And now Baekhyun's birthday fic
May. 3rd, 2015 04:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sparklepoxTitle: Easy After All
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Baekhyun/Jongdae
Word Count: 6726
Summary: Baekhyun doesn't expect much from his solo Caribbean adventure. He definitely doesn't expect to meet someone like Jongdae.
Notes: For this very old prompt at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
exopromptmeme. Technically this is for Baekhyun's birthday, but I'm impatient, so here you go.
There's something kind of pathetic about going on a cruise by yourself, Baekhyun thinks. Cruises are made for couples or families or groups of old people, not young gay losers with no boyfriends to drag along with them and friends who are all too busy with their lives to come on vacation with him.
On the other hand, what kind of idiot would say no to a heavily-discounted Caribbean cruise, even if it meant going alone? He's friendly, Baekhyun reasons. It won't be hard to make some friends, even if it's with straight couples and families and groups of old people. Maybe he'll even get lucky and there'll be a hot gay guy there, or at least a hot guy who's flexible enough about his sexuality to sleep with Baekhyun for three weeks.
He boards the ship in the afternoon, and that first night at dinner, he meets Jongdae. They have assigned tables for dinner, and there's an old woman there with her husband on one side of Baekhyun and an empty seat on the other, with Jongdae the next seat over. Baekhyun notices him as soon as he sits down, and not just because Jongdae looks to be the only other person at their table under the age of fifty. He's also got a friendly smile and a face that's quite easy on the eyes, so if nothing else, Baekhyun will enjoy the opportunity to look at him.
Baekhyun gestures at the empty chair between them and jokes, "I wonder who missed the boat." He's prepared for no one to laugh, but not for Jongdae's face to fall. He looks genuinely sad and Baekhyun has no idea why.
"Um, that is..." he hurriedly backtracks, but he doesn't know how to get out of this one when he doesn't know what's wrong with what he said. "Lucky me, with space to spread out." He puts his legs over the other chair, earning snickers from two older women across the table and a dirty look from the husband of the woman next to him.
It's a relief to see the sadness leave Jongdae's expression immediately. "That's my extra seat," he says, shoving Baekhyun's legs off and pulling the chair closer to him. Baekhyun pouts at him and Jongdae sticks out his tongue like they're five instead of twenty-five and the women across the table laugh outright.
Baekhyun and Jongdae talk over dinner, and he learns that Jongdae is the same age as him and he's a music teacher. He learns that their hometowns are not too far apart and their homes in Seoul are practically next door to each other. He does not learn why there's an empty seat between them, because contrary to popular belief, Baekhyun does possess a small morsel of tact.
That he learns the next day when they sit out on deck to get some sun, already chatting like old friends. "You know, this was supposed to be my honeymoon," Jongdae says out of the blue.
Baekhyun lifts his sunglasses so he can give Jongdae a proper surprised look, but he's turned away. "What happened?" he asks.
"Two weeks ago, she called me. Said she loves me but she's realized she's just not in love with me and I deserve to marry someone who is. What the hell does that even mean? You're not breaking up with me two weeks before our wedding for my benefit." Jongdae doesn't really sound angry, only a weary sort of bitterness lacing his voice.
"No offense, but why would you go on your honeymoon by yourself? Isn't that just rubbing salt in the wound?"
"That's what I said," Jongdae mutters. "But it was too late to cancel and my family told me I should stop moping and get away from it all for a while, try to forget her. I tried to rope one of my friends into coming with me, but nobody could get time off work at the last minute, so it was come alone or bring my mom. I think that's the only thing that would be more pathetic."
"Don't worry," Baekhyun says, overly brightly. "I'm a lonely loser too, so I'll keep you company."
"Hey, who are you calling a loser?" Jongdae grumbles, but he sounds amused now. Baekhyun is more than a little relieved.
That night, Baekhyun does what he does best and gets Jongdae drunk. He doesn't have any ulterior motives, just wanting to distract Jongdae from his moping, but he can't help thinking as he helps a stumbling Jongdae back to his cabin that he wouldn't really mind Jongdae taking solace in his arms. He's hot, quite possibly the only other hot single guy on this ship, and there's nothing like great sex for getting over heartbreak.
Instead, Jongdae flops onto the bed in his cabin with a melodramatic sigh, flinging his arm over his face. "It's not fair." He sounds kind of whiny, but sad too, so Baekhyun can't laugh. "I was a good boyfriend. A good fiancé. I really loved her. Why wasn't that enough? Am I not good enough?"
Emotional shit is really not Baekhyun's strong suit, but he'd have to have a heart of stone to leave Jongdae like this. "Don't go there," he says. "There are a lot of reasons for break ups, but anyone who tells you it's because you're not good enough is an asshole. Maybe you just weren't right together."
Jongdae lets out a frustrated groan, then moves his arm away and looks up at Baekhyun. "I don't want to think about her. I want to have an amazing vacation and be so happy I forget she exists."
Baekhyun lies down right next to Jongdae on the bed, looking up at the ceiling, the way he would with one of his much gayer friends. "I'll tell you what. Stick with me and we'll have an amazing time, I promise."
"Promise?" Jongdae rolls toward Baekhyun, and Baekhyun can't resist turning to face him, seeing his perfectly sculpted face up close.
"I promise." His voice goes low and soft as he says it, and even though Jongdae's eyes are hazy with drunkenness, Baekhyun can see the change in his expression.
Jongdae opens his mouth to say something, then hesitates. "Baekhyun," he finally says, barely a whisper.
"Hm?" Jongdae's leaning closer, close enough that Baekhyun wonders if he's dreaming.
"I don't...I mean, I'm not..." Jongdae bites his lip (and fuck, Baekhyun wants to bite it himself) before he concludes, soft and full of sadness, "Help me forget her?"
Baekhyun doesn't give him a chance to rethink it, just closes the distance between them to kiss Jongdae. The response is a little hesitant at first, but Jongdae quickly gets into it, kissing back enthusiastically. He's good at it, even if he's a little sloppy in his drunken state.
If Baekhyun were a better person, he would stop and make sure that Jongdae really wants this. He would wait until Jongdae is sober enough to think about what he's doing before doing something they can't take back. But Baekhyun's not such a good person, so he takes Jongdae at his word, helping him out of his clothes. He feels even better about his decision then, because Jongdae was hiding some nice muscles that feel great under Baekhyun's hands.
They can't go all the way because they're in Jongdae's cabin and Baekhyun is not such an asshole that he assumed he'd be having sex with Jongdae a day after they met, but Baekhyun does his best to make Jongdae forget everything except for him. Jongdae's eyes go wide when Baekhyun guides him to the edge of the bed and then climbs off of it, kneeling in front of him, but he doesn't say anything, just watches intently as Baekhyun sucks him down.
It's hot, having Jongdae watching him, and honestly Baekhyun gets off on this kind of thing, cocks or fingers or gags in his mouth. He touches himself slowly as he bobs his head, moaning around Jongdae's erection, and he hears Jongdae draw in a sharp breath, jerking under Baekhyun's touch. He looks up to make sure Jongdae's not freaking out, but he's not, just staring at Baekhyun like he can't quite believe what he's seeing.
Baekhyun takes that as a sign that he's not turned on enough, so he redoubles his efforts, taking Jongdae in as far as he can. He's gratified when a moan escapes Jongdae and he clutches at the blankets on the edge of the bed. He keeps moaning after that, restrained but loud enough for Baekhyun to know he's getting to him. He quickens his pace and strokes himself faster too, until it's a little overwhelming, but he kind of likes that too.
"Wait, I'm—" is all Jongdae manages to get out, but Baekhyun pulls off and strokes him to completion, come splattering on his face as Jongdae squeezes his eyes shut and gasps for breath. Baekhyun comes moments later, thumb dragging over the head of his cock. His head falls back and he's a little disappointed to find that Jongdae's eyes are still closed, though of course that's silly of him. Jongdae just wanted a warm body, someone to help him forget his ex-fiancée. There's no reason to expect him to want to see Baekhyun come.
He swipes a hand across his face in an attempt to clean it, but all he manages to do is make a mess all over his cheek. He doesn't realize Jongdae's opened his eyes until he laughs, looking down at Baekhyun. "It's a nice look for you," he teases, surprisingly calm considering that he's a newly-dumped mostly-straight guy and Baekhyun just sucked him off.
"I get that a lot," Baekhyun tosses back, casual, as he gets to his feet. There's a box of tissues next to the bed, so he grabs some to clean himself up better.
When he's done, he turns to find Jongdae sitting on the edge of the bed, his pants tugged up but still open in front, his expression turned serious. Neither of them is sober enough for a serious conversation, and Baekhyun hates them anyway, so he quickly says, "You should get some rest. And drink some water so you don't regret everything in the morning."
"Yeah," Jongdae agrees tightly, and Baekhyun realizes too late how that sounds.
"Sleep well," he says, and barely waits for Jongdae to mumble a response before beating a hasty retreat.
Baekhyun sleeps through breakfast the next morning, but hunger pulls him out of bed in time for lunch. There's free seating for lunch, so he sits with a group of old women who seem way too excited to befriend him and resolutely doesn't look around to see if Jongdae is there. Not that it has to be awkward, of course, because it was just a little blowjob between new friends, but he doesn't know how Jongdae feels about it now that he's sobered up. If he's freaking out, Baekhyun would prefer to stay far away from that.
He half expects to run into Jongdae after lunch, as he joins some of the other passengers looking for whales, but it's a big ship and it's not such a surprise that they don't see each other. At dinner, though, he finds Jongdae in his fiancée's seat next to Baekhyun's, a slightly hesitant smile on his face as Baekhyun sits down. "Have a nice day?" he asks.
"I did a very impressive job of not spotting a single whale, but otherwise good," Baekhyun tells him, grinning like they have no reason for awkwardness. As far as he's concerned, they don't.
Jongdae laughs, and Baekhyun breathes in an inward sigh of relief. "I didn't even try to see any, so you did better than me, at least."
They talk easily through dinner, so easily that Baekhyun wonders if he imagined that hesitation in Jongdae's smile and he's forgotten all about what happened the night before. Then again, maybe he really is just fine with it. He did ask for Baekhyun to help him out, after all.
Baekhyun lingers after dinner as the others at their table leave, until finally Jongdae asks, "Got any plans now?"
"I was thinking about catching a show tonight..." Off Jongdae's disappointed expression, he continues, "But I'm open to alternatives."
"Good," Jongdae says. "I wanted to talk to you."
"Will this talking involve drinking?" Baekhyun asks.
That gets a muted chuckle from Jongdae. "After. It shouldn't be a long talk."
"Sounds like my kind of talk. Let's do it."
They find a quiet spot on deck, because even at night, it's still pretty warm outside. The stars are bright, and Baekhyun looks at them while he waits for Jongdae to start their talk. He's not at all surprised when it starts, "About last night. It's not...I mean, it doesn't have to be a big deal, I just...I didn't know if it was okay or if it's weird. I'm not freaking out or anything, I mean, I think it's stupid to freak out just because you're a guy. But I didn't want to play around with you, you know, to give you the wrong idea."
He sounds incredibly unsure, but Baekhyun thinks he gets what Jongdae's trying to say. "I'm not expecting commitment from someone who just got dumped right before their wedding, if that's what you mean."
"Okay. Good."
Jongdae seems about to say something else, but Baekhyun decides to cut to the point. "Look, I'm just here to have a good time, and I think we can have fun together. If you want that fun to include sex, great. If you don't, that's fine. But there are no strings attached. I'm not really the commitment type anyway." When he glances over, Jongdae is looking at him uncertainly. "What?"
"This just isn't like me," Jongdae sheepishly admits.
"Well, the usual you got left at the altar," Baekhyun points out. Jongdae winces, but Baekhyun thinks he looks at least partly amused. "Live a little. Broaden your horizons." When Jongdae still looks skeptical, he asks, "Are you sure you're not bothered because I'm a guy?"
Jongdae shrugs. "I never thought about it before. Maybe that means I'm not into guys, but it could just mean that I never thought about it. Last night...was good. My memory's kind of fuzzy, but...it was good, right?"
"Yeah. And believe me when I say I can do a lot better."
The pause after he says that stretches out just a little too long, but then Jongdae laughs. "All right, then. Let's have as much fun as we can on this trip."
And have fun they do, chatting at meals, watching the brilliant blue ocean, walking on pristine beaches, and enjoying everything else the cruise has to offer together. They fit together amazingly well considering what a chance meeting this is. Jongdae matches Baekhyun snark for snark and never gets tired of talking the way some of his other friends do. They have a lot of interests in common, and Jongdae listens so attentively when Baekhyun tells him about the ones they don't share that it doesn't matter. In no time at all, they feel like the best of friends.
And true to his word, Baekhyun shows Jongdae a good time in bed too, introducing him to the wonders (such as they are) of gay sex. It's kind of cute how he takes to it, asking questions and remembering details like this is a class instead of a casual fling with a guy he just met, not backing down from anything Baekhyun might expect a mostly-straight guy to get squeamish about. It's nice for Baekhyun because it immediately stops being one-sided like their first night together and becomes about both of them doing their best to make each other feel good.
Baekhyun's having so much fun with Jongdae that the days fly by, and before he knows it, it's the last full day of their three-week cruise. "I can't believe it went by so fast," Jongdae comments as they walk back to his cabin after their last dinner on the ship. By noon tomorrow, they'll be docked in port and ready to fly back home. "I was expecting three weeks to drag so badly."
"That's because you didn't know you'd be meeting me," Baekhyun answers with a grin.
Jongdae laughs and slings an arm around Baekhyun's shoulders. "Very true," he agrees. "I wouldn't have had nearly as much fun without you."
"We should hang out some time, back in Seoul." Baekhyun says it casually, without thinking, but then he glances over at Jongdae, wondering if he's going too far. They've been getting along so well here, but maybe there's no room for someone like him in Jongdae's usual life.
But Jongdae just flashes him an easy smile. "We should. It'd be a waste not to when we live so close and we have so much fun together."
Back in Jongdae's cabin, they fall into bed like they have so many times during the last few weeks. Baekhyun's not one to take it slow of his own accord, but Jongdae drags it out tonight and he doesn't fight it, aside from egging him a little on now and then. Maybe Baekhyun doesn't mind that much, because this may very well be the last time, unless they go for a quickie in the morning. That's okay, because three weeks is longer than Baekhyun's slept with the same person in years and he knew all along that this was nothing more than a fling, but it's still a strange feeling.
If Jongdae feels anything like that, Baekhyun can't read it in his slow, steady thrusts, the strong arm he wraps around Baekhyun's chest, or the hand circling his cock. Even the brush of Jongdae's lips on the sensitive back of his neck tells Baekhyun nothing, or the soft murmur of his voice telling Baekhyun how good he feels, how tight, how perfect. That's just how Jongdae is, not insincere, but free with his affection and praise. It means no more or less than that Baekhyun feels good, that right now, Jongdae wants him.
Baekhyun never dwells on complicated things, so he doesn't think about that, just focuses on the slow burn of arousal building with each of Jongdae's thrusts, the warmth of Jongdae's chest pressed against his back. It does feel good, and that's the only thing that matters.
Baekhyun comes first with Jongdae's hand on him and his cock pounding deep inside, moaning with abandon because this is their last night and it doesn't matter if Jongdae's neighbors hear anything. Jongdae follows after only a few more thrusts, pressing close as Baekhyun's body clenches around him and makes him cry out. He stays like that for a few long moments after, holding Baekhyun tight, panting with his lips on Baekhyun's shoulder, and Baekhyun doesn't realize he's holding his breath.
And then it's over, Jongdae getting up to throw away the condom while Baekhyun slumps on the bed. When Jongdae comes back to bed, he lies down next to Baekhyun, only his hand resting on Baekhyun's bare hip. "Are you ready to go home?" he asks lightly.
"Not to work," Baekhyun says, "but it'll be nice to sleep in my comfy bed and have all my stuff. You?"
There's a long pause before Jongdae answers, and Baekhyun remembers too late that Jongdae has more reason than him to be dreading going home. Still, he doesn't sound sad when he answers, only matter of fact. "Not really, but I can't stay away forever. I do feel better about...everything than I did when I left, though. I guess my family was right that this would help me stop moping."
"I happen to know that I'm an amazing cure for moping."
Jongdae laughs and pats Baekhyun's hip. "That you are," he agrees. "You really are."
They do have a quickie the next morning (Baekhyun's arms braced on the shower wall, his moans echoing in the enclosed space as Jongdae sets a furious pace), but all too soon, it's noon and they find themselves waiting with their bags to get off the ship. They go to the airport together, but they're on different flights with different airlines, so they have to separate to go check in.
"Keep in touch, okay?" Jongdae says, flashing Baekhyun his brightest smile. "I'm going to have a lot to catch up on at work when I get back, but I'm sure we can find time to hang out."
"Absolutely," Baekhyun agrees, grinning back. "I won't let you forget about me."
They part ways with a quick hug, and it's fine, really, no big deal to say goodbye when they're sure to see each other again soon, but as he sits alone at the gate waiting for his flight, Baekhyun can't help thinking that it's a little too quiet without Jongdae to talk to.
Back in Seoul, everything is the way it was when Baekhyun left, his apartment and his job and his friends. He cheerfully tells stories about his Caribbean adventure, about the food and the sights to his family and coworkers, and about his exciting cruise fling to his friends. Jongdae becomes hotter every time Baekhyun talks about him, but everything else sticks to the truth. There's no need for spin to make it a good story when you sleep with a guy who got left at the altar only two weeks before, turning what was supposed to be his honeymoon into adventures in gay debauchery.
Jongdae texts him and Baekhyun writes back, both of them bemoaning their return to the drudgery of everyday life. Jongdae doesn't say anything about his ex-fiancée, about moving his things out of the apartment they were supposed to share and otherwise finishing separating their intertwined lives the way he told Baekhyun he'd need to, and Baekhyun doesn't ask. If Jongdae wants to talk about that, he can. If not, Baekhyun is perfectly happy to keep things simple.
They don't meet up, though Jongdae keeps saying they should. Sometimes he's busy and sometimes Baekhyun's busy and sometimes Baekhyun's not busy but he says he is. He doesn't know why he does it, and he knows it's stupid. He likes Jongdae. They had a lot of fun together. They can have more fun together now, and it doesn't matter if that fun no longer includes sex. Jongdae could be a really good friend and Baekhyun would be an idiot to let him go.
But life goes on and soon nearly five months have passed since Baekhyun came back to Seoul and Jongdae hasn't mentioned getting together in weeks. Then Baekhyun wakes up to a text from Jongdae one morning. My friends are demanding that I have a birthday party this Saturday. Are you busy? I think everyone's starting to suspect I made you up.
What about all those pictures you took of the two of us? Baekhyun writes back.
They don't respond to logic, is Jongdae's quick reply. So? Can you come?
Baekhyun isn't busy on Saturday, and what kind of jerk would he be to refuse Jongdae when it's his birthday? Besides, it's not like he doesn't want to see Jongdae. Sure. I'll be there.
Jongdae sends him back a long line of happy faces, and Baekhyun steadfastly ignores the strange tightness in his chest as he thinks about seeing Jongdae again for the first time in months.
Jongdae looks exactly the same when Baekhyun arrives at the restaurant for his party, and he gets up and gives Baekhyun a hug without hesitation. "Guys, this is Baekhyun," he tells his friends, his arm lingering around Baekhyun's shoulders. "As you can see, he's a real person."
Jongdae's friends are nice and Baekhyun is anything but shy, so it's a fun night, especially once they get some alcohol in them. Jongdae's across the table, caught up in another conversation, when his friend Junmyeon turns to Baekhyun. "I've got to say, you must be magic or something. Jongdae was so miserable before he went on that cruise, and he was so sure he was going to hate it, but then he came back and he was himself again, excited and telling us about all the stuff you did together."
"All the stuff?" Baekhyun asks without thinking.
He cringes inwardly once his brain catches up, but Junmyeon just smiles, leaning in to whisper, "Not everyone's heard it all, so it'd be best for you to keep that quiet for now."
"Of course," Baekhyun says automatically, but he's distracted because Jongdae is looking in his direction, a confused little frown on his face. Then he looks away almost immediately, leaving Baekhyun to wonder if he imagined it.
Jongdae is very, very drunk by the end of the night, wobbling on his feet as they leave the restaurant, but when Junmyeon says, "Let's get you home," he protests, "No! I want to talk to Baekhyun." He turns to look at Baekhyun, and Baekhyun doesn't understand why there's a challenge in his eyes, or what looks almost like a plea underneath it.
Baekhyun's none too sober himself, but he says, "I can get him home."
"You don't know where he lives, do you?" Junmyeon points out, sensibly enough.
"That's why we have GPS," Baekhyun shoots back. "And I know the neighborhood."
"I'm not that drunk anyway," Jongdae puts in, though from how slurred his words are, Baekhyun's not too sure that's true. To Junmyeon, he adds, "It's fine, hyung." Junmyeon still looks skeptical, but he lets them go after Jongdae promises to text once he's home safely.
"So," Baekhyun says once they're alone, "You wanted to talk to me?" Jongdae's still unsteady, so he puts an arm around him as they start to walk.
"Yeah." There's a long pause before Jongdae continues, "I'm glad you came. I wasn't sure you would."
"Why wouldn't I?" Baekhyun asks lightly.
"I don't know." Baekhyun's not looking at him, but he thinks Jongdae sounds a little sad. "You've turned me down so many times. I thought maybe there was a reason you didn't want to see me."
"Don't be silly," Baekhyun says, ignoring the little voice in his head that says Jongdae's not entirely wrong. "I like you."
Jongdae stops walking abruptly so he can turn to Baekhyun, who somewhat reluctantly meets his eyes. "I know it didn't mean anything," he blurts out.
"What?" Baekhyun can guess what "it" he's referring to, but he doesn't understand why Jongdae's bringing it up like this.
"You know," Jongdae says. Then, as if Baekhyun needs the clarification, "All that sex."
"Okay?" Baekhyun frowns, confused. If anything, this conversation should be happening the other way around, because Baekhyun knows Jongdae isn't gay, that he was just looking for a distraction. Baekhyun's the one who can't quite seem to let it go even though he knows he should.
And then Jongdae kisses him, right there in the middle of the sidewalk with people walking past them. It takes a few seconds for Baekhyun's brain to catch up, but then he pushes Jongdae away. "What are you doing?" he demands.
Jongdae's face falls and his shoulders droop. "Sorry. Never mind."
"Wait, I..." Baekhyun frowns. "You can't just do that in public." He grabs Jongdae's wrist to pull him along as he starts walking again, and Jongdae stumbles after him.
They don't say another word on the way to Jongdae's apartment, out of character for both of them. Baekhyun's thoughts are racing, trying to figure out what's going on, why Jongdae kissed him, but he doesn't get it. This is way too complicated, and Baekhyun has never liked complications.
He doesn't look at Jongdae until they're inside, and when he does, he finds him still drooping, a (kind of adorable) pout on his face. "So." Baekhyun swallows down that same tight feeling in his chest he had when he agreed to come to Jongdae's party and does his best not to think about what it means. "That kissing thing."
Jongdae walks over to the couch and flops down at one end, so Baekhyun takes the other. Jongdae looks down at his hands, tapping out a pattern on his thighs. An image springs to Baekhyun's mind unbidden of Jongdae's bare thighs, and he remembers how the hard muscle in them felt under his lips. He knows he shouldn't think about that anymore, or at least not about wanting to feel it again, but Jongdae's right there and he kissed Baekhyun before and it's impossible to push the thought aside.
The silence stretches out long enough that Baekhyun is about to say something just to break the tension, but finally Jongdae says, "I know we were just having fun. It was fun, and...right after getting dumped by my fiancée is obviously not a good time to meet anyone new, and you said you weren't looking for anything either. And I mean, I'd never even kissed a guy before and I didn't think I wanted to, and...I don't know, but I can't stop thinking about you." It comes out all in a rush, slurred enough that it's obvious Jongdae is still a long way from sober.
Baekhyun frowns, feeling like he's definitely not sober enough for this either. "You...what?"
"I don't know," Jongdae whines. It sounds pathetic, but also kind of adorable. "I just wanted to try kissing you again, to see if I made too big a deal out of it in my head or if it was really...something."
"And?" Baekhyun asks immediately, too drunk to hold back.
Jongdae looks at him for a few long seconds, then back down. "I don't know. You barely let me do it."
Baekhyun has to laugh a little at that. "I don't know if you make a habit of kissing your girlfriends in public, but you've got to be a little more careful with guys."
"Yeah, I don't usually do that," Jongdae says sheepishly. "I guess I'm drunk."
"No shit," Baekhyun says dryly. Then, a little more serious, "You shouldn't do that, but...in here it's okay."
Jongdae meets his eyes again and Baekhyun can see that he looks nervous, even as drunk as he is. It's awkward, so he grins disarmingly and teases, "Come on, it's not like it's our first kiss."
"Not even close," Jongdae agrees. He sounds gruff, but more like himself. He moves across the couch until he's kneeling next to Baekhyun and, with only a brief hesitation, leans in to kiss him.
For Baekhyun, there's no question that this is something, at least in the sense that he likes kissing guys, and more specifically likes kissing Jongdae. He lets Jongdae call the shots, which gets him Jongdae's tongue in his mouth and his hands fisted in Baekhyun's shirt. It seems that Jongdae has come to a similar conclusion about kissing because he doesn't pull away, just kisses deep and hard.
They've been at it for a while when Jongdae's hands start to fumble with the buttons on Baekhyun's shirt and it becomes clear that it's not just kissing he wants. Much like their first time, Baekhyun should probably hold back, should probably ask Jongdae if he's really sure about this, but he can't. He's refused to admit it to himself in the months since he came back to Seoul because he doesn't like to get attached, but he's missed this. He's missed Jongdae's kisses and touches, missed Jongdae wrapped around him and pushing inside of him. Given an opportunity to have that again, he can't say no.
They move to Jongdae's bed, and Baekhyun doesn't tease him about having condoms and lube on hand because he's afraid of breaking the moment, afraid of giving Jongdae a chance to change his mind. He just lets Jongdae stretch him open a little too quickly and fuck him into the mattress, both of them probably making more noise than they should. Jongdae's not at his most coordinated, but it's still good, and Baekhyun closes his eyes and pretends they're back on the ship where everything was simpler. It's easy to get lost in it, and when he comes, he doesn't think about anything except for how good it feels.
Baekhyun wakes up in Jongdae's bed, naked, hungover and alone. The first part he doesn't mind, but the other two he's experienced together too many times and he can't say he's a fan. It feels especially bad today because it's not some random one-night stand who left him while he was asleep but Jongdae, who is...Baekhyun's not sure what, exactly, but at this point he has to admit that Jongdae's more than just an easily-forgotten vacation fling.
He spends a few seconds moping about that before he remembers that this is Jongdae's apartment, so he can't have just gone home. Sure enough, once Baekhyun manages to roll out of bed and put on pants and open the bedroom door, he finds Jongdae sitting and staring into space, his hands wrapped around a cup of coffee. He doesn't look at Baekhyun, but he says a quiet, "Good morning," uncharacteristically muted.
"Morning," Baekhyun chirps, more cheerfully than he feels. "Got any more of that?" He gestures at Jongdae's cup as he takes the other chair.
Jongdae looks startled, which is probably a sign he's not entirely awake yet. "Sure." He gets up and pours another cup, handing it back to Baekhyun still without looking at him. When he sits down again, he lets out a loud sigh and starts, "So—"
"We can talk after I drink some coffee," Baekhyun cuts in.
That gets a hint of a smile from Jongdae, at least. "Okay."
They sit in silence for a few minutes. Baekhyun's impulse is to chatter, but it feels weird after he just stopped Jongdae from talking, so he just sits and fidgets as he drinks his coffee. He's not feeling much more awake or less hungover after a few minutes, but he can't stand the tense silence, so he abruptly asks, "How was it?"
"How was what?" Jongdae asks, confused. "Do you mean...?"
Baekhyun laughs, part amused and part the kind of too loud laugh he does when things are awkward. "I'm not asking if I was a good lay. You said you wanted to see how things were between us now."
Jongdae smiles ruefully. "Oh, right." Another sigh. "Considering what happened after I kissed you, I'd say the answer is pretty obvious."
"That's true," Baekhyun agrees, though part of him just wants to scream, "And?!"
He restrains himself, waiting until Jongdae says, "I'm sorry. You probably didn't want to get yourself tangled up in something like this."
"What?" It's Baekhyun's turn to be confused now.
"You just wanted some fun and now I'm making it all complicated." There's just a moment of hesitation before he asks, "Right?" like he's not sure he wants to hear the answer. He doesn't even give Baekhyun a chance to respond before he continues, "I got the impression you were avoiding me until yesterday, and I can't really blame you. If you just want me to leave you alone, I will, but I'd like it if we could at least still be friends. I—"
"Do I get to talk?" Baekhyun interrupts. It's usually him going on and on like this, not the other way around.
Jongdae flashes him a sheepish grimace. "Sorry. I'm doing the nervous rambling thing."
"I noticed," Baekhyun says dryly. Now that it's his turn to talk, though, he realizes he doesn't know what to say. Or, more accurately, he knows what to say, but he's scared to say it. He was telling the truth when he assured Jongdae he wasn't the commitment type, back at the beginning, but it seems like he and Jongdae both got more attached than they intended to. Does that mean this could really go somewhere? Is he up for that?
Apparently he spends too long thinking because Jongdae waves a hand in front of his face. "Hello?"
"Sorry." Baekhyun chews at his lip while he works up the courage to say, "I was avoiding you." Jongdae frowns uncertainly, like he's not sure if he should be upset. "I don't know why, but..." He laughs awkwardly. "Maybe I do know. You know, I haven't slept with the same person for three weeks straight in forever. I thought it would just be a fun fling, and it was, but then..."
He can see the flicker of uncertain hope in Jongdae's eyes. "Then what?"
"We were good together. And I thought that once you went back to your normal life where you don't sleep with people like me, that'd be the end of it, but then you had to go and kiss me and now...I don't know anymore. I know how to do flings. I don't know how to do...whatever this is, especially not with guys who think they're straight and until recently were engaged."
"Well, I can't say I think I'm entirely straight anymore, and it's been almost six months, so I'm probably out of the rebound stage." Jongdae's smiling now, still a little hesitant, but steady. "Are you that scared of commitment?" he teases.
"It's hard," Baekhyun whines, but underneath, he's thinking about how it's really not hard with Jongdae, recent complications aside. He's easy to talk to, a good match in interests and not put off by Baekhyun's endless chattering. Surprisingly enough all things considered, they're a good match in bed too, Jongdae keeping up with Baekhyun in terms of energy and willingness to try new things, and Baekhyun likes how Jongdae is nice but not sappy. They really do fit well together, and that's why Baekhyun's gotten in a lot deeper than he expected.
Jongdae laughs, but when he speaks again, he's serious. "If you don't want to go anywhere with this, I understand. But if it's just about being scared...hey, you taught me a lot about being with a guy, and just about letting go. In exchange, I'll teach you how to be with the same person for a lot more than three weeks." Baekhyun opens his mouth but Jongdae immediately adds, "If you make a joke about my last relationship, I'll throw my coffee in your face."
"Got it," Baekhyun says dryly.
Jongdae's still smiling, so it doesn't seem like he's really mad. "Granted, if there's anything I learned from that relationship, it's that you never know what'll happen, but we can at least try? We can take it slow, but I'd really like it if we could try and see where this goes."
It's not any less scary now, but Baekhyun would be lying if he said he didn't want to try. If Jongdae's this ready to give a chance to a relationship that's different than anything he's had before, a relationship that he must know has its inherent complications, what excuse does Baekhyun have to chicken out? "Okay. Let's give it a try."
Jongdae positively beams in response, his eyes crinkling up into nothing, and Baekhyun lets go of his lingering fear and smiles back. They don't know what'll happen, but he has a feeling that this is going to be good.
Epilogue
Two weeks before their wedding (not legally binding, but still an official commitment as far as they're concerned), Baekhyun comes home from work with flowers for Jongdae. It's not like him to make that sort of gesture, so Jongdae looks surprised as he gets up to accept the bouquet and a kiss. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" he asks.
"I wanted to tell you that I love you," Baekhyun says. Jongdae eyes him warily, waiting for the punch line; he knows Baekhyun too well to think it's that simple. "I love you, and also I'm in love with you, so you damn well better marry me in two weeks."
Jongdae rolls his eyes so hard Baekhyun's surprised they don't fall out of his head. "If these flowers weren't so pretty, I'd throw them at you."
"You know you love me." Baekhyun grins, pleased with the reaction.
"I do," Jongdae agrees. "Even when you're an ass." He holds the flowers to the side and grabs Baekhyun's tie to pull him in for another kiss. "So you'd better mean what you said."
"Of course," Baekhyun says lightly, easily, because he's long since learned to stop being scared of how much he loves Jongdae. "Remember how you taught me all about commitment? You're never getting rid of me now."
Jongdae grins and kisses him one more time. "I wouldn't dream of trying."
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Baekhyun/Jongdae
Word Count: 6726
Summary: Baekhyun doesn't expect much from his solo Caribbean adventure. He definitely doesn't expect to meet someone like Jongdae.
Notes: For this very old prompt at
exopromptmeme. Technically this is for Baekhyun's birthday, but I'm impatient, so here you go.There's something kind of pathetic about going on a cruise by yourself, Baekhyun thinks. Cruises are made for couples or families or groups of old people, not young gay losers with no boyfriends to drag along with them and friends who are all too busy with their lives to come on vacation with him.
On the other hand, what kind of idiot would say no to a heavily-discounted Caribbean cruise, even if it meant going alone? He's friendly, Baekhyun reasons. It won't be hard to make some friends, even if it's with straight couples and families and groups of old people. Maybe he'll even get lucky and there'll be a hot gay guy there, or at least a hot guy who's flexible enough about his sexuality to sleep with Baekhyun for three weeks.
He boards the ship in the afternoon, and that first night at dinner, he meets Jongdae. They have assigned tables for dinner, and there's an old woman there with her husband on one side of Baekhyun and an empty seat on the other, with Jongdae the next seat over. Baekhyun notices him as soon as he sits down, and not just because Jongdae looks to be the only other person at their table under the age of fifty. He's also got a friendly smile and a face that's quite easy on the eyes, so if nothing else, Baekhyun will enjoy the opportunity to look at him.
Baekhyun gestures at the empty chair between them and jokes, "I wonder who missed the boat." He's prepared for no one to laugh, but not for Jongdae's face to fall. He looks genuinely sad and Baekhyun has no idea why.
"Um, that is..." he hurriedly backtracks, but he doesn't know how to get out of this one when he doesn't know what's wrong with what he said. "Lucky me, with space to spread out." He puts his legs over the other chair, earning snickers from two older women across the table and a dirty look from the husband of the woman next to him.
It's a relief to see the sadness leave Jongdae's expression immediately. "That's my extra seat," he says, shoving Baekhyun's legs off and pulling the chair closer to him. Baekhyun pouts at him and Jongdae sticks out his tongue like they're five instead of twenty-five and the women across the table laugh outright.
Baekhyun and Jongdae talk over dinner, and he learns that Jongdae is the same age as him and he's a music teacher. He learns that their hometowns are not too far apart and their homes in Seoul are practically next door to each other. He does not learn why there's an empty seat between them, because contrary to popular belief, Baekhyun does possess a small morsel of tact.
That he learns the next day when they sit out on deck to get some sun, already chatting like old friends. "You know, this was supposed to be my honeymoon," Jongdae says out of the blue.
Baekhyun lifts his sunglasses so he can give Jongdae a proper surprised look, but he's turned away. "What happened?" he asks.
"Two weeks ago, she called me. Said she loves me but she's realized she's just not in love with me and I deserve to marry someone who is. What the hell does that even mean? You're not breaking up with me two weeks before our wedding for my benefit." Jongdae doesn't really sound angry, only a weary sort of bitterness lacing his voice.
"No offense, but why would you go on your honeymoon by yourself? Isn't that just rubbing salt in the wound?"
"That's what I said," Jongdae mutters. "But it was too late to cancel and my family told me I should stop moping and get away from it all for a while, try to forget her. I tried to rope one of my friends into coming with me, but nobody could get time off work at the last minute, so it was come alone or bring my mom. I think that's the only thing that would be more pathetic."
"Don't worry," Baekhyun says, overly brightly. "I'm a lonely loser too, so I'll keep you company."
"Hey, who are you calling a loser?" Jongdae grumbles, but he sounds amused now. Baekhyun is more than a little relieved.
That night, Baekhyun does what he does best and gets Jongdae drunk. He doesn't have any ulterior motives, just wanting to distract Jongdae from his moping, but he can't help thinking as he helps a stumbling Jongdae back to his cabin that he wouldn't really mind Jongdae taking solace in his arms. He's hot, quite possibly the only other hot single guy on this ship, and there's nothing like great sex for getting over heartbreak.
Instead, Jongdae flops onto the bed in his cabin with a melodramatic sigh, flinging his arm over his face. "It's not fair." He sounds kind of whiny, but sad too, so Baekhyun can't laugh. "I was a good boyfriend. A good fiancé. I really loved her. Why wasn't that enough? Am I not good enough?"
Emotional shit is really not Baekhyun's strong suit, but he'd have to have a heart of stone to leave Jongdae like this. "Don't go there," he says. "There are a lot of reasons for break ups, but anyone who tells you it's because you're not good enough is an asshole. Maybe you just weren't right together."
Jongdae lets out a frustrated groan, then moves his arm away and looks up at Baekhyun. "I don't want to think about her. I want to have an amazing vacation and be so happy I forget she exists."
Baekhyun lies down right next to Jongdae on the bed, looking up at the ceiling, the way he would with one of his much gayer friends. "I'll tell you what. Stick with me and we'll have an amazing time, I promise."
"Promise?" Jongdae rolls toward Baekhyun, and Baekhyun can't resist turning to face him, seeing his perfectly sculpted face up close.
"I promise." His voice goes low and soft as he says it, and even though Jongdae's eyes are hazy with drunkenness, Baekhyun can see the change in his expression.
Jongdae opens his mouth to say something, then hesitates. "Baekhyun," he finally says, barely a whisper.
"Hm?" Jongdae's leaning closer, close enough that Baekhyun wonders if he's dreaming.
"I don't...I mean, I'm not..." Jongdae bites his lip (and fuck, Baekhyun wants to bite it himself) before he concludes, soft and full of sadness, "Help me forget her?"
Baekhyun doesn't give him a chance to rethink it, just closes the distance between them to kiss Jongdae. The response is a little hesitant at first, but Jongdae quickly gets into it, kissing back enthusiastically. He's good at it, even if he's a little sloppy in his drunken state.
If Baekhyun were a better person, he would stop and make sure that Jongdae really wants this. He would wait until Jongdae is sober enough to think about what he's doing before doing something they can't take back. But Baekhyun's not such a good person, so he takes Jongdae at his word, helping him out of his clothes. He feels even better about his decision then, because Jongdae was hiding some nice muscles that feel great under Baekhyun's hands.
They can't go all the way because they're in Jongdae's cabin and Baekhyun is not such an asshole that he assumed he'd be having sex with Jongdae a day after they met, but Baekhyun does his best to make Jongdae forget everything except for him. Jongdae's eyes go wide when Baekhyun guides him to the edge of the bed and then climbs off of it, kneeling in front of him, but he doesn't say anything, just watches intently as Baekhyun sucks him down.
It's hot, having Jongdae watching him, and honestly Baekhyun gets off on this kind of thing, cocks or fingers or gags in his mouth. He touches himself slowly as he bobs his head, moaning around Jongdae's erection, and he hears Jongdae draw in a sharp breath, jerking under Baekhyun's touch. He looks up to make sure Jongdae's not freaking out, but he's not, just staring at Baekhyun like he can't quite believe what he's seeing.
Baekhyun takes that as a sign that he's not turned on enough, so he redoubles his efforts, taking Jongdae in as far as he can. He's gratified when a moan escapes Jongdae and he clutches at the blankets on the edge of the bed. He keeps moaning after that, restrained but loud enough for Baekhyun to know he's getting to him. He quickens his pace and strokes himself faster too, until it's a little overwhelming, but he kind of likes that too.
"Wait, I'm—" is all Jongdae manages to get out, but Baekhyun pulls off and strokes him to completion, come splattering on his face as Jongdae squeezes his eyes shut and gasps for breath. Baekhyun comes moments later, thumb dragging over the head of his cock. His head falls back and he's a little disappointed to find that Jongdae's eyes are still closed, though of course that's silly of him. Jongdae just wanted a warm body, someone to help him forget his ex-fiancée. There's no reason to expect him to want to see Baekhyun come.
He swipes a hand across his face in an attempt to clean it, but all he manages to do is make a mess all over his cheek. He doesn't realize Jongdae's opened his eyes until he laughs, looking down at Baekhyun. "It's a nice look for you," he teases, surprisingly calm considering that he's a newly-dumped mostly-straight guy and Baekhyun just sucked him off.
"I get that a lot," Baekhyun tosses back, casual, as he gets to his feet. There's a box of tissues next to the bed, so he grabs some to clean himself up better.
When he's done, he turns to find Jongdae sitting on the edge of the bed, his pants tugged up but still open in front, his expression turned serious. Neither of them is sober enough for a serious conversation, and Baekhyun hates them anyway, so he quickly says, "You should get some rest. And drink some water so you don't regret everything in the morning."
"Yeah," Jongdae agrees tightly, and Baekhyun realizes too late how that sounds.
"Sleep well," he says, and barely waits for Jongdae to mumble a response before beating a hasty retreat.
Baekhyun sleeps through breakfast the next morning, but hunger pulls him out of bed in time for lunch. There's free seating for lunch, so he sits with a group of old women who seem way too excited to befriend him and resolutely doesn't look around to see if Jongdae is there. Not that it has to be awkward, of course, because it was just a little blowjob between new friends, but he doesn't know how Jongdae feels about it now that he's sobered up. If he's freaking out, Baekhyun would prefer to stay far away from that.
He half expects to run into Jongdae after lunch, as he joins some of the other passengers looking for whales, but it's a big ship and it's not such a surprise that they don't see each other. At dinner, though, he finds Jongdae in his fiancée's seat next to Baekhyun's, a slightly hesitant smile on his face as Baekhyun sits down. "Have a nice day?" he asks.
"I did a very impressive job of not spotting a single whale, but otherwise good," Baekhyun tells him, grinning like they have no reason for awkwardness. As far as he's concerned, they don't.
Jongdae laughs, and Baekhyun breathes in an inward sigh of relief. "I didn't even try to see any, so you did better than me, at least."
They talk easily through dinner, so easily that Baekhyun wonders if he imagined that hesitation in Jongdae's smile and he's forgotten all about what happened the night before. Then again, maybe he really is just fine with it. He did ask for Baekhyun to help him out, after all.
Baekhyun lingers after dinner as the others at their table leave, until finally Jongdae asks, "Got any plans now?"
"I was thinking about catching a show tonight..." Off Jongdae's disappointed expression, he continues, "But I'm open to alternatives."
"Good," Jongdae says. "I wanted to talk to you."
"Will this talking involve drinking?" Baekhyun asks.
That gets a muted chuckle from Jongdae. "After. It shouldn't be a long talk."
"Sounds like my kind of talk. Let's do it."
They find a quiet spot on deck, because even at night, it's still pretty warm outside. The stars are bright, and Baekhyun looks at them while he waits for Jongdae to start their talk. He's not at all surprised when it starts, "About last night. It's not...I mean, it doesn't have to be a big deal, I just...I didn't know if it was okay or if it's weird. I'm not freaking out or anything, I mean, I think it's stupid to freak out just because you're a guy. But I didn't want to play around with you, you know, to give you the wrong idea."
He sounds incredibly unsure, but Baekhyun thinks he gets what Jongdae's trying to say. "I'm not expecting commitment from someone who just got dumped right before their wedding, if that's what you mean."
"Okay. Good."
Jongdae seems about to say something else, but Baekhyun decides to cut to the point. "Look, I'm just here to have a good time, and I think we can have fun together. If you want that fun to include sex, great. If you don't, that's fine. But there are no strings attached. I'm not really the commitment type anyway." When he glances over, Jongdae is looking at him uncertainly. "What?"
"This just isn't like me," Jongdae sheepishly admits.
"Well, the usual you got left at the altar," Baekhyun points out. Jongdae winces, but Baekhyun thinks he looks at least partly amused. "Live a little. Broaden your horizons." When Jongdae still looks skeptical, he asks, "Are you sure you're not bothered because I'm a guy?"
Jongdae shrugs. "I never thought about it before. Maybe that means I'm not into guys, but it could just mean that I never thought about it. Last night...was good. My memory's kind of fuzzy, but...it was good, right?"
"Yeah. And believe me when I say I can do a lot better."
The pause after he says that stretches out just a little too long, but then Jongdae laughs. "All right, then. Let's have as much fun as we can on this trip."
And have fun they do, chatting at meals, watching the brilliant blue ocean, walking on pristine beaches, and enjoying everything else the cruise has to offer together. They fit together amazingly well considering what a chance meeting this is. Jongdae matches Baekhyun snark for snark and never gets tired of talking the way some of his other friends do. They have a lot of interests in common, and Jongdae listens so attentively when Baekhyun tells him about the ones they don't share that it doesn't matter. In no time at all, they feel like the best of friends.
And true to his word, Baekhyun shows Jongdae a good time in bed too, introducing him to the wonders (such as they are) of gay sex. It's kind of cute how he takes to it, asking questions and remembering details like this is a class instead of a casual fling with a guy he just met, not backing down from anything Baekhyun might expect a mostly-straight guy to get squeamish about. It's nice for Baekhyun because it immediately stops being one-sided like their first night together and becomes about both of them doing their best to make each other feel good.
Baekhyun's having so much fun with Jongdae that the days fly by, and before he knows it, it's the last full day of their three-week cruise. "I can't believe it went by so fast," Jongdae comments as they walk back to his cabin after their last dinner on the ship. By noon tomorrow, they'll be docked in port and ready to fly back home. "I was expecting three weeks to drag so badly."
"That's because you didn't know you'd be meeting me," Baekhyun answers with a grin.
Jongdae laughs and slings an arm around Baekhyun's shoulders. "Very true," he agrees. "I wouldn't have had nearly as much fun without you."
"We should hang out some time, back in Seoul." Baekhyun says it casually, without thinking, but then he glances over at Jongdae, wondering if he's going too far. They've been getting along so well here, but maybe there's no room for someone like him in Jongdae's usual life.
But Jongdae just flashes him an easy smile. "We should. It'd be a waste not to when we live so close and we have so much fun together."
Back in Jongdae's cabin, they fall into bed like they have so many times during the last few weeks. Baekhyun's not one to take it slow of his own accord, but Jongdae drags it out tonight and he doesn't fight it, aside from egging him a little on now and then. Maybe Baekhyun doesn't mind that much, because this may very well be the last time, unless they go for a quickie in the morning. That's okay, because three weeks is longer than Baekhyun's slept with the same person in years and he knew all along that this was nothing more than a fling, but it's still a strange feeling.
If Jongdae feels anything like that, Baekhyun can't read it in his slow, steady thrusts, the strong arm he wraps around Baekhyun's chest, or the hand circling his cock. Even the brush of Jongdae's lips on the sensitive back of his neck tells Baekhyun nothing, or the soft murmur of his voice telling Baekhyun how good he feels, how tight, how perfect. That's just how Jongdae is, not insincere, but free with his affection and praise. It means no more or less than that Baekhyun feels good, that right now, Jongdae wants him.
Baekhyun never dwells on complicated things, so he doesn't think about that, just focuses on the slow burn of arousal building with each of Jongdae's thrusts, the warmth of Jongdae's chest pressed against his back. It does feel good, and that's the only thing that matters.
Baekhyun comes first with Jongdae's hand on him and his cock pounding deep inside, moaning with abandon because this is their last night and it doesn't matter if Jongdae's neighbors hear anything. Jongdae follows after only a few more thrusts, pressing close as Baekhyun's body clenches around him and makes him cry out. He stays like that for a few long moments after, holding Baekhyun tight, panting with his lips on Baekhyun's shoulder, and Baekhyun doesn't realize he's holding his breath.
And then it's over, Jongdae getting up to throw away the condom while Baekhyun slumps on the bed. When Jongdae comes back to bed, he lies down next to Baekhyun, only his hand resting on Baekhyun's bare hip. "Are you ready to go home?" he asks lightly.
"Not to work," Baekhyun says, "but it'll be nice to sleep in my comfy bed and have all my stuff. You?"
There's a long pause before Jongdae answers, and Baekhyun remembers too late that Jongdae has more reason than him to be dreading going home. Still, he doesn't sound sad when he answers, only matter of fact. "Not really, but I can't stay away forever. I do feel better about...everything than I did when I left, though. I guess my family was right that this would help me stop moping."
"I happen to know that I'm an amazing cure for moping."
Jongdae laughs and pats Baekhyun's hip. "That you are," he agrees. "You really are."
They do have a quickie the next morning (Baekhyun's arms braced on the shower wall, his moans echoing in the enclosed space as Jongdae sets a furious pace), but all too soon, it's noon and they find themselves waiting with their bags to get off the ship. They go to the airport together, but they're on different flights with different airlines, so they have to separate to go check in.
"Keep in touch, okay?" Jongdae says, flashing Baekhyun his brightest smile. "I'm going to have a lot to catch up on at work when I get back, but I'm sure we can find time to hang out."
"Absolutely," Baekhyun agrees, grinning back. "I won't let you forget about me."
They part ways with a quick hug, and it's fine, really, no big deal to say goodbye when they're sure to see each other again soon, but as he sits alone at the gate waiting for his flight, Baekhyun can't help thinking that it's a little too quiet without Jongdae to talk to.
Back in Seoul, everything is the way it was when Baekhyun left, his apartment and his job and his friends. He cheerfully tells stories about his Caribbean adventure, about the food and the sights to his family and coworkers, and about his exciting cruise fling to his friends. Jongdae becomes hotter every time Baekhyun talks about him, but everything else sticks to the truth. There's no need for spin to make it a good story when you sleep with a guy who got left at the altar only two weeks before, turning what was supposed to be his honeymoon into adventures in gay debauchery.
Jongdae texts him and Baekhyun writes back, both of them bemoaning their return to the drudgery of everyday life. Jongdae doesn't say anything about his ex-fiancée, about moving his things out of the apartment they were supposed to share and otherwise finishing separating their intertwined lives the way he told Baekhyun he'd need to, and Baekhyun doesn't ask. If Jongdae wants to talk about that, he can. If not, Baekhyun is perfectly happy to keep things simple.
They don't meet up, though Jongdae keeps saying they should. Sometimes he's busy and sometimes Baekhyun's busy and sometimes Baekhyun's not busy but he says he is. He doesn't know why he does it, and he knows it's stupid. He likes Jongdae. They had a lot of fun together. They can have more fun together now, and it doesn't matter if that fun no longer includes sex. Jongdae could be a really good friend and Baekhyun would be an idiot to let him go.
But life goes on and soon nearly five months have passed since Baekhyun came back to Seoul and Jongdae hasn't mentioned getting together in weeks. Then Baekhyun wakes up to a text from Jongdae one morning. My friends are demanding that I have a birthday party this Saturday. Are you busy? I think everyone's starting to suspect I made you up.
What about all those pictures you took of the two of us? Baekhyun writes back.
They don't respond to logic, is Jongdae's quick reply. So? Can you come?
Baekhyun isn't busy on Saturday, and what kind of jerk would he be to refuse Jongdae when it's his birthday? Besides, it's not like he doesn't want to see Jongdae. Sure. I'll be there.
Jongdae sends him back a long line of happy faces, and Baekhyun steadfastly ignores the strange tightness in his chest as he thinks about seeing Jongdae again for the first time in months.
Jongdae looks exactly the same when Baekhyun arrives at the restaurant for his party, and he gets up and gives Baekhyun a hug without hesitation. "Guys, this is Baekhyun," he tells his friends, his arm lingering around Baekhyun's shoulders. "As you can see, he's a real person."
Jongdae's friends are nice and Baekhyun is anything but shy, so it's a fun night, especially once they get some alcohol in them. Jongdae's across the table, caught up in another conversation, when his friend Junmyeon turns to Baekhyun. "I've got to say, you must be magic or something. Jongdae was so miserable before he went on that cruise, and he was so sure he was going to hate it, but then he came back and he was himself again, excited and telling us about all the stuff you did together."
"All the stuff?" Baekhyun asks without thinking.
He cringes inwardly once his brain catches up, but Junmyeon just smiles, leaning in to whisper, "Not everyone's heard it all, so it'd be best for you to keep that quiet for now."
"Of course," Baekhyun says automatically, but he's distracted because Jongdae is looking in his direction, a confused little frown on his face. Then he looks away almost immediately, leaving Baekhyun to wonder if he imagined it.
Jongdae is very, very drunk by the end of the night, wobbling on his feet as they leave the restaurant, but when Junmyeon says, "Let's get you home," he protests, "No! I want to talk to Baekhyun." He turns to look at Baekhyun, and Baekhyun doesn't understand why there's a challenge in his eyes, or what looks almost like a plea underneath it.
Baekhyun's none too sober himself, but he says, "I can get him home."
"You don't know where he lives, do you?" Junmyeon points out, sensibly enough.
"That's why we have GPS," Baekhyun shoots back. "And I know the neighborhood."
"I'm not that drunk anyway," Jongdae puts in, though from how slurred his words are, Baekhyun's not too sure that's true. To Junmyeon, he adds, "It's fine, hyung." Junmyeon still looks skeptical, but he lets them go after Jongdae promises to text once he's home safely.
"So," Baekhyun says once they're alone, "You wanted to talk to me?" Jongdae's still unsteady, so he puts an arm around him as they start to walk.
"Yeah." There's a long pause before Jongdae continues, "I'm glad you came. I wasn't sure you would."
"Why wouldn't I?" Baekhyun asks lightly.
"I don't know." Baekhyun's not looking at him, but he thinks Jongdae sounds a little sad. "You've turned me down so many times. I thought maybe there was a reason you didn't want to see me."
"Don't be silly," Baekhyun says, ignoring the little voice in his head that says Jongdae's not entirely wrong. "I like you."
Jongdae stops walking abruptly so he can turn to Baekhyun, who somewhat reluctantly meets his eyes. "I know it didn't mean anything," he blurts out.
"What?" Baekhyun can guess what "it" he's referring to, but he doesn't understand why Jongdae's bringing it up like this.
"You know," Jongdae says. Then, as if Baekhyun needs the clarification, "All that sex."
"Okay?" Baekhyun frowns, confused. If anything, this conversation should be happening the other way around, because Baekhyun knows Jongdae isn't gay, that he was just looking for a distraction. Baekhyun's the one who can't quite seem to let it go even though he knows he should.
And then Jongdae kisses him, right there in the middle of the sidewalk with people walking past them. It takes a few seconds for Baekhyun's brain to catch up, but then he pushes Jongdae away. "What are you doing?" he demands.
Jongdae's face falls and his shoulders droop. "Sorry. Never mind."
"Wait, I..." Baekhyun frowns. "You can't just do that in public." He grabs Jongdae's wrist to pull him along as he starts walking again, and Jongdae stumbles after him.
They don't say another word on the way to Jongdae's apartment, out of character for both of them. Baekhyun's thoughts are racing, trying to figure out what's going on, why Jongdae kissed him, but he doesn't get it. This is way too complicated, and Baekhyun has never liked complications.
He doesn't look at Jongdae until they're inside, and when he does, he finds him still drooping, a (kind of adorable) pout on his face. "So." Baekhyun swallows down that same tight feeling in his chest he had when he agreed to come to Jongdae's party and does his best not to think about what it means. "That kissing thing."
Jongdae walks over to the couch and flops down at one end, so Baekhyun takes the other. Jongdae looks down at his hands, tapping out a pattern on his thighs. An image springs to Baekhyun's mind unbidden of Jongdae's bare thighs, and he remembers how the hard muscle in them felt under his lips. He knows he shouldn't think about that anymore, or at least not about wanting to feel it again, but Jongdae's right there and he kissed Baekhyun before and it's impossible to push the thought aside.
The silence stretches out long enough that Baekhyun is about to say something just to break the tension, but finally Jongdae says, "I know we were just having fun. It was fun, and...right after getting dumped by my fiancée is obviously not a good time to meet anyone new, and you said you weren't looking for anything either. And I mean, I'd never even kissed a guy before and I didn't think I wanted to, and...I don't know, but I can't stop thinking about you." It comes out all in a rush, slurred enough that it's obvious Jongdae is still a long way from sober.
Baekhyun frowns, feeling like he's definitely not sober enough for this either. "You...what?"
"I don't know," Jongdae whines. It sounds pathetic, but also kind of adorable. "I just wanted to try kissing you again, to see if I made too big a deal out of it in my head or if it was really...something."
"And?" Baekhyun asks immediately, too drunk to hold back.
Jongdae looks at him for a few long seconds, then back down. "I don't know. You barely let me do it."
Baekhyun has to laugh a little at that. "I don't know if you make a habit of kissing your girlfriends in public, but you've got to be a little more careful with guys."
"Yeah, I don't usually do that," Jongdae says sheepishly. "I guess I'm drunk."
"No shit," Baekhyun says dryly. Then, a little more serious, "You shouldn't do that, but...in here it's okay."
Jongdae meets his eyes again and Baekhyun can see that he looks nervous, even as drunk as he is. It's awkward, so he grins disarmingly and teases, "Come on, it's not like it's our first kiss."
"Not even close," Jongdae agrees. He sounds gruff, but more like himself. He moves across the couch until he's kneeling next to Baekhyun and, with only a brief hesitation, leans in to kiss him.
For Baekhyun, there's no question that this is something, at least in the sense that he likes kissing guys, and more specifically likes kissing Jongdae. He lets Jongdae call the shots, which gets him Jongdae's tongue in his mouth and his hands fisted in Baekhyun's shirt. It seems that Jongdae has come to a similar conclusion about kissing because he doesn't pull away, just kisses deep and hard.
They've been at it for a while when Jongdae's hands start to fumble with the buttons on Baekhyun's shirt and it becomes clear that it's not just kissing he wants. Much like their first time, Baekhyun should probably hold back, should probably ask Jongdae if he's really sure about this, but he can't. He's refused to admit it to himself in the months since he came back to Seoul because he doesn't like to get attached, but he's missed this. He's missed Jongdae's kisses and touches, missed Jongdae wrapped around him and pushing inside of him. Given an opportunity to have that again, he can't say no.
They move to Jongdae's bed, and Baekhyun doesn't tease him about having condoms and lube on hand because he's afraid of breaking the moment, afraid of giving Jongdae a chance to change his mind. He just lets Jongdae stretch him open a little too quickly and fuck him into the mattress, both of them probably making more noise than they should. Jongdae's not at his most coordinated, but it's still good, and Baekhyun closes his eyes and pretends they're back on the ship where everything was simpler. It's easy to get lost in it, and when he comes, he doesn't think about anything except for how good it feels.
Baekhyun wakes up in Jongdae's bed, naked, hungover and alone. The first part he doesn't mind, but the other two he's experienced together too many times and he can't say he's a fan. It feels especially bad today because it's not some random one-night stand who left him while he was asleep but Jongdae, who is...Baekhyun's not sure what, exactly, but at this point he has to admit that Jongdae's more than just an easily-forgotten vacation fling.
He spends a few seconds moping about that before he remembers that this is Jongdae's apartment, so he can't have just gone home. Sure enough, once Baekhyun manages to roll out of bed and put on pants and open the bedroom door, he finds Jongdae sitting and staring into space, his hands wrapped around a cup of coffee. He doesn't look at Baekhyun, but he says a quiet, "Good morning," uncharacteristically muted.
"Morning," Baekhyun chirps, more cheerfully than he feels. "Got any more of that?" He gestures at Jongdae's cup as he takes the other chair.
Jongdae looks startled, which is probably a sign he's not entirely awake yet. "Sure." He gets up and pours another cup, handing it back to Baekhyun still without looking at him. When he sits down again, he lets out a loud sigh and starts, "So—"
"We can talk after I drink some coffee," Baekhyun cuts in.
That gets a hint of a smile from Jongdae, at least. "Okay."
They sit in silence for a few minutes. Baekhyun's impulse is to chatter, but it feels weird after he just stopped Jongdae from talking, so he just sits and fidgets as he drinks his coffee. He's not feeling much more awake or less hungover after a few minutes, but he can't stand the tense silence, so he abruptly asks, "How was it?"
"How was what?" Jongdae asks, confused. "Do you mean...?"
Baekhyun laughs, part amused and part the kind of too loud laugh he does when things are awkward. "I'm not asking if I was a good lay. You said you wanted to see how things were between us now."
Jongdae smiles ruefully. "Oh, right." Another sigh. "Considering what happened after I kissed you, I'd say the answer is pretty obvious."
"That's true," Baekhyun agrees, though part of him just wants to scream, "And?!"
He restrains himself, waiting until Jongdae says, "I'm sorry. You probably didn't want to get yourself tangled up in something like this."
"What?" It's Baekhyun's turn to be confused now.
"You just wanted some fun and now I'm making it all complicated." There's just a moment of hesitation before he asks, "Right?" like he's not sure he wants to hear the answer. He doesn't even give Baekhyun a chance to respond before he continues, "I got the impression you were avoiding me until yesterday, and I can't really blame you. If you just want me to leave you alone, I will, but I'd like it if we could at least still be friends. I—"
"Do I get to talk?" Baekhyun interrupts. It's usually him going on and on like this, not the other way around.
Jongdae flashes him a sheepish grimace. "Sorry. I'm doing the nervous rambling thing."
"I noticed," Baekhyun says dryly. Now that it's his turn to talk, though, he realizes he doesn't know what to say. Or, more accurately, he knows what to say, but he's scared to say it. He was telling the truth when he assured Jongdae he wasn't the commitment type, back at the beginning, but it seems like he and Jongdae both got more attached than they intended to. Does that mean this could really go somewhere? Is he up for that?
Apparently he spends too long thinking because Jongdae waves a hand in front of his face. "Hello?"
"Sorry." Baekhyun chews at his lip while he works up the courage to say, "I was avoiding you." Jongdae frowns uncertainly, like he's not sure if he should be upset. "I don't know why, but..." He laughs awkwardly. "Maybe I do know. You know, I haven't slept with the same person for three weeks straight in forever. I thought it would just be a fun fling, and it was, but then..."
He can see the flicker of uncertain hope in Jongdae's eyes. "Then what?"
"We were good together. And I thought that once you went back to your normal life where you don't sleep with people like me, that'd be the end of it, but then you had to go and kiss me and now...I don't know anymore. I know how to do flings. I don't know how to do...whatever this is, especially not with guys who think they're straight and until recently were engaged."
"Well, I can't say I think I'm entirely straight anymore, and it's been almost six months, so I'm probably out of the rebound stage." Jongdae's smiling now, still a little hesitant, but steady. "Are you that scared of commitment?" he teases.
"It's hard," Baekhyun whines, but underneath, he's thinking about how it's really not hard with Jongdae, recent complications aside. He's easy to talk to, a good match in interests and not put off by Baekhyun's endless chattering. Surprisingly enough all things considered, they're a good match in bed too, Jongdae keeping up with Baekhyun in terms of energy and willingness to try new things, and Baekhyun likes how Jongdae is nice but not sappy. They really do fit well together, and that's why Baekhyun's gotten in a lot deeper than he expected.
Jongdae laughs, but when he speaks again, he's serious. "If you don't want to go anywhere with this, I understand. But if it's just about being scared...hey, you taught me a lot about being with a guy, and just about letting go. In exchange, I'll teach you how to be with the same person for a lot more than three weeks." Baekhyun opens his mouth but Jongdae immediately adds, "If you make a joke about my last relationship, I'll throw my coffee in your face."
"Got it," Baekhyun says dryly.
Jongdae's still smiling, so it doesn't seem like he's really mad. "Granted, if there's anything I learned from that relationship, it's that you never know what'll happen, but we can at least try? We can take it slow, but I'd really like it if we could try and see where this goes."
It's not any less scary now, but Baekhyun would be lying if he said he didn't want to try. If Jongdae's this ready to give a chance to a relationship that's different than anything he's had before, a relationship that he must know has its inherent complications, what excuse does Baekhyun have to chicken out? "Okay. Let's give it a try."
Jongdae positively beams in response, his eyes crinkling up into nothing, and Baekhyun lets go of his lingering fear and smiles back. They don't know what'll happen, but he has a feeling that this is going to be good.
Epilogue
Two weeks before their wedding (not legally binding, but still an official commitment as far as they're concerned), Baekhyun comes home from work with flowers for Jongdae. It's not like him to make that sort of gesture, so Jongdae looks surprised as he gets up to accept the bouquet and a kiss. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" he asks.
"I wanted to tell you that I love you," Baekhyun says. Jongdae eyes him warily, waiting for the punch line; he knows Baekhyun too well to think it's that simple. "I love you, and also I'm in love with you, so you damn well better marry me in two weeks."
Jongdae rolls his eyes so hard Baekhyun's surprised they don't fall out of his head. "If these flowers weren't so pretty, I'd throw them at you."
"You know you love me." Baekhyun grins, pleased with the reaction.
"I do," Jongdae agrees. "Even when you're an ass." He holds the flowers to the side and grabs Baekhyun's tie to pull him in for another kiss. "So you'd better mean what you said."
"Of course," Baekhyun says lightly, easily, because he's long since learned to stop being scared of how much he loves Jongdae. "Remember how you taught me all about commitment? You're never getting rid of me now."
Jongdae grins and kisses him one more time. "I wouldn't dream of trying."
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Date: 2015-05-03 07:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-05-05 12:19 pm (UTC)