Xiuhaaaaaaaaan
Oct. 17th, 2015 08:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sparklepoxTitle: Perfect
Pairing: Xiumin/Luhan
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 4340
Warnings: mention of body image/weight issues, dirty talk, sappy talk
Summary: Minseok will never understand the way Lu Han looks at him.
Author's Notes: Thanks to Jenn and to everyone who encouraged me on Twitter!
Lu Han's lips are soft on Minseok's skin, fluttering over his neck and up the sensitive underside of his jaw. Lu Han's hands come up to his cheeks as he lifts his head to kiss Minseok's lips, the tip of his nose. "What are you doing?" Minseok asks gruffly, not because he minds but because Lu Han is looking down at him with such undisguised affection in his eyes that he doesn't know what to do with it.
"I'm kissing you," Lu Han murmurs, punctuating the sentence with a kiss below Minseok's eye. "I'm kissing you a lot." Another kiss on the bridge of his nose.
"And here I thought we were having sex," Minseok mutters. They're heading in that direction, or they were, but Lu Han got sidetracked once their shirts came off, seemingly wanting to kiss every inch of Minseok's skin.
"We are, but later. First, I need to do this. You're too perfect for me to not want to kiss you all over." He sounds a little playful, but stubborn, and Minseok doesn't doubt that he'll follow through.
"I'm not perfect," he grumbles. It's a reflexive response, but he means it. He's many things, but perfect is not one of them. As far as he's concerned, his body is an awfully long way from perfect.
"You are." Lu Han kisses him on the mouth again, hands gently cupping his jaw. "Absolutely perfect." It's not like Lu Han to be so cheesy, not so much as a hint of joking or embarrassment in his voice, but he seems to be in that kind of mood, and Minseok doubts arguing will make a difference.
Lu Han drifts down again, pressing his hands and his mouth all over Minseok's bare chest and stomach, sucking a mark just below Minseok's collarbone and flicking his nipples with his tongue. It makes Minseok self-conscious because his stomach isn't flat like Lu Han's or sharply muscled like Changmin-hyung's. It's soft and unappealing and he doesn't understand why Lu Han seems to be enjoying brushing his lips over it.
"You know," Lu Han murmurs distractedly, running his hands down Minseok's sides, "If I could, I'd never stop touching you. Just kiss you and touch you and hold you tight all the time. Your body is just so...I don't know, but I always want you so bad."
His lips are on Minseok again the second he finishes talking so he probably doesn't see the way Minseok's cheeks flush, how he's embarrassed and disbelieving but pleased at the same time. It's too much, really, but it's nice all the same.
Eventually, Lu Han moves back up and kisses Minseok deep and long. When he finally pulls away, he looks down at Minseok, his eyes sparkling with, if anything, more affection than before. "Let me make you feel good. I'll make it so good for you, I promise, please." He's practically begging and Minseok doesn't understand, but he nods without having to think about it. He trusts Lu Han.
"Okay." Lu Han's hands immediately move to unbutton his jeans and tug them off. "I want to see you," he says as he sets about undressing Minseok. "I want to see all of you."
Minseok doesn't really want him to. It's silly when Lu Han's seen him naked plenty of times before, but it's one thing when they're busy kissing and touching and so on and another when all of Lu Han's attention is focused on him like this. He doesn't need Lu Han staring at him long enough to see all his imperfections. But Lu Han will just make a fuss if he says that, so he keeps his mouth shut and hopes it'll be okay.
Once he's naked, Lu Han runs his hands over Minseok's thighs down to his knees, then pokes his left calf just below his knee, a smile breaking through his captivated expression. "What are you doing?" Minseok asks.
"Your legs are really nice," Lu Han tells him. "So strong."
"Strong" Minseok can't argue with. He's always been strong, even when he was a chubby little boy. But "strong" isn't "hot" or "sexy" or "handsome." It doesn't explain the way Lu Han's still looking at him, even with that little smile on his face.
His expression softens almost imperceptibly and Minseok wonders if, even though they've never talked about it, Lu Han knows that he feels inadequate sometimes, that sometimes he still feels like that awkward, overweight kid who everyone liked but no one wanted to date instead of the less awkward, less overweight adult who can't understand why someone like Lu Han who could have anyone he wants is interested in him.
In any case, Lu Han doesn't comment, just bends down to suck a mark on Minseok's thigh, then press a few kisses higher up and one on the sensitive back of Minseok's knee. "I'd like to mark you all over," he says as he moves his attention to Minseok's other leg. "Make sure anyone could look and see that you're mine, all mine. Or maybe not even for anyone else to see, just so I can know you're mine." After a beat, he adds, "I want you to be mine forever."
"You think I'm going somewhere?" Minseok teases.
"I don't know," Lu Han tells Minseok's inner thigh. "Someone else might snatch you up."
Minseok scoffs at that and now Lu Han looks up and frowns like he honestly doesn't understand Minseok's reaction. "Minseok, do you even...? Don't tell me you don't think anyone else would want you."
Minseok shrugs so he doesn't have to answer. It's not that he thinks no one would want him, but he hardly thinks Lu Han needs to worry about anyone snatching him away. He does trust that Lu Han loves him, but he's not such a catch.
Lu Han doesn't push, but he stays serious. "I mean it, you know. Everything I said tonight, I mean it. I know we don't—I don't say much usually, but you have to know how I feel."
"Yes, I know," Minseok says gruffly, just trying to get Lu Han to move on. "You have a lot of feelings tonight."
"I always have a lot of feelings," Lu Han says, followed by an adorably sheepish grimace as he thinks about what he said. "I just mean...I love you, you know? And I think you're really..." He can't seem to find the words, but it's written all over his face, the way thinks Minseok hung the moon. It feels good, but it's also scary, because what if he stops thinking like that? What if he realizes that Minseok's not really as special as he thought? That'll hurt more than no one thinking so highly of him in the first place.
Lu Han's still looking at him like he's expecting something, but after a few long moments, he just dips his head to Minseok's leg again. Minseok loses track of his worries as Lu Han's mouth finds its way to his cock, half hard but not all the way there yet. Lu Han licks a strip up the underside and Minseok shivers, gasps in a sharp breath.
"Minseok," Lu Han murmurs, so close his lips brush the crown of Minseok's cock. Minseok doesn't know if he's doing it on purpose or if he's so caught up in the moment that he doesn't notice. "I'm going to make you feel so good. So good you can't think about anything but me." His voice is soft and so full of the same feelings Minseok can see every time Lu Han looks at him. They don't make sense to him, but he can't deny that they're there.
He's glad that Lu Han doesn't seem to expect a response. He sucks Minseok down without another word, slow but focused, eyes flicking up to Minseok's face to see how this is affecting him. Minseok thinks about putting on a show, but he doesn't think that's what Lu Han wants. He really just wants to make Minseok fall apart, with no artifice to it, and it's only fair to give him that.
It's not as if he has to pretend. Lu Han's mouth is tight around him and even at this angle, Minseok can see his long eyelashes fluttering, his pink lips pursed, his hair falling into his sparkling eyes. Lu Han is so perfect, and maybe that's why it's still hard for Minseok to wrap his head around the fact that Lu Han is his. Of course he's awkward sometimes, and stubborn and clingy, but he's so beautiful and he cares so much that Minseok has no idea what he did to deserve him.
His thoughts stutter to a halt as Lu Han takes him in deep, hands light on Minseok's hips, warm and gentle. Lu Han can't say anything like this, which is probably for the best, but he's still watching Minseok, too aware of his every reaction. He watches as Minseok lets out an involuntary moan, head tipping back. Minseok grabs at the sheets and then at Lu Han's hair, feeling it soft between his fingers.
He doesn't know how much time passes like this, seconds or minutes or hours, but he finds himself moaning louder, one hand clenched in Lu Han's hair and the other clutching at the sheets. It's so slow it's almost painful, the careful drag of Lu Han's lips and tongue, but he also doesn't want it to ever end. Like this, caught up in the moment, it's easier not to think about anything except the delightful torture of Lu Han's mouth and how very much he loves Lu Han.
In spite of the slow pace, the feeling builds, coiling tightly in his gut. Minseok doesn't say anything, but he's loud enough now that Lu Han must know he's close. He swallows Minseok down deep without warning, all the way back into his throat, and Minseok cries out in surprised pleasure, hurtling toward the edge. It only takes a little more after that, Lu Han's tongue sending him into a rush of pleasure that makes his toes curl and his back arch. "Fuck, Lu Han, yes," Minseok groans out, blending into a deep moan.
Lu Han sucks him through it and swallows everything down before pulling off with an emphatic pop, a smug grin on his face. Minseok's hand falls from Lu Han's hair to the sheets as he sprawls out on the bed, deliciously spent. His eyelids flutter, but he doesn't miss the way Lu Han's expression shifts from smug to fond to outright adoring. It makes him want to squirm, cover his face with his hands, maybe even run away because the full force of Lu Han's affection for him is overwhelming.
He doesn't do any of that, but he does look away from Lu Han's face. He doesn't know what reaction to expect, in this mood Lu Han's in tonight, so he just waits. Lu Han doesn't comment, but he lies down next to Minseok, leaning over him and cupping his cheek with a gentle hand as he kisses him. It's so soft compared to what Lu Han was just doing, tender, and it's not unusual from Lu Han, but tonight, somehow, it almost feels like too much.
Minseok puts a hand on Lu Han's chest to hold him back briefly. "Lu Han, don't you want to—"
He doesn't get past that because Lu Han leans in for another kiss anyway. "Not yet," he murmurs. "I want you, but not yet."
Minseok doesn't try to fight any further. He likes kissing Lu Han, and with his body still tingling from the aftereffects of orgasm, he feels too good to care about anything beyond that for long. He opens his mouth to Lu Han, lets him press his tongue inside like he really wants to explore every bit of Minseok's body that he can reach. Minseok's arms slowly shift to wrap around Lu Han's back, then pull him in close. He's hard, or getting there, but he still seems surprisingly content to stay like this for now.
For his part, Minseok is content to kiss like this, messy and deep, with Lu Han's body flush against his. He just might be content to stay like this forever, because whatever Lu Han may think about other people waiting in the wings to steal him away, he doesn't want to go anywhere. He loves Lu Han and he's happy with him and that's what matters most, isn't it?
It's not until Minseok shifts, his leg sliding between Lu Han's, that Lu Han falters, letting out a low moan without breaking the kiss. He's definitely hard now, and Minseok deliberately rubs his thigh against Lu Han's erection. He's been letting Lu Han call the shots tonight, but that doesn't mean he can't make suggestions. "What do you want?" Minseok murmurs, right up against Lu Han's lips. "Do you want me to suck you off?"
A little shiver runs through Lu Han at his words, but he makes a soft sound of denial. His voice dips down deep as he says, "I want to come inside you. Want to stretch you open nice and slow and get you hard again and fuck you till we're both a mess and come with you squeezing me tight as you scream."
It's not fair to say such dirty things in such a soft, almost tender voice, like it's no different from his earlier compliments or feelings. It's Minseok's turn to shiver at the jolt of desire that goes right between his legs, making him think he'll be ready for another round soon enough. Lu Han notices, his lips quirking up, but this close, Minseok can't tell if it's a smirk or a kinder sort of smile.
In any case, Minseok kisses it off Lu Han's face as he rolls over him, reaching blindly for the lube. He puts it in Lu Han's hand, but Lu Han makes no move to use it, instead groaning, "Wait, Minseok." Minseok lifts his head, and Lu Han says, "Get off." Once Minseok moves, he explains, a little sheepish, "I won't last like that."
Minseok has to smile at that. This feels like more familiar, comfortable territory. "Wouldn't want to ruin your plans."
He doesn't get to tease for long, not when Lu Han gets him on his back with his legs drawn up and Lu Han's slick fingers brushing over sensitive skin. Lu Han's quiet when he presses the first finger in, but once he's satisfied that Minseok's okay with it, his lips find their way onto Minseok's skin again, feathering kisses along along the side of his knee, his thigh, in sharp contrast to the movement of his finger inside of Minseok.
He's not rushing, which is surprising given that Lu Han's not usually one to be patient when Minseok's already come and he's still waiting. Still, he seems determined to follow through on his words, to take it slow so Minseok will be good and ready for him. He shifts to suck a fresh mark on Minseok's thigh, lingering for a long time as he works a second finger into him. Lu Han's nimble fingers are working their magic, making Minseok's cock start to twitch with renewed interest, and he's sure Lu Han can hear the way his breath catches.
Lu Han doesn't start talking again until he's got a third finger pressed into Minseok. When he does, his voice is low and rough, telling Minseok this is doing a lot to him too. "I can't wait to feel you. Make you fall apart. Make it so you can't think about anyone except me." He tentatively strokes Minseok's cock, and Minseok cries out softly, sensitive but also turned on and wanting more. He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, then opens them to Lu Han watching him closely again.
He can't seem to look away, eyes locked with Lu Han's even as Lu Han's fingers stretch him wide. Lu Han's eyes are dark and hungry and it makes heat rise in Minseok's cheeks and desire curl in his belly. Lu Han must be getting desperate, but he's not rushing, determined to follow through on his words, to push Minseok all the way to the edge and make it good for both of them. It shouldn't surprise Minseok, really, and it doesn't exactly, but there's a feeling building in Minseok's chest that he doesn't look at too closely but thinks he likes.
Only when Lu Han gives his cock a firmer stroke does Minseok close his eyes, arching into the touch. He's starting to get hard again and it shouldn't be too much longer before he's ready to go. Lu Han's fingers are moving just right inside of him, crooking to send sparks dancing down his nerves. He's too good at that, too good at doing things that make Minseok let his guard down and forget what he looks like and what he sounds like and everything else except how good it feels. He doesn't think Lu Han is judging him—it's not like he has room to judge with the faces he makes—but it's still scary to let go so completely, even after all this time.
In any case, his control is crumbling under Lu Han's touch, gasps and soft moans escaping him. He half expects Lu Han to start rushing now, to decide that this is good enough to move on, but it doesn't happen. Lu Han keeps moving his fingers in and out and around and keeps stroking Minseok just enough to get him going. This time when Minseok opens his eyes, Lu Han isn't looking right at him but down, and he's biting his lip, focused. The expression would be cute under other circumstances, but right now, it's hot, the intensity of Lu Han's concentration.
Lu Han doesn't give in until Minseok's good and hard, finally letting out a groan that shows his impatience as he pulls his hands away. Minseok turns over on his hands and knees as Lu Han grabs a condom and then moves behind him. His hands find Minseok's hips before he pushes in slowly enough to make them both moan. It's a delicious torture, that gradual stretch as Lu Han starts to move at a similarly slow pace, like he could do this all night.
"Minseok." Lu Han's wavering voice says otherwise, but he doesn't falter, hips working steadily. "Minseok, talk to me. Is it good?"
Minseok doesn't really like dirty talk, but he can make an exception given how hard Lu Han has tried to make him feel good tonight. "Yeah." His own voice is significantly less steady than Lu Han's. "It's good. It feels good. You feel really good inside of me."
The moan Lu Han lets out in response is so soft Minseok almost misses it, but he not quite. That spurs him on, hearing what his words are doing to Lu Han. "You're so good with your fingers and it—it made me want you really bad, want to—fuck, I don't know how you're going so slow. Don't you want more?"
Lu Han lets out a shaky laugh. "Of course I do. But I told you what I want to do, didn't I?"
"What's gotten into you tonight?" Minseok asks, only half teasing.
Lu Han doesn't answer right away, instead bending forward until he's draped across Minseok's back. Minseok goes down to his elbows so Lu Han can plant his hands on either side of him, and Lu Han presses a kiss to the back of his neck and then his shoulder. Minseok's almost forgotten he asked a question by the time Lu Han murmurs, right by his ear, "I love you. I just—" For the first time tonight, he hesitates, before concluding, "I love you, that's all."
It's so intimate with Lu Han's lips brushing Minseok's ear, his chest against Minseok's back and his hips still moving to rock into him. It makes Minseok's cheeks flush and his heart constrict as he wonders what the hell he did to get himself someone who loves him as much as Lu Han does. He still can't quite wrap his head around the intensity of Lu Han's affection, or understand where it comes from.
He can't focus on that because even with the slow pace of Lu Han's movements, Minseok's wound up enough after the first round for it to turn his legs to jelly and his thoughts into a jumbled mess. He thinks about that instead, the pleasure dancing up his spine and the solid warmth of Lu Han's body against his, his breath harsh and loud in Minseok's ear. Lu Han goes quiet again except for that, but Minseok can hear every little gasp and moan with him so close.
Lu Han is stubbornly slow about picking up the pace, but he does little by little, pressing nice and deep with every thrust, making Minseok's body hum. He's moaning and his impulse is to muffle the sound, but he doesn't, letting Lu Han hear what this is doing to him. A particularly well-aimed thrust makes him cry out, and he trembles when Lu Han's lips brush his neck again and again, his skin feeling charged all over.
"Touch me, Lu Han," he begs, and Lu Han shifts back so he can do that. The first touch makes Minseok cry out again and Lu Han groan at the clench of his muscles, but then they settle into a rhythm, still slow, but feeling like it's going somewhere now. He can't see Lu Han to know how far gone he is, but he hears him get louder and feels it when his movements stutter.
Lu Han said he wanted to make a mess of both of them and he seems to be succeeding with Minseok, who slumps further and further down as the sensations overwhelm him. It feels so good, but his body is screaming for more. Lu Han must want it even more, and he has started moving faster, but it's still not quite enough. He does seem to be running out of patience, though, and his thrusts get harder and faster still.
Just when Minseok is starting to feel like he's getting close, Lu Han abruptly pulls out, drawing a groan of protest from Minseok. "Turn over," Lu Han says, and Minseok does quickly and without question. He doesn't care how Lu Han wants to do this as long as he gets to come soon. When he rolls onto his back, he's happy to see that Lu Han looks pretty wrecked, flushed down to his chest, his pupils blown wide.
Lu Han wastes no time pushing Minseok's legs up and pushing into him. He seems to finally be at his limit, bending Minseok at the waist and thrusting sharply. Minseok reaches to touch himself and Lu Han doesn't object, only watches hungrily. Finally, he breathes out, "Come. Let me hear you."
It takes a little longer to get there, but when Minseok's orgasm hits him, intense after the long wait, he doesn't hold back. It's not quite the scream Lu Han was looking for, but he cries out as he writhes around on the bed, just barely aware of Lu Han watching him. His moments drive Lu Han over the edge too, his moans blending with Minseok's as he pulses inside of him, thrusting a few more times to give them both every last bit of pleasure they can get.
Minseok feels satisfyingly spent when it's over, his body limp, his eyes drifting shut. Lu Han pulls out and drops a kiss near Minseok's ankle before letting his legs down gently. Minseok stays where he is as Lu Han gets up, and even when he comes back, the bed shifting under his weight. "Minseok?"
There's something in Lu Han's voice that makes Minseok sit up quickly despite his weariness. He meets Lu Han's eyes and is shocked to see uncertainty there, insecurity. He stares for a moment, doubting his eyes, but then he reflexively reaches for Lu Han and pulls him into a hug. Lu Han is tense at first, but he relaxes in Minseok's arms.
"I'm sorry if I got too intense for you tonight," he murmurs. He sounds worried, like he thinks he's messed up, and that's not right. After he tried so hard to make Minseok feel good, to show how much he cares, he shouldn't think he did anything wrong. "It's just that I don't understand—"
"I love you," Minseok cuts in, not to stop Lu Han from speaking but because he doesn't want him to feel bad anymore when he has no reason to. "I should have said that before, when you said it."
"You don't have to—" Lu Han starts to protest, pulling back to look at Minseok.
"No, I don't. But..." Minseok pauses, searching for the right words and the confidence to say them. "I don't know what the hell you see in me that makes you so...intense, but you don't have to be sorry. I love you. And I don't know if you meant what you said earlier, but I'm not going anywhere. I..." He says it one more time for good measure, to match the number of times Lu Han told him the same thing tonight, "I love you."
Lu Han seems to have run out of words after saying so much more than he usually does, but he smiles, soft and a little sad, and kisses Minseok. When he pulls away, Minseok says, "Thank you," not sure what it's for but knowing that Lu Han deserves to hear it. Without waiting for a response, he gives Lu Han one more quick peck and then gets to his feet. He stands by the bed just long enough to see Lu Han's expression transform into a bright, happy smile before he turns away, a matching smile on his own face.
Pairing: Xiumin/Luhan
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 4340
Warnings: mention of body image/weight issues, dirty talk, sappy talk
Summary: Minseok will never understand the way Lu Han looks at him.
Author's Notes: Thanks to Jenn and to everyone who encouraged me on Twitter!
Lu Han's lips are soft on Minseok's skin, fluttering over his neck and up the sensitive underside of his jaw. Lu Han's hands come up to his cheeks as he lifts his head to kiss Minseok's lips, the tip of his nose. "What are you doing?" Minseok asks gruffly, not because he minds but because Lu Han is looking down at him with such undisguised affection in his eyes that he doesn't know what to do with it.
"I'm kissing you," Lu Han murmurs, punctuating the sentence with a kiss below Minseok's eye. "I'm kissing you a lot." Another kiss on the bridge of his nose.
"And here I thought we were having sex," Minseok mutters. They're heading in that direction, or they were, but Lu Han got sidetracked once their shirts came off, seemingly wanting to kiss every inch of Minseok's skin.
"We are, but later. First, I need to do this. You're too perfect for me to not want to kiss you all over." He sounds a little playful, but stubborn, and Minseok doesn't doubt that he'll follow through.
"I'm not perfect," he grumbles. It's a reflexive response, but he means it. He's many things, but perfect is not one of them. As far as he's concerned, his body is an awfully long way from perfect.
"You are." Lu Han kisses him on the mouth again, hands gently cupping his jaw. "Absolutely perfect." It's not like Lu Han to be so cheesy, not so much as a hint of joking or embarrassment in his voice, but he seems to be in that kind of mood, and Minseok doubts arguing will make a difference.
Lu Han drifts down again, pressing his hands and his mouth all over Minseok's bare chest and stomach, sucking a mark just below Minseok's collarbone and flicking his nipples with his tongue. It makes Minseok self-conscious because his stomach isn't flat like Lu Han's or sharply muscled like Changmin-hyung's. It's soft and unappealing and he doesn't understand why Lu Han seems to be enjoying brushing his lips over it.
"You know," Lu Han murmurs distractedly, running his hands down Minseok's sides, "If I could, I'd never stop touching you. Just kiss you and touch you and hold you tight all the time. Your body is just so...I don't know, but I always want you so bad."
His lips are on Minseok again the second he finishes talking so he probably doesn't see the way Minseok's cheeks flush, how he's embarrassed and disbelieving but pleased at the same time. It's too much, really, but it's nice all the same.
Eventually, Lu Han moves back up and kisses Minseok deep and long. When he finally pulls away, he looks down at Minseok, his eyes sparkling with, if anything, more affection than before. "Let me make you feel good. I'll make it so good for you, I promise, please." He's practically begging and Minseok doesn't understand, but he nods without having to think about it. He trusts Lu Han.
"Okay." Lu Han's hands immediately move to unbutton his jeans and tug them off. "I want to see you," he says as he sets about undressing Minseok. "I want to see all of you."
Minseok doesn't really want him to. It's silly when Lu Han's seen him naked plenty of times before, but it's one thing when they're busy kissing and touching and so on and another when all of Lu Han's attention is focused on him like this. He doesn't need Lu Han staring at him long enough to see all his imperfections. But Lu Han will just make a fuss if he says that, so he keeps his mouth shut and hopes it'll be okay.
Once he's naked, Lu Han runs his hands over Minseok's thighs down to his knees, then pokes his left calf just below his knee, a smile breaking through his captivated expression. "What are you doing?" Minseok asks.
"Your legs are really nice," Lu Han tells him. "So strong."
"Strong" Minseok can't argue with. He's always been strong, even when he was a chubby little boy. But "strong" isn't "hot" or "sexy" or "handsome." It doesn't explain the way Lu Han's still looking at him, even with that little smile on his face.
His expression softens almost imperceptibly and Minseok wonders if, even though they've never talked about it, Lu Han knows that he feels inadequate sometimes, that sometimes he still feels like that awkward, overweight kid who everyone liked but no one wanted to date instead of the less awkward, less overweight adult who can't understand why someone like Lu Han who could have anyone he wants is interested in him.
In any case, Lu Han doesn't comment, just bends down to suck a mark on Minseok's thigh, then press a few kisses higher up and one on the sensitive back of Minseok's knee. "I'd like to mark you all over," he says as he moves his attention to Minseok's other leg. "Make sure anyone could look and see that you're mine, all mine. Or maybe not even for anyone else to see, just so I can know you're mine." After a beat, he adds, "I want you to be mine forever."
"You think I'm going somewhere?" Minseok teases.
"I don't know," Lu Han tells Minseok's inner thigh. "Someone else might snatch you up."
Minseok scoffs at that and now Lu Han looks up and frowns like he honestly doesn't understand Minseok's reaction. "Minseok, do you even...? Don't tell me you don't think anyone else would want you."
Minseok shrugs so he doesn't have to answer. It's not that he thinks no one would want him, but he hardly thinks Lu Han needs to worry about anyone snatching him away. He does trust that Lu Han loves him, but he's not such a catch.
Lu Han doesn't push, but he stays serious. "I mean it, you know. Everything I said tonight, I mean it. I know we don't—I don't say much usually, but you have to know how I feel."
"Yes, I know," Minseok says gruffly, just trying to get Lu Han to move on. "You have a lot of feelings tonight."
"I always have a lot of feelings," Lu Han says, followed by an adorably sheepish grimace as he thinks about what he said. "I just mean...I love you, you know? And I think you're really..." He can't seem to find the words, but it's written all over his face, the way thinks Minseok hung the moon. It feels good, but it's also scary, because what if he stops thinking like that? What if he realizes that Minseok's not really as special as he thought? That'll hurt more than no one thinking so highly of him in the first place.
Lu Han's still looking at him like he's expecting something, but after a few long moments, he just dips his head to Minseok's leg again. Minseok loses track of his worries as Lu Han's mouth finds its way to his cock, half hard but not all the way there yet. Lu Han licks a strip up the underside and Minseok shivers, gasps in a sharp breath.
"Minseok," Lu Han murmurs, so close his lips brush the crown of Minseok's cock. Minseok doesn't know if he's doing it on purpose or if he's so caught up in the moment that he doesn't notice. "I'm going to make you feel so good. So good you can't think about anything but me." His voice is soft and so full of the same feelings Minseok can see every time Lu Han looks at him. They don't make sense to him, but he can't deny that they're there.
He's glad that Lu Han doesn't seem to expect a response. He sucks Minseok down without another word, slow but focused, eyes flicking up to Minseok's face to see how this is affecting him. Minseok thinks about putting on a show, but he doesn't think that's what Lu Han wants. He really just wants to make Minseok fall apart, with no artifice to it, and it's only fair to give him that.
It's not as if he has to pretend. Lu Han's mouth is tight around him and even at this angle, Minseok can see his long eyelashes fluttering, his pink lips pursed, his hair falling into his sparkling eyes. Lu Han is so perfect, and maybe that's why it's still hard for Minseok to wrap his head around the fact that Lu Han is his. Of course he's awkward sometimes, and stubborn and clingy, but he's so beautiful and he cares so much that Minseok has no idea what he did to deserve him.
His thoughts stutter to a halt as Lu Han takes him in deep, hands light on Minseok's hips, warm and gentle. Lu Han can't say anything like this, which is probably for the best, but he's still watching Minseok, too aware of his every reaction. He watches as Minseok lets out an involuntary moan, head tipping back. Minseok grabs at the sheets and then at Lu Han's hair, feeling it soft between his fingers.
He doesn't know how much time passes like this, seconds or minutes or hours, but he finds himself moaning louder, one hand clenched in Lu Han's hair and the other clutching at the sheets. It's so slow it's almost painful, the careful drag of Lu Han's lips and tongue, but he also doesn't want it to ever end. Like this, caught up in the moment, it's easier not to think about anything except the delightful torture of Lu Han's mouth and how very much he loves Lu Han.
In spite of the slow pace, the feeling builds, coiling tightly in his gut. Minseok doesn't say anything, but he's loud enough now that Lu Han must know he's close. He swallows Minseok down deep without warning, all the way back into his throat, and Minseok cries out in surprised pleasure, hurtling toward the edge. It only takes a little more after that, Lu Han's tongue sending him into a rush of pleasure that makes his toes curl and his back arch. "Fuck, Lu Han, yes," Minseok groans out, blending into a deep moan.
Lu Han sucks him through it and swallows everything down before pulling off with an emphatic pop, a smug grin on his face. Minseok's hand falls from Lu Han's hair to the sheets as he sprawls out on the bed, deliciously spent. His eyelids flutter, but he doesn't miss the way Lu Han's expression shifts from smug to fond to outright adoring. It makes him want to squirm, cover his face with his hands, maybe even run away because the full force of Lu Han's affection for him is overwhelming.
He doesn't do any of that, but he does look away from Lu Han's face. He doesn't know what reaction to expect, in this mood Lu Han's in tonight, so he just waits. Lu Han doesn't comment, but he lies down next to Minseok, leaning over him and cupping his cheek with a gentle hand as he kisses him. It's so soft compared to what Lu Han was just doing, tender, and it's not unusual from Lu Han, but tonight, somehow, it almost feels like too much.
Minseok puts a hand on Lu Han's chest to hold him back briefly. "Lu Han, don't you want to—"
He doesn't get past that because Lu Han leans in for another kiss anyway. "Not yet," he murmurs. "I want you, but not yet."
Minseok doesn't try to fight any further. He likes kissing Lu Han, and with his body still tingling from the aftereffects of orgasm, he feels too good to care about anything beyond that for long. He opens his mouth to Lu Han, lets him press his tongue inside like he really wants to explore every bit of Minseok's body that he can reach. Minseok's arms slowly shift to wrap around Lu Han's back, then pull him in close. He's hard, or getting there, but he still seems surprisingly content to stay like this for now.
For his part, Minseok is content to kiss like this, messy and deep, with Lu Han's body flush against his. He just might be content to stay like this forever, because whatever Lu Han may think about other people waiting in the wings to steal him away, he doesn't want to go anywhere. He loves Lu Han and he's happy with him and that's what matters most, isn't it?
It's not until Minseok shifts, his leg sliding between Lu Han's, that Lu Han falters, letting out a low moan without breaking the kiss. He's definitely hard now, and Minseok deliberately rubs his thigh against Lu Han's erection. He's been letting Lu Han call the shots tonight, but that doesn't mean he can't make suggestions. "What do you want?" Minseok murmurs, right up against Lu Han's lips. "Do you want me to suck you off?"
A little shiver runs through Lu Han at his words, but he makes a soft sound of denial. His voice dips down deep as he says, "I want to come inside you. Want to stretch you open nice and slow and get you hard again and fuck you till we're both a mess and come with you squeezing me tight as you scream."
It's not fair to say such dirty things in such a soft, almost tender voice, like it's no different from his earlier compliments or feelings. It's Minseok's turn to shiver at the jolt of desire that goes right between his legs, making him think he'll be ready for another round soon enough. Lu Han notices, his lips quirking up, but this close, Minseok can't tell if it's a smirk or a kinder sort of smile.
In any case, Minseok kisses it off Lu Han's face as he rolls over him, reaching blindly for the lube. He puts it in Lu Han's hand, but Lu Han makes no move to use it, instead groaning, "Wait, Minseok." Minseok lifts his head, and Lu Han says, "Get off." Once Minseok moves, he explains, a little sheepish, "I won't last like that."
Minseok has to smile at that. This feels like more familiar, comfortable territory. "Wouldn't want to ruin your plans."
He doesn't get to tease for long, not when Lu Han gets him on his back with his legs drawn up and Lu Han's slick fingers brushing over sensitive skin. Lu Han's quiet when he presses the first finger in, but once he's satisfied that Minseok's okay with it, his lips find their way onto Minseok's skin again, feathering kisses along along the side of his knee, his thigh, in sharp contrast to the movement of his finger inside of Minseok.
He's not rushing, which is surprising given that Lu Han's not usually one to be patient when Minseok's already come and he's still waiting. Still, he seems determined to follow through on his words, to take it slow so Minseok will be good and ready for him. He shifts to suck a fresh mark on Minseok's thigh, lingering for a long time as he works a second finger into him. Lu Han's nimble fingers are working their magic, making Minseok's cock start to twitch with renewed interest, and he's sure Lu Han can hear the way his breath catches.
Lu Han doesn't start talking again until he's got a third finger pressed into Minseok. When he does, his voice is low and rough, telling Minseok this is doing a lot to him too. "I can't wait to feel you. Make you fall apart. Make it so you can't think about anyone except me." He tentatively strokes Minseok's cock, and Minseok cries out softly, sensitive but also turned on and wanting more. He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, then opens them to Lu Han watching him closely again.
He can't seem to look away, eyes locked with Lu Han's even as Lu Han's fingers stretch him wide. Lu Han's eyes are dark and hungry and it makes heat rise in Minseok's cheeks and desire curl in his belly. Lu Han must be getting desperate, but he's not rushing, determined to follow through on his words, to push Minseok all the way to the edge and make it good for both of them. It shouldn't surprise Minseok, really, and it doesn't exactly, but there's a feeling building in Minseok's chest that he doesn't look at too closely but thinks he likes.
Only when Lu Han gives his cock a firmer stroke does Minseok close his eyes, arching into the touch. He's starting to get hard again and it shouldn't be too much longer before he's ready to go. Lu Han's fingers are moving just right inside of him, crooking to send sparks dancing down his nerves. He's too good at that, too good at doing things that make Minseok let his guard down and forget what he looks like and what he sounds like and everything else except how good it feels. He doesn't think Lu Han is judging him—it's not like he has room to judge with the faces he makes—but it's still scary to let go so completely, even after all this time.
In any case, his control is crumbling under Lu Han's touch, gasps and soft moans escaping him. He half expects Lu Han to start rushing now, to decide that this is good enough to move on, but it doesn't happen. Lu Han keeps moving his fingers in and out and around and keeps stroking Minseok just enough to get him going. This time when Minseok opens his eyes, Lu Han isn't looking right at him but down, and he's biting his lip, focused. The expression would be cute under other circumstances, but right now, it's hot, the intensity of Lu Han's concentration.
Lu Han doesn't give in until Minseok's good and hard, finally letting out a groan that shows his impatience as he pulls his hands away. Minseok turns over on his hands and knees as Lu Han grabs a condom and then moves behind him. His hands find Minseok's hips before he pushes in slowly enough to make them both moan. It's a delicious torture, that gradual stretch as Lu Han starts to move at a similarly slow pace, like he could do this all night.
"Minseok." Lu Han's wavering voice says otherwise, but he doesn't falter, hips working steadily. "Minseok, talk to me. Is it good?"
Minseok doesn't really like dirty talk, but he can make an exception given how hard Lu Han has tried to make him feel good tonight. "Yeah." His own voice is significantly less steady than Lu Han's. "It's good. It feels good. You feel really good inside of me."
The moan Lu Han lets out in response is so soft Minseok almost misses it, but he not quite. That spurs him on, hearing what his words are doing to Lu Han. "You're so good with your fingers and it—it made me want you really bad, want to—fuck, I don't know how you're going so slow. Don't you want more?"
Lu Han lets out a shaky laugh. "Of course I do. But I told you what I want to do, didn't I?"
"What's gotten into you tonight?" Minseok asks, only half teasing.
Lu Han doesn't answer right away, instead bending forward until he's draped across Minseok's back. Minseok goes down to his elbows so Lu Han can plant his hands on either side of him, and Lu Han presses a kiss to the back of his neck and then his shoulder. Minseok's almost forgotten he asked a question by the time Lu Han murmurs, right by his ear, "I love you. I just—" For the first time tonight, he hesitates, before concluding, "I love you, that's all."
It's so intimate with Lu Han's lips brushing Minseok's ear, his chest against Minseok's back and his hips still moving to rock into him. It makes Minseok's cheeks flush and his heart constrict as he wonders what the hell he did to get himself someone who loves him as much as Lu Han does. He still can't quite wrap his head around the intensity of Lu Han's affection, or understand where it comes from.
He can't focus on that because even with the slow pace of Lu Han's movements, Minseok's wound up enough after the first round for it to turn his legs to jelly and his thoughts into a jumbled mess. He thinks about that instead, the pleasure dancing up his spine and the solid warmth of Lu Han's body against his, his breath harsh and loud in Minseok's ear. Lu Han goes quiet again except for that, but Minseok can hear every little gasp and moan with him so close.
Lu Han is stubbornly slow about picking up the pace, but he does little by little, pressing nice and deep with every thrust, making Minseok's body hum. He's moaning and his impulse is to muffle the sound, but he doesn't, letting Lu Han hear what this is doing to him. A particularly well-aimed thrust makes him cry out, and he trembles when Lu Han's lips brush his neck again and again, his skin feeling charged all over.
"Touch me, Lu Han," he begs, and Lu Han shifts back so he can do that. The first touch makes Minseok cry out again and Lu Han groan at the clench of his muscles, but then they settle into a rhythm, still slow, but feeling like it's going somewhere now. He can't see Lu Han to know how far gone he is, but he hears him get louder and feels it when his movements stutter.
Lu Han said he wanted to make a mess of both of them and he seems to be succeeding with Minseok, who slumps further and further down as the sensations overwhelm him. It feels so good, but his body is screaming for more. Lu Han must want it even more, and he has started moving faster, but it's still not quite enough. He does seem to be running out of patience, though, and his thrusts get harder and faster still.
Just when Minseok is starting to feel like he's getting close, Lu Han abruptly pulls out, drawing a groan of protest from Minseok. "Turn over," Lu Han says, and Minseok does quickly and without question. He doesn't care how Lu Han wants to do this as long as he gets to come soon. When he rolls onto his back, he's happy to see that Lu Han looks pretty wrecked, flushed down to his chest, his pupils blown wide.
Lu Han wastes no time pushing Minseok's legs up and pushing into him. He seems to finally be at his limit, bending Minseok at the waist and thrusting sharply. Minseok reaches to touch himself and Lu Han doesn't object, only watches hungrily. Finally, he breathes out, "Come. Let me hear you."
It takes a little longer to get there, but when Minseok's orgasm hits him, intense after the long wait, he doesn't hold back. It's not quite the scream Lu Han was looking for, but he cries out as he writhes around on the bed, just barely aware of Lu Han watching him. His moments drive Lu Han over the edge too, his moans blending with Minseok's as he pulses inside of him, thrusting a few more times to give them both every last bit of pleasure they can get.
Minseok feels satisfyingly spent when it's over, his body limp, his eyes drifting shut. Lu Han pulls out and drops a kiss near Minseok's ankle before letting his legs down gently. Minseok stays where he is as Lu Han gets up, and even when he comes back, the bed shifting under his weight. "Minseok?"
There's something in Lu Han's voice that makes Minseok sit up quickly despite his weariness. He meets Lu Han's eyes and is shocked to see uncertainty there, insecurity. He stares for a moment, doubting his eyes, but then he reflexively reaches for Lu Han and pulls him into a hug. Lu Han is tense at first, but he relaxes in Minseok's arms.
"I'm sorry if I got too intense for you tonight," he murmurs. He sounds worried, like he thinks he's messed up, and that's not right. After he tried so hard to make Minseok feel good, to show how much he cares, he shouldn't think he did anything wrong. "It's just that I don't understand—"
"I love you," Minseok cuts in, not to stop Lu Han from speaking but because he doesn't want him to feel bad anymore when he has no reason to. "I should have said that before, when you said it."
"You don't have to—" Lu Han starts to protest, pulling back to look at Minseok.
"No, I don't. But..." Minseok pauses, searching for the right words and the confidence to say them. "I don't know what the hell you see in me that makes you so...intense, but you don't have to be sorry. I love you. And I don't know if you meant what you said earlier, but I'm not going anywhere. I..." He says it one more time for good measure, to match the number of times Lu Han told him the same thing tonight, "I love you."
Lu Han seems to have run out of words after saying so much more than he usually does, but he smiles, soft and a little sad, and kisses Minseok. When he pulls away, Minseok says, "Thank you," not sure what it's for but knowing that Lu Han deserves to hear it. Without waiting for a response, he gives Lu Han one more quick peck and then gets to his feet. He stands by the bed just long enough to see Lu Han's expression transform into a bright, happy smile before he turns away, a matching smile on his own face.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2015-10-18 03:03 am (UTC)I LOVE YOU <3
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Date: 2015-10-18 04:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-18 04:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-18 04:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-18 04:19 am (UTC)NO.
"I want to see you," he says as he sets about undressing Minseok. "I want to see all of you."
NOPE.
ALL THE INSECURITIES MINSEOK HAS OH MY GOD I WANT TO HUG HIM AND STROKE HIS HAIR SOFTLY AND TELL HIM YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL I LOVE YOU YOU'RE NOT PERFECT AND IT'S PERFECTLY FINE YOU DON'T NEED TO BE PERFECT TO DESERVE ALL THE LOVES IN THE WORLD THANK YOU FOR EXISTING AND WOW I'M ACTUALLY TEARING UP GOOD JOB ILANA GOOD JOB I REALLY HATE YOU GOODBYE
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Date: 2015-10-18 04:36 am (UTC)♥
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Date: 2015-10-18 04:43 am (UTC)Recently I've been reading smut a lot less but I had to check out this one since it's yours (and because I really like your xiuhan ♥) and I definitely do not regret doing so, at all. It's pretty rare to come across a smutty fic that's so full of loveas this one. Luhan's feelings and dedication for Minseok are so beautiful, there aren't even words that could accurately describe it all. ♥♥♥
Thank you for sharing this, the fic is wonderful. ♥
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Date: 2015-10-19 04:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-18 08:47 am (UTC)"What are you doing?"
"I'm kissing you, I'm kissing you a lot." -and this was the line that had me glued to this fic. (╯°□°）╯︵┻━┻
I am so shit for sap and comfort and love and sweet talking and assurances and just everything cotton candy like i will give you diabetes ;A; this was a great little piece to start my day :'3 I hope you had as much fun withing this as I had clutching my chest and crooning at xiuhan ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
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Date: 2015-10-19 10:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-18 01:01 pm (UTC)lu han and his feelings are messing with my feelings, because i don't know if i should be smiling or crying. though i can probably manage both simultaneously. problem solved.
and minseok ;;; it always makes me sad because i think of what actual "exo fans" have said about his image during mama-era (and a little after)... i mean sure, he wasn't ripped back then, but he was no less lovely imo :(
i'm really glad you wrote this. you always handle complex issues so well.
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Date: 2015-10-19 10:47 pm (UTC)Thanks for commenting! <3
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Date: 2015-10-18 01:38 pm (UTC)Thank you for the beautiful read. Not sure if I've commented on your fics before (I did), but I love them all <3
And thank you for xiuhan T_T
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Date: 2015-10-19 10:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-18 07:04 pm (UTC)Dear Santa, please give me a Lu Han for Christmas this year T__T (or Minseok or both)
This (almost) overwhelming affection thing is so Lu Han *sighs*
I like the insecurity bits because it's not too much, not overdone at all, just perfectly right.
Ah, I love this <3
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Date: 2015-10-19 10:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-18 10:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-19 10:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-19 05:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-19 10:50 pm (UTC)Thanks for commenting! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and always happy to see Xiuhan love. :)
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Date: 2015-10-19 10:11 pm (UTC)Luhan is just so... ahjsgfkjhsdakgjhk <3 lmao
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Date: 2015-10-19 10:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-21 09:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-23 02:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-01-20 04:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-06-23 10:42 am (UTC)Thank you <3