How I spent January-April
Jun. 16th, 2014 06:40 pmTitle: Make Them Hear You
Pairing/Characters: Junmyeon/Jongdae, guest starring Baekhyun, Kyungsoo, et al.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 41,142
Summary: Perfectly ordinary Kim Junmyeon makes friends, grows up, and becomes an unlikely revolutionary.
Notes: Originally posted here. Big thanks to Linda and Gwynn for betaing and bearing with my flail, Annie for giving me the idea in the first place, and EO tlist for all the handholding. Title from this song.
Warnings: brief mind control, off-screen human experimentation, internment camps, hypothetical genocide (But I promise it's not as scary as it sounds! XD)
Prologue
Jongdae is only seven when the first of what will later be called Sirens are discovered, two teenage sisters who were perfectly normal until suddenly their voices began to affect people's minds. It happens halfway across the world in Spain, so he doesn't hear or think much about it. It's not until almost a year later when more have been found across Europe and the Americas and people are starting to get worried that he pays attention, and only then because his elementary school class cancels the choral performance they've been planning for the end of the school year.
He loves to sing, and all he understands is that he's not supposed to sing anymore, that nobody is supposed to sing anymore. He throws a tantrum over the performance that he's been looking forward to so much, and his mother, who has never raised a hand against him before, slaps him, shocking him into silence. "No more singing," she tells him in a voice that shakes. "You have to stop singing or bad things will happen to you."
For nearly a year and a half, no Sirens are found in Asia, and the Korean media speculates that maybe they'll be safe from this curse. Then one is found in Japan (a famous idol, causing a huge stir), and only two weeks later in Korea, and soon the only countries in the world that haven't discovered Sirens in their population are the ones that haven't looked.
Governments around the world urge caution but insist they're handling the situation. But as more and more people are found to have the power to control others with their voices, the fear gets too big for caution. Jongdae is almost nine when the first big attack happens, three Sirens participating in a research study murdered at a government facility in Australia. He's still young, but old enough now to understand better why his mother snaps at him when he forgets himself and hums.
It goes downhill fast after that. Sirens get angry, calling it a hate crime, and ordinary people get angrier, terrified as it becomes more and more clear that the Siren Issue isn't going to resolve itself. There are demonstrations all over the world, and the news is full of reports of Siren killings. Nobody sings anymore, or listens to music with so much as a hint of a human voice in it. A new era is dawning, and Jongdae watches it fearfully from his family's living room.
There are huge numbers of arrests, and new laws are passed, some nominally to protect Sirens, but most to protect everyone else against them. At first, they're small: bans against singing (as though everyone isn't already too scared of it), and mandatory screening of teenagers, since Siren abilities seem to manifest around puberty or within a few years after that. Then they get bigger, and finally, when Jongdae is ten, China becomes the first country to announce the resettlement of its entire Siren population to "isolation centers" in the countryside.
At first, the backlash is huge. Human rights groups are up in arms, saying that as long as Sirens are abiding by their countries' laws and not using their abilities to control anyone, governments have no right to put them into what sound an awful lot like jails or worse. But more and more Sirens are being discovered every day, and a few cases of them using their abilities to do harm make big news, and in time other countries begin to follow China's example.
South Korea establishes its first Siren community (a nicer name but no different in practice) at the beginning of 2004. Many people, among those unaffected by the law, are relieved, but many more are afraid. No one knows yet what makes someone a Siren, and anyone singled out by the screening could find themselves immediately whisked away. Jongdae sees the way his mother looks at him, remembering how much he loved to sing before the world stopped singing, and it makes him a little scared too.
But the years pass and Jongdae stays safe. The tests aren't foolproof—the ones Jongdae takes involve having him sing in front of a few people and evaluating the effect on them—but they're the best they have right now. Jongdae almost enjoys them because it's the only time he's ever allowed to sing, but only almost because people are wary of anyone who can sing well and he sees how the testers look at him with fear that's very different from his mother's.
He stays safe, that is, until the fall test in his last year of middle school. He waits in a line with his classmates, as he's done for years now, until it's his turn to go before the testers. He closes his eyes like he always does and sings the national anthem like he always does, but when he opens his eyes at the end like he always does, he sees something different.
All three testers are crying. Not just a little: tears are streaming down their cheeks, in spite of their shocked expressions. Jongdae takes a stumbling step back like he's been sucker punched because he's not a little kid anymore and he knows what this means. Then the door opens and he takes another step back as a guard comes in, but there's no escape. "Cover his mouth," the head tester says sharply, wiping the tears from her hardened eyes.
"I won't—" Jongdae starts to say, but then the guard's big hand is over his mouth and the rest of his protest is lost. He doesn't try to resist, feeling small and helpless in the much-larger guard's hold.
The guard drags him out of the room past his wide-eyed classmates and to a police car waiting outside the school. The police officers are wearing earplugs, but they cover his mouth with cloth anyway, uncomfortably tight. He's still too shocked to be scared, so he's mostly annoyed at the unnecessary discomfort. He hasn't become a criminal in the last ten minutes and there's no reason to treat him like one.
They drive him to the police station and put him into what seems to be some kind of holding room with three other scared-looking kids. There's a small boy who doesn't look nearly old enough to be a Siren and two girls sitting together with equally frightened looks on their faces. They're all gagged like him, the little boy constantly pulling at his to no effect.
There are no chairs, so Jongdae sits in a corner and waits. Two more children come in over the next hour, a girl and a boy, and then no one for half an hour. The shock is wearing off and he feels the pain of the too-tight gag and the dryness of his throat and a slowly growing fear as he wonders what will come next. Will they let him say goodbye to his family? Will they hurt him? Will they really take him somewhere or will they just kill him and dump his body somewhere secret? He doesn't really believe that could happen, but he's heard so many wild rumors about what happens to those who fail a Siren test that it's hard not to worry.
Finally, three police officers come into the room. "You will be transported to various Siren communities around the country," one explains. Jongdae thinks it might be one of the ones who brought him here. "For safety reasons, you will not be able to meet anyone before you leave, but you will be able to write letters to say goodbye, and your families will be able to send you a limited number of your belongings."
They take Jongdae and one of the scared girls and put them in the back of a truck, and Jongdae's heart starts to race as he wonders if maybe they really will take them out of the city and shoot them. He's always been an optimistic, trusting sort of person, but he's never had so much reason to be scared before. They drive for what feels like an eternity, though it's probably not even an hour, before they come to a stop. It's dark in the truck, so Jongdae can't see the girl, but he can hear her scramble back away from the door, before it opens, as if she could escape.
Jongdae squints against the bright light, but once his eyes adjust, he sees...not very much. There are mountains and more mountains and trees and dirt, and it's not until he gets out of the truck and looks in the other direction that he sees their destination.
He's never seen a Siren community, though the news talks about them all the time. It looks like he imagines a prison would, with a barbed wire fence and what is probably a watchtower rising stark and intimidating over the grim landscape. This isn't a place where a kid like him, whose worst crime is sometimes fighting with his big brother, belongs. This isn't a place where any kid belongs, far away from everything and everyone familiar.
Now that the shock has worn off, Jongdae feels very young and lost and alone. Is this what his life will be like from now on, surrounded by mountains and barbed wire and hostile guards? Will he never see his family or his friends or any normal people again? Just thinking about the possibility makes his chest feel tight with fear and sorrow.
There's no telling what the future will bring, but it's abundantly, frighteningly clear that in a matter of moments, his life has changed completely, and it's not ever going to be the same again.
***
It takes Junmyeon an hour and fifteen minutes to drive to the location. It's in the middle of nowhere and it's a lot colder here than in Seoul, the wind making him huddle into his scarf when he gets out of the car.
The media insists that the Siren communities are just that, not prisons, and Junmyeon has no reason to doubt that, but this one looks forbidding, surrounded by a barbed-wire fence. There's a guard post at the entrance, and the guards have to push a button before they can hear Junmyeon speak into the intercom.
"I'm with the new volunteer program," he explains, holding up the papers he was given. They open a slot and he passes them through. The guards spend a while looking over and discussing the papers and Junmyeon watches, unable to hear a word.
Finally, they seem satisfied and hand the papers back to him. "The warden will be out in a minute to meet you," they say through the intercom.
Warden. That sounds awfully prison-like too, and the man who approaches the gate next to the guard station looks unfriendly enough to fit the title. He eyes Junmyeon skeptically, like he doesn't think he belongs in a place like this. Maybe he doesn't, but he's here and he's not going to be intimidated. He stands up straighter and says, "My name is Kim Junmyeon. I'm here for the—"
"Yes, I know," the warden cuts him off. "Let me see your paperwork." There's nowhere to pass it through the gate, so Junmyeon holds it up for him to see. "Kim Junmyeon," he reads. "Welcome." He doesn't sound very welcoming at all. There's something odd about the way he speaks too, but Junmyeon can't put his finger on what it is.
Once he's satisfied with what he sees, he says, "Come inside," but he has to punch a code into a small remote on his belt before there's a buzzing sound and the gate opens automatically, allowing Junmyeon inside and then closing behind him with a definitive slam. "Follow me," the warden says.
They walk across bare, dusty ground to a small cluster of nondescript buildings. "We have forty-three residents here right now," he comments, even though there's not a single person visible.
"Where is everyone?" Junmyeon asks, but the warden ignores him completely. Confused, he repeats his question more loudly, but it's another ten seconds before the warden turns around.
"If you said something, I didn't hear. You'll have to get my attention first." He gestures at his ear and Junmyeon finally gets it. Of course it makes sense to have a deaf person watching over people who can control others with their voices.
"I'm sorry. Where is everyone?" he asks again, being careful to enunciate.
"They don't spend much time outside in the winter," the warden explains. "It's cold and no one wants to stay out and watch them for long."
"Do they need to be watched?" Junmyeon asks, but the warden is already turning away, perhaps intentionally missing his question.
Inside, things look better. It's warm enough for Junmyeon to tug his scarf loose, and although the walls are an unpainted concrete gray, they're decorated with prints of paintings Junmyeon should probably recognize. It's still not the friendliest-looking place, but more like a cheap dormitory than a prison.
The warden points out the kitchen as they pass by, and a hallway branching off to the side where all the bedrooms are. He also points out buttons along the way, which will set off an alarm in case of emergency. "They're for any kind of emergency, so if anyone tries anything funny, you can press those and a guard will come.
"Should I worry about that?" Junmyeon asks, as if he isn't already. When he signed up for the volunteer program, they assured him it would be safe, but they also had him sign release forms, so it's hard to say how much he should believe that. He's not so afraid of Sirens, really, but people love to tell horror stories and they're hard to forget.
"We've been in operation eight years without any significant incidents," the warden says. "I wouldn't worry." Then, after a moment, he adds, "But don't let your guard down. You never know what people are capable of, and they're not like other people."
After that speech, Junmyeon's more than a little surprised when the warden quickly hands him over to one of the Sirens for further orientation. "We don't have a lot of staff here," he explains, "and we can't spare someone to babysit you."
"But is it safe?" There's only one high-security Siren camp, for those who have shown themselves to be dangerous, and this isn't it, but Junmyeon is still wary. There seem to be a lot of precautions in place and they can't all be for nothing. The warden said there haven't been any significant incidents, but what qualifies as significant?
"We've got a pretty harmless group here," the warden says dismissively, "and we make sure they have no weapons except their voices. No one gets in or out of this place without my approval, so it wouldn't do them much good to control you."
They arrive in the large common room and all the conversations abruptly stop, everyone turning to the door with interest. "Where's Baekhyun?" the warden asks, and someone stands up in the far corner of the room.
Baekhyun, it turns out, is a year younger than Junmyeon, but he's been here more than five years already. "It's not so bad, once you get used to it," he tells Junmyeon as he shows him around, and it's hard to tell what truths he's hiding behind his bright smile. Maybe he really doesn't mind being here, but if that's not the case, he's not likely to say it.
Baekhyun's friend Kyungsoo, who joins them for the grand tour, looks a lot less content with his lot. He's small, almost delicate looking, but there's something hard in his eyes that makes Junmyeon a little nervous. Whatever the warden may think about the Sirens here being harmless, they could hurt him if they wanted to, and Kyungsoo almost looks like he might be considering it.
He doesn't say anything, though, just quietly listens as Baekhyun rambles, telling Junmyeon about the camp and the people in it. "I'll introduce you to Ryeowook-hyung later," he says. "He and Taeyeon-noona have been here the longest. They've got some stories about how things were at the beginning, but these days there's not much trouble. Our biggest worry is being bored."
"Or getting sick of everybody here," Kyungsoo puts in. His tone is bland and Junmyeon can't tell if he's joking or not. It wouldn't surprise him if it's the truth. Living with the same people for years, you're bound to get fed up with them sometimes, and it's not like they have the option of getting away for a while.
"How could you ever get sick of me?" Baekhyun asks, grinning and throwing an arm around Kyungsoo's shoulders. Kyungsoo's expression turns more obviously threatening, but he doesn't resist, seemingly resigned to Baekhyun's behavior.
What strikes Junmyeon is that it's just so normal, the way they interact. They could be students at his university, or high school boys on the street. They don't seem like prisoners, and they don't seem like menaces to society either. They seem ordinary, like either of them could easily trade places with Junmyeon and no one would bat an eye. But then, he supposes that there are psychopaths out there who appear normal at first, so he shouldn't make conclusions about them so quickly.
They're just getting back to the common room when two guards pass by, then stop, one of them turning to say, "Hey, you. Volunteer guy."
"Kim Junmyeon," he tells them, even though they didn't ask and probably don't care.
"We need your help with something. Can you grab a lunch tray and take it down to solitary?"
"Solitary?" Junmyeon asks, confused.
"Solitary confinement," the second guard explains. Then, to the guard who asked, he says, "Are you sure that's a good idea on his first day?"
"That kid's harmless," the first guard says dismissively. "And he's locked up anyway. It'll be fine."
Junmyeon is skeptical, but he doesn't want to cause trouble on his first day here, so he agrees, going to pick up a tray of food from the kitchen and carrying it out. Solitary turns out to be a small building in the back of the camp. There's a lock on the outer door that he opens with a key the guards gave him, and inside it's split into three small cells with clear doors, only one of which is occupied.
There's a guy in there, huddled under a blanket with his knees pulled up to his chest. He looks small like that, and the fluorescent lights draw harsh shadows on the sharp angles of his face. His eyes are distant and his mouth is moving, but Junmyeon can't hear anything through the door.
When he notices Junmyeon, his mouth stops moving and his lips quirk up into a smile that might be cute if there was any spark of humor in it. As it is, it makes Junmyeon feel a little sad. "Hi," the man says, or at least that's what Junmyeon assumes he's saying from the accompanying wave.
"Hi," he responds. He can't wave with the lunch tray in his hands, but he flashes a smile to go with it, holding up the tray to show why he's here. Then he realizes the problem that he doesn't know how to get the tray into the cell and gives a sheepish grimace as he looks around for an opening.
Noticing his confusion, the man in the cell points to the side, and Junmyeon notices two buttons. The first doesn't seem to do anything, but the second opens a slot in the door that allows him to pass the tray through, slamming closed almost as soon as the man inside pulls it in. The guards may not take solitary too seriously if they're sending clueless Junmyeon in here, but they're not messing around with these cells.
Thanks, he mouths exaggeratedly but without much feeling, and Junmyeon nods politely in response. He doesn't know what to make of this man, locked away in a soundproof room despite not looking at all threatening, smiling his unhappy smile. But there's nothing more for him to do here, so he waves goodbye and heads back outside.
"What's solitary for?" he asks Baekhyun later, as he joins the Sirens for lunch. The food isn't particularly good, but neither is it terrible, and there's enough for them not to worry about going hungry. "You're not supposed to be prisoners."
Kyungsoo scoffs at that, then, when Junmyeon turns to him, pretends to have no idea where the sound came from. "We're not," Baekhyun agrees, though Junmyeon thinks there might be sarcasm buried under his even tone, "but there are rules here. Jongdae tends to break the number one rule a lot and get stuck in solitary until he repents."
"Jongdae?" Junmyeon asks.
"You met him if you went to solitary," Baekhyun says. "He's the only one there now. He'd be out already, but he keeps getting caught singing to himself."
Junmyeon remembers the way Jongdae's mouth was moving when he arrived in solitary, and the look on his face when he realized he'd been spotted. "Is that the rule he keeps breaking?"
Baekhyun nods. "You'd think after all this time he'd know better. He keeps singing in the shower like no one can hear him there. But he usually gets lonely after a few days and starts behaving again, so he'll be out soon and you can meet him."
"I see," Junmyeon says, not knowing what to make of that. "Do people get put in solitary a lot?"
Baekhyun shrugs, so Ryeowook, who's sitting next to Kyungsoo, chimes in, "The first month, when there were only three of us here, the guards were really nervous so they stuck us in there the whole time until word came down from on high that they were supposed to be taking decent care of us and that wouldn't look good. Since then, there's rarely more than one person in at a time, and a lot of the time there's no one. The rules aren't that hard to follow."
"Sometimes I think people get themselves thrown in there on purpose," Baekhyun comments, "just to have some time alone. Or for Jongdae, because it's the only place that's soundproof, so you can sing loudly and no one will hear you." He's smiling as he says it, but then his smile slips for a second before it returns, stiff, like he thinks he's said something he shouldn't. If no singing is the number one rule, Junmyeon can see why. "Anyway, it's just isolation. We don't get any other punishments."
He quickly changes the subject, and Junmyeon doesn't push. He's curious about a lot of things, but he has plenty of time to learn more about this place, and he'll probably learn more if he stays on the good side of the residents.
The remainder of Junmyeon's time in the camp is spent on mundane tasks, mostly filing papers in the warden's office, but he still has a lot to think about as he drives home that evening. More than anything else, he keeps coming back to the image of Jongdae singing to himself in solitary, and remembering what Baekhyun said about him. Years ago, when being good at singing was no different from being good at art or sports, Junmyeon used to like to sing, but he can't conceive of liking it enough to risk isolation, and maybe even worse if someone decided he was dangerous. But then, thinking about the cold, lonely Siren camp compared to his warm apartment in a lively Seoul neighborhood, he can't help thinking that there's a lot about their lives he wouldn't understand.
***
When Junmyeon comes back the next week, he gets sent out to solitary again. "Would you believe Jongdae got out and then went right back in the next day?" Baekhyun asks, laughing. "Even for him, that's bad."
"Are you sure he's not just trying to get away from you?" Kyungsoo asks, deadpan, but Baekhyun just laughs harder.
"Maybe he's sick of us," he says, "but he always insists he just forgets. He's such an idiot that I can believe it."
This time, when Junmyeon goes into the building, Jongdae is asleep, slumped against the wall with a blanket pulled up to his neck. It doesn't look comfortable, so he must be very tired to sleep like that. Junmyeon's wondering how he's going to get the tray in without dropping it on the floor, but Jongdae wakes up when the slot opens. He blinks in confusion, looking very young as he rubs his eyes with the back of his hand. He acknowledges Junmyeon with a nod, not even attempting a smile this time.
The slot snaps shut while he's still waiting for Jongdae to move, so Junmyeon has to push the button again before he can hand the food through. Jongdae looks at the tray and makes a face, and Junmyeon would like to ask him why, but the soundproof wall between them makes that impossible. Thanks, Jongdae mouths again. Junmyeon offers him a bright smile in return, not surprised when he doesn't get one back, before heading back out.
Today, he's tasked to clean up after lunch together with Baekhyun and a girl named Soojung who turns out to be the newest resident. "I've already been here for a year, though," she tells him. "They didn't send anyone here after the last two tests."
"They probably don't like to have too many of us in one place," Baekhyun adds. "They moved a few of the older residents last year, supposedly because of space, but more likely to split them up. It's not necessary, but it's not like anyone would listen if we told them that."
Junmyeon nods and busies himself with dishwashing since he doesn't have a good response to that. It makes sense to be careful, he supposes. In spite of the safeguards in place and a warden who can't be affected by them, the combined efforts of a lot of Sirens could easily cause trouble. He hasn't seen any hint that they'd do it, but you never know. The Sirens here may be harmless, but they're not all like that. He remembers the big headlines, Sirens committing robberies or at the worst nearly getting away with murder.
"It would be nice to have someone new," Baekhyun continues, not seeming to mind Junmyeon's lack of response. "Mix things up a bit. Forty-three people doesn't sound like that few, but when you see those same forty-three people all day, every day..."
"Maybe they'll move you next and you'll have forty-some new people to get to know," Soojung teases.
"Don't say that." Baekhyun's voice sounds unexpectedly sharp, but when Junmyeon looks at him, he grins. "I'd hate to have to break in a whole new camp worth of friends."
"Like you wouldn't have everyone wrapped around your finger after a week," Soojung says lightly, leaving Junmyeon to wonder if the tense moment was his imagination.
"Well, in any case, I think they just can't be bothered to do much with us most of the time," Baekhyun concludes. "It's probably better that way. Wouldn't want things to get too interesting here."
"Hmm," Junmyeon says vaguely, still not knowing how to respond, and Baekhyun laughs.
"Okay, enough about our exciting lives here. Tell us more about yourself, Mr. Volunteer."
* * *
It's not until the third time that Junmyeon gets to meet Jongdae without a soundproof wall between them. He looks more comfortable in the main building, surrounded by friends and not huddled under a blanket against the cold in solitary, but not a whole lot happier. "Nice to actually meet you," he says blandly. "Thanks for the food."
"You're welcome," Junmyeon says even though the gratitude doesn't sound entirely sincere. There's no reason not to be polite.
"Be nice to him," Baekhyun tells Jongdae, patting him on the back. "He's too innocent for your kind of sarcasm."
"I'm what?" Junmyeon asks, which gets a laugh from everyone within earshot. He supposes Baekhyun might have a point. He's hardly a child, but maybe he is more innocent than everyone here. He's had an easy life compared to a lot of people, he knows, and spending time with Sirens who were separated from their families at young ages and forced to live in the middle of nowhere without support reminds him strongly of that.
"It's okay," Baekhyun assures him with a friendly smile. "We like you even if you're clueless."
Jongdae smiles too, but where Baekhyun's smile is playful, there's an edge to his. Junmyeon doesn't know what to make of it. Maybe that's what happens when you spend too much time alone in solitary, or maybe he'll see a lot of smiles like that as he gets to know more of the residents.
Today, Junmyeon gets sent to the greenhouse with Jongdae and another guy named Jinki who he hasn't talked to before. The greenhouse is small and the plants are a little sad but Jinki explains that if they want any fruits or vegetables that are remotely fresh, this is what they've got. "It's better in the spring and summer," he says, "but winter is pretty pathetic."
They're only there for about ten minutes before someone comes and tells Jinki he's needed elsewhere, leaving Junmyeon and Jongdae alone. They work in silence, watering the plants and pruning a little. Junmyeon wants to talk, uncomfortable with silence, but he doesn't know what to say and doesn't want to put his foot in his mouth, so he bites his tongue until suddenly Jongdae asks, "Why are you here?"
"What do you mean?" Jongdae doesn't sound angry so much as confused, disbelieving. Junmyeon supposes it makes sense. There aren't many people who would choose to spend time in a Siren community, even for just a few hours a week. To tell the truth, he doesn't have a good answer. He's here because he signed up for the volunteer program on a whim and that's about it. He didn't think through what it would mean.
"Why would you come to a place like this if you don't have to?" Jongdae elaborates. "Why not just stay in Seoul and try to forget we exist like everyone else does?"
Junmyeon frowns at that. It's a valid question, but a hard one to answer. He's here to volunteer, to have an interesting new experience and something nice to put on his resume. Maybe he's here because he thought he could make a difference, help some poor, lonely Sirens, but now that he's here, that feels silly, overly self-important. How much of a difference can it make to the Sirens stuck in this place to have him around?
"I mean, are you an idiot?" Jongdae laughs, but it's not really a joke. His eyes are hard. "If I had a choice, I'd stay as far away from here as possible."
"I'm not an idiot," Junmyeon retorts, defensive. Then he winces, embarrassed at his reaction. He shouldn't get angry. "I guess I just wanted to help," he continues, more calmly. "I don't know if I can do anything, but I want to try."
"Hmm," is all Jongdae says to that, but judging from the overly-aggressive weeding he follows it up with, he's not impressed.
"And..." Junmyeon frowns. "I didn't know what it was like. You say you'd want to stay away, but I didn't know what it would be like. Nobody out there does."
"I know," Jongdae says quietly "I remember." He's stopped weeding but his eyes are on the plants, not looking at Junmyeon.
"How long have you been here?" Junmyeon asks hesitantly, not sure if it's something he's allowed to ask even though Baekhyun and a few others volunteered the information readily.
"Five years," Jongdae says, still quiet, "but I haven't forgotten everything about the outside yet." He laughs again, an unpleasant, brittle sound. "Maybe in a few more years."
There are a few moments of awkward silence before Junmyeon asks, even more unsure, "Is it really that bad here?" It's not wonderful, clearly, but their lives are comfortable enough, and it doesn't seem like they're treated badly. Not everyone looks unhappy.
He half expects Jongdae to snap at him, but instead he sighs and bites his lip. "Sorry. I shouldn't say this stuff to you."
"It's okay," Junmyeon assures him. "I can listen, but I won't understand unless you explain." He does want to, though. He wants to help wherever he can. Someone like Baekhyun with a smile always on his face doesn't give him room to, but maybe there is something he can do for Jongdae, even if it's only listening to him. He's wanted to try since he saw Jongdae's flat smile his first day here.
There's a long silence and he wonders if he's offended Jongdae, if he's going to clam up and not say anything more, but at last he speaks. "It's not that bad. We have food and clothes and beds and everything, and the guards don't give us much trouble. But when you're on the outside, you can see so many places and meet so many people and do so many things. Here, everything is the same all the time. We don't even get new people often, and we have so little contact with the outside world, even with our families. What's the point if that's all you can expect from your whole life no matter what you do, the same people and the same thing day after day?"
His voice is soft and he sounds more tired than anything else, but it makes Junmyeon feel sad, and guilty and helpless and a lot of other things. He's been comparing this place favorably to a jail, but compared to the outside world, it's so limited. It's easy for him, coming for a few hours a week, but he can't imagine what it's like to live here all the time, year after year, and especially to know that you may very well spend your entire life here.
He's jolted out of his thoughts by Jongdae grumbling, "Don't make that face." He sounds a little amused underneath the grumpiness, which is a relief. "I'm not trying to guilt trip you. But you said you wanted to understand, so there you go."
"Thank you," Junmyeon says. "For being honest with me."
Jongdae makes a dismissive sound. "It's no big deal." Then, a little more gently, he adds, "It's nice. I can't really say these things to the others. It's not...we don't talk about it, you know? Since everyone's dealing with the same thing." And then, "You're not going to report on me or something, are you? Some people say that's what this volunteer program is for."
"I won't. That's not what this is about." After a moment, he adds, "Not for me, anyway." He'd like to think that the volunteer program is about altruism, but he's not so naïve as to not realize that it's largely for show, to reassure the general public that the Sirens are being treated well, and that maybe for some people it is an excuse to spy on Sirens.
"Good," Jongdae says, and it looks like he's smiling just a little, sincerely, as he goes back to tending plants. It is, after all, a cute smile, Junmyeon thinks.
* * *
A few more weeks and Junmyeon starts to get used to visiting the Siren community, and they start to get used to him. Not everyone is friendly, but he gets to know some of the guards and a lot of the Sirens. It's exciting for them to have someone new to talk to, someone to share news of the world they're largely cut off from. He also helps his case by bringing presents. The Sirens get paid a pittance for doing work around the camp and they can use that to buy things, but no one is willing to deliver, so they're limited to what they can get in the commissary.
He has to get approval from the warden, but he brings books, toiletries, food, and even occasionally clothing. "Trying to buy our love, I see," Baekhyun teases, but he doesn't complain when Junmyeon brings him candy he hasn't eaten in years.
Maybe he is buying their love, but there's a reason it's so easy. He's surprised to see all the things they've gotten used to doing without. Kyungsoo shows him the small library that consists mostly of old textbooks one day, explaining, "This is our school, basically."
Junmyeon's brow furrows as he looks around at the books. All of them have seen better days, and they're probably outdated too. "You don't have teachers?" Most Sirens are identified while in middle school or high school, and he vaguely recalls the government saying that they would be allowed to continue their schooling regardless of "resettlement."
"We used to have a tutor here once a week, to assign reading and check our homework and maybe answer a few questions," Kyungsoo says. "Now everyone's old enough that they decided we don't need it anymore. Some people like to look at courses online, but our internet sucks so we can't do much." He shrugs. "It's nothing like you get in real schools. Depending on who you ask, either we're lucky not to have to study hard or we get screwed over."
"What do you think?" He's not sure he'll get an answer, but at least he's gotten to know Kyungsoo enough to realize that he doesn't need to fear for his life around him.
Kyungsoo answers with another shrug. "I like to read," he says. "At least I can do that, and I have lots of time for it."
That's what Junmyeon notices most of all about life in the Siren community, that they have more time than they know what to do with. They have one TV for forty-three people and it barely gets any reception. They have more computers, but they're old and slow and the internet connection is questionable at best. Junmyeon's not convinced there isn't some kind of filter on the internet beyond the acknowledged block on e-mail that makes it refuse to load a number of websites as well as pages containing certain topics, but the warden insists it's just a bad connection.
The Sirens take care of all the unskilled labor, cooking and cleaning and laundry and so on, and some things Junmyeon would have thought require special training. "After the third or fourth time the heat went out and we had to freeze for hours waiting for someone to come fix it, we decided it was time to learn how to do it ourselves," explains Jonghyun, who's close to Junmyeon's age but has been here since he was fourteen, as he does just that. Junmyeon rubs his cold hands together and thinks about how carefree his life was at age fourteen.
It's not like life is so bad here, but it lacks many of the comforts Junmyeon is used to, and more importantly, the freedom. They can't hop in the car or get on the subway and go somewhere. They eat in the same room for every meal and spend every day in the same rooms with the same people for years on end. The only visitors they ever get are Junmyeon and another volunteer who comes midweek, and on rare occasions a politician legally obligated to check up on them (but not without being surrounded by earplug-wielding guards). The monotony must get overwhelming.
Some of the Sirens are cheerful enough, like Baekhyun who's friends with everyone and always talking to someone, but there are also many with dark things in their eyes like Kyungsoo or in their words like Jongdae, and others who seem to sleepwalk through their days without even bothering with emotions.
"We all have our bad days," Jongdae tells him one day as they hang laundry outside while a guard half watches from too far away to hear them. It's a gloomy gray day, but warm enough now that handling wet clothes isn't torture. "When we get fed up or miss people really badly. But other days, it's...bearable. For me, anyway."
"Do you miss people a lot?" Junmyeon asks. Jongdae, more than anyone else, has proven willing to talk to him, not just about light topics or things that are easily laughed off like Baekhyun, but about more difficult subjects and how he feels about them. Junmyeon is glad to learn more, about Siren life and about Jongdae, and maybe he's giving himself too much credit, but he thinks Jongdae looks a little happier for having someone to talk openly with about topics the other Sirens try to avoid.
His question is greeted with silence, and when Junmyeon turns, he finds Jongdae staring at the shirt in his hands. "You know..." He glances over at Junmyeon for just a second before looking down again, uncomfortable. "At first, I missed my family and my friends so much I couldn't take it. I was a mess for a while. And I don't not miss them now, but...you get used to it. You can get used to a lot more than you would expect." He laughs humorlessly and the sound makes Junmyeon flinch. It's been a while since he's heard it. "I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing."
"If it helps you cope..."
"I guess," Jongdae agrees without much conviction. "I just don't want to forget. I'd hate to think that my family and friends have forgotten me."
"I really doubt that," Junmyeon says immediately, firmly. He doesn't have any basis for it, but it's what he'd like to believe. He can't imagine that he'd ever forget his family if he was separated from them. He can't imagine, really, that anyone who was close to Jongdae would find him so forgettable. "You don't get to contact people outside at all?"
"They don't want us sending e-mails, and we don't get mail up here. Security reasons, I guess. I got to send a letter when I was first brought here, and my parents were allowed to send me one back along with some clothes and stuff, but it was basically to say goodbye. I don't know how they justify it, but we all know it's to keep us from being in touch with 'free the Sirens' people."
It doesn't seem fair to cut them off from the outside world to avoid that, but he can understand why it's considered necessary. The temptation would surely be too great, and the Sirens themselves would be in danger if they got free in a world that's too afraid to be able to peacefully deal with their existence.
"It's okay," Jongdae continues when Junmyeon takes too long thinking how to respond. "I mean, it sucks, but I wouldn't want to worry my family. It's better for them to move on with their lives, and it's easier for us if we don't think about what's out there." He doesn't sound like he really believes it, but Junmyeon's not about to say so.
"I guess you're right," he says.
Jongdae laughs, a little sadly, but not the same empty sound as before, and gives Junmyeon a playful smack on the arm. "You're a terrible liar, hyung," he says dryly. "But thanks."
* * *
Junmyeon is busy with school and socializing and now volunteering so he's been working with the Sirens for more than two months before he goes to have dinner at his parents' house. "We never see you anymore," his mother complains, but she says that every time she sees him no matter how long it's been, so he doesn't take it too seriously.
"I'm sorry," he says, giving her a hug. "I've just got so much going on."
"You've been spending all your time up in the mountains, huh?" his father says, disapproval clear in his tone. His father hadn't been impressed when Junmyeon told him he'd signed up for the volunteer program, thinking his free time was better spent on something more likely to advance his future career as a politician or professor or something similarly respectable.
"And school." Junmyeon can't help getting defensive, even though he knows his parents mean well. "I'm only spending one day a week at the Siren community."
"I think it's nice that you want to do something to help people," his mother tells him, "but surely there are better ways, ones that don't involve spending time with those kinds of people."
"Those kinds of people?" he echoes. He can guess what she means and it would be better to let it go, but the words are out of his mouth before he can stop himself.
"You know, the Sirens. They're not way out there away from the city for no reason. They're dangerous and I don't want to see you get hurt."
Junmyeon is surprised by how quickly anger flares up in him at her casual words. It's hardly the first time he's heard people talk about the dangers of Sirens, and he's never felt the need to contradict them. "I don't know what kind of people you think Sirens are, but they're not any different from us, except for what they can do, and they never use their abilities. They haven't done anything to deserve being locked away. It could just as easily have been me who failed a Siren test and got taken away to live there for the rest of my life and then what would you think?"
"Don't say that!" his mother snaps, and Junmyeon immediately feels guilty. He knows how much his parents worried about him when he was a teenager. He liked to sing too, back in the days before anyone had ever heard of Sirens, and although no one's proven it, singing ability and Siren powers have long been suspected to be linked.
"I'm sorry," he says, more gently, "but it's true. Sirens are just like ordinary people, except for their abilities. Some of them are bad people, but most of them aren't. The ones in this camp, they're decent people just like you and me. They're not going to hurt me." He can't say that for sure, but even the warden and the guards seem to think that the Sirens in this particular community are no danger, and Junmyeon has seen nothing that would make him believe otherwise. "It's not like there aren't dangerous people out in the world too."
His mother looks like she wants to argue, but she bites her tongue. "Come on, let's eat," his father says, but as they sit down, he adds, "Your mother and I just worry about you. You never know how safe it really is, and in any case, you have to be careful who and what you let yourself be associated with. You're young, but things you do at this age can taint your reputation later."
"I know," Junmyeon agrees, more to put an end to this conversation than because he does understand. It's not so hard to believe that there are people who would judge him for having anything to do with Sirens, but those are probably people he doesn't want anything to do with himself. "But it's just volunteering. There's nothing wrong with that."
"Just be careful," his mother says, her tone restrained now. "We want you to be safe, that's all."
"I know," Junmyeon repeats with a smile, meaning it this time. The conversation goes in another direction after that, but Junmyeon finds himself still thinking about the Sirens, remembering Jongdae saying he doesn't want to worry his family. How lucky he is, to have parents he can visit, parents who can tell him that they worry about him. There's a lot, he realizes anew, that really isn't fair.
* * *
The end of the school year is approaching and with final exams hanging over him, Junmyeon is more bothered than usual by losing the better part of a day to the Siren camp. It's only volunteering, so he doesn't have to go if he doesn't want to, but he doesn't want to back out of his commitment. Besides, he reasons, it'll be good to take a break.
Up in the mountains, life goes on the same as always, even though many of the residents are at an age where, if they weren't here, they'd be studying for final exams too. "Yuck, tests," says Baekhyun when the subject comes up over lunch. "I'm really not sorry that I don't have to deal with those anymore."
"I thought university was supposed to be easier," Jongdae says. "How much do you really need to study?"
Before Junmyeon can answer, Baekhyun says, "You're one of those people who studies way more than you need to just in case, aren't you? With color coded notes all neatly organized and a schedule of what you're going to study when."
"I'm not that bad," Junmyeon grumbles, but he can't keep a smile off his face at Baekhyun's now-familiar teasing. Besides, he's not entirely wrong.
"I can just picture it," Jongdae chimes in. "You at your desk surrounded by neat piles of notes and textbooks and a few pencils lined up in case you break one."
That makes Junmyeon laugh as he pictures the mess on his desk at home. "I do study hard, but I can guarantee you're overestimating how neat I am."
"Really?" Jongdae cocks his head, studying Junmyeon thoughtfully. "I can't picture you being messy."
"You have no idea." That gets a laugh, and Junmyeon smiles. It was good, after all, to come here. It's nice to relax and let life go for a little while, and maybe to realize that school isn't everything.
"What are you studying anyway?" asks Ryeowook.
"Political science," Junmyeon tells him.
"Now that I can see," Jongdae says with a teasing smile. "You interning with politicians in a perfect suit. Isn't that how you should be spending your weekends?"
"My parents think so," Junmyeon concedes. The reaction to that is a little uncomfortable, like no one knows what to say when it sounds like he shouldn't be there. It's only okay if it's joking, so he hurriedly adds, "But I'd rather come here. It's more fun, and I probably learn more too."
Still no one says anything for a few awkward moments until Baekhyun laughs a little too loud. "Well, I'll vote for you when you become a politician, but I expect you to see if you can get a law passed to at least give us a few more TVs."
"And better food," Jongdae adds. Finally, everyone laughs, the weird atmosphere broken.
Later, Junmyeon helps Kyungsoo put sheets in the washing machines, and Kyungsoo breaks the reasonably comfortable silence to ask, "Why are you here? You do seem like you'd want to do something to prepare for your future instead of coming here and doing laundry. Does it look that good, spending time with the poor lonely Sirens?"
"No," Junmyeon admits. "To a lot of people, it looks bad if I have anything to do with you." He frowns, considering the question. Even though he's been coming to the camp for a while now, it's still hard to say exactly why. "Jongdae asked me that too, a while back. He said I was an idiot for coming here when I didn't have to."
"You probably are." Kyungsoo can't quite keep a small smile off his face, softening his words.
"Maybe," Junmyeon agrees with a laugh. "But...I guess I wanted to do something that wasn't about preparing for my future. I've worked so hard for so long without even stopping to think about if it's what I really want or just what I think I should do. I've been too wrapped up in my own life and I wanted to try to do something for other people. I guess. Something like that," he finishes lamely.
"Hm," is the only response he gets from Kyungsoo.
Too late, Junmyeon remembers who he's talking to. It's so easy to forget that even if the Sirens here aren't so different from him, their everyday lives and the choices they have are. There's very little for them to look forward to in the future, and here he is making the paths that are open to him but not them sound like a burden. "Sorry, I didn't mean to..."
"I know," Kyungsoo says with no accusation in his tone. "You never do."
Junmyeon winces. Good intentions only go so far if this is something he does consistently. How many times has he put his foot in his mouth without even realizing? "I'm sorry," he repeats.
Kyungsoo pauses to start one of the washers, and it's not until he's done that he turns to Junmyeon. His eyes are piercing but his voice is quiet and even. "You're trying. That's better than most people out there who don't even have a clue and don't care to get one. Just keep trying."
"I will," Junmyeon promises.
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes a little at the too earnest response, but he follows it up with a small smile. "And don't forget us when you're a hotshot politician or whatever. We could really use more people on our side out there, even if it's not a position that'll make you look good."
"I won't forget. I can't promise I'll be a hotshot politician, but I'll do what I can." It's talking big, considering that he's nothing but a university student with uncertain aspirations, but he'd like to do what he can to help the Sirens when he's able to. There has to be something he can do, wherever he ends up.
"So don't fail your finals or you won't be any use to us," Kyungsoo adds mildly.
Junmyeon laughs hard, and harder still when Kyungsoo looks startled by his reaction, and thinks that volunteering here, whatever his parents or the world may think, was a very good decision.
* * *
The e-mail comes out of nowhere. Junmyeon is at home, working on a paper, when suddenly a notification pops up of an e-mail from an unfamiliar address, no subject. He expects it to be spam, but when he looks at his inbox, he sees, Do you think Sirens are people too?
He stares at it, perplexed. What kind of question is that to ask a total stranger out of the blue? He should probably ignore it, but it's not in his nature to ignore something being asked of him, however strange it may be. Besides, he can't help being curious. Of course I do, he writes back. Who is this? How did you get my e-mail?
The reply is almost immediate. I'm sorry for the secrecy, but it's essential for my line of work. A friend connected to the volunteer program gave me your info. Said you might be sympathetic.
Sympathetic to what? he asks, wary.
It takes a bit longer for the next e-mail to come, but when it does, it's exactly what he was both anticipating and fearing. To the idea that Sirens who haven't harmed anyone deserve to live free too.
It's not an entirely shocking sentiment. He's heard of protests against the Siren camps, and a few years ago, a case of two guards trying to free the Sirens under their care was all over the news. He knows that the Sirens are cut off from the outside world in large part to keep them from being in contact with people who might try to break them out. But he doesn't know anyone who's actively against Siren isolation and he's never imagined getting involved in that, even now that he's become friendly with Sirens and realized how unfair their lot is.
He thinks about the camp and everyone he's met there. It's not such a terrible place to live, but he's seen the problems, the only adequate conditions and the isolation, the way they have no opportunity to do anything with their lives beyond live. He can't imagine being in the same position. Is it fair that Jongdae and Baekhyun and the others should be stuck there even though they've never done anything wrong?
Once, he would have said it was a necessary evil, even if it wasn't fair. That it's not safe to have people who can do what they can interacting with regular people, not for ordinary people and not for the Sirens themselves, after the kind of violence that erupted before they were isolated. But having met Sirens, having gotten to know them for the first time and realized that he's not afraid, and having seen that they're barely any different from him, it's harder to believe that they should be sacrificed for the greater good. Surely there must be a better way.
But even if he does believe that they should be free, that's a dangerous opinion to express to a stranger. For all he knows, this is a trap. It's not illegal to disapprove of Siren isolation, but saying so could easily get him kicked out of the volunteer program and taint his reputation for years to come. On the other hand, if it's not a ruse...is he brave enough to say what he's thinking and maybe even act on it? He's always followed the rules, whatever he thought of them. He doesn't know if he has it in him to go against the grain, especially on something so big.
In the end, he writes back an e-mail as noncommittal as he can manage: Who would tell a stranger who's not even willing to give a name something like that? It's not a no, but it's a long way from a yes.
Would you tell me even if I did give you my name? comes the quick response. Assuming you do agree. It almost sounds like teasing, but it's hard to tell from text on a screen, written by a stranger.
I might, he writes back. He doesn't know, honestly. He still needs to work up the courage.
I can't do that yet, but I can tell you that I'm not asking for no reason, or to trap you. I can also tell you that this is becoming an urgent question. Things are changing. Governments are deciding that isolating Sirens isn't enough.
What do you mean? he writes back, curious but not sure he wants to know. This is getting serious, and he's afraid of crossing a line he can't uncross. If what this person knows is bad enough, he might not be able to say no.
People are still scared. They want Sirens' powers deactivated or a way to protect against them, and if they can't have that, they want the Sirens gone. Politicians would be only too happy to not have to worry about them anymore.
Junmyeon stares at his e-mail. There have been rumors, of course, but this person talks like they're sure, like Sirens being hurt or killed not by angry mobs but by the governments that claim to be concerned about their safety is more than just a disturbing but unfounded rumor. Do you really know that? he asks. It's not just rumors?
I do. I know people who know people. China's already been doing experiments for years, and they're probably not the only ones. Now Korea's seriously considering doing the same.
What kind of experiments? Junmyeon asks. The responsible, rule-abiding part of him is telling him to stop, to delete these e-mails and back away before he gets involved in something dangerous, but he wants to know too badly, and maybe it's already too late. Maybe he set himself on the path to this as soon as he decided to volunteer to work with Sirens. Knowing them like he does now, how can he look away from this? Ignoring the protests of his responsible side, he pushes send.
The response is quick again. He wonders what the other person is doing, if he or she is a student, free at this time of day, or a working adult ignoring work, or even hiding in some dark cave somewhere. What kind of person in Korea knows people who know people who know about experiments being done on Sirens in China? That's not what matters now, but it's easier to focus on the irrelevant.
When he reads the e-mail, it says, Anything that sounds like it might work. Cutting out tongues or slashing vocal cords. Meds to change body and brain chemistry. There are even rumors of electroshock and lobotomies to leave their brains such messes they can't do any harm but can't do much of anything else either. They've also been using ordinary people as test subjects to find out just how far these Siren powers can go, and I doubt any of them volunteered.
But they wouldn't do that here. They couldn't. China is different, he tells himself. China is not as free of a country. Maybe awful things like that could happen in China, but not here. He can't believe that.
He's afraid to look at the next e-mail, afraid it'll tell him that he's naïve to think Korea is any better, but curiosity gets the better of him and he does. Twenty years ago, people would've said they couldn't lock up ordinary citizens who haven't broken any law. Things change. People do a lot of things they usually wouldn't when they're scared.
And it's true, really. That's what makes it so frightening, that, having lived through the upheaval that followed the discovery of Sirens, being just old enough to realize how the world has changed since then, he knows it's true that people will go to great lengths to protect themselves. He remembers seeing the news about otherwise ordinary people taking it upon themselves to kill Sirens who hadn't done anything to them, or even people only suspected of having those abilities. Things are better now, but it's not so hard to imagine them getting bad again, or even worse than before, as the Siren population keeps growing.
He reads the last e-mail again, and again and again until he has it memorized, and even though he's unsure and scared and a lot of other things, he finally replies, If I said I was sympathetic, what would you want from me?
This time, his inbox stays empty much longer and he starts to worry almost immediately. Maybe it really was a trap. This could definitely get him kicked out of the volunteer program, and the thought of that, of not seeing Jongdae or Baekhyun or Kyungsoo or even the Sirens he hasn't gotten as close to again, makes him sadder than he would've expected considering that he hasn't known them that long. It could also do worse, could hurt his reputation and his future job prospects and even his other friendships, if he's known to have such controversial political opinions.
He's approaching the point of serious freaking out when an e-mail notification finally pops up. Thank you for your reply. I'd like to contact you in a less traceable way, the message says. You'll hear from me soon.
And that's it. His inbox is quiet, even after he sends a brief reply acknowledging that he got the e-mail. He continues staring at his computer for an hour, trying to distract himself by reading news sites but not absorbing anything, before he finally tears himself away. Either he really will hear something soon or this is the end of it; he's made his decision and the only thing to do now is to see what comes of it.
* * *
Junmyeon still hasn't heard anything when he goes to the Siren camp two days later. Nothing has changed since the last time he was there, but he finds himself looking at it with new eyes. It's still not such a bad place, but when he thinks about the possibility of experiments being done on the residents, the dull gray walls and bored guards suddenly seem a lot more ominous. Living out an entire life in a place like this sounds unpleasant but bearable. Having your life in danger just because you have an unasked for special ability, being trapped in a place where horrible things might happen to you: that's a whole different story.
He gets too lost in those thoughts and Jongdae waves a hand in front of his face. He's having lunch with the Sirens as usual, since the guards have long since given up trying to assign him tasks beyond helping the Sirens out and taking food to solitary when Jongdae gets himself thrown in there. "Hello? Are you there?"
"Sorry." Junmyeon forces his attention back to the immediate reality. "Just thinking."
"Deep thoughts, I'm sure," Baekhyun says dryly.
Junmyeon wonders how he'd react if he knew the truth. Most of the Sirens don't say much to him on the subject, but he can't imagine that they don't resent being locked up with the key thrown away, and of course they'd want to get out of here if they knew they were in danger. (Are they really in danger? He's still not sure he believes it, but maybe it's just that he doesn't want to.)
"Well, you know Junmyeon-hyung leads a very busy and complicated life," Jongdae puts in. "He must have a lot more to think deep thoughts about than we do." He smiles to soften the sarcasm, and Junmyeon is struck by the difference between that grin and the humorless smile when he first met Jongdae. There's genuine happiness in his smile now, and a twinkle in his eyes. Would all that progress be lost if he knew that much worse than what he's experienced so far might be coming for him? If he knew he might have a lot more to fear than just being forgotten?
"Yes, I do," Junmyeon agrees, but he's not good enough at deadpan to make it really funny. They laugh at his attempt anyway.
He manages to act passably normal the rest of the day, but his thoughts are still miles away. He looks around and wonders if everyone could get out or just a few, leaving the rest to their fate. He wonders how, and whether they'd actually make it to a safe place or just be caught and returned, or worse. He wonders if there is a safe place anywhere in the world. If Korea is considering hurting the Sirens its already locked up, who's to say other countries wouldn't?
"Are you okay?" asks Kyuhyun, another of the older Sirens. Junmyeon is helping him and Soojung cut vegetables for dinner. "You usually never shut up."
"Just tired, I guess," Junmyeon says, pasting a smile on his face. "Too much studying." Then, before he can stop himself, the words slip out: "Do you ever think about getting out of here?"
His question is greeted with dead silence, the chopping sounds stopping abruptly. When he looks up, both of the Sirens are staring at him. "Sorry, that's, umm..." he stammers, trying to think of a way to take it back. "Forget it. I shouldn't have said anything."
The silence stretches out, long and awkward, before Soojung finally asks, "Are you sure you're not a plant? Baekhyun-oppa and Jongdae-oppa keep insisting you're harmless, but not everyone believes it."
"I'm not," he says, as if that will make a difference. "I just...I wondered, I guess. Sorry. Nevermind."
There's a few more beats of silence before Kyuhyun says, "Who wouldn't? Think about it, that is. But it's just thinking, and if you are a plant, you can tell your bosses they have nothing to worry about. Not here, anyway." There's just a hint of harshness to his tone, a subtle undercurrent of anger that says it's more lack of opportunity than lack of desire to escape that keeps them here, but Junmyeon pretends not to hear it.
"I'll do that," he says, hoping it's okay to joke about it, and he's relieved when the other two laugh, the awkward moment broken.
"You'd probably make a terrible spy," Kyuhyun comments dryly as they turn back to their task, and Junmyeon laughs again and tries not to think about how he just might test out that theory soon.
* * *
The message he's been waiting for finally comes in the form of an envelope with Junmyeon's name on it, delivered not to his apartment but to his parents' home. "There's no address on it, just your name," his mom tells him over the phone. "Somebody must have dropped it off. Should I open it?"
"No, I'll come get it tonight," Junmyeon says. He hopes his voice is steady, even though his heart is pounding with anticipation and fear. This has to be it.
He goes to get the letter as soon as he finishes classes for the day. "Do you know who it's from?" his mom asks. "I was so surprised when I found it. Why would anyone hand deliver a letter for you to here?"
"It's probably just a joke," he says dismissively. "One of my friends being weird."
She accepts his explanation, and he hurries home, finally opening the envelope in the safety of his own apartment. There's a letter inside, typed, with no name at the top or the bottom. It's not long, and he wonders if it'll really answer his questions or just leave him with more. Swallowing down his nervousness, he starts to read.
I apologize again for the secrecy, but when you're planning the kind of things we are, it's necessary. I hope this letter made it to you safely without anyone else reading it.
You still haven't said that you'd like to help our cause, but I'm assuming from your e-mails that you are sympathetic. If you don't want to get involved, destroy this letter now and forget you ever heard from me, for both our sakes. Otherwise, keep reading.
As you've probably guessed, there is a movement concerned with the rights of Sirens. Some people are trying to work within the government to help their legal standing and conditions in the Siren communities, but that's not going well recently, so many of us have started looking for more immediate solutions before things get really bad. And believe me, it's looking like they will, so this is necessary.
We do have some connections to the Siren camps, but there's more oversight on guards and other employees than on the volunteers, so we felt it would be valuable to try to recruit some to help us. Even if you don't want to get involved directly, you might be able to provide us with useful information about the camps and the residents.
If you're willing to help us, next time you go by the volunteer office, leave a note saying "yes" on the bookshelf in the waiting area. Our contact there will be in touch with you after that. We hope for your cooperation in working toward what's right.
It doesn't tell him much more than he's already heard, but it makes it concrete, the possibility of him getting involved in these illicit activities. He has a decision to make now, whether he feels strongly enough and is brave enough to go somewhere with the thoughts he's been having about wanting to help the Sirens he's come to know.
He stays up most of the night thinking about it, and continues through his drive to the Siren camp the next day, running through the same thoughts over and over. He knows he doesn't like how Sirens are treated, and if they really are in danger, he likes it even less. He knows that he wants to help, but he doesn't know if he really has it in him to take the next step when helping means some serious rule breaking, or even law-breaking. He signed a contract promising not to share information about the Siren camp, so he could get in genuine trouble if he does, and this could easily go beyond just giving information. This is big and it scares him.
He doesn't want a repeat of the previous week, so he tries his best to act normal and not get lost in his thoughts, but it's even harder now. He spends the time before lunch in the library with Jongdae and Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo is content to read, barely acknowledging that he's not alone, but Jongdae seems confused by Junmyeon's relative silence. "Is something wrong?" he asks. "You were really distracted last week too."
"It's nothing," Junmyeon tells him with his best reassuring smile.
Jongdae gives him a measuring look, not fooled for a second. He knows Junmyeon too well now. "You can talk to us too, hyung. It doesn't have to go all one way. We're friends, right?"
That's the perfect thing to say to make Junmyeon feel guilty if he brushes it off, and he has a feeling Jongdae knows that. Not that he's insincere, but he knows by now which buttons to push. "It's really not a big deal," he insists. "I just need to make a decision about something and I'm having a hard time."
"Well, maybe we can help you," Jongdae says, glancing over at Kyungsoo who's still looking at his book but probably listening.
"It's just..." Junmyeon frowns, trying to find a way to phrase this that won't give anything away. "Have you ever had something that you feel like you should do and you want to do it, but you don't know if you can?"
"You don't think you're capable or you're too scared?" Jongdae asks, right to the point.
It's not easy to say, but Jongdae's right: they have become friends and he should be able to trust them. "I'm scared," he admits. "It's a big thing and it could go badly. I don't know if I'm capable either, but being scared is what's holding me back from trying."
"I can't really give you advice if you don't want to say more, but I'd say some things are worth doing no matter how scary they are. You have to decide if this is one of those things. And, you know...making decisions is hard, but you're lucky to be able to. Don't forget that." Jongdae casts another glance at Kyungsoo, who's stopped pretending to read, again, and there's something in the look that Junmyeon can't understand. He feels it again, the divide between their world and his. In this moment, for some reason, it makes him feel a little lonely.
Then Jongdae smiles to soften his words, and throws an arm around Junmyeon's shoulders in a comforting gesture. "From what I know of you, I think you're brave enough to do anything, if it matters enough. Don't forget that either."
He thinks about Jongdae's words as he heads home that night. It's true that he's lucky to have choices, and he should make the ones he knows are right. Besides, he's been going to the Siren camp long enough to get to know a lot of people there, to make real friends. Even if he didn't care about the rights of Sirens in general, he couldn't chicken out when his friends are in danger and he could do something to help. He has to do this, and hopefully once he does, he'll find out that Jongdae was also right about him being brave enough after all.
* * *
Three days later, Junmyeon stops by the volunteer office to drop off some paperwork. In his pocket is a scrap of paper with only one word on it. On his way out, ignoring the pounding of his heart as best as he can, he draws it out of his pocket and slips it on top of the books on the middle shelf. He's expecting someone to yell at him, even though he's done nothing obviously wrong, but no one says a word, so he hurries out without looking back.
He makes it safely out the door and into his car, shaking with nerves but determined. He's made his decision, done what he knows he needs to do. Now all he can do is wait to see what will come of it.
This time, the response appears in his mailbox, no envelope, just a small piece of paper folded in half that he almost misses among the junk mail. He unfolds it and reads the straightforward information: a place, a date and a time. He recognizes the name of the bar, and the date is this Friday, 9:30 p.m. Below that is one sentence: You'll meet a friend from the office.
His mysterious e-mail contact mentioned a connection to the volunteer program, and it seems likely that they have someone in the office since that's where Junmyeon was told to leave his note, but he doesn't have any idea who it could be. Nobody he's met there looks suspicious, but they wouldn't be very good at what they're doing if they were obviously up to something.
It's scary, facing the unknown like this, but in a way he feels better now that things have been set in motion. He doesn't know what to expect, but this has been a long time coming, and he's ready as he'll ever be to find out.
* * *
He walks into the bar and is immediately shocked by how crowded it is. That's to be expected in a bar on a Friday night, but why in the world would anyone set up a clandestine meeting to talk about illegal activities in a place like this? Surely they're going to get caught. He almost freaks out and walks right back out, but some steel he didn't know he had in his backbone stops him. He's come this far; he can't back out now, especially knowing what's at stake.
He stops by the bar for a drink he probably won't touch and then walks around, looking for a familiar face. He's assuming his contact is someone from the volunteer office, but that could mean anyone from the grumpy middle-aged woman he checks his schedule with each month to the janitor he keeps running into in the hallway. Nobody there has particularly struck him as looking like a revolutionary.
Finally, when he's starting to get worried that he won't find them in the crowd, he spots a young man in a corner, smiling and talking to two women at the next table over. It takes a moment to figure out why he looks familiar, but then Junmyeon recognizes him. He's never actually talked to him, but he's seen him behind the counter in the volunteer office, chatting with the other workers and occasionally doing some filing. That has to be who he's looking for, but this casually-dressed guy with a goofy smile who can't be any older than Junmyeon isn't at all what he's expecting.
Still, there's no one else, so he uncertainly makes his way over. The man stops talking and says to the women, "Ah, finally my friend is here. It was nice talking to you."
They say goodbye and move away, which makes Junmyeon feel a little better even though there are still several people close enough that they might be able to hear them over the music. "Hi," he says, feeling a little silly for it, as he sits down.
"Hi!" the man says, weirdly cheerful. "I already know your name, so I guess it's only fair to introduce myself. Park Chanyeol."
"Kim Junmyeon," he says automatically, even though Chanyeol said he didn't need the introduction. "Nice to meet you. I mean...I've seen you, but I don't think we've ever spoken."
"No," Chanyeol confirms. "I mostly listen when I'm there."
"But I always see you talking to people," Junmyeon points out.
"You'd be surprised what you can hear when people think you're not paying attention," Chanyeol says. He's smiling widely, but Junmyeon's starting to wonder if that's not a front. Who would suspect someone grinning like such an idiot of anything? Who would think he was saying anything worth listening in on? He's still thinking about that when Chanyeol continues, "I wasn't sure you'd come, even after the note. You seem really skittish."
"I just...I've never done anything like this before." Junmyeon glances warily around, probably proving Chanyeol's point.
"Me neither," Chanyeol says. "Until I got into this, that is. That's okay. You'll get used to it."
"And what is this, exactly?" Junmyeon asks, lowering his voice even though no one seems to be paying attention to them. It feels really strange to be talking about this in public.
"It depends on how much we can trust you."
And what about how much I can trust you? Junmyeon thinks. It's hard to suspect someone like Chanyeol of being out to get him, but isn't that the point?
"To start with, we'd just like you to give us some information," Chanyeol continues. "If you want to stop at that, it's all good. There's no commitment. If you want to get in deeper, we'll see what you can do."
"Who's 'we?'" Junmyeon asks, not really expecting an answer.
Chanyeol laughs, overly loudly. A few people glance their way, then turn away again, uninterested. "To tell you the truth, I don't know. I've only met a few people, and only one who's any higher up the chain than me. It's safer that way, in case someone talks or gets caught." He laughs again, more quietly and with less humor. "They send me out for recruiting since it wouldn't do much damage if I got turned in by someone."
"I'm not asking you to name names," Junmyeon says, a little impatient. He's nervous and he wants to get this over with and get out of here. "I just mean who are you? What do you do?"
"All kinds of things," Chanyeol says with another chuckle. "Sorry, I don't mean to be cagey but I don't know much either. Basically, we try to help our friends, however we can. Right now we're trying to learn as much about their homes as we can so that if they need to move, we'll be ready to help them."
It takes Junmyeon a moment to decode that, even if it's pretty obvious. They're preparing to help Sirens escape? It makes sense, really, if the Sirens are in danger, and whoever e-mailed him did ask if he thinks Sirens deserve to live free, but it still comes as a shock. It's one thing to hypothetically consider escape and another to be actively working toward it, even if they're only planning now.
"Look a little less bug eyed and a little more like you're having a fun conversation in a bar," Chanyeol tells him, sounding more genuinely amused this time.
"Sorry." Junmyeon attempts to school his face into a more cheerful, less freaked out expression, and it must work well enough since Chanyeol doesn't comment further. "So how does it work? Do I tell you stuff here?" Even if no one seems to be paying them much attention, that seems like a bad idea, out in the open.
"Passing notes is better. I'll explain how you'll get them to us later, but first let me explain the code you need to use."
And that's how Junmyeon spends the next hour and a half making casual, non-suspicious conversation in between learning how to write coded messages and what to do after he writes them. Chanyeol tells him he can't take notes, so he concentrates as hard as he can. He's always been a good student, able to retain a lot of information, so he just has to hope his memory will work equally well for this.
He leaves the bar confused, not because he doesn't understand what he needs to but because it feels more like his night was spent making a new friend than committing himself to some kind of underground resistance. It doesn't seem like something big happened, but it most definitely did. He just hopes he won't come to regret it.
* * *
Junmyeon spends the next day at home, painstakingly encoding as much information as he can about the Siren camp he's visited. He writes about the guards, the layout, the inhabitants, the security, anything that seems like it could be important and some that probably isn't. Chanyeol told him that even seemingly insignificant details could turn out to be useful.
He's alone in his apartment and as far as he knows no one is spying on him, but his heart still pounds. Like he told Chanyeol, he's never done anything like this before. He was a kid who asked for permission to run away from home and here he is breaking a lot more than just his parents' rules. But he's committed, and so he tries his best to focus on the immediate task of writing out what he knows and not on what it means, for him and for the camp and everyone in it.
He drops his letter off the next day, just off a busy street full of people out shopping on a nice Sunday. He's nervous, but even if anyone finds the letter by some chance, they won't be able to read it. He has to trust that the members of this mysterious underground know what they're doing and the information will get where it needs to go.
He heads to the Siren camp right after, feeling strange but also a lot more relaxed than the last two weeks. By all rights he should be more worried and distracted now, but he feels a certain relief that comes with knowing his decision has been made, and some satisfaction with knowing he's actually done something to make a difference. It's easier not to dwell on it now.
"Did you make up your mind about that thing you were being all secretive about last week?" Jongdae asks him at lunch. Baekhyun, who always has to know all the gossip, immediately perks up, wanting to hear what he missed.
"I did," Junmyeon says with a grin. "Thanks for your advice."
"It was good, wasn't it?" Jongdae jokes, then yelps as Kyungsoo does something to him under the table.
"Do we get to find out what it is, if you've figured it out?" Baekhyun asks.
"No." Junmyeon ignores the pouts he gets in response from both Baekhyun and Jongdae. "Maybe someday." It would probably be best if an escape turns out to be unnecessary and they never have to find out what he's doing, but there's no telling what the future will bring.
"He doesn't trust us." Jongdae turns on the melodrama, sticking out his lower lip and rubbing at one eye with a fist like he's crying. For just a second, Junmyeon misses the days when Jongdae didn't like him.
"And here I thought we were friends," Baekhyun joins in, comically, exaggeratedly sad.
"Oh, shut up," Taeyeon says, breaking off her conversation further down the table to hush them. Baekhyun sticks his tongue out at her and Jongdae flashes his most charming smile, but she just pointedly turns around and goes back to her previous conversation, unaffected.
"At least you tolerate us a lot more than some people," Jongdae says, grinning.
"Yes, well, it's not so hard for a few hours a week," Junmyeon teases.
"Ouch." Baekhyun mimes a stab to the heart and Jongdae smacks his arm, but they don't even try to hide their amusement.
Junmyeon looks across the table at Baekhyun and Kyungsoo (who's smiling too, small but unguarded), and at Jongdae leaning against him as he laughs, and he feels good. As scary as all of this is, as much as he's afraid of where it'll lead, he knows he's made the right decision getting involved. That these guys who've been through so much more than he can imagine are still smiling like this is remarkable. It has to be right to do what he can to help them keep smiling.
* * *
He receives a reply to his first letter asking for more details, and another and another, and by his fourth time dropping off a message, he almost feels comfortable with it. It's a bit of a thrill, even, feeling like he's some kind of super spy giving and getting orders instead of just a university student passing information about the physical condition of the Siren camp residents and guards.
Some two months after his first information drop, Junmyeon is leaving the volunteer office when someone calls after him, "Excuse me, sir, I think you dropped this."
He turns to find Chanyeol holding an envelope. It's not Junmyeon's and he very nearly says so before he thinks, Oh, duh. Some super spy he is. He accepts the envelope with a thank you and tucks it safely in his pocket. Chanyeol has never interacted with him here before, so if he's doing it now, whatever he's handing over is probably important.
Junmyeon has to go to class from there, and it's only that night when he gets home that he can finally find out what's in the envelope. It's only a single piece of paper, and he's surprised to see that there's very little written on it. It's time, it says. Will you help us? It would mean a lot.
As cryptic as it is, it's obvious what it means. He knows they've been planning escape, probably since long before Junmyeon got involved, and either they're ready or something is forcing them to move forward regardless. It was always the end game, even if Junmyeon didn't expect it to come so soon.
But too soon or not, it's here and he has to decide if he wants to be a part of it. Writing information down is easy, relatively low risk. Being directly, actively involved in helping Sirens escape is a whole different story, and Junmyeon doesn't know if he has the nerve for it. If they get caught, there will be serious consequences. This would be breaking the law, not just his volunteer contract.
On the other hand, the note makes it sound like his help could be important, like it would make a difference. If he's too scared to participate and they try and fail, that'll be a lot to live with. They're not likely to get a second chance, and staying in the camp could mean death or worse for everyone there. Maybe if they were strangers, he could put his safety above theirs, but they're not. He cares too much to sit back and watch.
When it comes down to it, he realizes, he made his decision as soon as he agreed to give information, or as soon as he got involved at all. Knowing that there's a chance for the Sirens to get free and that he can help that happen, he has to do it, however much it scares him. He's in too deep for anything else.
* * *
The next morning, he leaves a note with the same procedure he's been using. All it says is, Yes.
* * *
He meets Chanyeol for a riverside walk to hear his part of the plan. It's cold enough at night that there aren't many people out, and Junmyeon tugs his hat lower and tries his best to focus. There'll be nothing written down, so he has to remember. There's no room for mistakes.
"Are you up for this?" Chanyeol asks after a while. "You're not going to panic and screw things up?"
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Junmyeon says dryly, a little hurt even though it's a valid question.
"Nothing personal," Chanyeol quickly assures him. "But you're still really new to this. I was so nervous at the beginning, and I wasn't doing anything nearly this big."
"I can do it," Junmyeon says stubbornly. "This is too important to screw up. I know that." Chanyeol accepts that with a nod, so Junmyeon asks, "Are you going to be there?"
"I'm strictly behind the scenes this time," Chanyeol tells him.
Junmyeon knows better than to ask for details. He knows better than to ask his next question too, but he does anyway. "Is it...how big is this? Is it just this one location or all over?"
Chanyeol looks at him with that goofy, vacant expression that tells Junmyeon he's not getting any answer out of him even before he speaks. "As far as you're concerned, it's exactly as big as what I just told you. Nothing else matters."
It's about what he expected to hear, and it's probably for the best. He's got enough to worry about playing his part without thinking about what's going on in the other camps around the country. He'll find out soon enough.
* * *
The night before the escape plan goes into action, Junmyeon is so nervous he can't sleep, and the more he tells himself he needs to sleep if he wants to be alert enough, the harder it is to actually sleep. His mind drifts, running over what he needs to do again and again, and thinking about all the ways it could go wrong, wondering about the aftermath and if tomorrow will be the last day he sees anyone from the camp. It seems likely, either because they'll be off to a safe place he'll never learn about or because he won't be allowed to go there again. It's for the best, but it makes him sad too. He didn't expect it going in, but it feels like he actually made friends there.
He finally manages to drift off a little before sunrise, and he wakes up tired but determined. He's never been involved in anything nearly this important or this risky, and he never thought he would be, but he's going to do it right. He has to, for his own sake and that of the Sirens and everyone else involved.
He drives to the camp the way he always does, the route familiar by now even though the scenery has changed with the passing seasons. He parks his car in his usual spot and locks the door as usual but unlocks the trunk. There's nothing obviously suspicious in it, just a laptop inside a case. He leaves it there in the slightly-ajar trunk and heads inside.
The guards at the gate know him well by now. They barely look up to make sure it's him before contacting the warden, who can check the security camera and buzz him through. It's strange, that it's so easy for him to get in and out when it'll be so hard for the Sirens. He supposes that's why his involvement is important: even if security here doesn't seem all that serious for him, not just anyone could get in.
The worst part is the waiting. The plan is to break out at the end of lunchtime, giving Junmyeon a chance to spread the word to all the Sirens and his unknown accomplices time to get the outside door open. To keep anyone from being suspicious, he has to act normal until then. It's only an hour and a half, but that's more than enough time for him to get very worked up.
He sits in the common room and tries to keep the worry off his face as he watches the Sirens. Some are fighting with the TV that's once again stopped working. Others are reading on couches or chairs, or talking in small groups. None of them have any idea what's coming, that this might be their last day in this room and this camp that they've spent so many years in.
Closer to Junmyeon, Ryeowook and Baekhyun are telling some story that he's completely lost track of. Whatever it is, they find it very funny, and so do Kyungsoo and Jongdae and everyone else who's listening. It makes it harder, in a way, seeing them looking happy, because no matter what happens, this escape will throw their lives into disorder. It would be easier, if not necessarily better, if everything could stay the same.
And selfishly, a part of him wishes it would, not because he wants the Sirens to be stuck in this camp forever but because he doesn't want to say goodbye. Jongdae turns to share a smile with him over whatever the hell it is they're laughing about (which Junmyeon is only pretending to pay any attention to), and no matter how much he tells himself it's for the best that Jongdae and the others will be going free, the thought that he'll never see that smile again after today settles like a heavy weight in his chest.
He's relieved when a guard stops by the room and puts him and a few others to work carrying boxes of supplies so there's something to distract him from thinking about what's coming and give him an excuse not to talk much. It doesn't matter how he feels about it; this is escape needs to happen, and it's going to happen soon.
At last, lunch time arrives and he heads to the dining hall, trying to remember to breathe. It's exactly noon and they're supposed to be at the gate at 12:20. According to the schedule Chanyeol gave him, he's supposed to tell the Sirens only ten minutes before to avoid causing a stir that will get noticed and ruin everything before they even get started. It's cutting it close, but he has to hope that it's enough.
Junmyeon's just about to walk into the dining hall when a guard calls his name. His heart tries to pound its way out of his chest, but he manages (he hopes) to keep a straight face as he asks, "Yes?"
"Can you take a tray down to solitary? You might have to put it together since we weren't expecting to have anyone in there at lunch today."
"What happened?" Junmyeon asks worriedly. This is exactly the kind of wrinkle that could ruin everything.
"The usual," the guard says with a laugh, like it's nothing, like this isn't a potential disaster that Junmyeon's not prepared to deal with. "I don't know why that kid can't seem to stop humming when he knows what'll happen if he does."
Oh no, Junmyeon thinks. Of course it would be Jongdae, because no one else has been in solitary the entire time he's been coming here, but why today, why now? There's no time for this.
"Okay?" the guard asks impatiently. "You'll do it?"
"Of course," Junmyeon says, flashing what he hopes is a convincing smile even though he's panicking on the inside. "No problem."
The guard moves away and Junmyeon checks his watch. 12:02. What is he supposed to do? He needs to go into the dining hall and be ready to spread the word, but there's a risk the guards will notice if he's not doing what he's supposed to. And more than that, there's Jongdae, locked up in solitary. The expedient thing to do would be to write him off as a necessary loss, to put the lives of the other forty-two residents above one, but when the one is Jongdae, his friend, one of the main reasons why he's even involved in this at all, that's a lot harder to do. He's no battle commander, ready to make those kinds of ruthless decisions.
He walks into the dining hall and spots Baekhyun and Kyungsoo and the others sitting in their usual place, but sure enough, no Jongdae. Baekhyun waves him over and Junmyeon walks over to them, struggling to calm down enough to think clearly. It's 12:04. There's no time for indecision. "Did you hear Jongdae got himself thrown in solitary again?" Baekhyun asks, laughing, as Junmyeon sits down even though he hasn't gotten any food. "That guy..."
Junmyeon doesn't laugh, doesn't even smile, just finds himself saying, "I need you to listen to me."
Baekhyun's brow furrows, and everyone else within hearing range looks over in confusion at his serious, urgent tone. "What's wrong?" Baekhyun asks.
"We don't have a lot of time," Junmyeon says, trying to keep his voice even. There's one guard in the room, but he's spacing out in the corner, clearly not feeling the need to pay attention when there's never been any trouble before. "There's..." He breaks off, takes a deep breath. "Just pretend I'm talking to you about something normal, okay? There's a plan to get you out of here, and it's going to happen in..." He checks his watch again. "In fifteen minutes. I need you to help spread the word without any guards noticing that you all need to go to the main gate at 12:20."
"Wait, what do you mean get us out of here?" Shock is written all over Baekhyun's face, but then he catches himself and pastes a more neutral expression over it.
"Exactly what it sounds like." There's no time,, a voice in the back of Junmyeon's head keeps repeating, frantic. There's no time for this. "I'm going to, I mean, with a lot of help from the outside, we're going to get all of you out of here. You just need to get to the gate on time."
"What's the point? The warden's the only one who can open the gate," Taeyeon points out, "and you know we can't make him do it."
"You won't have to," Junmyeon responds, "if everything goes how it's supposed to. There are people taking care of it." He really hopes they are, anyway. "But you need to be there, ready to go."
"But why would we run?" Kyungsoo's voice is soft, but his question cuts right to the point. "It's not great here, but there's nothing good waiting for us out there, and if we get caught..."
"He's right," Ryeowook agrees. "We're safe here, and we won't be out there."
"You're not." Junmyeon struggles to keep the impatience out of his voice. The minutes are ticking down and there are still so many people to tell, and Jongdae is still in solitary, out of reach. "You're not safe here. The government is planning to start doing experiments on Sirens, and maybe worse. I don't know the details, but it's going to get bad if you don't get out."
"How do you know?" Baekhyun asks flatly. "Why should we believe you?"
"Have I given you any reason to doubt me? Please, there's no time. Come or don't, but you have to decide now," Junmyeon pleads. He looks around at the now-familiar faces and sees the doubt and uncertainty. He can't fault them for it. They may not be happy here, but they're comfortable, and this will change everything. "I know it's a lot to ask of you to take this risk, but I wouldn't do it if I didn't think it was necessary. You have to trust me."
There's a moment of silence that seems to stretch out forever, but in the end it's Kyungsoo who says, "Let's do it. If we wait until we know for sure, it'll be too late, right?"
Junmyeon doesn't wait for the rest to agree, just jumps in to say, "Tell as many people as you can, whoever you can trust, and get to the gate at 12:20. If the others did their jobs, it should be open. There's a clearing in the mountains about two kilometers northeast of the camp. If you go there, help should be waiting."
"And what are you going to do?" Baekhyun asks, confused.
"I'm going to take lunch to solitary," Junmyeon says, like it's nothing, like he's not utterly terrified.
"Shit, Jongdae." Baekhyun's eyes go wide as he remembers. "What are you going to do?"
And therein lies the problem, that Junmyeon has no plan for that. It's 12:08 and he doesn't know how to open the cell door in solitary to get Jongdae out. It's only the gate to the outside that requires the warden's code, as far as he knows, but he's never seen anyone open the doors on the solitary cells. The only thing he can think of is that he'll have to convince a guard to either open the door or tell him what to do, and he doesn't have a clue how to do that.
The Sirens are still looking at him expectantly, so he says, "I'll figure something out. Just get to the gate, and...don't wait for us." It's a scary thing to say, because Junmyeon being a martyr to the cause was definitely not in the plan, but there's no time to think too hard about that. It's now or never.
"Good luck," Baekhyun says as he gets up, and Junmyeon doesn't look back, just goes to the front of the room and hurriedly loads a tray with food. As he walks back out, he sees the Sirens he talked to at other tables, whispering urgently, and the guard still oblivious in the corner. He's done everything he can here, so he'll just have to hope that they'll get everyone on board in time and without getting caught.
He wants to run to solitary, but he can't do anything that'll arouse suspicion if he's seen, so he forces himself to walk at a normal pace even as the precious seconds tick by. It's not far, at least, and at 12:10 he unlocks the outside door and hurries down the stairs. Jongdae is awake, thankfully, so he doesn't have to worry about that. His mouth is moving, probably singing, the idiot. If only the cells weren't soundproof, he could make a guard open the door, but that would defeat the point of solitary, wouldn't it?
He stops singing and smiles widely when he sees Junmyeon, nothing at all like the first time they met, but there's no time to think about that. Junmyeon drops the tray without a care and Jongdae stares at him, his smile gone.
He mouths a question, but Junmyeon doesn't waste time trying to figure it out, mashing his finger into the button to open the slot in the door. There's a single camera trained on the cells, but it's behind him and it doesn't transmit sound, so he feels safe speaking freely. "I need to get you out of here," he says, talking quickly since the slot won't stay open long. "How?"
He pushes the button again to allow him to hear Jongdae ask, "What?"
"How does the door open?" Junmyeon gets out before the slot slams closed again.
Another push, and Jongdae says, "A code for that panel on your right. I don't know it."
Shit, Junmyeon thinks, though it's no surprise. "All the guards know?" he asks. Jongdae nods.
It's 12:12. He tries to think of a lie he could tell a guard to get the door open quickly but comes up empty, and even if he could think of something, it'll take time to track down and convince a guard, time he doesn't have.
Jongdae gestures for him to push the button again, and Junmyeon does since he's a at a loss for what else to do. "What's going on?" Jongdae asks.
"Escape," Junmyeon manages just before the slot closes.
Jongdae stares at him. Another jab to the button lets him ask, "What?" clearly shocked.
"There's no time to explain," Junmyeon manages, and pushes again to say, "Everyone's getting out, now."
Just before the slot closes again, Jongdae says, "Then go."
Now it's Junmyeon's turn to stare. The shock has faded from Jongdae's expression, replaced by a worrying determination. Junmyeon shakes his head vigorously, but Jongdae gives him a look that eloquently says, You're an idiot.
He knows it's true, knows that he should get out and help the others. There's nothing he can do here, and he's wasting precious time denying that, but he can't face the thought of leaving Jongdae here to suffer whatever the government has planned. He doesn't want to leave anyone, but someone he hardly knows, maybe even anyone but Jongdae, he might be able to. But sheer horror grips him at the thought of leaving Jongdae behind and he can't argue with that.
Jongdae is looking at him with an expression full of defiance and resignation, and a sort of plea in his eyes, and Junmyeon knows what he needs to do no matter how much he doesn't want to do it. Jongdae won't forgive him if the escape fails because of him. Go, Jongdae mouths, too clearly for him to pretend not to understand, and then, Please.
He's seconds from giving in when suddenly, the door opens. Junmyeon jumps a mile, then whirls around to see one of the guards standing in the doorway. "What's going on?" the man asks. "I saw you drop the tray on the security camera. Did he try something?"
He was so careful, but apparently not careful enough. If he were a better liar, better at thinking on his feet, maybe he'd be able to think of something to say to explain it away and get the guard to open the door, but he's only an ordinary university student playing at being a hero, so he panics.
He panics, and that's the only explanation he has for what happens next, which is that when he opens his mouth to make some excuse, any excuse at all, he starts to sing.
It makes a certain amount of sense. Everyone is afraid of singing these days, and the guards here, for all that they claim their charges are harmless, have more reason than most for fear. Maybe the guard will be startled enough by the sound of singing to hesitate and Junmyeon will be able to physically stop him somehow. He starts to move forward with the intention of doing that, even though the guard is a lot bigger than him, and he's right in front of the guard before he realizes something very strange: the other man hasn't moved an inch since Junmyeon started singing.
He goes silent, shocked, as the significance of that sinks in. The guard stirs and barely starts to reach for the radio at his belt before another voice starts to sing. It's a male voice, stronger and a lot more sure than Junmyeon's, and when he looks up he sees Kyungsoo standing behind the guard. He gestures for Junmyeon to move aside, which he does so quickly that he's not sure if Kyungsoo is controlling him or if he just knows there's no time to waste.
What he is sure of is that Kyungsoo is controlling the guard, who moves mindlessly toward the cells, staring straight ahead. He goes right to the number pad and punches in a code, then pushes the top button, and just like that, the door springs open.
"What the hell—?" Jongdae asks as he gets to his feet immediately and hurries out into the room, but he breaks off when the guard suddenly slumps to the floor.
Kyungsoo stops singing a second later, and Junmyeon stares at him. "Did you...?" he asks, looking over at the guard and then back at Kyungsoo. For all that he was wary of Kyungsoo at first, he can't believe he'd actually hurt anyone.
"I only told him to go to sleep," Kyungsoo assures him. Now that he's stopped singing, he looks a little shaken after intentionally using his power for what's most likely the first time. His gaze lingers on the unconscious guard for a moment longer before he snaps out of it and says, "Let's get out of here before he wakes up."
Junmyeon checks his watch. It's 12:17. "We have to hurry," he says, and immediately takes off running.
As they emerge from the solitary building, a loud noise suddenly starts blaring continuously. The alarm, Junmyeon realizes. It's not surprising by now that the guards have realized something's going on, but it adds an even greater sense of urgency. He picks up his pace, running full out and hoping the other two can keep up.
There's a lot of open space leading up to the main gate, so he can see the crowd of people gathered around it before they get there. He doesn't waste time looking at his watch again, but he knows it must be almost time. What will they do if the gate isn't open? The Sirens are here because they trusted him, and if it goes wrong...
When he gets closer, he realizes it's not the gate that's the problem but a group of guards blocking the way. There's only five of them, but they have guns drawn, looking genuinely threatening for the first time in Junmyeon's experience. Even with guns, it's five of them against a mob, and Junmyeon's afraid of what will happen if it comes to a fight. He doesn't want blood on anyone's hands.
But why should it come to a physical fight when the Sirens have a much greater weapon than their bodies? He can't tell who starts it, but one voice rises in song, and almost immediately others join, until the chorus rings out over the camp. Even if the guards have earplugs in, even with the blaring of the alarm, they have to be able to hear that. Junmyeon realizes with a start that they're singing the national anthem, the song that all children sing for their Siren tests. How long has it been since he heard it like this, as it should be, so many voices joined together?
He doesn't have time to dwell on that because the guards have dropped their guns and are moving aside. The power of the Sirens' voices must be focused on the guards because Junmyeon doesn't feel anything as he pushes his way to the front of the group, Kyungsoo and Jongdae following, until he finds himself in front of the gate.
Baekhyun is up there and he abruptly stops singing to say, "There you are!" He looks incredibly relieved even though they're not out of danger yet.
He opens his mouth to say something else, but Junmyeon cuts in, "Let's go." There's no time to waste. He holds his breath and reaches up to open the gate...and lets it out in a huge sigh of relief as it falls open and stays that way. "Follow me," he calls, and then heads toward where their escort is hopefully waiting.
The singing fades out as they slip through the gate two or three at a time and start to run. Everything seems to be going smoothly at last, but then Junmyeon hears a commotion behind them.
He stops so abruptly that Jongdae almost runs into him, both of them turning around to see movement by the gate. Someone is pushing through the Sirens still by the gate, and though a few voices rise in song again, it doesn't seem to have any effect. It must be the warden, Junmyeon realizes. Their voices are useless against the deaf man.
Before Junmyeon can decide what to do, the warden pushes into the guard booth next to the gate, and too quickly, the gate slams closed with at least fifteen Sirens on the wrong side.
Junmyeon stares, horrified. Most of the others are still running, even without him leading them in the right direction, and he's torn between turning back and trying to help or doing his best to save everyone who's made it out. Neither choice is a good one, and he freezes until Jongdae tugs his arm. "We have to go," he says, voice heavy with sadness but firm. "We can't get that gate open from out here. The only thing we can do is get away and try to come back for them."
Junmyeon knows that's not likely to happen, and he suspects Jongdae does too, but he nods his agreement. What else can he do? They start to run again, trying to catch up to the others, but most are already disappearing into the tree line and Junmyeon's afraid he'll lose them. Kyungsoo is no longer near them, and he doesn't see Baekhyun and the others who were near the front anywhere. They're moving in more or less the right direction, but will they be able to find the meeting spot on their own?
It's like he can feel success slipping through his fingers. Over a third of the Siren population has been left behind in the camp, and the others are scattering, probably too scared to think about where they're going. The warden is sure to call in reinforcements, and they need to get away from the camp quickly if they want to avoid recapture. It may not be his plan, but he still feels responsible. The Sirens went along with it because they trusted him. He can't let this go any more wrong.
It's eerily quiet once they get into the trees, even the loud alarm either turned off or too far away to hear. Junmyeon starts to despair of finding anyone at all when they suddenly spot two figures in the distance. "Hey!" Jongdae yells, even if it may not be the best idea, and they stop and turn around.
"Where the hell did you go?" comes the yelled response, and Junmyeon laughs with relief as he realizes it's Baekhyun, and Taeyeon with him.
They don't waste time on a reunion, hurrying toward their destination. They pick up Kyuhyun a few minutes later, and then Soojung with her sister Sooyeon and another girl Junmyeon barely knows who the others greet as Sunyoung. Only seven, Junmyeon thinks; where is everyone?
He's also starting to worry that they'll never find the clearing where he's supposed to meet his unknown collaborators, but then at last there's a break in the trees and he sees four people standing in the clearing. He recognizes Jinki and Kyungsoo, who gets a tight hug from Baekhyun (which he allows for a few seconds before responding with an elbow in the ribs).
The other two are unfamiliar, and they introduce themselves as Sehun and Jongin. They don't look nearly old enough to be involved in something like this, but they're here, and they have the laptop case from Junmyeon's trunk. "We'll wait a few more minutes and then we need to go," Jongin tells them. "We have a long way to go and we don't want to be here when the search party arrives."
Junmyeon looks around at their paltry group. Nine Sirens out of forty-three. Is this the best they can manage? It's not nothing, considering that he's never heard of a successful Siren escape before, but it's not enough, especially knowing what those left behind are likely to face.
He jumps when someone puts a hand on his back, and turns to see Jongdae. "Don't give up, hyung," he says, softening his grim expression with a small smile. "A lot of us got out, and even if not everyone finds their way here, they'll figure something out." It's not much comfort, but it makes Junmyeon smile, in the midst of everything, to have Jongdae who used to be so negative trying to cheer him up.
The remaining minutes tick by in silence until Sehun says, "That's it. We need to go." He doesn't look happy about it either, so Junmyeon bites back his objections. It's hard to leave with so few of the Sirens, but it would be much worse to wait too long and have them all get caught.
Sehun and Jongin lead them on a seemingly aimless path through the mountains, but they're walking with purpose so Junmyeon assumes they know where they're going. They walk mostly in silence, partly for safety, and partly, Junmyeon thinks, because they're all in shock. He is, and he's had time to mentally prepare for this. It must be even worse for the Sirens, who found out about the escape plan only minutes before it went into action.
They walk for the better part of an hour before finally emerging onto a dirt road with two vans parked on it. It doesn't seem like enough to transport over forty people, and a cynical part of Junmyeon wonders if they even really expected everyone to get out, but he pushes the thought aside. He doesn't know anything and it won't help to speculate. He just needs to focus on what's happening now, on getting safely away. Everything else can be dealt with later.
They split up, and Junmyeon finds himself in the back of Jongin's van with Baekhyun, Jongdae and Kyungsoo, with Kyuhyun riding shotgun. There are no seats in the back, just some cushions on the floor. Kyungsoo sits in the corner behind the driver's seat, his legs pulled up to his chest, and puts his head down on his arms, shutting out the world. Baekhyun frowns at him momentarily before sitting by himself near the back of the van.
Junmyeon takes the corner opposite Kyungsoo, and Jongdae comes over and sits next to him. It's some small comfort, as terrible as he feels about everyone who was left behind, that the people he cares most about made it out. He feels even more guilty for thinking that, as if the Sirens he doesn't know as well are less worthy of saving, but he can't help feeling it.
Almost like he knows what Junmyeon's thinking, Jongdae puts his head on his shoulder, leaning into him. "Thank you," he murmurs. "For coming to get me out. You're an idiot, but thank you." His voice catches, and Junmyeon wonders if he doesn't feel just as guilty for being safely out when others aren't. He puts an arm around Jongdae's back and doesn't try to respond, just lets them both take comfort in that.
No one else speaks for a while after that, even Baekhyun, the perpetual chatterbox, quiet as they drive along narrow mountain roads. The other van is nowhere to be seen, and when Junmyeon asks after a while, Jongin says they're taking a different route. "We're taking you to different places," he explains, "for safety."
They seem to be taking a roundabout route too. They stop briefly after an hour of driving for a bathroom break, during which Jongin makes a hushed phone call and the four Sirens try not to look like they haven't seen a fast-food restaurant in five years or more, and then continue for another two hours before finally stopping in front of a house in what Junmyeon thinks is the outskirts of Seoul.
"Get out here," Jongin tells them. "I'm going to take the van somewhere else."
"But..." Junmyeon protests uncertainly. He's never met Jongin before today and barely spoken to him, but Junmyeon's knowledge of the escape plan ended in that mountain clearing and he's been counting on Jongin to lead them since then.
"It's okay," Jongin tells him. "This is a safe house. There's a friend waiting for you. Someone you kind of know, actually."
That surprises Junmyeon. The only person involved in this underground resistance that he's met, aside from Sehun and Jongin today, is Chanyeol, and he said he wouldn't be involved this time. Could it be that someone else he knows is secretly involved? But before he can ask, Jongin is unlocking the doors, an obvious hint that it's time to get out. Baekhyun opens the back door and climbs out, so Junmyeon reluctantly follows.
The van pulls away as soon as they close the doors, but they're only left standing in the street for a moment before a door opens two houses down. "Hi! Glad you could make it," the man who steps out of it calls cheerfully.
Junmyeon exchanges glances with the Sirens, who look as confused as he feels. That's not exactly the kind of greeting he was expecting. But then, Chanyeol has taught him about hiding behind a smile, so he shouldn't be so surprised. He does his best to smile back as he asks, "Are you the friend we're supposed to meet?"
"That's me! Come in before you get cold." Junmyeon takes that as a hint that they should hurry inside, so he does that and the others follow his lead.
Once they're all inside the house, the man's face falls. "We knew getting everyone out would be asking a lot, but I'd hoped for better than this."
"I'm sorry," Junmyeon says, even though there's no indication that the man is blaming him.
"No, no," the man says hurriedly. "You did your part. Sometimes things just happen." He shakes his head a few more times, as if to emphasize the point. Then, "Anyway, come in and have a seat. You can rest for now."
They gather in the living room, Junmyeon sitting between Jongdae and Kyungsoo on the couch. They're still very quiet, but he supposes that's understandable. For all its issues, they were used to the camp after being there for so long. They're out of their element now, thrown back into a world they left as children.
"I guess I should introduce myself," the man says. "I'm Kim Minseok."
They all give their names, and it's only after he introduces himself that Junmyeon remembers something. "Jongin said I kind of know you," he tells Minseok, "unless there's someone else here. I don't remember meeting you."
That gets a little smile from Minseok. "You haven't met me, but we've talked. I sent you those e-mails and letters, and I sent Chanyeol to meet you."
"You?" Junmyeon asks, surprised. Minseok doesn't look nearly old enough to be telling Chanyeol what to do. Now that Junmyeon looks at him more closely, he looks like he could still be in high school.
"No offense, but aren't you, like, five?" Baekhyun asks. Junmyeon has to smile. Baekhyun has been uncharacteristically silent since they left the camp, so it's a relief to hear him sounding like his usual self. It makes it feel more like things are still okay, in spite of everything.
Minseok's smile turns rueful. "I get that a lot. I don't know about all of you, but I'm older than Junmyeon-ssi by a year."
It probably shouldn't surprise Junmyeon that Minseok knows his age, all things considered, so he settles for being surprised that Minseok is both older than he looks and younger than he'd expect someone in his position to be. "And you're Chanyeol's boss, or whatever you want to call it?" he asks skeptically.
Minseok shrugs. "I guess you could say that. I'm not very important either, but I'm as high up the chain as you're going to go for now."
"And just high up does this go?" Kyuhyun asks.
"That's not important," Minseok says. "I'm sure you can understand the need for secrecy." Then he laughs, a little awkward, and adds, "And to tell you the truth, I don't know either. It's safer that way."
He looks so cute and harmless as he laughs, but Junmyeon supposes that's an advantage. Who would suspect someone like Minseok of being involved in anti-government activities, much like Chanyeol with his dumb grins? Maybe that's part of why they wanted Junmyeon, because he doesn't look anything like a rebel.
"Can you at least tell us what's going to happen to us?" Kyuhyun presses. "It's great that you broke us out, but we won't be able to hide here forever, will we?"
"No," Minseok agrees, "you won't. That's why we're planning to get you out of the country."
"Out of the country?" Baekhyun echoes. "To where?"
"You'll find out later," Minseok says with an apologetic grimace. "But you'll be safe there." When Junmyeon looks at the Sirens, they don't look convinced, and he can't really blame them. Is there really any country in the world now where Sirens can be safe? And even if there is, how can they get there without getting caught?
Before any of them can say anything else, there's a sound through the wall, like something being dropped on the floor. It's not loud, but they all jump. Junmyeon looks to Minseok, ready to start panicking, but he not only doesn't look worried, he's shaking his head with a smile on his face. "I was going to wait to introduce you to our other guests," he says, "but I guess now's the time. Hang on."
He gets up and goes into the hallway. Junmyeon can't see him, but he hears a door open, and then Minseok says something in what he thinks might be Chinese. The answering "sorry" is in heavily-accented Korean. A few more words are exchanged, too quiet for Junmyeon to make out, and then there are footsteps and Minseok comes back into the room with two people trailing behind him.
The three of them settle on the other couch, and Junmyeon curiously looks them over. The one in the middle has his shoulders hunched and his eyes firmly fixed on the ground, too-long hair only partly concealing a pretty face. He looks young, but after Minseok, Junmyeon's not going to assume anything. The other one, who's looking back at them with a small but not unfriendly smile, has a more nondescript appearance, hair dyed a medium brown and an expression that doesn't say much of anything. Junmyeon wonders if it's affected to make him easily overlooked or if that's just him.
"This is Lu Han and Yixing," Minseok explains, gesturing to them in turn. "They came here from China. Lu Han understands some Korean but Yixing doesn't know much." He seems to be considering saying more, but then he just shrugs. "You can try to get to know them. You'll be spending some time together."
Yixing smiles a little wider even though he probably doesn't understand what Minseok's saying, but Lu Han doesn't react at all. Looking at the way he's curled in on himself and remembering what Minseok said in his e-mail about experiments in China, Junmyeon wonders what he's been through before coming here. Minseok hasn't said that either one of them is a Siren, but it's an easy enough conclusion to draw, given their presence here. It's harder to tell with Yixing; if he is a Siren too, it seems he's had an easier time of it.
Minseok quickly introduces the rest of them to Lu Han and Yixing before getting to his feet. "You guys can rest and get to know each other," he tells the room before he turns to Junmyeon. "Can I talk to you for a second?"
They go into a room that has only a bunk bed and a single chair. Minseok takes the chair, so Junmyeon sits on the bottom bunk. "I got a little information from Jongin and Sehun," he says once they're both seated, "but I'd like to get your report of the escape."
Junmyeon's been trying really hard not to think too much about what happened, and either he's good at denial or he's still kind of in shock because it's worked, but of course he can't keep that up forever. He nods, trying to get his thoughts together. "Things went mostly according to plan, but then the warden got to the gate as we were leaving, and he managed to get it locked again before everyone got out. There were fifteen, maybe twenty Sirens left inside, but we had to run."
Minseok nods, and he doesn't comment, but Junmyeon can see sympathy in his eyes that says he understands that it was both hard and necessary. "I don't really know what happened after that, but I guess people panicked and they scattered when they hit the trees. We couldn't find most of them, and then Jongin and Sehun said we couldn't wait. There are probably still a lot out there, if they haven't been captured."
"We're doing what we can about that," Minseok tells him. It's not much comfort, but it's good to know that they haven't given up on those left behind. "What about making it look like you were a hostage? Did you manage that?"
That had been the plan, to make Junmyeon look like an innocent victim so he could go back to his life in peace, but he threw that away without even thinking about it when he went to break Jongdae out. He frowns, which is answer enough for Minseok. "Tell me more about what happened. We might still be able to spin it to look like you got kidnapped, or like you were being controlled. Did anyone notice you explaining the plan?"
Junmyeon shakes his head. "The guard in the dining hall was practically sleeping on his feet. He didn't notice anything."
"And after that? Did anyone see any obvious signs that you were involved?"
Junmyeon hasn't said anything yet about getting Jongdae out of solitary, because that's what he wants to think about the least, but he can't avoid it any longer. "There was another problem with the plan, at the beginning. Jongdae got locked up in solitary at the last minute, so I told the Sirens about the escape a little early and then went to see if I could get him out."
"Out of solitary confinement?" Minseok asks, eyebrows jumping up. "How did you manage that?"
It's a good question, and one Junmyeon doesn't really have an answer for. He remembers singing and remembers the guard freezing in place and on some level he knows what that means, but he can't believe it. It's easier to question his memory than to accept that he, perfectly ordinary Kim Junmyeon who passed every Siren test he took without any trouble, is capable of that. "A guard saw me on the security camera and showed up to see what was going on," he says slowly, "and Kyungsoo came just in time to make him unlock the door for us."
It's not a lie, but it is a deliberate omission. If there was ever a place where he could safely admit the truth, it's in this house surrounded by confirmed Sirens and a man working to rescue them, but he just can't bring himself to do it.
"We could make that work, probably," Minseok says slowly, thoughtfully. "Claim that he controlled you and that's why you went to solitary and went along with the rest of the escape. We've got people who are good at those kinds of cover stories, so I'll talk to them and we'll figure something out."
Junmyeon should feel relieved at that, but he doesn't. What if the guard remembers the effect his singing had? He could find himself locked away in a Siren camp, maybe even the high security one. And even if the guard doesn't remember and his secret is safe, the thought of going back to his normal life like nothing has happened is hard to wrap his head around right now. He's gotten in even deeper than he thought he would, and especially with what he's learned about himself, normal doesn't seem like an option anymore.
There's silence as Junmyeon searches for the correct response to that, and Minseok makes an incongruously cute confused face. "You do want that?" he asks. "Getting you safely back to your life was the plan, but plans can change."
"I don't know," Junmyeon admits. That much he can say.
Minseok accepts that surprisingly easily. "You don't have a lot of time to decide," he says, "but some. I'll talk to people, see what options we can give you." With that, he stands up. "You've had a stressful day. Rest and eat something and you can worry about what comes next tomorrow."
Junmyeon nods and follows him back to the living room, but he doesn't really mean it. He's got more than enough to keep him worrying tonight.
Back in the living room, things have gotten a lot louder. Kyuhyun is off somewhere, but the other three Koreans are engaged in a lively conversation with Yixing that seems to consist mostly of hand gestures, sound effects and laughter. Lu Han is still sitting next to Yixing, but he looks like he's trying to disappear into the couch cushions.
Minseok and Junmyeon stop in the doorway to take in the scene, and Minseok laughs a little, quietly. "I didn't expect them to cheer up so quickly," he tells Junmyeon. "Lu Han's been here for three weeks already and he hasn't said a word he doesn't have to."
"They're like that," Junmyeon says. The humor may be a defense mechanism, but it seems to be a good one. Then, hesitant but too curious to resist, he asks, "Lu Han, is he...I mean, did he...?" It's hard to even know what to ask.
Minseok glances at Junmyeon before turning back to the others. "Like I told you, conditions are worse for Sirens in China. Lu Han escaped the worst of it, but from what I understand, he's had it rough. I haven't been able to get much out of either of them about it, but it seems like their escape went badly. The guard who was supposed to hand the Sirens over to Yixing was injured, and Lu Han's the only Siren who survived."
Suddenly, nine Sirens plus Junmyeon safely out doesn't sound so bad. It also drives home the point that there really is a need to help Sirens escape, to get them to a safe place, if such a thing really exists. "Will they be all right?" He watches Jongdae laugh so loud Kyungsoo shushes him, with an accompanying death glare, and he's not really talking about Lu Han and Yixing.
"We'll do everything we can to make sure they all are," Minseok says. Then, with a smile, "You too."
* * *
They split up into the rooms early that night, and Junmyeon's more than ready to sleep after the stress of the day and the sleepless night before, but he's coming back from the bathroom when he sees Kyungsoo standing by the living room door, watching him. He catches Junmyeon's eye and jerks his head to say, "Come here."
A feeling of dread settles over Junmyeon because there's only one thing Kyungsoo would want to talk to him about in secret. He'd been hoping that maybe Kyungsoo hadn't seen enough of what happened in solitary to understand, but it was always a flimsy hope at best.
"Minseok-ssi said you told him about the escape," Kyungsoo says after he's closed the door behind them, keeping his voice low.
"I did," Junmyeon says.
"Did you tell him everything?" Kyungsoo's gaze is piercing and Junmyeon knows there's no point in trying to lie.
"Almost," he admits, "but not that."
"None of it?"
"I told him what you did," Junmyeon says, realizing too late that maybe he shouldn't have. Minseok took it in stride, but that doesn't mean everyone he shares the information with will. But if it bothers Kyungsoo, he doesn't show it, so Junmyeon continues, "I left out what I did."
"Are you going to tell anyone?" Kyungsoo asks. Junmyeon bites his lip, not sure how to answer when he doesn't know himself, but he's spared answering when Kyungsoo continues, "Did you know?" Junmyeon shakes his head. "Huh." He can't read Kyungsoo's expression at all. "What's supposed to happen to you after this?"
"We were supposed to make it look like I was a hostage," Junmyeon tells him, "so I could claim I wasn't involved."
"And now?"
Junmyeon frowns, not knowing how Kyungsoo will take this. "Minseok said maybe they can claim you were controlling me."
"I see," Kyungsoo says, still impossible for Junmyeon to read, even though it's hard to believe that he doesn't care. "Do you think people will buy that? That guard?"
"I don't know." There's no guarantee it'll work, and he's not even sure at this point if he wants it to work. He doesn't want to get caught, but he doesn't know anymore if he wants to go back to his ordinary life either. He doesn't think he can pretend.
There's a long, unnerving silence in which Kyungsoo just looks at Junmyeon before finally he says, "You do what you want to do—what you can—but I can tell you this: you don't want to be locked up."
Junmyeon swallows hard as the words sink in. Kyungsoo is right. He's seen enough of life in a Siren community to know he doesn't want to live it. If the guard says that Junmyeon controlled him, he could get put in the high security camp with Sirens who have done much worse. Even if he doesn't, things are bound to be worse now that there's been a successful escape from at least one camp, to say nothing of the potential experiments. It's a big risk, sticking around when there's no guarantee of his safety.
But what's the alternative? He never planned to leave with the Sirens, to follow what will surely be a risky road to wherever it is they're going. He has a life waiting for him, with family and friends and university, a future he's worked hard to prepare for. It's hard to imagine picking up and leaving everyone and everything behind without so much as a chance to say goodbye, though it's no worse than what happened to every Siren who was whisked away the second they failed their test. At least he has a choice, even if it's a difficult one. It's more than can be said for most Sirens.
And that's the thing, isn't it? He's no longer an ordinary person who can, if he wants, ignore the difficulties Sirens face entirely. Maybe he hasn't been for a while. He's tried not to think about it, but he knows what it means, the way the guard reacted to his singing. He may not have been able to do as much as Kyungsoo, but he controlled someone with his voice, and that makes him a Siren, period. He doesn't understand it, but the facts are there, stark and undeniable.
"I'm going to bed," Kyungsoo says, but he doesn't move right away. Looking hesitant for the first time in this conversation, he adds, "I know you probably don't want to go if you don't have to, and if you want to stay, I hope you can, but it would be nice. To have you with us." Then, without giving Junmyeon time to respond, he turns his back and walks out.
In spite of everything, Junmyeon finds himself smiling. Baekhyun has been outwardly friendly from the beginning and he's gotten close to Jongdae with time, but he's never been quite sure what Kyungsoo thinks of him. It's a nice surprise to realize that he has made that much of a good impression after all.
He goes to bed in the room where Kyuhyun is already asleep, and as much as he has on his mind, he's worn out enough that he falls asleep immediately.
* * *
Junmyeon wakes up early in the morning, tense and too alert without knowing why. It takes him a moment to remember that he's not in his bed at home, safe and sound, and that explains the tension but does nothing to help it. The other bed is empty and he won't be falling back asleep, so he rolls out of bed.
His borrowed pyjamas aren't warm enough, so he pulls on his sweatshirt from the day before, even though it's dirty from trekking through the woods. It makes him wonder if he'll ever be able to go back to his apartment for a clean one, or even walk into a store and buy one. So much is uncertain right now. It's probably better not to think about it.
He goes out to find only Minseok and Kyuhyun in the kitchen, the doors to the other two bedrooms in use still closed. Kyuhyun nods at him, and Minseok says, "Morning," casual, like he hosts escaped fugitives and their accomplices all the time. "Want some coffee?"
"Uh, sure," Junmyeon says. He doesn't know what today will bring, but there's a good chance that it'll be the kind of day that requires coffee.
"Did you sleep okay?" Minseok asks as he pours the coffee.
"Well enough. You?" He accepts the coffee and stirs in some sugar.
"I'm going to need a lot more coffee," Minseok says dryly. Then, "Don't just stand there." Junmyeon is confused until he turns around to see Lu Han standing in the doorway. "You always get up for coffee," Minseok says with a laugh, standing to get another cup. "Have a seat."
Lu Han does, nodding a greeting without meeting anyone's eyes. When he reaches to take the cup from Minseok, the sleeve of his shirt rides up and Junmyeon sees something dark and unpleasant-looking covering his wrist and spreading onto the back of his hand. He remembers hearing rumors that all Chinese Sirens are marked with identifying tattoos, but that looks less like a tattoo and more like a burn. Is that what it took to get rid of the tattoo? He flinches at the thought.
They sit and drink their coffee in reasonably comfortable silence for a while, leaving Junmyeon time to think about what will come next. He doesn't know how long they'll be able to stay here like this, but he doubts it'll be long. The Sirens need to get away before they get caught, and if Junmyeon is going to try to go back to his life, it should happen soon. He likes to think his decisions through carefully, consider all the pros and cons, but there's no time for that now. He has to decide quickly, and that's more than a little bit scary.
The others trickle in one at a time, the last a sleep-eyed Baekhyun with his hair sticking up in all directions. They eat breakfast and even Baekhyun is quiet, all of them either lost in thought or too sleepy for conversation. Only when they've finished eating does Minseok say, "As far as we know, you're safe here for now, but we intend to get you out of the country as quickly as possible. It's not going to get any easier."
Junmyeon finds himself wondering again about the scale of this escape plan, whether it's only this camp or others around the country. The TV in the living room hasn't been turned on since they got here, and Junmyeon's phone is in his car, quite possibly never to be seen again. It's a strange feeling, being so cut off from the outside world. Is this what it's like for the Sirens in their isolated communities all the time?
"Where are we going to go?" asks Jongdae.
"I'm not going to tell you for now, but the first step will be to go to Busan. If everything goes well, we'll leave tonight."
"Tonight?" Junmyeon echoes, dismayed. He knew he wouldn't have a lot of time to figure out what he wants to do, but he didn't realize it would be so little.
Minseok flashes him a sympathetic grimace. "I know it's soon, but there's a long way to go, and right now there's a lot of chaos that we should take advantage of."
"Are we all going?" Baekhyun asks, looking over at Junmyeon. He looks confused. It seems Kyungsoo hasn't told the others about what he saw, or about the possibility of Junmyeon coming with them. Part of Junmyeon is relieved and part wishes he would so Junmyeon won't have to do it himself. "The others who escaped with us too?"
"They'll go a different way. It's safer to travel in small groups. Yixing will be coming only partway. And..." Minseok gives Kyuhyun a questioning look. Junmyeon doesn't understand why until Kyuhyun speaks up.
"I'm staying," he says.
Judging by the shocked reactions, no one but Minseok knew about this, and no one seems to understand. "Why?" Kyungsoo asks, the 'Are you crazy?' heavily implied.
"I want to do what I can here," Kyuhyun explains. "Too many people got left behind." Junmyeon winces at that, and he can see similar guilt on Jongdae, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo's faces. "Not to say that you shouldn't go. It's good for someone to get away. But I want to stay and help."
"The option is there for any of you, if you want," Minseok adds quickly, before anyone can respond, "but don't start feeling guilty. The whole point of this was to get you safely out of the country, and anyway, there's probably a lot you can do for us down the line." He's babbling a little, and he laughs awkwardly when he finishes. "So please don't tell me any of you want to stay. Hiding one person will be hard enough."
That gets a wry smile from Kyuhyun. Baekhyun grins and says, "Well, if you insist..."
Junmyeon only has a moment to feel relieved about that before Jongdae asks, "And what about Junmyeon-hyung? He doesn't need to run, does he?" He's not looking at Junmyeon as he says it, which is strange. Junmyeon would like to take a moment to figure out the small frown on his face, but he has bigger things to worry about.
Now Minseok turns to Junmyeon with a question in his eyes. He thinks he knows what his decision is, but he has to stop and take a deep breath, trying to find his courage, trying to be sure when he's not at all. "I'm going with you." He's relieved when his voice comes out steady. "That wasn't how it was supposed to go, but I think it's best now. I didn't do a good enough job hiding my involvement, so the guards probably know." The lie, or half lie, comes out smoothly. The only other person who knows it's not the whole truth is Kyungsoo, and his impassive face gives nothing away.
Minseok doesn't question it, even though he's only finding out now, just nods. "Okay, then. We leave at 5:00. Be ready."
"Wait, are you coming with us?" It's not until Baekhyun asks that Junmyeon registers that Minseok has been talking like he's leaving too. It makes sense for someone to help them along the way, but as far as Junmyeon knows, Minseok's work has been here until now. No one knows about his involvement, so unlike Junmyeon, he has no reason to run.
Minseok smiles. "Not all the way, but for now. I'll hand you off to someone else down the line, but I can't trust just anyone to get you out of the country."
They laugh, but Junmyeon has to admit he's relieved. Minseok may not look like much, but he's taken good care of them so far. With all the uncertainty involved, it'll be good to travel with someone they can trust.
* * *
Once the necessary decisions have been made, everything happens very quickly. Minseok already has a suitcase packed, and the rest of them will carry only small backpacks to hold a few essentials. Minseok will be leaving the country legally, but the rest of them will have to do it the hard way, whatever that means. They'll be getting forged passports down the line, Minseok tells them as he makes them each pose for pictures, but for now they'll have to travel in secret.
Junmyeon feels overwhelmed thinking about it, already questioning his decision if it means traveling under a fake identity with little more than the clothes on his back, but that's fear talking. What he told the others was true in spite of the omissions: this may not be a good choice or an easy one, but it's the best for him under the complicated circumstances. He has to believe that.
They have some downtime after they're showered and dressed in borrowed clothing and ready to go, and Junmyeon walks into the living room only to have Jongdae spring to his feet and come toward him. "What—?" he starts to ask, but then there are hands on his chest pushing him back out the door.
"Get it, Jongdae!" Baekhyun calls after them, but Jongdae doesn't smile or say something sarcastic back like he normally would.
"What's the matter?" Junmyeon asks when Jongdae stops pushing, out in the hallway.
"Come here," is all Jongdae says, pulling him somewhat more gently by the arm into the room he slept in. Only when they're sitting opposite each other on the beds does he ask, "What's this about you coming with us?"
So that's what this is about. It's not surprising that he'd ask, but he seems angry, which Junmyeon doesn't understand. Kyungsoo said it would be nice to have Junmyeon with them even if it would be better for him to not have to be. He would've expected Jongdae to feel the same, and he feels strangely hurt that he doesn't. "It's like I said," he explains. "There's a good chance people know I was part of the escape and if I try to go home like nothing happened, I'll end up in jail or in a Siren camp or worse. It's safer for me to leave with you."
"There's got to be a way to spin it," Jongdae insists. "Hell, we can control people's minds. How hard would it be to convince everyone you were being controlled? You don't need to leave everything behind and run away."
"I made my decision," Junmyeon says, irritated not because what Jongdae's saying is wrong but because it's right and he doesn't want to keep questioning the decision that was hard enough to make already. He pushes that down and tries for a joke. "What, you don't want me to come with you?"
"No, I—" Jongdae's hands clench into frustrated fists. "I don't understand. For us, this is the only choice. It doesn't have to be this way for you. You have a life here, a good one."
It wouldn't be so hard to explain it. Kyungsoo already knows and he didn't judge Junmyeon for not knowing he's a Siren or for not telling anyone now that he does know, and of course not for being one in the first place. Jongdae wouldn't hold it against him. But he still can't bring himself to tell the truth, not even to someone he trusts. It's too big for him to come to terms with on top of everything else that's happening.
"You don't have to like it," he says, trying to push aside the guilt he feels at keeping such a big secret, "but I've made up my mind. I'm not going to take the risk of staying."
Jongdae just looks at him for a long moment, something dark and unhappy in his eyes, before he says, voice tight, "Fine. I hope you don't regret it." He gets up and walks out, leaving Junmyeon alone with his guilt and fear.
Jongin comes by in a van with actual seats to drive them to the train station. Junmyeon sits with Kyungsoo and Lu Han in the middle, while Yixing gets stuck in the back between Jongdae and Baekhyun, who chatter like they're not scared at all (and like Jongdae has forgotten about arguing with Junmyeon earlier). Junmyeon suspects it's actually the opposite, but he doesn't comment. It's comforting, in a way, distracting him from thinking about what's going on. The rest of them are quiet. Kyungsoo dozes off, Minseok is busy with his phone, and Lu Han is as silent as ever, staring out the window.
They split into two groups to ride the train, which somehow results in Junmyeon with Yixing and Lu Han while Minseok gets to babysit the other three. Junmyeon feels awkward, unable to recall more than a few words of Mandarin. Do they even speak Mandarin? He knows precisely zero words of Cantonese. It feels weird to sit in silence, but he doesn't know what to do about it, and there's so much else on his mind.
"Sorry," Yixing says after some ten minutes of awkward silence, his accent heavy and difficult to understand. "No Korean."
"Sorry, only Korean," Junmyeon manages to say in Mandarin, or at least he thinks that's what he's saying.
Yixing laughs at that, but Junmyeon doesn't know if it's at his words or at his butchering of the language. He says something to Lu Han, who shakes his head. Another few words earn another shake of the head from Lu Han, but then he sighs and says, still without looking up, "He says to relax." Lu Han's accent is only marginally better than Yixing's, but he seems to know more words.
"I'm trying," Junmyeon says dryly.
Lu Han cocks his head like he's trying to process that before he relays it to Yixing, who smiles but doesn't say anything more.
"How did you learn Korean?" Junmyeon asks, careful to speak slowly and clearly. It's half to make conversation and half because he's curious. If education in Chinese Siren camps was anything like in the Korean equivalent, he doubts Korean classes were offered.
"We had some books," Lu Han tells his feet. "And I had a lot of time to study."
So things were about the same. "Why Korean?" he asks.
Lu Han shrugs. "That's what we had. And...I listened to kpop, a little, before."
Junmyeon imagines a younger, happier Lu Han singing along to Shinhwa without understanding the words. That makes him smile, but Lu Han can't see it, still looking down. "It's a good thing you did learn. It's useful now."
Lu Han makes a vague sound of agreement. Yixing says something to him, maybe asking for a translation, and Lu Han responds, incomprehensible to Junmyeon. His voice is still very soft, but he has a little more inflection in his native language. He doesn't sound as much like he's scared of letting words out.
There's a lot more Junmyeon would like to ask, curious about both of them, but between the language barrier and the fact that they're in public, it doesn't seem like a good idea. Maybe later, when they can talk in private and take their time figuring out what to say. In any case, Lu Han looks kind of freaked out about having a conversation this long, and Junmyeon doesn't want to push him. He seems more comfortable with Yixing, and even with Minseok, so maybe he'll warm up to the rest of them in time. For now, they settle into silence again.
Halfway through the train ride, Kyungsoo comes to sit with them. "I thought it'd be quieter with you," he explains, sliding into the empty seat next to Junmyeon.
Junmyeon laughs. "You're right about that." Yixing has been asleep for a while, and he and Lu Han haven't spoken since their earlier conversation. He's glad to have Kyungsoo here so he's not stuck with only his thoughts for company. "Have you been to Busan before?" he asks, mostly to have something to say. Kyungsoo looks nervous, which is understandable given that not only is he running from the law but he hasn't been out in public like this in years.
"Once," Kyungsoo says. "I don't really remember. It's been a while since..." Since he's been anywhere except the Siren camp.
"It's nice," Junmyeon says, not that it really matters since it sounds like they won't be staying there long.
"Hmm," Kyungsoo responds vaguely. He glances over at Lu Han, who is determinedly staring out the window but can't seem to find anything to say to him, so he settles in his seat, trying to relax and almost succeeding.
"Don't worry," Junmyeon says after a moment, even though Kyungsoo hasn't said anything and even though he's worried too. It's scary, facing the unknown like this, but he wants to believe everything will go well from here on. The hard part should be behind them. "We'll be okay."
"I know I'll be okay. I think you should be more worried about yourself, hyung," Kyungsoo says. His voice is so soft and even that it takes Junmyeon a moment to realize it's a joke.
He laughs once he gets it and digs his elbow into Kyungsoo's arm. "How about a little respect for your elders?" he chides, but he can't say he really minds.
They meet up with the others outside the train station in Busan. Baekhyun and Jongdae are quiet again, either tired of talking or, much more likely, too nervous now that they're moving on to the next stage, whatever it is. It's not hard to guess that they'll be leaving through the port, but how and to where is anyone's guess.
Sure enough, they head toward the port but don't quite make it there, stopping at a hotel nearby. "Are we staying here?" Junmyeon asks curiously. It seems strange to rush to Busan only to hang around overnight.
"Not for long," Minseok says without elaboration. He leads them up to the third floor and knocks on the door of room 305. After a moment, a young man answers the door. He looks at Minseok and then at the rest of them, then silently moves aside to let them in.
"This is Kibum," Minseok says when the door is closed. "He's going to help you get onto a ferry to Japan." So that's where they're going next. It's not a big surprise, given where they are, but Junmyeon doubts getting to their ultimate destination will be as easy as hopping on a ferry.
"So much for anonymity," Kibum grumbles at Minseok.
"You say that like your name is unusual," Minseok retorts, and thankfully Kibum laughs. "So here's the plan," Minseok continues. "Kibum works loading cargo, so we're going to sneak you in that way, inside individual cargo containers. It's not exactly first-class travel, but this is the fastest ferry there is, so you'll be fine. I hope none of you are claustrophobic."
"And if you are, suck it up," Baekhyun chimes in helpfully. If anyone does have a problem, they don't say anything after that.
"The ferry leaves in the morning, so we'll wait until the middle of the night and then go. We'll try to do it as last minute as possible to limit the time you have to be cooped up, but we can't wait too long, so just try to put up with it. We'll get to Fukuoka in the late morning and I can promise you no more cargo crates after that," Minseok finishes with an apologetic smile.
And that's how Junmyeon finds himself hiding in a moving storage container at some unfortunate hour of the morning wondering how on Earth he went from his safe, comfortable life to this. His heart is pounding, his mind racing through all the ways this could go wrong, but there's nothing to do now except stay quiet and hope for the best.
He can breathe easier once the container is in place, but only a little bit. In spite of the cold outside and the holes to allow him some fresh air, it's hot and stuffy in the enclosed space. It may not be a long trip, but boarding hasn't even started yet, so he can still look forward to quite a few hours stuck in here. Any amount of time seems like too long. He tries to remind himself that he signed up for this, so he has no choice but to deal with it. It doesn't help.
It's hard to believe that he's really leaving the country that he's spent his whole life in, and considering that he's sneaking out, he might never be able to come back. Will he ever see his family again, he wonders, or his friends or his apartment and everything he left in it? Will he ever be able to come back to Seoul and all its familiar sights?
It hurts to even think about that, and it's too scary to think about the danger of his current position, so he tries to think about something, anything else. He wonders how the others are handling this. Nobody admitted to being scared as they went into the containers, but it was written all over every one of their faces (except maybe Yixing's, which Junmyeon hasn't figured out how to read yet). Baekhyun, for all his bravado, looked downright green. Junmyeon hopes he's all right.
It's strange, he thinks, traveling with the three Sirens from the camp. They've laughed at him for being more innocent than them despite being older, but at the same time, he's experienced a lot more of the outside world than they have. It brings out his protective instincts, and that helps distract him from his own fear, of the journey they're on and the uncertain future that follows it. If he can worry about them, he doesn't have to focus on the many reasons to worry about himself.
Thinking about that reminds him of his last conversation with Jongdae, how upset he seemed about Junmyeon leaving the country with them. It's not like he was expecting celebration, but it bothers him to have Jongdae angry with him. He was a comfort during the initial escape, after they had to leave so many people behind. Junmyeon could use more of that comfort now, and he wants to give it back too. He doesn't want things to be complicated between them.
Junmyeon's thoughts continue to drift as the hours inside the storage container seem to drag on forever. They start to move eventually, and after a small eternity of rocking on the open seas, they stop again, but still he has to wait. Minseok said they had someone on the other side who would get them out, but he didn't give any indication of how long they'll have to wait before that happens, or even of where they'll be when it does.
After far too long for Junmyeon's taste, the container is lifted and carted shakily off the boat, presumably to dry land. Then it moves again, more steadily, like it's on a truck, and after a few minutes, they stop. There's no further movement, and Junmyeon holds his breath until a few minutes later, the lid finally, finally cracks open.
The relief he experiences when the lid comes off and he sees Kyungsoo's wide eyes looking down at him along with those of an unfamiliar man is like nothing he's felt before. At last, he can breathe properly, without the walls tight around him and the fear of capture making his chest even tighter. Fresh air has never tasted so good.
"Never again," Baekhyun whines miserably when they let him out next, and Junmyeon has to agree.
Next is Lu Han, who looks pale and shaken, and then Jongdae, who laughs and says, "Well, that was exciting," even though he's just as pale. The last one out is Yixing, who has miraculously fallen asleep. They all laugh at the sight, the kind of almost-hysterical laughter that comes with surviving a terrifying experience. Yixing wakes up and looks up at them in confusion for a few seconds before he realizes what happened and grins.
The man who lets them out doesn't give a name, but when he speaks after they're all safely out of the containers, it's in fluent Korean. "Put these on," he says, handing them coveralls like the ones he's wearing, probably a uniform. They quickly put them on over their clothes and then follow him out of the warehouse.
There are a few other workers in matching coveralls outside, caught up in their own tasks. Junmyeon eyes them worriedly, trying to breathe normally and not look as nervous as he feels. All it would take is one person asking questions for them to be in big trouble, but no one gives them a second glance.
The man leads them to another building and around the back to a bus stop and there's Minseok, sitting on the bench with his suitcase. He jumps up when he sees them, visibly relieved. "Good, good, you made it." Then to the man, "Thank you very much. Your contact will be in touch soon."
The man nods and turns to go, calling "Good luck" over his shoulder, and they're left alone.
"I'm glad you're okay," Minseok says. "Let's go." Just down the street is a small park, and they ditch the coveralls there, then move back to the bus stop to wait. "We're going to head into the city," Minseok explains. "We have a train to catch."
The day is sunny but cool, and without the extra layer of fabric, the wind cuts through Junmyeon's clothes. He's not the only one shivering, and even Minseok, who's the only one wearing a real jacket, has his arms crossed tightly. Lu Han keeps tugging down the sleeves of his sweatshirt, but that could be more about the mark on his wrist than the cold. Only Yixing doesn't seem bothered, his sweatshirt left half unzipped. "Couldn't you order us better weather for our exciting trip to Japan?" Baekhyun jokes.
Minseok smiles at that. "I'll see what I can do from now on."
Thankfully, the bus comes soon and they get on. None of them talk during the short ride to the train station, mostly looking out the windows. Junmyeon came to Japan once before, with his family, but he was so young that the memories are a blur. He can't even remember if they came to Fukuoka at all. He watches the buildings get taller as they approach the station and wonders if Minseok will tell them now where they're headed or if he's going to keep them in suspense. It's possible Japan is their final destination, but he has a feeling they're in for a longer haul. They wouldn't need passports if this was it.
The train station is busy and Junmyeon watches the way the four Sirens take in the hustle and bustle. Lu Han looks freaked out, standing close to Yixing. Kyungsoo's less obvious about it, but he seems almost as uncomfortable. Even Baekhyun, usually so comfortable with people, is tense, fidgeting with the straps of his backpack. It's only Jongdae who is looking around with wide, curious eyes at the people and the shops. Junmyeon can't help smiling at his childlike fascination, forgetting for a moment to be nervous.
They make their way to the ticket machines, where Minseok frowns at the sign showing fares. "I don't suppose any of you know Japanese?" he asks.
None of them do, but they eventually manage to buy seven one-way tickets to Osaka. "Is that where we're going?" Baekhyun asks. "Our destination?" He doesn't seem surprised when Minseok gives him a mysterious smile as an answer.
They buy food and drink, the younger three bickering about what to get until Junmyeon makes an executive decision and picks for all of them, then make their way to the platform. They don't bother splitting up for the ride this time, taking up a row and a half on the bullet train. Junmyeon sits by the window next to Baekhyun, with Minseok across the aisle and Kyungsoo and Jongdae both looking out the other window. Lu Han and Yixing sit behind him, talking quietly.
"My brother came to Japan once," Baekhyun comments as the train starts to move, looking past Junmyeon out the window. "When I was in middle school and he was in high school, a friend's family invited him to come on a trip with them. I was so jealous I wouldn't stop whining about it. I wasn't doing great in school then so my parents told me that if I got into the high school they wanted me to go to, we could take a trip to Japan. I took the entrance exam, but I never found out how I did..." He sounds wistful, his voice softer than Junmyeon has ever heard it, but then he laughs loudly. "It's probably good since I bet I failed."
"Well, here you are," Junmyeon says with a smile that he's glad to see Baekhyun return. "It just took a few extra years."
"And now I might just get to see the world!" Baekhyun declares. He's still smiling, but Junmyeon suspects it's false bravado. This is scary for all of them, and for good reason.
"Don't worry," he says. "I'm sure we'll be okay, wherever we end up."
"Who's worried?" Baekhyun says lightly, but his smile is a little different now, maybe grateful, and more sincere. "I just wish someone would tell us where we're going already."
He glares pointedly over at Minseok, who looks up from his phone, his face the picture of innocent confusion. "What?" he asks. Junmyeon honestly can't tell if he's messing with them or if he really wasn't paying attention. Considering what he does, Minseok is surprisingly out of it sometimes.
Either way, Baekhyun laughs. "Nevermind." Minseok shrugs and goes back to his phone, and Baekhyun turns to Junmyeon again, sharing an amused look. "Anyway," he says, "I guess we shouldn't..." He looks around, and Junmyeon gets the message. It's not so unlikely that someone on the train in Japan might understand Korean, so they need to watch what they say. They're hiding in plain sight now, and that only works if they don't call attention to themselves.
In spite of that, they end up talking for the better part of the two and a half hour ride, though if someone asked Junmyeon what about, he couldn't really answer. Baekhyun never seems to run out of things to say, even after so many years of living a life without much worth talking about. Maybe that's why he's so good at it, because someone had to keep things lively in the camp no matter how boring it was.
It's late afternoon when they get to Osaka, and Minseok pulls up something on his phone before leading them to a hotel. "Wait out here," he says. "The reservation's in my name and we'll have to sneak you in later." It's a big hotel, hopefully big enough that they won't notice a few extra guests going in and out.
They wait, browsing in a convenience store next door, until Minseok comes out ten minutes later without his suitcase. "Room 802," he tells them. "Here's the key. Go up and lock the door. I'll be back later."
"Where are you going?" Baekhyun asks.
Minseok looks over at Yixing. "We're going to go meet someone, and then Yixing's leaving us." He did mention that Yixing wouldn't be coming the whole way, but it's still a surprise that it's happening so soon. Judging by the others' expressions, only Lu Han knew it was coming. The rest of them haven't had much time to get attached, but it feels strange to lose one of their number already.
It would be bad to make a big deal about goodbyes in public, but Jongdae says, "Good luck, I guess."
Yixing says something to Lu Han who tells the rest of them, "He says...take care? Something like that. And maybe we'll meet again someday."
They say goodbye and then Minseok and Yixing leave. The rest of them go into the hotel. They split up to avoid drawing attention with a group of five, and Junmyeon and Lu Han go in first. He's worried that someone will notice they never checked in, but the man at the front desk just greets them politely and doesn't bother them as they make their way to the elevator, and they get to the room without any trouble. It's a double room, but a small one, not nearly enough for six people. He wonders how long they'll be here.
Five minutes later, the other three join them. "That was way more nerve-wracking than it should've been," Jongdae mutters as he flops onto one of the beds.
"But there's no reason anyone should be looking for us here, right?" Kyungsoo says.
"No, but they'd want to see our passports to check into a hotel and then we'd be in trouble," Junmyeon points out.
They make themselves as comfortable as they can on the beds and the two armchairs. There's not much they can do while they wait for Minseok to come back and tell them what's next.
"I wonder where Yixing's going," Baekhyun says. He looks over at Lu Han, who as usual isn't looking at him or anyone else, and asks, "Do you know?"
"He's going home," Lu Han says. "To China." There's sadness in his voice, as soft as it is. The rest of them won't be going home any time soon, or maybe ever.
"He can do that?" Jongdae asks. "Didn't you guys sneak out?"
"We don't think anyone knows he had anything to do with the escape. He doesn't have any known connection to Sirens. They'll make it look like he came to Japan legally," Lu Han explains, pausing occasionally to hunt for words. "Somehow. Then he can go back to China like he's coming back from vacation. If it works."
"That's good," Baekhyun says. "At least someone can go back." Junmyeon doesn't miss the glances that both Baekhyun and Jongdae shoot his way, but he doesn't let himself think about it.
"He didn't tell you anything else, did he? About where we're going?" Kyungsoo asks Lu Han, changing the subject. Junmyeon wonders if it's on purpose.
Lu Han shakes his head. He looks uncomfortable with the attention, more so now that he doesn't have Yixing to hide behind, and it can't be easy for him to keep up with the conversation in a language he has so little practice using. "I don't know if he knows."
"We'll find out sooner or later," Junmyeon says. "I guess it's probably safer if we don't know much, just in case one of us gets caught." He regrets saying that when he sees the fear on the others' faces. No one wants to think about the possibility of getting caught. "But I'm sure we won't be," he adds quickly.
"That would be more convincing if you didn't look scared," Baekhyun says dryly, which gets a laugh that eases the atmosphere a little.
Minseok comes back alone just before 7:00. "Please tell me you brought food," Baekhyun says by way of greeting.
Minseok looks startled at that, and then sheepish. "Uh, no, but I can go get something."
"Please." Jongdae pouts at him. "We're starving."
With a put-upon sigh, Minseok heads back downstairs and returns ten minutes later with prepared meals from the convenience store. They gather around the table between the beds to eat, and Junmyeon realizes only when he takes his first bite how hungry he is. "Did everything go well?" he asks Minseok as they eat.
"It looks like it," Minseok says. "I handed your pictures and info over to a friend and if all goes well, we'll get you passports soon and you'll be able to leave the country the legal way."
"So we are going somewhere else?" Jongdae asks.
"Yes," Minseok answers. "And no, I'm not going to tell you yet. Sorry."
"What else is new?" Baekhyun doesn't even sound annoyed. They weren't expecting anything else at this point.
They talk about the food for a little while, pointless small talk, until Jongdae suddenly says, "Can I ask you something?"
"Who?" Baekhyun asks.
"Not you," Jongdae shoots back without missing a beat. The rest of them laugh, but Jongdae stays serious. "You two." He gestures across the table at Junmyeon and Minseok.
"Okay," Junmyeon says warily. He wouldn't normally have a problem answering anything Jongdae might ask him, but after their last conversation, he has reason to worry that it'll be a question he's not ready for.
"Aren't you scared of us?" Jongdae asks point blank. Silence follows his question, so he adds, "It's great that you're for Siren rights and everything, but you know what we can do. Four of us together, especially. We could make you do anything. That really doesn't scare you at all?"
Junmyeon and Minseok exchange a glance, but Junmyeon can't read Minseok's expression. He doesn't really know what his answer is either. The possibility of being controlled is scary, sure, but he doesn't feel scared, not with these Sirens. "You're not scared of each other, are you?" he asks.
"We can't control each other," Baekhyun says like it's common knowledge, but it's the first time Junmyeon's heard about this.
"Oh," he says dumbly. Minseok looks less surprised, so it must be just him who didn't know. He wonders why it's not more widely known, and what other things about Sirens the general public doesn't get to hear about. "Well...even so, I'm not." If what Baekhyun says is true, he has nothing to fear in the first place, but he's not ready to reveal that yet. "I trust you guys."
"The way I figure," Minseok says thoughtfully, "I studied a bunch of martial arts, so maybe I could kick your ass if I wanted to, but I won't. And you could control me if you wanted to, but I don't think you will."
"But you barely know us," Kyungsoo points out.
"That's true," Minseok agrees, "but you seem like good guys. I'll trust you until you give me a reason not to." He smiles. "Don't make me regret it."
That seems to be good enough for Jongdae because the next thing he does is ask Minseok, "You really think you could kick our asses? You're so..."
"Tiny," Baekhyun supplies, as if he has any room to talk.
And that's how Minseok ends up beating them soundly at arm wrestling one after another until even Lu Han is laughing, their worries momentarily forgotten.
* * *
They spend the next day cooped up inside, which is no fun for any of them. Junmyeon's not used to having his movements restricted, and even for the Sirens who are more accustomed to it, being stuck in a single hotel room with six people is excessive. "At least we can watch TV here," Baekhyun comments, flipping through news and weird variety shows and soap operatic daytime dramas. Junmyeon would be interested to watch the news because he still doesn't know if there were escapes from other Siren camps in Korea or other countries, but Baekhyun flips past every news show so quickly it has to be intentional.
"I'm sorry," Minseok says. He and Lu Han have claimed the two chairs while the rest of them sit on the beds. "It's only until we get your passports. The police can ask to see them any time and even if they probably won't, that's a risk we can't take."
It wouldn't be so bad except that it leaves them with not much to do but think, and there's a lot to think about. Where they're going, whether they'll make it there safely, what will happen when they do. On top of that, Junmyeon is worried that Jongdae is still upset with him. They haven't spoken much since they left Seoul, and there's no chance to talk alone here.
Even if they did, Junmyeon doesn't know what he'd say. He feels like a coward for keeping the secret of what he learned during the escape, but it's still too hard to wrap his head around it. He keeps thinking of Minseok and himself as the normal ones and the other four as the Sirens, but even if he's not an escapee from a Siren camp, he's part of that group now. He wonders if he'll ever be able to believe it.
He distracts himself by talking to Minseok, who's been sitting with his laptop, half watching the TV show that Baekhyun, Jongdae and Kyungsoo are dying over despite not understanding any Japanese. "I've been wondering, how'd you get into all of this? You're not much older than me, but you're all...important."
Minseok laughs at that. "I'm not really. It's only because I'm a little older and I've been involved for a few years that I'm above people like Chanyeol. But I'm just one of many."
Junmyeon nods. "Did you get a mysterious e-mail inviting you to join too?"
That makes Minseok smile. "No, I just send those. I got recruited by a professor at my university. I didn't know what I was getting into, but I really looked up to him so I said yes easily."
"Do you ever regret it?" Junmyeon asks the question without thinking and then he feels guilty, looking around to see if anyone else heard. Lu Han has been sitting quietly, not reacting but probably listening to them, but the other three are still distracted by the TV.
Minseok looks at him thoughtfully, not judging. "It's not easy, sometimes," he says. "Even though I've managed to keep my life separate, I have to lie to almost everyone I know and worry about what'll happen if I get caught. But it's worth it, right?" He smiles over at Lu Han and then nods in the direction of the others. "And somebody's got to do it." Then, more quietly, he asks, "Do you regret it? Getting involved, or deciding to run."
It's a difficult question. Junmyeon still feels he made the right choice, both in helping with the escape and in deciding not to risk staying in Korea, but it's impossible not to regret the loss of his old life. "It could have turned out better," he says, trying to laugh it off. Then, more soberly, "But we got some people out. That makes it worth it." He's sacrificed a lot for the cause, much more than he thought he could when he replied to Minseok's e-mail, but there are three Sirens here and laughing freely, safe because of him, and more in Korea or who knows where. That has to count for something.
Minseok nods but doesn't say anything. Junmyeon doesn't mind; he doesn't need platitudes.
He's surprised when Lu Han suddenly speaks up. "You didn't have to," he says. "Get involved. Both of you. It's easy, if you're not like us. You can forget. Most people do. That's why...bad things happen. So..." He trails off awkwardly, looking like he wishes he hadn't started talking. "Thank you. I mean, um... Yeah. Thanks."
Junmyeon restrains himself to a smile, but Minseok chuckles a little, softly, and pats Lu Han on the shoulder. Junmyeon's surprised to see he doesn't flinch away. "You're welcome," Minseok says.
"Hey, what are you guys whispering about over there?" Baekhyun asks as the others finally notice them.
"Adult things," Junmyeon jokes. "You kids don't need to worry about it." He's pleased when even Jongdae laughs at that. He can't be too mad, in that case.
"Whatever, old man," Baekhyun tosses back. "Quit being so serious and come watch TV with us. This next show has idols getting attacked by wild animals."
"If you insist," Junmyeon says, pushing aside his serious thoughts and turning back to the TV.
* * *
The next morning, Minseok brings them food and then goes out, promising to come back with passports for them so they can safely go out in public. "And then I'll explain to you what's happening next," he tells them, which is a relief but also more than a little bit scary.
Kyungsoo claims Minseok's laptop, though he doesn't seem to quite know what to do with it, either because he's not familiar with the newer technology or because he's not used to unfettered access to the internet. Thinking about having access to e-mail reminds Junmyeon that he hasn't been in contact with his family for days now. He wonders if they believe he's a criminal or an innocent victim, or if they even think he's dead. He wonders if and when he'll be able to contact them again, to say that he's safe and that he's sorry.
That's a painful train of thought to follow, so he pushes it aside as best he can. Kyungsoo seems to be avoiding the issue of what to do with the internet too; when Junmyeon looks over again, he's playing a card game. Junmyeon smiles a little at that before turning his attention to the others, hoping for some distraction.
He finds Jongdae and Baekhyun attempting to cajole a conversation out of Lu Han. Junmyeon would expect them to not want to think about the Siren camp now, but they seem curious to find out how similar Lu Han's experience was to theirs. "How old were you when you went in?" Baekhyun is asking.
Lu Han counts on his fingers to come up with the number in Korean. "Fourteen." He's a year older than Junmyeon, the same as Minseok, so that's a lot of years to spend locked away. Junmyeon wonders how much of Lu Han's behavior is because of that and how much is a result of more recent trauma.
"That would be..." Jongdae considers. "2004? Wow. Kyungsoo was the first out of us three and that wasn't until two years later."
Lu Han just nods at that, so Jongdae asks, "Were there a lot of you there?"
"I think, maybe...300 at the most? Before..." Lu Han flinches, and Junmyeon wonders if he should tell them to leave him alone, or cut in and change the subject.
"Before what?" Baekhyun asks. Jongdae kicks his leg, also aware that this is a sensitive subject, but he still looks curiously to Lu Han for an answer.
"People started to disappear," Lu Han says, very quiet. "About a year ago. Sometimes they came back. A lot of times they didn't. Not that many, but enough to notice."
Nobody knows what to say to that. "Were they...? I mean, do you know...?" Baekhyun frowns, curiosity warring with the tact he apparently does possess. "It's just that we heard they're planning to start experimenting on Sirens in Korea, but it's hard to believe..."
Lu Han goes tense like a cornered animal and Junmyeon opens his mouth to change the subject, but Lu Han speaks up before he can. "Yes. I mean, they were, in my camp. I'm sure." They're all wondering it, whether he knows from personal experience, but nobody's going to ask that, not when Lu Han looks freaked out enough as it is.
"Then I guess it really could happen." Baekhyun sounds shocked, like he didn't believe it until now. "It could've happened to us if we'd stayed."
"We're out," Kyungsoo says sharply, and Junmyeon turns to look at him. It seems he's been listening too. "Let's not think about what could've happened."
"Not everyone is out," Jongdae retorts, and now Kyungsoo flinches. None of them want to be reminded of how many people they left behind.
"Look," Junmyeon cuts in, "this...whatever you want to call it, this movement that I got involved in, that Minseok and the others who helped us are part of, it's big. I don't know how big, but they've got people in politics, and obviously connections in China and I'm willing to bet around the world. They're not going to sit still and let this keep happening. And you know, maybe once we're safe, we'll be able to do something to help too.
"So Kyungsoo's right; let's not dwell on what happened or what could've happened. That won't help anyone. Let's just focus on staying safe and try to have some faith in the good people out there who want to make things better."
He feels a little embarrassed after that impassioned speech, but he doesn't want to take it back. It's true, and he thinks it's important to put it out there. He looks around at the others as they think about what he said, and for a long, awkward moment no one says anything, but then Baekhyun laughs. "And here I thought you weren't so innocent anymore," he teases.
"I'm not," Junmyeon grumbles good-naturedly, too relieved that the tense atmosphere has been broken to really mind. Innocent may not be the right word, but if he has more optimism left than the others, it's good to share it.
"You are," Kyungsoo says with a little smile, "but that's okay. We like you that way."
In the evening, Minseok returns to the hotel room with hands full of takeout bags and a tagalong. The guy towers over Minseok and looks a little dangerous with his huge hands and angry eyebrows, but if Minseok's bringing him here, he must be okay. "This is Kris," Minseok says once they've put the bags down.
"Hi," says Kris. "My Korean's not very good, so, uh, patience, please?" He gives them an awkward half-smile that immediately makes him look a lot less threatening.
"English?" Baekhyun asks in clumsy English.
"Yes," Kris says. "Or Chinese." Then, belatedly realizing he said that in English, he repeats it in the correct language. Lu Han brightens a little at that.
"Kris lives in Canada," Minseok explains. "He's going to help you get there."
"Canada?" Jongdae echoes, surprised. Junmyeon is too. It may be the safest option, but it's a long way to go. Will they be able to find a place for themselves in such a different country? Will they even be able to get there in the first place?
Baekhyun groans. "My English is terrible," he whines.
"Mine too," Minseok replies with a laugh, "which is why you're going with Kris. He'll help you out." That's a relief. Junmyeon has always done well in English class, but he doesn't know how that'll hold up to life in an English-speaking country.
"You're not coming?" It's Jongdae who asks the question, frowning, but nobody looks too happy about it. Junmyeon feels the same. They've only known Minseok for a few days, mysterious e-mails aside, but they were such an intense couple of days that it feels like longer, and they've all been relying on him a lot. He did tell them he wouldn't be coming the whole way, but it still seems too soon.
Minseok shakes his head. "I wouldn't be much use to you in Canada, and I've got things to take care of here and back in Korea. But I'll be in touch for official purposes, and if you want for unofficial purposes too."
He laughs a little, shyly, like he's not sure if that offer is wanted and is giving them the chance to laugh it off, but Baekhyun throws an arm around his shoulders and says, "Just wait, we're going to pester you so much you'll wish you left us locked up."
Over dinner, Minseok and Kris explain the plan in a confused mix of languages. Tomorrow, armed with forged passports claiming they entered Japan legally a week ago, they'll fly to Vancouver. If all goes well, they'll travel from there to an apartment outside of the city where they can hide for now.
"And after that?" Jongdae asks. The passports should get them out of Japan and into Canada, but they won't entitle them to stay forever. Even if they can safely hide away, going from forced isolation in one country to voluntary isolation in another isn't ideal.
"That depends on a lot of things," Minseok admits, apologetic, "but we have some connections in Canada who should be able to help you out once you're there so you won't have to stay in hiding indefinitely. Don't worry. We won't leave you hanging."
It's not terribly comforting, but Minseok and the mysterious people behind the curtain have taken good care of them so far. There's no reason to think they can't be trusted to keep them safe in Canada too.
Kris leaves after they eat, and Minseok pulls Junmyeon aside, even though there's no real privacy in this overcrowded room. "I'm just going to ask once more," he says in a low voice. "Are you really sure you want to go through with this?"
"Isn't it too late to change my mind?" Junmyeon asks. He thought he'd passed the point of no return and didn't have to think about it anymore. It would be simpler if he had.
"It would be difficult to backtrack now," Minseok says, "but not impossible. I wanted to give you one last chance, in case you regret your decision."
Junmyeon feels tense, overwhelmed, so he forces himself to take a deep breath in and out. He looks around, but the others are across the room and probably can't hear them. "There are...reasons," he says. "Why I think I should go." His voice comes out sounding strange, strained. He clears his throat, as if that'll help. "I don't want to. I don't think any of us do, but it's for the best."
Minseok's brow furrows. "Is there something I should know about?" he asks.
Junmyeon thinks about it for only a moment before he shakes his head. It won't make a difference if Minseok knows the truth or not at this point, and it's still too hard to say it. He's starting to wonder if he'll ever be able to.
To his relief, Minseok doesn't press. "Okay then," is all he says before leaving Junmyeon alone.
Once Minseok is gone, Junmyeon leans back against the wall, feeling shaken even though he has no reason to be afraid of Minseok finding out. He closes his eyes and takes another slow, deep breath, and when he opens them again, Jongdae is standing in front of him. "Are you okay?" he asks. "You don't look good."
"I'm fine." Junmyeon forces a smile.
It's obvious Jongdae doesn't believe him, and for a second it looks like he'll push, but instead, after a moment's hesitation, he says, "I'm sorry. About getting mad at you before. I just didn't want to see your life get ruined because you helped us." He looks sad and Junmyeon feels guilty again for lying even as he's relieved to hear that Jongdae isn't mad at him.
"It's not your fault," he says. "It was my decision to be part of this and my decision to leave."
"I know, but if you hadn't come to break me out of solitary, maybe you would have been able to get away with it." Suddenly, it makes sense why Jongdae would take Junmyeon joining them in leaving the country so badly. Junmyeon's been so busy wallowing in his own guilt about keeping secrets that he hadn't considered anyone else's.
"That was my decision too," he says gently. "You told me to go and I decided not to." He remembers Jongdae silently pleading with him, and how he almost did leave him there. The thought makes his chest feel tight and he wonders how he could have even considered it.
Jongdae sighs, the guilt still written all over his face, but he doesn't try to argue. "It's just...you were so innocent when you first came to the camp. Everyone commented on it, how we'd gotten used to being around jaded, bitter people and then you came in there with your smiles and wanting to help and it was like you'd grown up in a totally different world from us."
"I did," Junmyeon says.
"Yeah, you did. And at first, it kind of pissed me off because our lives looked that much worse by comparison, but then we talked more and it was...nice. It helped to see that even if we'd been screwed over by life, there were still good things and good people in the world. It was almost like hope, like...if there are still good people like you out there, maybe things can change."
"And they did," Junmyeon points out.
Jongdae smiles, but it's a small, sad smile. "I guess they did. Don't get me wrong, I'm really grateful that you helped us get out, especially if it's true that they were going to start experimenting on us, but I hate that you got caught up in this. I don't want to see life mess you up too. I really...I like you the way you are and I don't want you to get hurt."
Junmyeon doesn't know what to say to that, considering everything that's happened, but he flashes Jongdae a smile, a genuine one this time. "You don't have to worry about me," he says. "I'm tougher than I look." He's half joking, but it's the truth. If he was really so fragile and naïve, he never would have made it this far.
Jongdae doesn't laugh, but he smiles a little bigger, a little happier. "You really are."
* * *
They go shopping the next morning because Minseok says it looks suspicious if you board an international flight with no luggage, and also because it'll be colder where they're going. Junmyeon thinks sadly of his full closet back in Seoul, but the Sirens get childishly excited about trying on clothes, even Lu Han smiling faintly as Jongdae forces him into a gaudy leopard print jacket.
"Whose money are we spending?" Baekhyun asks only once they're in line to pay.
Minseok laughs at that. "Not mine, I can tell you. Don't worry about it."
They're hardly breaking the bank with some basics and a warm jacket each, plus cheap small suitcases, but the money has to come from somewhere. Junmyeon can't help wondering what'll happen when they get to Canada. He's not too worried that they'll be left to fend for themselves, but he doesn't know if they'll be able to work somehow or if they'll be dependent on whoever's bankrolling their escape for as long as they're there. He doesn't like the idea of living like that long term.
They go to lunch after, and Kris comes to meet them at the restaurant. "I'm going to say goodbye to you after this," Minseok tells them, "and then Kris will take you to the airport. There shouldn't be any problems, but you'll have me and a couple of contacts in Japan standing by if there are, so don't worry."
"Don't worry, he says," Jongdae comments dryly. "Why would we ever worry when we're..." He looks around at the other tables before finishing, "You know."
"Hey, compared to our trip from Busan, this is nothing, right?" Baekhyun says with a laugh.
"We can laugh about it after." Jongdae's trying to hide it, but he looks really nervous, and not, Junmyeon thinks, without very good reason. Sneaking into Japan was scary. Walking out under assumed identities sounds even more frightening.
"It'll be fine," Minseok says firmly. He turns to Kris. "Right?"
"Right," Kris agrees, even though Junmyeon's not too sure he understood the conversation.
They finish lunch far too quickly for Junmyeon's taste, considering what's coming next, and Minseok sees them off at the nearest train station. "Good luck," he tells them, "not that you'll need it." Then, to Kris, "You know what to do if there's a problem. Otherwise, let me know when you get out of the airport in Vancouver." Last, he says something to Lu Han in what Junmyeon assumes is Mandarin even though it sounds an awful lot like Korean. Whatever it is, Lu Han seems to understand and nods in response, flashing Minseok the faintest of smiles.
"Okay, let's go," Kris says, and they wave goodbye before heading to the platform.
They're all quiet as they board the train, thoughts elsewhere. Junmyeon thinks about where they're going and what they're leaving behind. Japan isn't home, but there are parts of it that still feel familiar, and it's not so far from Korea. Canada is an ocean away, and it's entirely new to him and likely to be very different.
It's not a short ride, but Junmyeon almost wishes it was longer. He's not eager to test out his new passport with its unfamiliar name (aside from the last name that's so common he's allowed to keep it), but he'll feel better once he knows it's good.
They're all a little twitchy inside the airport. Baekhyun, Jongdae and Kyungsoo stick close together, and although Lu Han's managing without anyone to hide behind anymore, his knuckles are white where they grip his suitcase. Junmyeon doesn't know if he looks as obviously nervous as them, but he definitely feels it.
"We'll go through separately and meet at the gate," Kris tells them when they find the check in counter. "Just in case."
"That's comforting," Baekhyun mutters.
"Let's just get it over with." Jongdae's voice is sharp from nerves. "I'll go first if you're chicken."
Baekhyun opens his mouth immediately, probably to retort that he's not chicken, but then he seems to think better of it and smiles sheepishly before saying, "I'll go second."
Jongdae rolls his eyes, but he's smiling, even if it's a little tight. "See you on the other side, guys," he tells them all before getting in line.
Junmyeon goes third. He sees Jongdae and then Baekhyun safely check in and head for security, but his heart still tries to pound its way out of his chest as he walks up to the counter and hands over his passport. He has to remind himself to breathe as the woman behind the counter looks him up on the computer. It's probably not taking any longer than usual, but it seems like an eternity before she finally says, "Thank you, Mr. Kim," and hands him his passport and boarding pass. He wastes no time taking them and moving away before she can realize her mistake.
He gets just as nervous when he goes through customs and security, but each time he makes it through without a problem. When he's finally through into the terminal, he sits down for a minute to calm his racing heart before continuing to the gate to meet the others. He can only hope they've had as little trouble as he did.
Baekhyun and Jongdae are already waiting at the gate, and they smile when they see him, Jongdae pouncing him for a brief hug. Lu Han shows up only a few minutes after Junmyeon, sinking into a seat beside them. Kyungsoo should be next and Kris last, but after ten minutes there's no sign of either of them. "Do you think something happened?" Baekhyun asks, getting to his feet and fidgeting nervously.
"I'm sure they're fine," Junmyeon says with more confidence than he feels. "Security just takes forever sometimes."
Kris shows up after fifteen minutes, but there's still no sign of Kyungsoo. "I didn't see him," Kris says, "but he's still got plenty of time." Then he frowns, which takes a lot of the comfort out of his words.
There are lots of explanations for why Kyungsoo isn't here that don't involve him getting caught, but it's all too easy to imagine the worst case scenario. "If they stopped him..." Jongdae says worriedly.
"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." Kris says that in English so they get a few moments of distraction while Junmyeon explains it in Korean, but then they're back to waiting in tense silence.
It's another ten painfully long minutes before finally Kyungsoo comes around the corner. Baekhyun stops pacing and throws his arms tightly around his friend, and Jongdae gets up and hugs both of them. Junmyeon can't see, but he's sure Kyungsoo is rolling his eyes when he says, voice muffled, "I'm fine, geez. Let me go."
Once Kyungsoo's managed to disentangle himself, he tells them, "Nothing happened. I just got stuck behind this couple who had no idea what they were doing. It's not a big deal." Despite his words, he looks shaken. It can't have been fun to have the experience dragged out.
They sit down to wait for boarding, incredibly relieved to all be through. There's still getting into Canada to worry about, but for now, they're together and safe and they can breathe relatively easily.
They board the plane in pairs. Jongdae takes the window seat with Junmyeon next to him in the middle, Kyungsoo and Baekhyun in the same position three rows in front of them. Kris and Lu Han are one row further forward on the opposite side of the plane. "There are more people on this plane than there were...back home," Jongdae comments as they watch people file in, searching for their seats and hoisting suitcases into the overhead bins. "Probably a lot more." He sounds partly impressed and partly wary.
"They won't bother you," Junmyeon tells him. "Most people keep to themselves on airplanes, especially on these long flights."
"Who says I'm worried?" Jongdae grins and smacks Junmyeon's shoulder. "It's exciting! In a terrifying kind of way."
That makes Junmyeon laugh. "That's a good way of describing this whole experience."
"Isn't it?" Jongdae ruefully agrees. "But it helps, you know, having you here." Then he laughs and adds, "Even if you're scared too." It's not a surprise now that Jongdae's gone back to acting normal around him, but it's still good to hear.
Jongdae stares out the window as they take off and climb higher and higher, until they pass above the clouds. They talk on and off during the meal that follows, about nothing in particular, and until the cabin lights are dimmed. "Are you going to sleep?" Jongdae asks.
"We should." It's not a very appealing prospect, with a lot on his mind that he doesn't want to give himself time to think about, but it'll be easier to face a repeat of their airport stress in Canada if he's well-rested.
Jongdae bites his lip and Junmyeon can guess he's thinking the same thing. "Maybe I'll watch a movie first." He chooses an English movie Junmyeon doesn't recognize and slips his headphones on, turning his attention to the screen.
Junmyeon makes himself as comfortable as he can and then closes his eyes, but sleep is elusive. He thinks about the growing distance between them and Korea, about everything he's leaving behind there. It's not just his family and his friends, his favorite clothes and sentimental keepsakes. It's his whole life, and his whole future. At least he's not entirely alone in this, but the unknown looms frighteningly before him in a way it never has before and he doesn't know how to deal with it. It wasn't so hard, when put on the spot, to make the decision to run away, but living with it will be a lot more complicated.
He gives up on sleep after what feels like much longer than it probably is, when it becomes clear that his brain isn't going to shut up yet, and opens his eyes. At this angle, he can barely make out fighter jets flying on the screen in front of Jongdae's seat. He leans over to get a better look, and Jongdae glances down at him. "Can't sleep?"
"You're right," Junmyeon says quietly, the words coming out more easily than they normally would in the dimly lit cabin. "This is kind of terrifying."
Jongdae doesn't laugh, doesn't try to make a joke of it or say that it'll all be okay when there's no way he can know that. He just lifts up the armrest between them and pulls Junmyeon closer to him, until he can see the screen clearly. "Just forget it for a while and watch things blow up with me," he says, voice gentler than would be expected with words like that.
The fabric of his new sweatshirt is soft under Junmyeon's cheek. He keeps his arm around Junmyeon, hand resting lightly on his hip. He's sturdier than he looks, his chest a good pillow. "I can do that," Junmyeon murmurs, curling a little closer. He's been trying hard to be strong on the outside, and tomorrow he will be again, but for now, he takes comfort in the warmth of Jongdae's body and his steady breathing, watching the silent action on the screen until he finally manages to fall asleep.
Junmyeon doesn't wake up until the cabin lights go up. The TV screen is dark and Jongdae is asleep, leaning against the window. The angles of his face stand out under the harsh fluorescent lights, his jaw, his sharp cheekbones. It's usually camouflaged by his smiles and teasing, but with his expression smoothed out by sleep, Junmyeon can see the shadows dark under his eyelashes. It's been hard on all of them, the fear and sadness and guilt and uncertainty. It'll be better, he hopes, when they can stop running and settle down, however temporarily.
Jongdae wakes up only when the flight attendants announce breakfast. "Is it morning already?" he asks sleepily, rubbing his eyes.
"Morning is relative when you're on an international flight," Junmyeon tells him. "But it's time to wake up. We'll be landing soon."
They eat their breakfast in groggy silence, and soon it's time to land. "There's a little snow," the pilot announces, "so look forward to that when we land. It's not enough to give us any trouble." Junmyeon relays the message to Jongdae, who can't understand English or Japanese.
"I almost wish we would be delayed," he mutters as they circle the airport. Junmyeon pretends not to hear.
But there's no delay, and it's not long before they're on the ground and parked at the gate. They file out slowly, and then Jongdae says, "See you on the outside," like there's no question of it before they separate to go to customs.
There's no reason for it, except that his passport has survived the scrutiny of one country already, but Junmyeon doesn't feel as nervous as he approaches the counter. Maybe he's still too sleepy to worry properly or maybe Jongdae's certainty has given him some confidence, but he doesn't question it. He offers the lies Minseok coached them in when asked about his plans in Canada, and very quickly, he's allowed to pass through.
They meet in the arrivals area, no problems this time. "I can't believe we made it." Baekhyun is smiling widely, giddy with relief, and Junmyeon feels the same. It's insane, going from being afraid to so much as express support for the Siren cause in an e-mail to running halfway across the world with them under an assumed name. In spite of everything, there's a certain thrill to it.
They emerge from the airport to find that the snow that was just barely falling when they landed has picked up significantly. Kris frowns up at the big flakes drifting down from the sky like they've personally offended him. "This could be a problem," he says.
"It's not that bad, is it?" Junmyeon asks. This is Canada. Shouldn't Kris be used to snow?
"Not here," Kris says, "but it'll be worse inland, where we're supposed to drive tonight."
"So, what, we won't be able to go?" Baekhyun asks, his smile gone. The most dangerous parts should be behind them now, but any wrinkle in the plan is still worrying.
"I don't want to get stuck on the way." Kris considers for an unpleasantly long time while the rest of them wait anxiously before he concludes, "Let's wait an hour and see. If it gets worse, we'll go tomorrow."
"But where will we wait?" Junmyeon asks. They should be safe in public here, but he doesn't like the idea, and they're all tired after a long flight.
"Oh," Kris says like that detail hadn't even occurred to him. "Uh, we can go to my apartment, I guess. "
Junmyeon can see the uneasy looks on everyone's faces, but he doesn't have a better alternative to offer. The bad weather is beyond anyone's control. "Let's go. There's no use standing out here in the cold."
They go to Kris' car and he drives them to his apartment. The snow doesn't get any harder, but it doesn't let up either, which isn't good for their chances of getting out of the city tonight.
"Seems like a nice enough city to spend a night in," Jongdae says as they get out of the car, his grim expression belying his words.
"It's a lot nicer when it's not covered in snow," Kris comments dryly, ushering them into the building.
Kris' apartment is small, but for the short time they'll hopefully be here, it'll do. Junmyeon squeezes onto the small couch with Jongdae and Kyungsoo and they settle down to watch the snow fall and hope it stops soon.
"It hardly ever snows like this," Kris tells them, "especially at this time of year."
"We're just that lucky, huh?" Baekhyun mutters.
"I guess we used up all our luck getting here." Jongdae sounds tired and he's already sinking lower on the couch next to Junmyeon.
Junmyeon would like to believe that they've still got some luck left, but after an hour, the snow still shows no signs of letting up. No one wants to admit defeat, but finally Kris sighs and says, "I guess we're staying here tonight. I'll go out and get some food and stuff before it gets any worse out there. Anyone want to come?"
Surprisingly, Lu Han volunteers. Maybe he's happy to have someone he can talk to more easily or maybe he just thinks Kris is less likely to try to attempt conversation. Whatever the reason, the two of them head out, leaving Junmyeon and the others to sit and wait some more.
Kyungsoo moves to join Baekhyun sitting on Kris' bed, all of them drooping even more now that they've lost their momentum. "I'm so ready to not be stuck in rooms doing nothing," Baekhyun comments, but nobody bothers to reply.
The minutes tick by in silence until suddenly Junmyeon hears a faint sound. It takes him a moment to register, because it's been so long since he's heard anything like it, that the sound is someone humming. He looks over to see Jongdae at the other end of the couch absently tapping his fingers on his knee. So this is how he got himself in solitary so many times. It shouldn't, knowing what Jongdae is, what his voice can do, but it makes Junmyeon smile. He must really love music to still keep forgetting himself like this after all the punishment.
"Jongdae," Baekhyun hisses, startling Junmyeon out of his thoughts, and Jongdae stops abruptly. He turns and sees Junmyeon watching him and his eyes go wide.
"I'm sorry," he says, stricken. "I didn't mean to... I just forgot..."
"It's okay," Junmyeon tells him gently. There's no need for Jongdae to worry when he's surrounded by Sirens, but he doesn't know that.
"No, it's not!" Jongdae bursts out, much louder than the situation seems to warrant. It's the first time Junmyeon's heard him yell, but he doesn't think it's him that Jongdae's angry with. He doesn't think Jongdae's even really angry. Sure enough, the fight goes out of him immediately and he continues in a small, unhappy voice, "I don't want to do that to you. To anyone, but especially not to you."
Guilt twists in Junmyeon's stomach again. How many times is his secret going to hurt Jongdae before he can finally bring himself to stop being a coward? He glances to the side and he's not surprised to see Kyungsoo looking at him. He's expecting to be glared at for hurting Jongdae's feelings, but instead Kyungsoo gives him a tiny sympathetic smile and a nod, as if to say, "Go on."
He's right. It'll have to come out sooner or later. Junmyeon's put it off too long already. He takes a deep breath, searching for his courage, and then says, "You don't have to worry about me."
"What?" Now Jongdae just looks confused.
"There's something I haven't told you," Junmyeon continues. "Something that happened during the escape."
He pauses too long, still trying to work up the nerve, so Baekhyun asks, "What are you talking about?"
"I came into solitary to get you out," he says to Jongdae. "And then that guard came in."
"Yeah, I saw," Jongdae says. "But Kyungsoo came and stopped him from doing anything."
Junmyeon looks at Kyungsoo again, but he doesn't give him any help. "He did. But the guard got there before Kyungsoo did and...I panicked. I needed to do something to stop him from raising the alarm and for some reason I thought I should try to sing. To scare him, I guess, long enough for me to figure something out. But it didn't scare him. It...he didn't move. He just stood there."
"Because of Kyungsoo, right?" Jongdae speaks slowly, like he's connecting the dots but doesn't want to reach the logical conclusion.
"No." It comes out quiet but steady. "Because of me."
Silence follows Junmyeon's words, a much more loaded silence than before. He looks nervously at Jongdae, and then at Baekhyun and back again. There's shock written all over their faces. "You're telling me you're...a Siren?" Jongdae finally asks, disbelieving.
"I must be, right?" Junmyeon looks to Kyungsoo for confirmation. "You saw it."
Kyungsoo nods. "The guard was just standing there, perfectly still, and it wasn't me doing it. It wasn't until Junmyeon-hyung stopped singing that he started moving again and I stopped him."
"But how is that possible?" Baekhyun asks. "You must have been tested."
"Every year, just like everybody else," Junmyeon confirms. "Maybe there was a flaw in the tests or maybe I'm just a really late bloomer. I don't know, but I'm sure of what happened and I don't see what else it could mean."
"So that's why you decided to come with us?" The shock is already fading from Baekhyun's expression. "I thought it was weird that you'd throw everything away like that if you didn't have to, when you had such a nice life, but now it makes sense."
"I didn't know if the guard would remember," Junmyeon explains, "or if he'd realize it was me who did it and not Kyungsoo the whole time, but it was too much of a risk. If they knew, I'd probably end up in the high security camp, and if even regular camps are getting dangerous..."
"Did you know?" Baekhyun asks Kyungsoo. He answers the question well enough by looking away, but Baekhyun doesn't bother him, turning back to Junmyeon. "You could've told us. What did you think we'd do, turn you in?
"I'm sorry," Junmyeon says. "I just needed some time to deal with it myself, you know? Get used to the idea. It was a big shock."
"Well, welcome to the cool Siren club," Baekhyun says, letting it go with an easy laugh. "I'm sure you'll fit right in."
Junmyeon smiles, relieved that Baekhyun's taking it so well. Jongdae, on the other hand, has been conspicuously silent, and that's worrying. He's staring past Junmyeon with a frown on his face. Junmyeon grins at him, trying to make light of the situation. "Don't you want me in your club?"
"What?" Jongdae asks, his thoughts clearly elsewhere. "No, I..." His frown deepens. "Why didn't you say anything? Even when I tried to talk to you about coming with us. If you'd just explained, I would've understood."
"I'm sorry," Junmyeon says again. He does feel guilty about that, but there's nothing to be done for it now. It was never about trust, anyway, only about him not being ready. "Like I said, I needed time..."
"What's the big deal?" Baekhyun asks, his tone light and teasing even though Jongdae is serious. "He said he's sorry. You don't like him anymore if he's a Siren?"
"You're such an idiot sometimes," Jongdae mutters.
"There's something we used to talk about in the camp," Kyungsoo jumps in suddenly. "We didn't use our powers, of course, except maybe a little on accident like Jongdae, but we talked about them a lot. One thing we wondered was whether it was only singing that would affect people. If it's tied to our voices, you have to wonder what difference it makes if we're singing or humming or speaking normally."
It's interesting, but Junmyeon doesn't understand why he's saying it now, in the middle of this conversation. Who cares about the details of Siren powers? Baekhyun doesn't seem to get it either, but Jongdae's looking at Kyungsoo and biting his lip like he knows where this is going and he's nervous about it. Junmyeon half expects him to stop Kyungsoo, but he stays quiet.
"We also wondered how much it's under our control. None of us meant to control anyone during the Siren tests, but it happened anyway, so we didn't know how much we can turn it on or off or control the effect it has on people."
"You did a pretty good job with that guard," Junmyeon points out.
Kyungsoo pulls a wry face. "I had no idea if it would work, to tell you the truth. I'd never tried to make anyone do anything before."
"The point is," Jongdae cuts in, getting impatient, "for all that we know, we could be messing with people's heads all the time without meaning to, subtly influencing them to do things or feel things, maybe even in a way that lasts."
"So you thought you might be controlling me?" Junmyeon asks. There's a connection he's still not quite grasping, what this has to do with Jongdae's reaction to learning he's a Siren too. Did he think that was the only reason Junmyeon was nice to any of them, because they unintentionally forced him to be? That that was why he helped them?
Jongdae won't look him in the eye, and then Junmyeon notices that he's blushing and suddenly he gets it. It's like the world shifts, casual touches and caring words taking on a different meaning with this new context, and he wonders how he could have missed it. He feels a flush rise in his own cheeks, and Baekhyun looks back and forth between Junmyeon and Jongdae a few times before he asks, trying to hold back laughter, "Are you telling me you didn't realize Jongdae had a crush on you?"
"Should I have?" Junmyeon asks sheepishly. In retrospect, Jongdae's anger at Junmyeon putting himself in danger with them, and the way he's opened up to Junmyeon and all the times he's stuck close to him make more sense knowing that, but he hadn't realized they meant anything more than friendship.
"Is that a problem?" Baekhyun's eyes flick over to Jongdae again and then back at Junmyeon. "I kind of thought you were interested too."
"Well, I..." Thinking about it, he should have realized that too, that even if he's also gotten close to Baekhyun and Kyungsoo, things are a little different with Jongdae. It was Jongdae above anyone else who he couldn't bear to leave behind.
"What, you're not into guys?" Baekhyun presses, shameless as ever.
"I'm not really..." Junmyeon starts. "Well, yes, but..." It's not new to him, exactly, but it's not something he's entirely comfortable with. However much Baekhyun may be laughing about it, liking another guy is complicated even under normal circumstances.
Baekhyun just looks at him for a moment before he says dryly, "Hyung, if you're worried about what other people think...you're an unregistered Siren traveling from country to country illegally with a group of Sirens you helped escape from an isolation camp and you're worried society will judge you for being gay?"
"Besides, Canada is way more liberal about that kind of thing," Kyungsoo adds, deadpan.
It's all so ridiculous Junmyeon has to laugh, and he's relieved to see that Jongdae does too. It's not as simple as all that, but Baekhyun does have a point. He's already done many things that are a lot riskier, a lot further out of his comfort zone. And besides, looking at Jongdae as he smiles, his eyes crinkling and the corners of his mouth quirking up in that way Junmyeon thought was cute even when he barely knew him, he thinks this could be a risk worth taking.
"Live a little, why don't you?" Baekhyun concludes, grinning. "What do you—?"
"Stop," Jongdae cuts in. He's still smiling, but his voice is firm. "We're not in the camp anymore, so not everything needs to be done with an audience." He meets Junmyeon's eyes, and he looks uncharacteristically shy but determined. "Let's talk about this once we're safely where we're going. Whatever you want to say, whatever we want to do, it can wait until then. Okay?"
"Okay," Junmyeon agrees. Even if they needed a few pushes to get to this point, they can figure out the rest themselves when they have the privacy to do it right. He smiles, feeling so much lighter with his secret out, and happy in spite of the uncertainty, and Jongdae smiles back.
By the time Lu Han and Kris get back, Jongdae and Kyungsoo are asleep, and Baekhyun and Junmyeon are on the verge of joining them. "We brought food," Kris says, "but maybe sleep is better."
"Food is always better." Baekhyun kicks Kyungsoo awake, and Jongdae wakes up at his yelp, looking panicked for just a moment before he sees Kyungsoo attacking Baekhyun in retaliation.
Once that's over, they sit down to eat. "The snow should stop by morning," Kris tells them. "We can leave as soon as the roads are clear." That's a relief, at least, that they won't have to be here for long. It's been a long, stressful trip, and Junmyeon is ready to be done with it.
It's still early when they finish eating, but Kris says they might as well sleep and get up early in the morning. They spread out extra blankets on the floor in a makeshift bed, Kris apologizing that that's all he has to offer. It's not comfortable and there's still a lot to think about, but even though he slept for a few hours on the plane, Junmyeon is tired enough to pass out quickly.
* * *
In the morning, the sky is blue, the sun shining off the accumulated snow. Kris looks out the window and nods his approval. "If the roads are clear all the way, it'll take about two hours to get where we're going."
"Where exactly are we going?" Baekhyun asks him.
"The middle of nowhere," Kris says wryly, "but maybe not as bad as you're used to. You'll have at least a few neighbors."
"And that's safe?" Junmyeon asks. He's spent his whole life in a big city so having neighbors sounds better than being on their own in the wilderness, but considering that they're fugitives, it seems risky.
"This town's a safe place to be," Kris says with an enigmatic smile. Some things don't change, it seems, no matter who's leading them around. "They haven't arrived yet, but over the next few weeks, you might even meet a few new neighbors you know."
Jongdae perks up at that. "Some of the others from our camp?"
Kris manages to keep up the mysterious expression for a few seconds before he gives up and smiles. "Among others. They're on their way. A few stragglers too, from what I hear."
That's a big relief, even if Junmyeon fears it'll still be too few residents of that camp who made it to safety. The others are smiling too, relieved and happy.
After just over two hours of driving, Kris pulls up in front of a two-story apartment building. There's another building next door, and then nothing until a house further down where the road dead ends. "This is going to be your home for now."
The apartment he unlocks for them has three bedrooms, a kitchen and a living room, all with basic furniture. It's not much, but after spending much of the last week in rooms meant for one or two, when they weren't on planes or trains or squeezed into shipping containers, it seems incredibly spacious. Besides, it's only Junmyeon who's been spoiled having an apartment to himself the last few years. The others are used to sharing space.
They drag their suitcases into the bedrooms, splitting up the same way they did on the plane without discussion. "Are you staying with us?" Junmyeon asks Kris. He's carrying a bag, but not a suitcase like the rest of them, and he didn't follow Lu Han into the third bedroom.
Kris shakes his head. "I was going to stay the first night, but since we left late, I have to get back tonight. I have work tomorrow." It's strange, thinking of Kris going to work like an ordinary person, like he didn't sneak five people illegally into the country yesterday. "But I'll be in touch, and I'll be back probably next weekend with the next group." That's strange too, that this isn't over yet. Junmyeon is just glad it is for them, for now.
Before he leaves, Kris takes them out to lunch in a restaurant fifteen minutes drive away. If the waitress and the handful of locals there think anything of the group of strangers speaking multiple languages other than English as they wolf down sandwiches, they don't say anything, just smile politely at them.
"This is kind of weird," Baekhyun comments as he smiles back. "Never thought I'd end up in small town Canada."
"It beats no town Korea," Kyungsoo says.
"True," Baekhyun agrees. "The food's not bad either."
After lunch, they go grocery shopping and then return to the apartment building. There's a middle-aged couple walking down the street, and they stop out front when they see them carrying bags inside. Junmyeon eyes them worriedly, but the smiles they react with are less politely curious than warm and knowing. "Are they...?" Jongdae asks, stopping to look at them.
Junmyeon doesn't know what to make of them, but the question of whether they're somehow involved is answered when Kris waves the couple over. "Mr. and Mrs. Thompson live in that house down the road," he explains, "and they own these apartments. And they're, uh, friends."
"Sorry," the woman says, "we only speak English and a little French, but if you need anything, we're here."
Junmyeon's English is good enough to follow that, more or less, but judging from the other's blank looks, he's the only one, so Kris translates. "Thank you," Baekhyun tells the couple. It's probably just about the only English he knows, but he looks very pleased with himself when they smile widely in response.
Back inside, Kris says, "So I guess you can see why you're here of all places. Their son lives in apartment 101 and he knows all about you too, but nobody else around here does. You can still talk to people, but...try to act normal, and remember the story we gave you."
That's good to hear, both that they don't need to hide away completely and that they'll have some allies nearby. There's still a lot up in the air about what their lives will be like from here on out, but for now, it's something.
After they unpack the groceries, Kris takes them on a tour of the town. There's not much to see, but there's a smaller grocery store that they can walk to, and a doctor's office and a police station and a few restaurants further out. "Try to stay away from the police station, obviously," Kris says dryly.
By the time they're done, it's late afternoon and starting to get dark. "I should get going," Kris says. He leaves them a list of phone numbers, his and the Thompsons' and their son's, along with a few international numbers in case of emergency. "Not that there should be any emergencies," he hastily adds.
"So, what, we just hang out here?" Junmyeon asks. There are worse fates, but considering how little there is in this town, it won't be much less boring than the Siren camp.
"For now," Kris says. "We're hoping to make it possible for you to work or even study, and if you want to help with Siren stuff, there are things you can do, but not yet. Just give us some time."
That's some comfort, at least. Junmyeon's not one for a life of leisure, and he's sure the Sirens have had more than enough of that. It's good to know that some possibilities should open up to them down the line.
With that, Kris says goodbye. It's not until he's gone and they're left alone in the apartment that the reality of the situation really sinks in. "So this is home, I guess," Jongdae says, looking around.
Baekhyun sprawls onto the sofa in front of the TV. "I could get used to this."
Junmyeon thinks about joining him, but Jongdae puts a hand on his arm and he remembers that they have a conversation to finish. Kyungsoo looks over at them and then says, a little too loudly, "Let's see what's on," grabbing the remote out of Baekhyun's hand and turning on the TV. While they're distracted, Junmyeon follows Jongdae into into the bedroom they'll be sharing and closes the door behind them.
"Sorry," Jongdae says. "I just thought we should, you know..."
"Get it over with?" Junmyeon offers.
Jongdae grimaces. "That makes it sound like a bad thing, but yeah, I guess." He sits on the bed closest to his suitcase, so Junmyeon takes the other. The room is small enough that that doesn't put them so far apart. "I wanted to say, there's no pressure. We're stuck together, and I think, I mean, I hope you're not going to stop being my friend, but if that's all you want to be, I'm not going to make a big deal about it."
Junmyeon doesn't know what to think about that. He doesn't think it means that Jongdae's not interested in him, but it's weirdly disappointing, him sounding like he would give up so easily. "But you do want to...?"
"I do like you." Jongdae's smile is shy, but he meets Junmyeon's eyes without hesitation. "I have for a while, even when I thought there was no way anything would ever happen."
"Because you thought I wasn't interested?"
"Because I was locked up in a Siren camp and you weren't," Jongdae says dryly. "And then because I was going to leave the country and you weren't, and also because I was worried about messing with your mind."
"That too." Junmyeon laughs, mostly at himself. This is a bit more complicated than your average university relationship.
"I also wasn't sure about you," Jongdae adds, his voice going softer. "You were really nice to me, but you're nice to everyone."
"I'm nicer to you," Junmyeon finds himself saying. Maybe he's not nicer, exactly, but he's something with Jongdae that he isn't with anyone else. He looks at Jongdae, the corners of his mouth turned up in an uncertain smile, those killer cheekbones, and remembers how it felt to press up against his side and tell him things he wouldn't tell anyone else. "I didn't really get it, before, but I do. Like you, I mean."
Jongdae's face lights up at that, and if Junmyeon had any remaining doubts about his feelings, they'd be erased by how happy the sight makes him. There's something about Jongdae's smile that makes him want to see it as often as he can. He gets up and moves to sit next to Jongdae, taking his hand and lacing their fingers together. "I don't know what's going to happen after this. To us, to the world. I always thought I knew what my future would be like, more or less, so this is..."
"Terrifying," Jongdae supplies. It's not a question.
"Yeah," Junmyeon agrees.
"Would you take it all back, if you could?" Jongdae's gaze is piercing from this close, but Junmyeon doesn't look away. "If you'd never started volunteering, never met any of us, your life would be a lot simpler. A lot less scary."
Junmyeon thinks about what his life was like this time last year, classes and friends and worrying about so many things he's realized don't matter at all, unaware of how easy he had it. He thinks about the camp and the experiments Minseok talked about, and about Jongdae's bright smile and Baekhyun's noisy laugh and Kyungsoo's quiet confidence compared to the way Lu Han is scared of his own shadow.
"No." He punctuates the word with a squeeze of Jongdae's hand. "Not for a second." He's sacrificed a lot, and only time will tell how everything will play out, but if there's one thing he's learned in changing from that carefree student into who he is now, it's that there are some things he's willing to sacrifice for.
"You might regret it." Jongdae's voice is soft now, a little sad. "Even if you don't now, you might later."
Junmyeon considers for a moment how to answer. "I might," he concedes, "but you know what? Not knowing what's going to happen is exciting too. We could change the world, and that's not something I ever believed I could do. It must be exciting for you too, right, after the same old thing every day for so long?"
"That's true." Jongdae's smiling again. That's good.
"Baekhyun was right," Junmyeon continues. "I should live a little and see where it takes me. There's a big world out there and a lot of things to experience, and a lot of things that are more important than me." He turns, and Jongdae's smile is so close now that he can't resist leaning in to press a kiss to it. Jongdae beams in response, and no, in spite of everything, Junmyeon can't regret the day he set foot in that Siren camp or any choice he's made since then.
There's a crash and a yell from the living room and they both jump. "Some things never change," Jongdae says ruefully.
"Should we go rescue Baekhyun?" Junmyeon asks, grinning.
Jongdae looks like he's seriously considering saying no, but then he heaves a put-upon sigh. "I guess." He gets to his feet without letting go of Junmyeon's hand, offering his other hand to pull him up. Junmyeon falls against him and they kiss for one long, lingering moment during which Junmyeon considers whether he really likes Baekhyun that much, but then there's another yell and they break apart.
"It's okay," Jongdae says with a smile that's somehow even bigger than before. "We've got plenty of time to live a lot."
* * *
Epilogue
They've been in Canada for three months when the first news of Siren experiments breaks. Kris calls at 7 p.m. and says, "Turn on the news. They found out about China's experiments."
A minute ago, they were all talking and laughing, but now everyone's looking at Junmyeon as he hangs up the phone. "Turn on the TV," he says, and Baekhyun jumps to do it.
Every channel is showing the same breaking news. Junmyeon's English comprehension isn't what it needs to be to follow the story, but he can read the headline at the bottom of the screen, Shocking Siren Experiments Revealed.
Then the picture changes from the newscaster to three serious-faced people with the caption, Witnesses Speak. Lu Han jumps, and Junmyeon turns to see him staring at the screen with wide eyes. "What's wrong?"
"I know him." Lu Han points to the man on the right side of the screen. He focuses for a moment on the screen, where Chinese characters identify each person. "Huang Zitao. I didn't know his name. He helped me get out."
"I thought that was Yixing," Jongdae says.
"Yixing helped later," Lu Han explains. "Getting out of China." His Korean is still halting, but he manages well enough with them. "Zitao was a guard at the camp. He got hurt in the escape so he stayed behind."
"What are they saying?" Baekhyun asks impatiently, still watching the screen. The man on the right, this Huang Zitao, is speaking Chinese, subtitled in fast-moving English.
Lu Han listens for a while. "The other two are Sirens," he says, pausing to listen between sentences. "Their...what do you call it? To talk with?" He gestures to his throat.
"Vocal cords?" Junmyeon offers.
Lu Han shrugs. "I guess. They were cut. They can't sing so they can't control anyone, but they can't talk either." His voice is more or less steady, but Junmyeon notices that he's tugging his sleeve down over his scarred hand, a nervous habit he's developed. This isn't an easy topic for him. "They wrote down what happened. How they were picked out of the camp's residents and hidden away and used for experiments. Said there are a lot like them, and others who had worse..."
Nobody seems to know what to say when Lu Han finishes. "We really dodged a bullet, didn't we?" Jongdae says faintly. Junmyeon puts a comforting hand on his shoulder and Jongdae flashes him a weak smile.
The screen goes back to the announcer speaking English and Kyungsoo mutes it. "This is big, right?" he says. "People will know now, what's happening. That has to change the game."
It takes a while, but it does come out that this is not an isolated incident, first only in China, but then Russia and then a week later, to a considerably more surprised reaction from the world, France. South Korean politicians express their disgust only to have it leaked a few days later that they were close to implementing their own similar program.
It's not the whole world, but enough countries for it to be a big deal, for it to look like a trend in the treatment of Sirens. There are those who would say it's okay, even necessary for the safety of the non-Siren majority, but when reports of Siren powers being tested on unwilling ordinary citizens in China comes out, public opinion turns more solidly against the governments who supported these things.
"Do you think it'll be enough?" Junmyeon asks Kris one night when he's stopped by their apartment. They're sitting around the TV after dinner, watching the news. "To change things."
"I don't know," Kris admits. "You're the political science expert. What do you think?
Junmyeon would hardly call himself an expert, but he considers the question. "It's an opening for everyone trying to change the system. It's hard to say if it'll work, but now's the time to go for it with everything we've got, while the world is listening."
"Do you think the Siren camps will ever go away?" Jongdae asks. "Maybe we could go home, if they did." There's so much hope in his voice, more than they've had reason for until now.
"Someday," Kris says firmly. "They have to."
"We'll make it happen," Junmyeon agrees. He laughs a little so he doesn't sound too full of himself, but he does mean it, in a way. They've been doing what they can since their escape to help other Sirens here and abroad, but now, with this golden opportunity before them, he's more determined than ever to make a difference.
"With people as great as us working on it, anything can happen," Baekhyun declares grandly.
Everyone laughs, but then Jongdae says, "We've come this far, right? I used to not believe we'd ever live free again, but here we are. So I'll believe it. Anything can happen."
Go here for an epi-epilogue.
Feel free to comment here or back at LJ if you prefer. :)
Pairing/Characters: Junmyeon/Jongdae, guest starring Baekhyun, Kyungsoo, et al.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 41,142
Summary: Perfectly ordinary Kim Junmyeon makes friends, grows up, and becomes an unlikely revolutionary.
Notes: Originally posted here. Big thanks to Linda and Gwynn for betaing and bearing with my flail, Annie for giving me the idea in the first place, and EO tlist for all the handholding. Title from this song.
Warnings: brief mind control, off-screen human experimentation, internment camps, hypothetical genocide (But I promise it's not as scary as it sounds! XD)
Prologue
Jongdae is only seven when the first of what will later be called Sirens are discovered, two teenage sisters who were perfectly normal until suddenly their voices began to affect people's minds. It happens halfway across the world in Spain, so he doesn't hear or think much about it. It's not until almost a year later when more have been found across Europe and the Americas and people are starting to get worried that he pays attention, and only then because his elementary school class cancels the choral performance they've been planning for the end of the school year.
He loves to sing, and all he understands is that he's not supposed to sing anymore, that nobody is supposed to sing anymore. He throws a tantrum over the performance that he's been looking forward to so much, and his mother, who has never raised a hand against him before, slaps him, shocking him into silence. "No more singing," she tells him in a voice that shakes. "You have to stop singing or bad things will happen to you."
For nearly a year and a half, no Sirens are found in Asia, and the Korean media speculates that maybe they'll be safe from this curse. Then one is found in Japan (a famous idol, causing a huge stir), and only two weeks later in Korea, and soon the only countries in the world that haven't discovered Sirens in their population are the ones that haven't looked.
Governments around the world urge caution but insist they're handling the situation. But as more and more people are found to have the power to control others with their voices, the fear gets too big for caution. Jongdae is almost nine when the first big attack happens, three Sirens participating in a research study murdered at a government facility in Australia. He's still young, but old enough now to understand better why his mother snaps at him when he forgets himself and hums.
It goes downhill fast after that. Sirens get angry, calling it a hate crime, and ordinary people get angrier, terrified as it becomes more and more clear that the Siren Issue isn't going to resolve itself. There are demonstrations all over the world, and the news is full of reports of Siren killings. Nobody sings anymore, or listens to music with so much as a hint of a human voice in it. A new era is dawning, and Jongdae watches it fearfully from his family's living room.
There are huge numbers of arrests, and new laws are passed, some nominally to protect Sirens, but most to protect everyone else against them. At first, they're small: bans against singing (as though everyone isn't already too scared of it), and mandatory screening of teenagers, since Siren abilities seem to manifest around puberty or within a few years after that. Then they get bigger, and finally, when Jongdae is ten, China becomes the first country to announce the resettlement of its entire Siren population to "isolation centers" in the countryside.
At first, the backlash is huge. Human rights groups are up in arms, saying that as long as Sirens are abiding by their countries' laws and not using their abilities to control anyone, governments have no right to put them into what sound an awful lot like jails or worse. But more and more Sirens are being discovered every day, and a few cases of them using their abilities to do harm make big news, and in time other countries begin to follow China's example.
South Korea establishes its first Siren community (a nicer name but no different in practice) at the beginning of 2004. Many people, among those unaffected by the law, are relieved, but many more are afraid. No one knows yet what makes someone a Siren, and anyone singled out by the screening could find themselves immediately whisked away. Jongdae sees the way his mother looks at him, remembering how much he loved to sing before the world stopped singing, and it makes him a little scared too.
But the years pass and Jongdae stays safe. The tests aren't foolproof—the ones Jongdae takes involve having him sing in front of a few people and evaluating the effect on them—but they're the best they have right now. Jongdae almost enjoys them because it's the only time he's ever allowed to sing, but only almost because people are wary of anyone who can sing well and he sees how the testers look at him with fear that's very different from his mother's.
He stays safe, that is, until the fall test in his last year of middle school. He waits in a line with his classmates, as he's done for years now, until it's his turn to go before the testers. He closes his eyes like he always does and sings the national anthem like he always does, but when he opens his eyes at the end like he always does, he sees something different.
All three testers are crying. Not just a little: tears are streaming down their cheeks, in spite of their shocked expressions. Jongdae takes a stumbling step back like he's been sucker punched because he's not a little kid anymore and he knows what this means. Then the door opens and he takes another step back as a guard comes in, but there's no escape. "Cover his mouth," the head tester says sharply, wiping the tears from her hardened eyes.
"I won't—" Jongdae starts to say, but then the guard's big hand is over his mouth and the rest of his protest is lost. He doesn't try to resist, feeling small and helpless in the much-larger guard's hold.
The guard drags him out of the room past his wide-eyed classmates and to a police car waiting outside the school. The police officers are wearing earplugs, but they cover his mouth with cloth anyway, uncomfortably tight. He's still too shocked to be scared, so he's mostly annoyed at the unnecessary discomfort. He hasn't become a criminal in the last ten minutes and there's no reason to treat him like one.
They drive him to the police station and put him into what seems to be some kind of holding room with three other scared-looking kids. There's a small boy who doesn't look nearly old enough to be a Siren and two girls sitting together with equally frightened looks on their faces. They're all gagged like him, the little boy constantly pulling at his to no effect.
There are no chairs, so Jongdae sits in a corner and waits. Two more children come in over the next hour, a girl and a boy, and then no one for half an hour. The shock is wearing off and he feels the pain of the too-tight gag and the dryness of his throat and a slowly growing fear as he wonders what will come next. Will they let him say goodbye to his family? Will they hurt him? Will they really take him somewhere or will they just kill him and dump his body somewhere secret? He doesn't really believe that could happen, but he's heard so many wild rumors about what happens to those who fail a Siren test that it's hard not to worry.
Finally, three police officers come into the room. "You will be transported to various Siren communities around the country," one explains. Jongdae thinks it might be one of the ones who brought him here. "For safety reasons, you will not be able to meet anyone before you leave, but you will be able to write letters to say goodbye, and your families will be able to send you a limited number of your belongings."
They take Jongdae and one of the scared girls and put them in the back of a truck, and Jongdae's heart starts to race as he wonders if maybe they really will take them out of the city and shoot them. He's always been an optimistic, trusting sort of person, but he's never had so much reason to be scared before. They drive for what feels like an eternity, though it's probably not even an hour, before they come to a stop. It's dark in the truck, so Jongdae can't see the girl, but he can hear her scramble back away from the door, before it opens, as if she could escape.
Jongdae squints against the bright light, but once his eyes adjust, he sees...not very much. There are mountains and more mountains and trees and dirt, and it's not until he gets out of the truck and looks in the other direction that he sees their destination.
He's never seen a Siren community, though the news talks about them all the time. It looks like he imagines a prison would, with a barbed wire fence and what is probably a watchtower rising stark and intimidating over the grim landscape. This isn't a place where a kid like him, whose worst crime is sometimes fighting with his big brother, belongs. This isn't a place where any kid belongs, far away from everything and everyone familiar.
Now that the shock has worn off, Jongdae feels very young and lost and alone. Is this what his life will be like from now on, surrounded by mountains and barbed wire and hostile guards? Will he never see his family or his friends or any normal people again? Just thinking about the possibility makes his chest feel tight with fear and sorrow.
There's no telling what the future will bring, but it's abundantly, frighteningly clear that in a matter of moments, his life has changed completely, and it's not ever going to be the same again.
It takes Junmyeon an hour and fifteen minutes to drive to the location. It's in the middle of nowhere and it's a lot colder here than in Seoul, the wind making him huddle into his scarf when he gets out of the car.
The media insists that the Siren communities are just that, not prisons, and Junmyeon has no reason to doubt that, but this one looks forbidding, surrounded by a barbed-wire fence. There's a guard post at the entrance, and the guards have to push a button before they can hear Junmyeon speak into the intercom.
"I'm with the new volunteer program," he explains, holding up the papers he was given. They open a slot and he passes them through. The guards spend a while looking over and discussing the papers and Junmyeon watches, unable to hear a word.
Finally, they seem satisfied and hand the papers back to him. "The warden will be out in a minute to meet you," they say through the intercom.
Warden. That sounds awfully prison-like too, and the man who approaches the gate next to the guard station looks unfriendly enough to fit the title. He eyes Junmyeon skeptically, like he doesn't think he belongs in a place like this. Maybe he doesn't, but he's here and he's not going to be intimidated. He stands up straighter and says, "My name is Kim Junmyeon. I'm here for the—"
"Yes, I know," the warden cuts him off. "Let me see your paperwork." There's nowhere to pass it through the gate, so Junmyeon holds it up for him to see. "Kim Junmyeon," he reads. "Welcome." He doesn't sound very welcoming at all. There's something odd about the way he speaks too, but Junmyeon can't put his finger on what it is.
Once he's satisfied with what he sees, he says, "Come inside," but he has to punch a code into a small remote on his belt before there's a buzzing sound and the gate opens automatically, allowing Junmyeon inside and then closing behind him with a definitive slam. "Follow me," the warden says.
They walk across bare, dusty ground to a small cluster of nondescript buildings. "We have forty-three residents here right now," he comments, even though there's not a single person visible.
"Where is everyone?" Junmyeon asks, but the warden ignores him completely. Confused, he repeats his question more loudly, but it's another ten seconds before the warden turns around.
"If you said something, I didn't hear. You'll have to get my attention first." He gestures at his ear and Junmyeon finally gets it. Of course it makes sense to have a deaf person watching over people who can control others with their voices.
"I'm sorry. Where is everyone?" he asks again, being careful to enunciate.
"They don't spend much time outside in the winter," the warden explains. "It's cold and no one wants to stay out and watch them for long."
"Do they need to be watched?" Junmyeon asks, but the warden is already turning away, perhaps intentionally missing his question.
Inside, things look better. It's warm enough for Junmyeon to tug his scarf loose, and although the walls are an unpainted concrete gray, they're decorated with prints of paintings Junmyeon should probably recognize. It's still not the friendliest-looking place, but more like a cheap dormitory than a prison.
The warden points out the kitchen as they pass by, and a hallway branching off to the side where all the bedrooms are. He also points out buttons along the way, which will set off an alarm in case of emergency. "They're for any kind of emergency, so if anyone tries anything funny, you can press those and a guard will come.
"Should I worry about that?" Junmyeon asks, as if he isn't already. When he signed up for the volunteer program, they assured him it would be safe, but they also had him sign release forms, so it's hard to say how much he should believe that. He's not so afraid of Sirens, really, but people love to tell horror stories and they're hard to forget.
"We've been in operation eight years without any significant incidents," the warden says. "I wouldn't worry." Then, after a moment, he adds, "But don't let your guard down. You never know what people are capable of, and they're not like other people."
After that speech, Junmyeon's more than a little surprised when the warden quickly hands him over to one of the Sirens for further orientation. "We don't have a lot of staff here," he explains, "and we can't spare someone to babysit you."
"But is it safe?" There's only one high-security Siren camp, for those who have shown themselves to be dangerous, and this isn't it, but Junmyeon is still wary. There seem to be a lot of precautions in place and they can't all be for nothing. The warden said there haven't been any significant incidents, but what qualifies as significant?
"We've got a pretty harmless group here," the warden says dismissively, "and we make sure they have no weapons except their voices. No one gets in or out of this place without my approval, so it wouldn't do them much good to control you."
They arrive in the large common room and all the conversations abruptly stop, everyone turning to the door with interest. "Where's Baekhyun?" the warden asks, and someone stands up in the far corner of the room.
Baekhyun, it turns out, is a year younger than Junmyeon, but he's been here more than five years already. "It's not so bad, once you get used to it," he tells Junmyeon as he shows him around, and it's hard to tell what truths he's hiding behind his bright smile. Maybe he really doesn't mind being here, but if that's not the case, he's not likely to say it.
Baekhyun's friend Kyungsoo, who joins them for the grand tour, looks a lot less content with his lot. He's small, almost delicate looking, but there's something hard in his eyes that makes Junmyeon a little nervous. Whatever the warden may think about the Sirens here being harmless, they could hurt him if they wanted to, and Kyungsoo almost looks like he might be considering it.
He doesn't say anything, though, just quietly listens as Baekhyun rambles, telling Junmyeon about the camp and the people in it. "I'll introduce you to Ryeowook-hyung later," he says. "He and Taeyeon-noona have been here the longest. They've got some stories about how things were at the beginning, but these days there's not much trouble. Our biggest worry is being bored."
"Or getting sick of everybody here," Kyungsoo puts in. His tone is bland and Junmyeon can't tell if he's joking or not. It wouldn't surprise him if it's the truth. Living with the same people for years, you're bound to get fed up with them sometimes, and it's not like they have the option of getting away for a while.
"How could you ever get sick of me?" Baekhyun asks, grinning and throwing an arm around Kyungsoo's shoulders. Kyungsoo's expression turns more obviously threatening, but he doesn't resist, seemingly resigned to Baekhyun's behavior.
What strikes Junmyeon is that it's just so normal, the way they interact. They could be students at his university, or high school boys on the street. They don't seem like prisoners, and they don't seem like menaces to society either. They seem ordinary, like either of them could easily trade places with Junmyeon and no one would bat an eye. But then, he supposes that there are psychopaths out there who appear normal at first, so he shouldn't make conclusions about them so quickly.
They're just getting back to the common room when two guards pass by, then stop, one of them turning to say, "Hey, you. Volunteer guy."
"Kim Junmyeon," he tells them, even though they didn't ask and probably don't care.
"We need your help with something. Can you grab a lunch tray and take it down to solitary?"
"Solitary?" Junmyeon asks, confused.
"Solitary confinement," the second guard explains. Then, to the guard who asked, he says, "Are you sure that's a good idea on his first day?"
"That kid's harmless," the first guard says dismissively. "And he's locked up anyway. It'll be fine."
Junmyeon is skeptical, but he doesn't want to cause trouble on his first day here, so he agrees, going to pick up a tray of food from the kitchen and carrying it out. Solitary turns out to be a small building in the back of the camp. There's a lock on the outer door that he opens with a key the guards gave him, and inside it's split into three small cells with clear doors, only one of which is occupied.
There's a guy in there, huddled under a blanket with his knees pulled up to his chest. He looks small like that, and the fluorescent lights draw harsh shadows on the sharp angles of his face. His eyes are distant and his mouth is moving, but Junmyeon can't hear anything through the door.
When he notices Junmyeon, his mouth stops moving and his lips quirk up into a smile that might be cute if there was any spark of humor in it. As it is, it makes Junmyeon feel a little sad. "Hi," the man says, or at least that's what Junmyeon assumes he's saying from the accompanying wave.
"Hi," he responds. He can't wave with the lunch tray in his hands, but he flashes a smile to go with it, holding up the tray to show why he's here. Then he realizes the problem that he doesn't know how to get the tray into the cell and gives a sheepish grimace as he looks around for an opening.
Noticing his confusion, the man in the cell points to the side, and Junmyeon notices two buttons. The first doesn't seem to do anything, but the second opens a slot in the door that allows him to pass the tray through, slamming closed almost as soon as the man inside pulls it in. The guards may not take solitary too seriously if they're sending clueless Junmyeon in here, but they're not messing around with these cells.
Thanks, he mouths exaggeratedly but without much feeling, and Junmyeon nods politely in response. He doesn't know what to make of this man, locked away in a soundproof room despite not looking at all threatening, smiling his unhappy smile. But there's nothing more for him to do here, so he waves goodbye and heads back outside.
"What's solitary for?" he asks Baekhyun later, as he joins the Sirens for lunch. The food isn't particularly good, but neither is it terrible, and there's enough for them not to worry about going hungry. "You're not supposed to be prisoners."
Kyungsoo scoffs at that, then, when Junmyeon turns to him, pretends to have no idea where the sound came from. "We're not," Baekhyun agrees, though Junmyeon thinks there might be sarcasm buried under his even tone, "but there are rules here. Jongdae tends to break the number one rule a lot and get stuck in solitary until he repents."
"Jongdae?" Junmyeon asks.
"You met him if you went to solitary," Baekhyun says. "He's the only one there now. He'd be out already, but he keeps getting caught singing to himself."
Junmyeon remembers the way Jongdae's mouth was moving when he arrived in solitary, and the look on his face when he realized he'd been spotted. "Is that the rule he keeps breaking?"
Baekhyun nods. "You'd think after all this time he'd know better. He keeps singing in the shower like no one can hear him there. But he usually gets lonely after a few days and starts behaving again, so he'll be out soon and you can meet him."
"I see," Junmyeon says, not knowing what to make of that. "Do people get put in solitary a lot?"
Baekhyun shrugs, so Ryeowook, who's sitting next to Kyungsoo, chimes in, "The first month, when there were only three of us here, the guards were really nervous so they stuck us in there the whole time until word came down from on high that they were supposed to be taking decent care of us and that wouldn't look good. Since then, there's rarely more than one person in at a time, and a lot of the time there's no one. The rules aren't that hard to follow."
"Sometimes I think people get themselves thrown in there on purpose," Baekhyun comments, "just to have some time alone. Or for Jongdae, because it's the only place that's soundproof, so you can sing loudly and no one will hear you." He's smiling as he says it, but then his smile slips for a second before it returns, stiff, like he thinks he's said something he shouldn't. If no singing is the number one rule, Junmyeon can see why. "Anyway, it's just isolation. We don't get any other punishments."
He quickly changes the subject, and Junmyeon doesn't push. He's curious about a lot of things, but he has plenty of time to learn more about this place, and he'll probably learn more if he stays on the good side of the residents.
The remainder of Junmyeon's time in the camp is spent on mundane tasks, mostly filing papers in the warden's office, but he still has a lot to think about as he drives home that evening. More than anything else, he keeps coming back to the image of Jongdae singing to himself in solitary, and remembering what Baekhyun said about him. Years ago, when being good at singing was no different from being good at art or sports, Junmyeon used to like to sing, but he can't conceive of liking it enough to risk isolation, and maybe even worse if someone decided he was dangerous. But then, thinking about the cold, lonely Siren camp compared to his warm apartment in a lively Seoul neighborhood, he can't help thinking that there's a lot about their lives he wouldn't understand.
When Junmyeon comes back the next week, he gets sent out to solitary again. "Would you believe Jongdae got out and then went right back in the next day?" Baekhyun asks, laughing. "Even for him, that's bad."
"Are you sure he's not just trying to get away from you?" Kyungsoo asks, deadpan, but Baekhyun just laughs harder.
"Maybe he's sick of us," he says, "but he always insists he just forgets. He's such an idiot that I can believe it."
This time, when Junmyeon goes into the building, Jongdae is asleep, slumped against the wall with a blanket pulled up to his neck. It doesn't look comfortable, so he must be very tired to sleep like that. Junmyeon's wondering how he's going to get the tray in without dropping it on the floor, but Jongdae wakes up when the slot opens. He blinks in confusion, looking very young as he rubs his eyes with the back of his hand. He acknowledges Junmyeon with a nod, not even attempting a smile this time.
The slot snaps shut while he's still waiting for Jongdae to move, so Junmyeon has to push the button again before he can hand the food through. Jongdae looks at the tray and makes a face, and Junmyeon would like to ask him why, but the soundproof wall between them makes that impossible. Thanks, Jongdae mouths again. Junmyeon offers him a bright smile in return, not surprised when he doesn't get one back, before heading back out.
Today, he's tasked to clean up after lunch together with Baekhyun and a girl named Soojung who turns out to be the newest resident. "I've already been here for a year, though," she tells him. "They didn't send anyone here after the last two tests."
"They probably don't like to have too many of us in one place," Baekhyun adds. "They moved a few of the older residents last year, supposedly because of space, but more likely to split them up. It's not necessary, but it's not like anyone would listen if we told them that."
Junmyeon nods and busies himself with dishwashing since he doesn't have a good response to that. It makes sense to be careful, he supposes. In spite of the safeguards in place and a warden who can't be affected by them, the combined efforts of a lot of Sirens could easily cause trouble. He hasn't seen any hint that they'd do it, but you never know. The Sirens here may be harmless, but they're not all like that. He remembers the big headlines, Sirens committing robberies or at the worst nearly getting away with murder.
"It would be nice to have someone new," Baekhyun continues, not seeming to mind Junmyeon's lack of response. "Mix things up a bit. Forty-three people doesn't sound like that few, but when you see those same forty-three people all day, every day..."
"Maybe they'll move you next and you'll have forty-some new people to get to know," Soojung teases.
"Don't say that." Baekhyun's voice sounds unexpectedly sharp, but when Junmyeon looks at him, he grins. "I'd hate to have to break in a whole new camp worth of friends."
"Like you wouldn't have everyone wrapped around your finger after a week," Soojung says lightly, leaving Junmyeon to wonder if the tense moment was his imagination.
"Well, in any case, I think they just can't be bothered to do much with us most of the time," Baekhyun concludes. "It's probably better that way. Wouldn't want things to get too interesting here."
"Hmm," Junmyeon says vaguely, still not knowing how to respond, and Baekhyun laughs.
"Okay, enough about our exciting lives here. Tell us more about yourself, Mr. Volunteer."
It's not until the third time that Junmyeon gets to meet Jongdae without a soundproof wall between them. He looks more comfortable in the main building, surrounded by friends and not huddled under a blanket against the cold in solitary, but not a whole lot happier. "Nice to actually meet you," he says blandly. "Thanks for the food."
"You're welcome," Junmyeon says even though the gratitude doesn't sound entirely sincere. There's no reason not to be polite.
"Be nice to him," Baekhyun tells Jongdae, patting him on the back. "He's too innocent for your kind of sarcasm."
"I'm what?" Junmyeon asks, which gets a laugh from everyone within earshot. He supposes Baekhyun might have a point. He's hardly a child, but maybe he is more innocent than everyone here. He's had an easy life compared to a lot of people, he knows, and spending time with Sirens who were separated from their families at young ages and forced to live in the middle of nowhere without support reminds him strongly of that.
"It's okay," Baekhyun assures him with a friendly smile. "We like you even if you're clueless."
Jongdae smiles too, but where Baekhyun's smile is playful, there's an edge to his. Junmyeon doesn't know what to make of it. Maybe that's what happens when you spend too much time alone in solitary, or maybe he'll see a lot of smiles like that as he gets to know more of the residents.
Today, Junmyeon gets sent to the greenhouse with Jongdae and another guy named Jinki who he hasn't talked to before. The greenhouse is small and the plants are a little sad but Jinki explains that if they want any fruits or vegetables that are remotely fresh, this is what they've got. "It's better in the spring and summer," he says, "but winter is pretty pathetic."
They're only there for about ten minutes before someone comes and tells Jinki he's needed elsewhere, leaving Junmyeon and Jongdae alone. They work in silence, watering the plants and pruning a little. Junmyeon wants to talk, uncomfortable with silence, but he doesn't know what to say and doesn't want to put his foot in his mouth, so he bites his tongue until suddenly Jongdae asks, "Why are you here?"
"What do you mean?" Jongdae doesn't sound angry so much as confused, disbelieving. Junmyeon supposes it makes sense. There aren't many people who would choose to spend time in a Siren community, even for just a few hours a week. To tell the truth, he doesn't have a good answer. He's here because he signed up for the volunteer program on a whim and that's about it. He didn't think through what it would mean.
"Why would you come to a place like this if you don't have to?" Jongdae elaborates. "Why not just stay in Seoul and try to forget we exist like everyone else does?"
Junmyeon frowns at that. It's a valid question, but a hard one to answer. He's here to volunteer, to have an interesting new experience and something nice to put on his resume. Maybe he's here because he thought he could make a difference, help some poor, lonely Sirens, but now that he's here, that feels silly, overly self-important. How much of a difference can it make to the Sirens stuck in this place to have him around?
"I mean, are you an idiot?" Jongdae laughs, but it's not really a joke. His eyes are hard. "If I had a choice, I'd stay as far away from here as possible."
"I'm not an idiot," Junmyeon retorts, defensive. Then he winces, embarrassed at his reaction. He shouldn't get angry. "I guess I just wanted to help," he continues, more calmly. "I don't know if I can do anything, but I want to try."
"Hmm," is all Jongdae says to that, but judging from the overly-aggressive weeding he follows it up with, he's not impressed.
"And..." Junmyeon frowns. "I didn't know what it was like. You say you'd want to stay away, but I didn't know what it would be like. Nobody out there does."
"I know," Jongdae says quietly "I remember." He's stopped weeding but his eyes are on the plants, not looking at Junmyeon.
"How long have you been here?" Junmyeon asks hesitantly, not sure if it's something he's allowed to ask even though Baekhyun and a few others volunteered the information readily.
"Five years," Jongdae says, still quiet, "but I haven't forgotten everything about the outside yet." He laughs again, an unpleasant, brittle sound. "Maybe in a few more years."
There are a few moments of awkward silence before Junmyeon asks, even more unsure, "Is it really that bad here?" It's not wonderful, clearly, but their lives are comfortable enough, and it doesn't seem like they're treated badly. Not everyone looks unhappy.
He half expects Jongdae to snap at him, but instead he sighs and bites his lip. "Sorry. I shouldn't say this stuff to you."
"It's okay," Junmyeon assures him. "I can listen, but I won't understand unless you explain." He does want to, though. He wants to help wherever he can. Someone like Baekhyun with a smile always on his face doesn't give him room to, but maybe there is something he can do for Jongdae, even if it's only listening to him. He's wanted to try since he saw Jongdae's flat smile his first day here.
There's a long silence and he wonders if he's offended Jongdae, if he's going to clam up and not say anything more, but at last he speaks. "It's not that bad. We have food and clothes and beds and everything, and the guards don't give us much trouble. But when you're on the outside, you can see so many places and meet so many people and do so many things. Here, everything is the same all the time. We don't even get new people often, and we have so little contact with the outside world, even with our families. What's the point if that's all you can expect from your whole life no matter what you do, the same people and the same thing day after day?"
His voice is soft and he sounds more tired than anything else, but it makes Junmyeon feel sad, and guilty and helpless and a lot of other things. He's been comparing this place favorably to a jail, but compared to the outside world, it's so limited. It's easy for him, coming for a few hours a week, but he can't imagine what it's like to live here all the time, year after year, and especially to know that you may very well spend your entire life here.
He's jolted out of his thoughts by Jongdae grumbling, "Don't make that face." He sounds a little amused underneath the grumpiness, which is a relief. "I'm not trying to guilt trip you. But you said you wanted to understand, so there you go."
"Thank you," Junmyeon says. "For being honest with me."
Jongdae makes a dismissive sound. "It's no big deal." Then, a little more gently, he adds, "It's nice. I can't really say these things to the others. It's not...we don't talk about it, you know? Since everyone's dealing with the same thing." And then, "You're not going to report on me or something, are you? Some people say that's what this volunteer program is for."
"I won't. That's not what this is about." After a moment, he adds, "Not for me, anyway." He'd like to think that the volunteer program is about altruism, but he's not so naïve as to not realize that it's largely for show, to reassure the general public that the Sirens are being treated well, and that maybe for some people it is an excuse to spy on Sirens.
"Good," Jongdae says, and it looks like he's smiling just a little, sincerely, as he goes back to tending plants. It is, after all, a cute smile, Junmyeon thinks.
A few more weeks and Junmyeon starts to get used to visiting the Siren community, and they start to get used to him. Not everyone is friendly, but he gets to know some of the guards and a lot of the Sirens. It's exciting for them to have someone new to talk to, someone to share news of the world they're largely cut off from. He also helps his case by bringing presents. The Sirens get paid a pittance for doing work around the camp and they can use that to buy things, but no one is willing to deliver, so they're limited to what they can get in the commissary.
He has to get approval from the warden, but he brings books, toiletries, food, and even occasionally clothing. "Trying to buy our love, I see," Baekhyun teases, but he doesn't complain when Junmyeon brings him candy he hasn't eaten in years.
Maybe he is buying their love, but there's a reason it's so easy. He's surprised to see all the things they've gotten used to doing without. Kyungsoo shows him the small library that consists mostly of old textbooks one day, explaining, "This is our school, basically."
Junmyeon's brow furrows as he looks around at the books. All of them have seen better days, and they're probably outdated too. "You don't have teachers?" Most Sirens are identified while in middle school or high school, and he vaguely recalls the government saying that they would be allowed to continue their schooling regardless of "resettlement."
"We used to have a tutor here once a week, to assign reading and check our homework and maybe answer a few questions," Kyungsoo says. "Now everyone's old enough that they decided we don't need it anymore. Some people like to look at courses online, but our internet sucks so we can't do much." He shrugs. "It's nothing like you get in real schools. Depending on who you ask, either we're lucky not to have to study hard or we get screwed over."
"What do you think?" He's not sure he'll get an answer, but at least he's gotten to know Kyungsoo enough to realize that he doesn't need to fear for his life around him.
Kyungsoo answers with another shrug. "I like to read," he says. "At least I can do that, and I have lots of time for it."
That's what Junmyeon notices most of all about life in the Siren community, that they have more time than they know what to do with. They have one TV for forty-three people and it barely gets any reception. They have more computers, but they're old and slow and the internet connection is questionable at best. Junmyeon's not convinced there isn't some kind of filter on the internet beyond the acknowledged block on e-mail that makes it refuse to load a number of websites as well as pages containing certain topics, but the warden insists it's just a bad connection.
The Sirens take care of all the unskilled labor, cooking and cleaning and laundry and so on, and some things Junmyeon would have thought require special training. "After the third or fourth time the heat went out and we had to freeze for hours waiting for someone to come fix it, we decided it was time to learn how to do it ourselves," explains Jonghyun, who's close to Junmyeon's age but has been here since he was fourteen, as he does just that. Junmyeon rubs his cold hands together and thinks about how carefree his life was at age fourteen.
It's not like life is so bad here, but it lacks many of the comforts Junmyeon is used to, and more importantly, the freedom. They can't hop in the car or get on the subway and go somewhere. They eat in the same room for every meal and spend every day in the same rooms with the same people for years on end. The only visitors they ever get are Junmyeon and another volunteer who comes midweek, and on rare occasions a politician legally obligated to check up on them (but not without being surrounded by earplug-wielding guards). The monotony must get overwhelming.
Some of the Sirens are cheerful enough, like Baekhyun who's friends with everyone and always talking to someone, but there are also many with dark things in their eyes like Kyungsoo or in their words like Jongdae, and others who seem to sleepwalk through their days without even bothering with emotions.
"We all have our bad days," Jongdae tells him one day as they hang laundry outside while a guard half watches from too far away to hear them. It's a gloomy gray day, but warm enough now that handling wet clothes isn't torture. "When we get fed up or miss people really badly. But other days, it's...bearable. For me, anyway."
"Do you miss people a lot?" Junmyeon asks. Jongdae, more than anyone else, has proven willing to talk to him, not just about light topics or things that are easily laughed off like Baekhyun, but about more difficult subjects and how he feels about them. Junmyeon is glad to learn more, about Siren life and about Jongdae, and maybe he's giving himself too much credit, but he thinks Jongdae looks a little happier for having someone to talk openly with about topics the other Sirens try to avoid.
His question is greeted with silence, and when Junmyeon turns, he finds Jongdae staring at the shirt in his hands. "You know..." He glances over at Junmyeon for just a second before looking down again, uncomfortable. "At first, I missed my family and my friends so much I couldn't take it. I was a mess for a while. And I don't not miss them now, but...you get used to it. You can get used to a lot more than you would expect." He laughs humorlessly and the sound makes Junmyeon flinch. It's been a while since he's heard it. "I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing."
"If it helps you cope..."
"I guess," Jongdae agrees without much conviction. "I just don't want to forget. I'd hate to think that my family and friends have forgotten me."
"I really doubt that," Junmyeon says immediately, firmly. He doesn't have any basis for it, but it's what he'd like to believe. He can't imagine that he'd ever forget his family if he was separated from them. He can't imagine, really, that anyone who was close to Jongdae would find him so forgettable. "You don't get to contact people outside at all?"
"They don't want us sending e-mails, and we don't get mail up here. Security reasons, I guess. I got to send a letter when I was first brought here, and my parents were allowed to send me one back along with some clothes and stuff, but it was basically to say goodbye. I don't know how they justify it, but we all know it's to keep us from being in touch with 'free the Sirens' people."
It doesn't seem fair to cut them off from the outside world to avoid that, but he can understand why it's considered necessary. The temptation would surely be too great, and the Sirens themselves would be in danger if they got free in a world that's too afraid to be able to peacefully deal with their existence.
"It's okay," Jongdae continues when Junmyeon takes too long thinking how to respond. "I mean, it sucks, but I wouldn't want to worry my family. It's better for them to move on with their lives, and it's easier for us if we don't think about what's out there." He doesn't sound like he really believes it, but Junmyeon's not about to say so.
"I guess you're right," he says.
Jongdae laughs, a little sadly, but not the same empty sound as before, and gives Junmyeon a playful smack on the arm. "You're a terrible liar, hyung," he says dryly. "But thanks."
Junmyeon is busy with school and socializing and now volunteering so he's been working with the Sirens for more than two months before he goes to have dinner at his parents' house. "We never see you anymore," his mother complains, but she says that every time she sees him no matter how long it's been, so he doesn't take it too seriously.
"I'm sorry," he says, giving her a hug. "I've just got so much going on."
"You've been spending all your time up in the mountains, huh?" his father says, disapproval clear in his tone. His father hadn't been impressed when Junmyeon told him he'd signed up for the volunteer program, thinking his free time was better spent on something more likely to advance his future career as a politician or professor or something similarly respectable.
"And school." Junmyeon can't help getting defensive, even though he knows his parents mean well. "I'm only spending one day a week at the Siren community."
"I think it's nice that you want to do something to help people," his mother tells him, "but surely there are better ways, ones that don't involve spending time with those kinds of people."
"Those kinds of people?" he echoes. He can guess what she means and it would be better to let it go, but the words are out of his mouth before he can stop himself.
"You know, the Sirens. They're not way out there away from the city for no reason. They're dangerous and I don't want to see you get hurt."
Junmyeon is surprised by how quickly anger flares up in him at her casual words. It's hardly the first time he's heard people talk about the dangers of Sirens, and he's never felt the need to contradict them. "I don't know what kind of people you think Sirens are, but they're not any different from us, except for what they can do, and they never use their abilities. They haven't done anything to deserve being locked away. It could just as easily have been me who failed a Siren test and got taken away to live there for the rest of my life and then what would you think?"
"Don't say that!" his mother snaps, and Junmyeon immediately feels guilty. He knows how much his parents worried about him when he was a teenager. He liked to sing too, back in the days before anyone had ever heard of Sirens, and although no one's proven it, singing ability and Siren powers have long been suspected to be linked.
"I'm sorry," he says, more gently, "but it's true. Sirens are just like ordinary people, except for their abilities. Some of them are bad people, but most of them aren't. The ones in this camp, they're decent people just like you and me. They're not going to hurt me." He can't say that for sure, but even the warden and the guards seem to think that the Sirens in this particular community are no danger, and Junmyeon has seen nothing that would make him believe otherwise. "It's not like there aren't dangerous people out in the world too."
His mother looks like she wants to argue, but she bites her tongue. "Come on, let's eat," his father says, but as they sit down, he adds, "Your mother and I just worry about you. You never know how safe it really is, and in any case, you have to be careful who and what you let yourself be associated with. You're young, but things you do at this age can taint your reputation later."
"I know," Junmyeon agrees, more to put an end to this conversation than because he does understand. It's not so hard to believe that there are people who would judge him for having anything to do with Sirens, but those are probably people he doesn't want anything to do with himself. "But it's just volunteering. There's nothing wrong with that."
"Just be careful," his mother says, her tone restrained now. "We want you to be safe, that's all."
"I know," Junmyeon repeats with a smile, meaning it this time. The conversation goes in another direction after that, but Junmyeon finds himself still thinking about the Sirens, remembering Jongdae saying he doesn't want to worry his family. How lucky he is, to have parents he can visit, parents who can tell him that they worry about him. There's a lot, he realizes anew, that really isn't fair.
The end of the school year is approaching and with final exams hanging over him, Junmyeon is more bothered than usual by losing the better part of a day to the Siren camp. It's only volunteering, so he doesn't have to go if he doesn't want to, but he doesn't want to back out of his commitment. Besides, he reasons, it'll be good to take a break.
Up in the mountains, life goes on the same as always, even though many of the residents are at an age where, if they weren't here, they'd be studying for final exams too. "Yuck, tests," says Baekhyun when the subject comes up over lunch. "I'm really not sorry that I don't have to deal with those anymore."
"I thought university was supposed to be easier," Jongdae says. "How much do you really need to study?"
Before Junmyeon can answer, Baekhyun says, "You're one of those people who studies way more than you need to just in case, aren't you? With color coded notes all neatly organized and a schedule of what you're going to study when."
"I'm not that bad," Junmyeon grumbles, but he can't keep a smile off his face at Baekhyun's now-familiar teasing. Besides, he's not entirely wrong.
"I can just picture it," Jongdae chimes in. "You at your desk surrounded by neat piles of notes and textbooks and a few pencils lined up in case you break one."
That makes Junmyeon laugh as he pictures the mess on his desk at home. "I do study hard, but I can guarantee you're overestimating how neat I am."
"Really?" Jongdae cocks his head, studying Junmyeon thoughtfully. "I can't picture you being messy."
"You have no idea." That gets a laugh, and Junmyeon smiles. It was good, after all, to come here. It's nice to relax and let life go for a little while, and maybe to realize that school isn't everything.
"What are you studying anyway?" asks Ryeowook.
"Political science," Junmyeon tells him.
"Now that I can see," Jongdae says with a teasing smile. "You interning with politicians in a perfect suit. Isn't that how you should be spending your weekends?"
"My parents think so," Junmyeon concedes. The reaction to that is a little uncomfortable, like no one knows what to say when it sounds like he shouldn't be there. It's only okay if it's joking, so he hurriedly adds, "But I'd rather come here. It's more fun, and I probably learn more too."
Still no one says anything for a few awkward moments until Baekhyun laughs a little too loud. "Well, I'll vote for you when you become a politician, but I expect you to see if you can get a law passed to at least give us a few more TVs."
"And better food," Jongdae adds. Finally, everyone laughs, the weird atmosphere broken.
Later, Junmyeon helps Kyungsoo put sheets in the washing machines, and Kyungsoo breaks the reasonably comfortable silence to ask, "Why are you here? You do seem like you'd want to do something to prepare for your future instead of coming here and doing laundry. Does it look that good, spending time with the poor lonely Sirens?"
"No," Junmyeon admits. "To a lot of people, it looks bad if I have anything to do with you." He frowns, considering the question. Even though he's been coming to the camp for a while now, it's still hard to say exactly why. "Jongdae asked me that too, a while back. He said I was an idiot for coming here when I didn't have to."
"You probably are." Kyungsoo can't quite keep a small smile off his face, softening his words.
"Maybe," Junmyeon agrees with a laugh. "But...I guess I wanted to do something that wasn't about preparing for my future. I've worked so hard for so long without even stopping to think about if it's what I really want or just what I think I should do. I've been too wrapped up in my own life and I wanted to try to do something for other people. I guess. Something like that," he finishes lamely.
"Hm," is the only response he gets from Kyungsoo.
Too late, Junmyeon remembers who he's talking to. It's so easy to forget that even if the Sirens here aren't so different from him, their everyday lives and the choices they have are. There's very little for them to look forward to in the future, and here he is making the paths that are open to him but not them sound like a burden. "Sorry, I didn't mean to..."
"I know," Kyungsoo says with no accusation in his tone. "You never do."
Junmyeon winces. Good intentions only go so far if this is something he does consistently. How many times has he put his foot in his mouth without even realizing? "I'm sorry," he repeats.
Kyungsoo pauses to start one of the washers, and it's not until he's done that he turns to Junmyeon. His eyes are piercing but his voice is quiet and even. "You're trying. That's better than most people out there who don't even have a clue and don't care to get one. Just keep trying."
"I will," Junmyeon promises.
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes a little at the too earnest response, but he follows it up with a small smile. "And don't forget us when you're a hotshot politician or whatever. We could really use more people on our side out there, even if it's not a position that'll make you look good."
"I won't forget. I can't promise I'll be a hotshot politician, but I'll do what I can." It's talking big, considering that he's nothing but a university student with uncertain aspirations, but he'd like to do what he can to help the Sirens when he's able to. There has to be something he can do, wherever he ends up.
"So don't fail your finals or you won't be any use to us," Kyungsoo adds mildly.
Junmyeon laughs hard, and harder still when Kyungsoo looks startled by his reaction, and thinks that volunteering here, whatever his parents or the world may think, was a very good decision.
The e-mail comes out of nowhere. Junmyeon is at home, working on a paper, when suddenly a notification pops up of an e-mail from an unfamiliar address, no subject. He expects it to be spam, but when he looks at his inbox, he sees, Do you think Sirens are people too?
He stares at it, perplexed. What kind of question is that to ask a total stranger out of the blue? He should probably ignore it, but it's not in his nature to ignore something being asked of him, however strange it may be. Besides, he can't help being curious. Of course I do, he writes back. Who is this? How did you get my e-mail?
The reply is almost immediate. I'm sorry for the secrecy, but it's essential for my line of work. A friend connected to the volunteer program gave me your info. Said you might be sympathetic.
Sympathetic to what? he asks, wary.
It takes a bit longer for the next e-mail to come, but when it does, it's exactly what he was both anticipating and fearing. To the idea that Sirens who haven't harmed anyone deserve to live free too.
It's not an entirely shocking sentiment. He's heard of protests against the Siren camps, and a few years ago, a case of two guards trying to free the Sirens under their care was all over the news. He knows that the Sirens are cut off from the outside world in large part to keep them from being in contact with people who might try to break them out. But he doesn't know anyone who's actively against Siren isolation and he's never imagined getting involved in that, even now that he's become friendly with Sirens and realized how unfair their lot is.
He thinks about the camp and everyone he's met there. It's not such a terrible place to live, but he's seen the problems, the only adequate conditions and the isolation, the way they have no opportunity to do anything with their lives beyond live. He can't imagine being in the same position. Is it fair that Jongdae and Baekhyun and the others should be stuck there even though they've never done anything wrong?
Once, he would have said it was a necessary evil, even if it wasn't fair. That it's not safe to have people who can do what they can interacting with regular people, not for ordinary people and not for the Sirens themselves, after the kind of violence that erupted before they were isolated. But having met Sirens, having gotten to know them for the first time and realized that he's not afraid, and having seen that they're barely any different from him, it's harder to believe that they should be sacrificed for the greater good. Surely there must be a better way.
But even if he does believe that they should be free, that's a dangerous opinion to express to a stranger. For all he knows, this is a trap. It's not illegal to disapprove of Siren isolation, but saying so could easily get him kicked out of the volunteer program and taint his reputation for years to come. On the other hand, if it's not a ruse...is he brave enough to say what he's thinking and maybe even act on it? He's always followed the rules, whatever he thought of them. He doesn't know if he has it in him to go against the grain, especially on something so big.
In the end, he writes back an e-mail as noncommittal as he can manage: Who would tell a stranger who's not even willing to give a name something like that? It's not a no, but it's a long way from a yes.
Would you tell me even if I did give you my name? comes the quick response. Assuming you do agree. It almost sounds like teasing, but it's hard to tell from text on a screen, written by a stranger.
I might, he writes back. He doesn't know, honestly. He still needs to work up the courage.
I can't do that yet, but I can tell you that I'm not asking for no reason, or to trap you. I can also tell you that this is becoming an urgent question. Things are changing. Governments are deciding that isolating Sirens isn't enough.
What do you mean? he writes back, curious but not sure he wants to know. This is getting serious, and he's afraid of crossing a line he can't uncross. If what this person knows is bad enough, he might not be able to say no.
People are still scared. They want Sirens' powers deactivated or a way to protect against them, and if they can't have that, they want the Sirens gone. Politicians would be only too happy to not have to worry about them anymore.
Junmyeon stares at his e-mail. There have been rumors, of course, but this person talks like they're sure, like Sirens being hurt or killed not by angry mobs but by the governments that claim to be concerned about their safety is more than just a disturbing but unfounded rumor. Do you really know that? he asks. It's not just rumors?
I do. I know people who know people. China's already been doing experiments for years, and they're probably not the only ones. Now Korea's seriously considering doing the same.
What kind of experiments? Junmyeon asks. The responsible, rule-abiding part of him is telling him to stop, to delete these e-mails and back away before he gets involved in something dangerous, but he wants to know too badly, and maybe it's already too late. Maybe he set himself on the path to this as soon as he decided to volunteer to work with Sirens. Knowing them like he does now, how can he look away from this? Ignoring the protests of his responsible side, he pushes send.
The response is quick again. He wonders what the other person is doing, if he or she is a student, free at this time of day, or a working adult ignoring work, or even hiding in some dark cave somewhere. What kind of person in Korea knows people who know people who know about experiments being done on Sirens in China? That's not what matters now, but it's easier to focus on the irrelevant.
When he reads the e-mail, it says, Anything that sounds like it might work. Cutting out tongues or slashing vocal cords. Meds to change body and brain chemistry. There are even rumors of electroshock and lobotomies to leave their brains such messes they can't do any harm but can't do much of anything else either. They've also been using ordinary people as test subjects to find out just how far these Siren powers can go, and I doubt any of them volunteered.
But they wouldn't do that here. They couldn't. China is different, he tells himself. China is not as free of a country. Maybe awful things like that could happen in China, but not here. He can't believe that.
He's afraid to look at the next e-mail, afraid it'll tell him that he's naïve to think Korea is any better, but curiosity gets the better of him and he does. Twenty years ago, people would've said they couldn't lock up ordinary citizens who haven't broken any law. Things change. People do a lot of things they usually wouldn't when they're scared.
And it's true, really. That's what makes it so frightening, that, having lived through the upheaval that followed the discovery of Sirens, being just old enough to realize how the world has changed since then, he knows it's true that people will go to great lengths to protect themselves. He remembers seeing the news about otherwise ordinary people taking it upon themselves to kill Sirens who hadn't done anything to them, or even people only suspected of having those abilities. Things are better now, but it's not so hard to imagine them getting bad again, or even worse than before, as the Siren population keeps growing.
He reads the last e-mail again, and again and again until he has it memorized, and even though he's unsure and scared and a lot of other things, he finally replies, If I said I was sympathetic, what would you want from me?
This time, his inbox stays empty much longer and he starts to worry almost immediately. Maybe it really was a trap. This could definitely get him kicked out of the volunteer program, and the thought of that, of not seeing Jongdae or Baekhyun or Kyungsoo or even the Sirens he hasn't gotten as close to again, makes him sadder than he would've expected considering that he hasn't known them that long. It could also do worse, could hurt his reputation and his future job prospects and even his other friendships, if he's known to have such controversial political opinions.
He's approaching the point of serious freaking out when an e-mail notification finally pops up. Thank you for your reply. I'd like to contact you in a less traceable way, the message says. You'll hear from me soon.
And that's it. His inbox is quiet, even after he sends a brief reply acknowledging that he got the e-mail. He continues staring at his computer for an hour, trying to distract himself by reading news sites but not absorbing anything, before he finally tears himself away. Either he really will hear something soon or this is the end of it; he's made his decision and the only thing to do now is to see what comes of it.
Junmyeon still hasn't heard anything when he goes to the Siren camp two days later. Nothing has changed since the last time he was there, but he finds himself looking at it with new eyes. It's still not such a bad place, but when he thinks about the possibility of experiments being done on the residents, the dull gray walls and bored guards suddenly seem a lot more ominous. Living out an entire life in a place like this sounds unpleasant but bearable. Having your life in danger just because you have an unasked for special ability, being trapped in a place where horrible things might happen to you: that's a whole different story.
He gets too lost in those thoughts and Jongdae waves a hand in front of his face. He's having lunch with the Sirens as usual, since the guards have long since given up trying to assign him tasks beyond helping the Sirens out and taking food to solitary when Jongdae gets himself thrown in there. "Hello? Are you there?"
"Sorry." Junmyeon forces his attention back to the immediate reality. "Just thinking."
"Deep thoughts, I'm sure," Baekhyun says dryly.
Junmyeon wonders how he'd react if he knew the truth. Most of the Sirens don't say much to him on the subject, but he can't imagine that they don't resent being locked up with the key thrown away, and of course they'd want to get out of here if they knew they were in danger. (Are they really in danger? He's still not sure he believes it, but maybe it's just that he doesn't want to.)
"Well, you know Junmyeon-hyung leads a very busy and complicated life," Jongdae puts in. "He must have a lot more to think deep thoughts about than we do." He smiles to soften the sarcasm, and Junmyeon is struck by the difference between that grin and the humorless smile when he first met Jongdae. There's genuine happiness in his smile now, and a twinkle in his eyes. Would all that progress be lost if he knew that much worse than what he's experienced so far might be coming for him? If he knew he might have a lot more to fear than just being forgotten?
"Yes, I do," Junmyeon agrees, but he's not good enough at deadpan to make it really funny. They laugh at his attempt anyway.
He manages to act passably normal the rest of the day, but his thoughts are still miles away. He looks around and wonders if everyone could get out or just a few, leaving the rest to their fate. He wonders how, and whether they'd actually make it to a safe place or just be caught and returned, or worse. He wonders if there is a safe place anywhere in the world. If Korea is considering hurting the Sirens its already locked up, who's to say other countries wouldn't?
"Are you okay?" asks Kyuhyun, another of the older Sirens. Junmyeon is helping him and Soojung cut vegetables for dinner. "You usually never shut up."
"Just tired, I guess," Junmyeon says, pasting a smile on his face. "Too much studying." Then, before he can stop himself, the words slip out: "Do you ever think about getting out of here?"
His question is greeted with dead silence, the chopping sounds stopping abruptly. When he looks up, both of the Sirens are staring at him. "Sorry, that's, umm..." he stammers, trying to think of a way to take it back. "Forget it. I shouldn't have said anything."
The silence stretches out, long and awkward, before Soojung finally asks, "Are you sure you're not a plant? Baekhyun-oppa and Jongdae-oppa keep insisting you're harmless, but not everyone believes it."
"I'm not," he says, as if that will make a difference. "I just...I wondered, I guess. Sorry. Nevermind."
There's a few more beats of silence before Kyuhyun says, "Who wouldn't? Think about it, that is. But it's just thinking, and if you are a plant, you can tell your bosses they have nothing to worry about. Not here, anyway." There's just a hint of harshness to his tone, a subtle undercurrent of anger that says it's more lack of opportunity than lack of desire to escape that keeps them here, but Junmyeon pretends not to hear it.
"I'll do that," he says, hoping it's okay to joke about it, and he's relieved when the other two laugh, the awkward moment broken.
"You'd probably make a terrible spy," Kyuhyun comments dryly as they turn back to their task, and Junmyeon laughs again and tries not to think about how he just might test out that theory soon.
The message he's been waiting for finally comes in the form of an envelope with Junmyeon's name on it, delivered not to his apartment but to his parents' home. "There's no address on it, just your name," his mom tells him over the phone. "Somebody must have dropped it off. Should I open it?"
"No, I'll come get it tonight," Junmyeon says. He hopes his voice is steady, even though his heart is pounding with anticipation and fear. This has to be it.
He goes to get the letter as soon as he finishes classes for the day. "Do you know who it's from?" his mom asks. "I was so surprised when I found it. Why would anyone hand deliver a letter for you to here?"
"It's probably just a joke," he says dismissively. "One of my friends being weird."
She accepts his explanation, and he hurries home, finally opening the envelope in the safety of his own apartment. There's a letter inside, typed, with no name at the top or the bottom. It's not long, and he wonders if it'll really answer his questions or just leave him with more. Swallowing down his nervousness, he starts to read.
I apologize again for the secrecy, but when you're planning the kind of things we are, it's necessary. I hope this letter made it to you safely without anyone else reading it.
You still haven't said that you'd like to help our cause, but I'm assuming from your e-mails that you are sympathetic. If you don't want to get involved, destroy this letter now and forget you ever heard from me, for both our sakes. Otherwise, keep reading.
As you've probably guessed, there is a movement concerned with the rights of Sirens. Some people are trying to work within the government to help their legal standing and conditions in the Siren communities, but that's not going well recently, so many of us have started looking for more immediate solutions before things get really bad. And believe me, it's looking like they will, so this is necessary.
We do have some connections to the Siren camps, but there's more oversight on guards and other employees than on the volunteers, so we felt it would be valuable to try to recruit some to help us. Even if you don't want to get involved directly, you might be able to provide us with useful information about the camps and the residents.
If you're willing to help us, next time you go by the volunteer office, leave a note saying "yes" on the bookshelf in the waiting area. Our contact there will be in touch with you after that. We hope for your cooperation in working toward what's right.
It doesn't tell him much more than he's already heard, but it makes it concrete, the possibility of him getting involved in these illicit activities. He has a decision to make now, whether he feels strongly enough and is brave enough to go somewhere with the thoughts he's been having about wanting to help the Sirens he's come to know.
He stays up most of the night thinking about it, and continues through his drive to the Siren camp the next day, running through the same thoughts over and over. He knows he doesn't like how Sirens are treated, and if they really are in danger, he likes it even less. He knows that he wants to help, but he doesn't know if he really has it in him to take the next step when helping means some serious rule breaking, or even law-breaking. He signed a contract promising not to share information about the Siren camp, so he could get in genuine trouble if he does, and this could easily go beyond just giving information. This is big and it scares him.
He doesn't want a repeat of the previous week, so he tries his best to act normal and not get lost in his thoughts, but it's even harder now. He spends the time before lunch in the library with Jongdae and Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo is content to read, barely acknowledging that he's not alone, but Jongdae seems confused by Junmyeon's relative silence. "Is something wrong?" he asks. "You were really distracted last week too."
"It's nothing," Junmyeon tells him with his best reassuring smile.
Jongdae gives him a measuring look, not fooled for a second. He knows Junmyeon too well now. "You can talk to us too, hyung. It doesn't have to go all one way. We're friends, right?"
That's the perfect thing to say to make Junmyeon feel guilty if he brushes it off, and he has a feeling Jongdae knows that. Not that he's insincere, but he knows by now which buttons to push. "It's really not a big deal," he insists. "I just need to make a decision about something and I'm having a hard time."
"Well, maybe we can help you," Jongdae says, glancing over at Kyungsoo who's still looking at his book but probably listening.
"It's just..." Junmyeon frowns, trying to find a way to phrase this that won't give anything away. "Have you ever had something that you feel like you should do and you want to do it, but you don't know if you can?"
"You don't think you're capable or you're too scared?" Jongdae asks, right to the point.
It's not easy to say, but Jongdae's right: they have become friends and he should be able to trust them. "I'm scared," he admits. "It's a big thing and it could go badly. I don't know if I'm capable either, but being scared is what's holding me back from trying."
"I can't really give you advice if you don't want to say more, but I'd say some things are worth doing no matter how scary they are. You have to decide if this is one of those things. And, you know...making decisions is hard, but you're lucky to be able to. Don't forget that." Jongdae casts another glance at Kyungsoo, who's stopped pretending to read, again, and there's something in the look that Junmyeon can't understand. He feels it again, the divide between their world and his. In this moment, for some reason, it makes him feel a little lonely.
Then Jongdae smiles to soften his words, and throws an arm around Junmyeon's shoulders in a comforting gesture. "From what I know of you, I think you're brave enough to do anything, if it matters enough. Don't forget that either."
He thinks about Jongdae's words as he heads home that night. It's true that he's lucky to have choices, and he should make the ones he knows are right. Besides, he's been going to the Siren camp long enough to get to know a lot of people there, to make real friends. Even if he didn't care about the rights of Sirens in general, he couldn't chicken out when his friends are in danger and he could do something to help. He has to do this, and hopefully once he does, he'll find out that Jongdae was also right about him being brave enough after all.
Three days later, Junmyeon stops by the volunteer office to drop off some paperwork. In his pocket is a scrap of paper with only one word on it. On his way out, ignoring the pounding of his heart as best as he can, he draws it out of his pocket and slips it on top of the books on the middle shelf. He's expecting someone to yell at him, even though he's done nothing obviously wrong, but no one says a word, so he hurries out without looking back.
He makes it safely out the door and into his car, shaking with nerves but determined. He's made his decision, done what he knows he needs to do. Now all he can do is wait to see what will come of it.
This time, the response appears in his mailbox, no envelope, just a small piece of paper folded in half that he almost misses among the junk mail. He unfolds it and reads the straightforward information: a place, a date and a time. He recognizes the name of the bar, and the date is this Friday, 9:30 p.m. Below that is one sentence: You'll meet a friend from the office.
His mysterious e-mail contact mentioned a connection to the volunteer program, and it seems likely that they have someone in the office since that's where Junmyeon was told to leave his note, but he doesn't have any idea who it could be. Nobody he's met there looks suspicious, but they wouldn't be very good at what they're doing if they were obviously up to something.
It's scary, facing the unknown like this, but in a way he feels better now that things have been set in motion. He doesn't know what to expect, but this has been a long time coming, and he's ready as he'll ever be to find out.
He walks into the bar and is immediately shocked by how crowded it is. That's to be expected in a bar on a Friday night, but why in the world would anyone set up a clandestine meeting to talk about illegal activities in a place like this? Surely they're going to get caught. He almost freaks out and walks right back out, but some steel he didn't know he had in his backbone stops him. He's come this far; he can't back out now, especially knowing what's at stake.
He stops by the bar for a drink he probably won't touch and then walks around, looking for a familiar face. He's assuming his contact is someone from the volunteer office, but that could mean anyone from the grumpy middle-aged woman he checks his schedule with each month to the janitor he keeps running into in the hallway. Nobody there has particularly struck him as looking like a revolutionary.
Finally, when he's starting to get worried that he won't find them in the crowd, he spots a young man in a corner, smiling and talking to two women at the next table over. It takes a moment to figure out why he looks familiar, but then Junmyeon recognizes him. He's never actually talked to him, but he's seen him behind the counter in the volunteer office, chatting with the other workers and occasionally doing some filing. That has to be who he's looking for, but this casually-dressed guy with a goofy smile who can't be any older than Junmyeon isn't at all what he's expecting.
Still, there's no one else, so he uncertainly makes his way over. The man stops talking and says to the women, "Ah, finally my friend is here. It was nice talking to you."
They say goodbye and move away, which makes Junmyeon feel a little better even though there are still several people close enough that they might be able to hear them over the music. "Hi," he says, feeling a little silly for it, as he sits down.
"Hi!" the man says, weirdly cheerful. "I already know your name, so I guess it's only fair to introduce myself. Park Chanyeol."
"Kim Junmyeon," he says automatically, even though Chanyeol said he didn't need the introduction. "Nice to meet you. I mean...I've seen you, but I don't think we've ever spoken."
"No," Chanyeol confirms. "I mostly listen when I'm there."
"But I always see you talking to people," Junmyeon points out.
"You'd be surprised what you can hear when people think you're not paying attention," Chanyeol says. He's smiling widely, but Junmyeon's starting to wonder if that's not a front. Who would suspect someone grinning like such an idiot of anything? Who would think he was saying anything worth listening in on? He's still thinking about that when Chanyeol continues, "I wasn't sure you'd come, even after the note. You seem really skittish."
"I just...I've never done anything like this before." Junmyeon glances warily around, probably proving Chanyeol's point.
"Me neither," Chanyeol says. "Until I got into this, that is. That's okay. You'll get used to it."
"And what is this, exactly?" Junmyeon asks, lowering his voice even though no one seems to be paying attention to them. It feels really strange to be talking about this in public.
"It depends on how much we can trust you."
And what about how much I can trust you? Junmyeon thinks. It's hard to suspect someone like Chanyeol of being out to get him, but isn't that the point?
"To start with, we'd just like you to give us some information," Chanyeol continues. "If you want to stop at that, it's all good. There's no commitment. If you want to get in deeper, we'll see what you can do."
"Who's 'we?'" Junmyeon asks, not really expecting an answer.
Chanyeol laughs, overly loudly. A few people glance their way, then turn away again, uninterested. "To tell you the truth, I don't know. I've only met a few people, and only one who's any higher up the chain than me. It's safer that way, in case someone talks or gets caught." He laughs again, more quietly and with less humor. "They send me out for recruiting since it wouldn't do much damage if I got turned in by someone."
"I'm not asking you to name names," Junmyeon says, a little impatient. He's nervous and he wants to get this over with and get out of here. "I just mean who are you? What do you do?"
"All kinds of things," Chanyeol says with another chuckle. "Sorry, I don't mean to be cagey but I don't know much either. Basically, we try to help our friends, however we can. Right now we're trying to learn as much about their homes as we can so that if they need to move, we'll be ready to help them."
It takes Junmyeon a moment to decode that, even if it's pretty obvious. They're preparing to help Sirens escape? It makes sense, really, if the Sirens are in danger, and whoever e-mailed him did ask if he thinks Sirens deserve to live free, but it still comes as a shock. It's one thing to hypothetically consider escape and another to be actively working toward it, even if they're only planning now.
"Look a little less bug eyed and a little more like you're having a fun conversation in a bar," Chanyeol tells him, sounding more genuinely amused this time.
"Sorry." Junmyeon attempts to school his face into a more cheerful, less freaked out expression, and it must work well enough since Chanyeol doesn't comment further. "So how does it work? Do I tell you stuff here?" Even if no one seems to be paying them much attention, that seems like a bad idea, out in the open.
"Passing notes is better. I'll explain how you'll get them to us later, but first let me explain the code you need to use."
And that's how Junmyeon spends the next hour and a half making casual, non-suspicious conversation in between learning how to write coded messages and what to do after he writes them. Chanyeol tells him he can't take notes, so he concentrates as hard as he can. He's always been a good student, able to retain a lot of information, so he just has to hope his memory will work equally well for this.
He leaves the bar confused, not because he doesn't understand what he needs to but because it feels more like his night was spent making a new friend than committing himself to some kind of underground resistance. It doesn't seem like something big happened, but it most definitely did. He just hopes he won't come to regret it.
Junmyeon spends the next day at home, painstakingly encoding as much information as he can about the Siren camp he's visited. He writes about the guards, the layout, the inhabitants, the security, anything that seems like it could be important and some that probably isn't. Chanyeol told him that even seemingly insignificant details could turn out to be useful.
He's alone in his apartment and as far as he knows no one is spying on him, but his heart still pounds. Like he told Chanyeol, he's never done anything like this before. He was a kid who asked for permission to run away from home and here he is breaking a lot more than just his parents' rules. But he's committed, and so he tries his best to focus on the immediate task of writing out what he knows and not on what it means, for him and for the camp and everyone in it.
He drops his letter off the next day, just off a busy street full of people out shopping on a nice Sunday. He's nervous, but even if anyone finds the letter by some chance, they won't be able to read it. He has to trust that the members of this mysterious underground know what they're doing and the information will get where it needs to go.
He heads to the Siren camp right after, feeling strange but also a lot more relaxed than the last two weeks. By all rights he should be more worried and distracted now, but he feels a certain relief that comes with knowing his decision has been made, and some satisfaction with knowing he's actually done something to make a difference. It's easier not to dwell on it now.
"Did you make up your mind about that thing you were being all secretive about last week?" Jongdae asks him at lunch. Baekhyun, who always has to know all the gossip, immediately perks up, wanting to hear what he missed.
"I did," Junmyeon says with a grin. "Thanks for your advice."
"It was good, wasn't it?" Jongdae jokes, then yelps as Kyungsoo does something to him under the table.
"Do we get to find out what it is, if you've figured it out?" Baekhyun asks.
"No." Junmyeon ignores the pouts he gets in response from both Baekhyun and Jongdae. "Maybe someday." It would probably be best if an escape turns out to be unnecessary and they never have to find out what he's doing, but there's no telling what the future will bring.
"He doesn't trust us." Jongdae turns on the melodrama, sticking out his lower lip and rubbing at one eye with a fist like he's crying. For just a second, Junmyeon misses the days when Jongdae didn't like him.
"And here I thought we were friends," Baekhyun joins in, comically, exaggeratedly sad.
"Oh, shut up," Taeyeon says, breaking off her conversation further down the table to hush them. Baekhyun sticks his tongue out at her and Jongdae flashes his most charming smile, but she just pointedly turns around and goes back to her previous conversation, unaffected.
"At least you tolerate us a lot more than some people," Jongdae says, grinning.
"Yes, well, it's not so hard for a few hours a week," Junmyeon teases.
"Ouch." Baekhyun mimes a stab to the heart and Jongdae smacks his arm, but they don't even try to hide their amusement.
Junmyeon looks across the table at Baekhyun and Kyungsoo (who's smiling too, small but unguarded), and at Jongdae leaning against him as he laughs, and he feels good. As scary as all of this is, as much as he's afraid of where it'll lead, he knows he's made the right decision getting involved. That these guys who've been through so much more than he can imagine are still smiling like this is remarkable. It has to be right to do what he can to help them keep smiling.
He receives a reply to his first letter asking for more details, and another and another, and by his fourth time dropping off a message, he almost feels comfortable with it. It's a bit of a thrill, even, feeling like he's some kind of super spy giving and getting orders instead of just a university student passing information about the physical condition of the Siren camp residents and guards.
Some two months after his first information drop, Junmyeon is leaving the volunteer office when someone calls after him, "Excuse me, sir, I think you dropped this."
He turns to find Chanyeol holding an envelope. It's not Junmyeon's and he very nearly says so before he thinks, Oh, duh. Some super spy he is. He accepts the envelope with a thank you and tucks it safely in his pocket. Chanyeol has never interacted with him here before, so if he's doing it now, whatever he's handing over is probably important.
Junmyeon has to go to class from there, and it's only that night when he gets home that he can finally find out what's in the envelope. It's only a single piece of paper, and he's surprised to see that there's very little written on it. It's time, it says. Will you help us? It would mean a lot.
As cryptic as it is, it's obvious what it means. He knows they've been planning escape, probably since long before Junmyeon got involved, and either they're ready or something is forcing them to move forward regardless. It was always the end game, even if Junmyeon didn't expect it to come so soon.
But too soon or not, it's here and he has to decide if he wants to be a part of it. Writing information down is easy, relatively low risk. Being directly, actively involved in helping Sirens escape is a whole different story, and Junmyeon doesn't know if he has the nerve for it. If they get caught, there will be serious consequences. This would be breaking the law, not just his volunteer contract.
On the other hand, the note makes it sound like his help could be important, like it would make a difference. If he's too scared to participate and they try and fail, that'll be a lot to live with. They're not likely to get a second chance, and staying in the camp could mean death or worse for everyone there. Maybe if they were strangers, he could put his safety above theirs, but they're not. He cares too much to sit back and watch.
When it comes down to it, he realizes, he made his decision as soon as he agreed to give information, or as soon as he got involved at all. Knowing that there's a chance for the Sirens to get free and that he can help that happen, he has to do it, however much it scares him. He's in too deep for anything else.
The next morning, he leaves a note with the same procedure he's been using. All it says is, Yes.
He meets Chanyeol for a riverside walk to hear his part of the plan. It's cold enough at night that there aren't many people out, and Junmyeon tugs his hat lower and tries his best to focus. There'll be nothing written down, so he has to remember. There's no room for mistakes.
"Are you up for this?" Chanyeol asks after a while. "You're not going to panic and screw things up?"
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Junmyeon says dryly, a little hurt even though it's a valid question.
"Nothing personal," Chanyeol quickly assures him. "But you're still really new to this. I was so nervous at the beginning, and I wasn't doing anything nearly this big."
"I can do it," Junmyeon says stubbornly. "This is too important to screw up. I know that." Chanyeol accepts that with a nod, so Junmyeon asks, "Are you going to be there?"
"I'm strictly behind the scenes this time," Chanyeol tells him.
Junmyeon knows better than to ask for details. He knows better than to ask his next question too, but he does anyway. "Is it...how big is this? Is it just this one location or all over?"
Chanyeol looks at him with that goofy, vacant expression that tells Junmyeon he's not getting any answer out of him even before he speaks. "As far as you're concerned, it's exactly as big as what I just told you. Nothing else matters."
It's about what he expected to hear, and it's probably for the best. He's got enough to worry about playing his part without thinking about what's going on in the other camps around the country. He'll find out soon enough.
The night before the escape plan goes into action, Junmyeon is so nervous he can't sleep, and the more he tells himself he needs to sleep if he wants to be alert enough, the harder it is to actually sleep. His mind drifts, running over what he needs to do again and again, and thinking about all the ways it could go wrong, wondering about the aftermath and if tomorrow will be the last day he sees anyone from the camp. It seems likely, either because they'll be off to a safe place he'll never learn about or because he won't be allowed to go there again. It's for the best, but it makes him sad too. He didn't expect it going in, but it feels like he actually made friends there.
He finally manages to drift off a little before sunrise, and he wakes up tired but determined. He's never been involved in anything nearly this important or this risky, and he never thought he would be, but he's going to do it right. He has to, for his own sake and that of the Sirens and everyone else involved.
He drives to the camp the way he always does, the route familiar by now even though the scenery has changed with the passing seasons. He parks his car in his usual spot and locks the door as usual but unlocks the trunk. There's nothing obviously suspicious in it, just a laptop inside a case. He leaves it there in the slightly-ajar trunk and heads inside.
The guards at the gate know him well by now. They barely look up to make sure it's him before contacting the warden, who can check the security camera and buzz him through. It's strange, that it's so easy for him to get in and out when it'll be so hard for the Sirens. He supposes that's why his involvement is important: even if security here doesn't seem all that serious for him, not just anyone could get in.
The worst part is the waiting. The plan is to break out at the end of lunchtime, giving Junmyeon a chance to spread the word to all the Sirens and his unknown accomplices time to get the outside door open. To keep anyone from being suspicious, he has to act normal until then. It's only an hour and a half, but that's more than enough time for him to get very worked up.
He sits in the common room and tries to keep the worry off his face as he watches the Sirens. Some are fighting with the TV that's once again stopped working. Others are reading on couches or chairs, or talking in small groups. None of them have any idea what's coming, that this might be their last day in this room and this camp that they've spent so many years in.
Closer to Junmyeon, Ryeowook and Baekhyun are telling some story that he's completely lost track of. Whatever it is, they find it very funny, and so do Kyungsoo and Jongdae and everyone else who's listening. It makes it harder, in a way, seeing them looking happy, because no matter what happens, this escape will throw their lives into disorder. It would be easier, if not necessarily better, if everything could stay the same.
And selfishly, a part of him wishes it would, not because he wants the Sirens to be stuck in this camp forever but because he doesn't want to say goodbye. Jongdae turns to share a smile with him over whatever the hell it is they're laughing about (which Junmyeon is only pretending to pay any attention to), and no matter how much he tells himself it's for the best that Jongdae and the others will be going free, the thought that he'll never see that smile again after today settles like a heavy weight in his chest.
He's relieved when a guard stops by the room and puts him and a few others to work carrying boxes of supplies so there's something to distract him from thinking about what's coming and give him an excuse not to talk much. It doesn't matter how he feels about it; this is escape needs to happen, and it's going to happen soon.
At last, lunch time arrives and he heads to the dining hall, trying to remember to breathe. It's exactly noon and they're supposed to be at the gate at 12:20. According to the schedule Chanyeol gave him, he's supposed to tell the Sirens only ten minutes before to avoid causing a stir that will get noticed and ruin everything before they even get started. It's cutting it close, but he has to hope that it's enough.
Junmyeon's just about to walk into the dining hall when a guard calls his name. His heart tries to pound its way out of his chest, but he manages (he hopes) to keep a straight face as he asks, "Yes?"
"Can you take a tray down to solitary? You might have to put it together since we weren't expecting to have anyone in there at lunch today."
"What happened?" Junmyeon asks worriedly. This is exactly the kind of wrinkle that could ruin everything.
"The usual," the guard says with a laugh, like it's nothing, like this isn't a potential disaster that Junmyeon's not prepared to deal with. "I don't know why that kid can't seem to stop humming when he knows what'll happen if he does."
Oh no, Junmyeon thinks. Of course it would be Jongdae, because no one else has been in solitary the entire time he's been coming here, but why today, why now? There's no time for this.
"Okay?" the guard asks impatiently. "You'll do it?"
"Of course," Junmyeon says, flashing what he hopes is a convincing smile even though he's panicking on the inside. "No problem."
The guard moves away and Junmyeon checks his watch. 12:02. What is he supposed to do? He needs to go into the dining hall and be ready to spread the word, but there's a risk the guards will notice if he's not doing what he's supposed to. And more than that, there's Jongdae, locked up in solitary. The expedient thing to do would be to write him off as a necessary loss, to put the lives of the other forty-two residents above one, but when the one is Jongdae, his friend, one of the main reasons why he's even involved in this at all, that's a lot harder to do. He's no battle commander, ready to make those kinds of ruthless decisions.
He walks into the dining hall and spots Baekhyun and Kyungsoo and the others sitting in their usual place, but sure enough, no Jongdae. Baekhyun waves him over and Junmyeon walks over to them, struggling to calm down enough to think clearly. It's 12:04. There's no time for indecision. "Did you hear Jongdae got himself thrown in solitary again?" Baekhyun asks, laughing, as Junmyeon sits down even though he hasn't gotten any food. "That guy..."
Junmyeon doesn't laugh, doesn't even smile, just finds himself saying, "I need you to listen to me."
Baekhyun's brow furrows, and everyone else within hearing range looks over in confusion at his serious, urgent tone. "What's wrong?" Baekhyun asks.
"We don't have a lot of time," Junmyeon says, trying to keep his voice even. There's one guard in the room, but he's spacing out in the corner, clearly not feeling the need to pay attention when there's never been any trouble before. "There's..." He breaks off, takes a deep breath. "Just pretend I'm talking to you about something normal, okay? There's a plan to get you out of here, and it's going to happen in..." He checks his watch again. "In fifteen minutes. I need you to help spread the word without any guards noticing that you all need to go to the main gate at 12:20."
"Wait, what do you mean get us out of here?" Shock is written all over Baekhyun's face, but then he catches himself and pastes a more neutral expression over it.
"Exactly what it sounds like." There's no time,, a voice in the back of Junmyeon's head keeps repeating, frantic. There's no time for this. "I'm going to, I mean, with a lot of help from the outside, we're going to get all of you out of here. You just need to get to the gate on time."
"What's the point? The warden's the only one who can open the gate," Taeyeon points out, "and you know we can't make him do it."
"You won't have to," Junmyeon responds, "if everything goes how it's supposed to. There are people taking care of it." He really hopes they are, anyway. "But you need to be there, ready to go."
"But why would we run?" Kyungsoo's voice is soft, but his question cuts right to the point. "It's not great here, but there's nothing good waiting for us out there, and if we get caught..."
"He's right," Ryeowook agrees. "We're safe here, and we won't be out there."
"You're not." Junmyeon struggles to keep the impatience out of his voice. The minutes are ticking down and there are still so many people to tell, and Jongdae is still in solitary, out of reach. "You're not safe here. The government is planning to start doing experiments on Sirens, and maybe worse. I don't know the details, but it's going to get bad if you don't get out."
"How do you know?" Baekhyun asks flatly. "Why should we believe you?"
"Have I given you any reason to doubt me? Please, there's no time. Come or don't, but you have to decide now," Junmyeon pleads. He looks around at the now-familiar faces and sees the doubt and uncertainty. He can't fault them for it. They may not be happy here, but they're comfortable, and this will change everything. "I know it's a lot to ask of you to take this risk, but I wouldn't do it if I didn't think it was necessary. You have to trust me."
There's a moment of silence that seems to stretch out forever, but in the end it's Kyungsoo who says, "Let's do it. If we wait until we know for sure, it'll be too late, right?"
Junmyeon doesn't wait for the rest to agree, just jumps in to say, "Tell as many people as you can, whoever you can trust, and get to the gate at 12:20. If the others did their jobs, it should be open. There's a clearing in the mountains about two kilometers northeast of the camp. If you go there, help should be waiting."
"And what are you going to do?" Baekhyun asks, confused.
"I'm going to take lunch to solitary," Junmyeon says, like it's nothing, like he's not utterly terrified.
"Shit, Jongdae." Baekhyun's eyes go wide as he remembers. "What are you going to do?"
And therein lies the problem, that Junmyeon has no plan for that. It's 12:08 and he doesn't know how to open the cell door in solitary to get Jongdae out. It's only the gate to the outside that requires the warden's code, as far as he knows, but he's never seen anyone open the doors on the solitary cells. The only thing he can think of is that he'll have to convince a guard to either open the door or tell him what to do, and he doesn't have a clue how to do that.
The Sirens are still looking at him expectantly, so he says, "I'll figure something out. Just get to the gate, and...don't wait for us." It's a scary thing to say, because Junmyeon being a martyr to the cause was definitely not in the plan, but there's no time to think too hard about that. It's now or never.
"Good luck," Baekhyun says as he gets up, and Junmyeon doesn't look back, just goes to the front of the room and hurriedly loads a tray with food. As he walks back out, he sees the Sirens he talked to at other tables, whispering urgently, and the guard still oblivious in the corner. He's done everything he can here, so he'll just have to hope that they'll get everyone on board in time and without getting caught.
He wants to run to solitary, but he can't do anything that'll arouse suspicion if he's seen, so he forces himself to walk at a normal pace even as the precious seconds tick by. It's not far, at least, and at 12:10 he unlocks the outside door and hurries down the stairs. Jongdae is awake, thankfully, so he doesn't have to worry about that. His mouth is moving, probably singing, the idiot. If only the cells weren't soundproof, he could make a guard open the door, but that would defeat the point of solitary, wouldn't it?
He stops singing and smiles widely when he sees Junmyeon, nothing at all like the first time they met, but there's no time to think about that. Junmyeon drops the tray without a care and Jongdae stares at him, his smile gone.
He mouths a question, but Junmyeon doesn't waste time trying to figure it out, mashing his finger into the button to open the slot in the door. There's a single camera trained on the cells, but it's behind him and it doesn't transmit sound, so he feels safe speaking freely. "I need to get you out of here," he says, talking quickly since the slot won't stay open long. "How?"
He pushes the button again to allow him to hear Jongdae ask, "What?"
"How does the door open?" Junmyeon gets out before the slot slams closed again.
Another push, and Jongdae says, "A code for that panel on your right. I don't know it."
Shit, Junmyeon thinks, though it's no surprise. "All the guards know?" he asks. Jongdae nods.
It's 12:12. He tries to think of a lie he could tell a guard to get the door open quickly but comes up empty, and even if he could think of something, it'll take time to track down and convince a guard, time he doesn't have.
Jongdae gestures for him to push the button again, and Junmyeon does since he's a at a loss for what else to do. "What's going on?" Jongdae asks.
"Escape," Junmyeon manages just before the slot closes.
Jongdae stares at him. Another jab to the button lets him ask, "What?" clearly shocked.
"There's no time to explain," Junmyeon manages, and pushes again to say, "Everyone's getting out, now."
Just before the slot closes again, Jongdae says, "Then go."
Now it's Junmyeon's turn to stare. The shock has faded from Jongdae's expression, replaced by a worrying determination. Junmyeon shakes his head vigorously, but Jongdae gives him a look that eloquently says, You're an idiot.
He knows it's true, knows that he should get out and help the others. There's nothing he can do here, and he's wasting precious time denying that, but he can't face the thought of leaving Jongdae here to suffer whatever the government has planned. He doesn't want to leave anyone, but someone he hardly knows, maybe even anyone but Jongdae, he might be able to. But sheer horror grips him at the thought of leaving Jongdae behind and he can't argue with that.
Jongdae is looking at him with an expression full of defiance and resignation, and a sort of plea in his eyes, and Junmyeon knows what he needs to do no matter how much he doesn't want to do it. Jongdae won't forgive him if the escape fails because of him. Go, Jongdae mouths, too clearly for him to pretend not to understand, and then, Please.
He's seconds from giving in when suddenly, the door opens. Junmyeon jumps a mile, then whirls around to see one of the guards standing in the doorway. "What's going on?" the man asks. "I saw you drop the tray on the security camera. Did he try something?"
He was so careful, but apparently not careful enough. If he were a better liar, better at thinking on his feet, maybe he'd be able to think of something to say to explain it away and get the guard to open the door, but he's only an ordinary university student playing at being a hero, so he panics.
He panics, and that's the only explanation he has for what happens next, which is that when he opens his mouth to make some excuse, any excuse at all, he starts to sing.
It makes a certain amount of sense. Everyone is afraid of singing these days, and the guards here, for all that they claim their charges are harmless, have more reason than most for fear. Maybe the guard will be startled enough by the sound of singing to hesitate and Junmyeon will be able to physically stop him somehow. He starts to move forward with the intention of doing that, even though the guard is a lot bigger than him, and he's right in front of the guard before he realizes something very strange: the other man hasn't moved an inch since Junmyeon started singing.
He goes silent, shocked, as the significance of that sinks in. The guard stirs and barely starts to reach for the radio at his belt before another voice starts to sing. It's a male voice, stronger and a lot more sure than Junmyeon's, and when he looks up he sees Kyungsoo standing behind the guard. He gestures for Junmyeon to move aside, which he does so quickly that he's not sure if Kyungsoo is controlling him or if he just knows there's no time to waste.
What he is sure of is that Kyungsoo is controlling the guard, who moves mindlessly toward the cells, staring straight ahead. He goes right to the number pad and punches in a code, then pushes the top button, and just like that, the door springs open.
"What the hell—?" Jongdae asks as he gets to his feet immediately and hurries out into the room, but he breaks off when the guard suddenly slumps to the floor.
Kyungsoo stops singing a second later, and Junmyeon stares at him. "Did you...?" he asks, looking over at the guard and then back at Kyungsoo. For all that he was wary of Kyungsoo at first, he can't believe he'd actually hurt anyone.
"I only told him to go to sleep," Kyungsoo assures him. Now that he's stopped singing, he looks a little shaken after intentionally using his power for what's most likely the first time. His gaze lingers on the unconscious guard for a moment longer before he snaps out of it and says, "Let's get out of here before he wakes up."
Junmyeon checks his watch. It's 12:17. "We have to hurry," he says, and immediately takes off running.
As they emerge from the solitary building, a loud noise suddenly starts blaring continuously. The alarm, Junmyeon realizes. It's not surprising by now that the guards have realized something's going on, but it adds an even greater sense of urgency. He picks up his pace, running full out and hoping the other two can keep up.
There's a lot of open space leading up to the main gate, so he can see the crowd of people gathered around it before they get there. He doesn't waste time looking at his watch again, but he knows it must be almost time. What will they do if the gate isn't open? The Sirens are here because they trusted him, and if it goes wrong...
When he gets closer, he realizes it's not the gate that's the problem but a group of guards blocking the way. There's only five of them, but they have guns drawn, looking genuinely threatening for the first time in Junmyeon's experience. Even with guns, it's five of them against a mob, and Junmyeon's afraid of what will happen if it comes to a fight. He doesn't want blood on anyone's hands.
But why should it come to a physical fight when the Sirens have a much greater weapon than their bodies? He can't tell who starts it, but one voice rises in song, and almost immediately others join, until the chorus rings out over the camp. Even if the guards have earplugs in, even with the blaring of the alarm, they have to be able to hear that. Junmyeon realizes with a start that they're singing the national anthem, the song that all children sing for their Siren tests. How long has it been since he heard it like this, as it should be, so many voices joined together?
He doesn't have time to dwell on that because the guards have dropped their guns and are moving aside. The power of the Sirens' voices must be focused on the guards because Junmyeon doesn't feel anything as he pushes his way to the front of the group, Kyungsoo and Jongdae following, until he finds himself in front of the gate.
Baekhyun is up there and he abruptly stops singing to say, "There you are!" He looks incredibly relieved even though they're not out of danger yet.
He opens his mouth to say something else, but Junmyeon cuts in, "Let's go." There's no time to waste. He holds his breath and reaches up to open the gate...and lets it out in a huge sigh of relief as it falls open and stays that way. "Follow me," he calls, and then heads toward where their escort is hopefully waiting.
The singing fades out as they slip through the gate two or three at a time and start to run. Everything seems to be going smoothly at last, but then Junmyeon hears a commotion behind them.
He stops so abruptly that Jongdae almost runs into him, both of them turning around to see movement by the gate. Someone is pushing through the Sirens still by the gate, and though a few voices rise in song again, it doesn't seem to have any effect. It must be the warden, Junmyeon realizes. Their voices are useless against the deaf man.
Before Junmyeon can decide what to do, the warden pushes into the guard booth next to the gate, and too quickly, the gate slams closed with at least fifteen Sirens on the wrong side.
Junmyeon stares, horrified. Most of the others are still running, even without him leading them in the right direction, and he's torn between turning back and trying to help or doing his best to save everyone who's made it out. Neither choice is a good one, and he freezes until Jongdae tugs his arm. "We have to go," he says, voice heavy with sadness but firm. "We can't get that gate open from out here. The only thing we can do is get away and try to come back for them."
Junmyeon knows that's not likely to happen, and he suspects Jongdae does too, but he nods his agreement. What else can he do? They start to run again, trying to catch up to the others, but most are already disappearing into the tree line and Junmyeon's afraid he'll lose them. Kyungsoo is no longer near them, and he doesn't see Baekhyun and the others who were near the front anywhere. They're moving in more or less the right direction, but will they be able to find the meeting spot on their own?
It's like he can feel success slipping through his fingers. Over a third of the Siren population has been left behind in the camp, and the others are scattering, probably too scared to think about where they're going. The warden is sure to call in reinforcements, and they need to get away from the camp quickly if they want to avoid recapture. It may not be his plan, but he still feels responsible. The Sirens went along with it because they trusted him. He can't let this go any more wrong.
It's eerily quiet once they get into the trees, even the loud alarm either turned off or too far away to hear. Junmyeon starts to despair of finding anyone at all when they suddenly spot two figures in the distance. "Hey!" Jongdae yells, even if it may not be the best idea, and they stop and turn around.
"Where the hell did you go?" comes the yelled response, and Junmyeon laughs with relief as he realizes it's Baekhyun, and Taeyeon with him.
They don't waste time on a reunion, hurrying toward their destination. They pick up Kyuhyun a few minutes later, and then Soojung with her sister Sooyeon and another girl Junmyeon barely knows who the others greet as Sunyoung. Only seven, Junmyeon thinks; where is everyone?
He's also starting to worry that they'll never find the clearing where he's supposed to meet his unknown collaborators, but then at last there's a break in the trees and he sees four people standing in the clearing. He recognizes Jinki and Kyungsoo, who gets a tight hug from Baekhyun (which he allows for a few seconds before responding with an elbow in the ribs).
The other two are unfamiliar, and they introduce themselves as Sehun and Jongin. They don't look nearly old enough to be involved in something like this, but they're here, and they have the laptop case from Junmyeon's trunk. "We'll wait a few more minutes and then we need to go," Jongin tells them. "We have a long way to go and we don't want to be here when the search party arrives."
Junmyeon looks around at their paltry group. Nine Sirens out of forty-three. Is this the best they can manage? It's not nothing, considering that he's never heard of a successful Siren escape before, but it's not enough, especially knowing what those left behind are likely to face.
He jumps when someone puts a hand on his back, and turns to see Jongdae. "Don't give up, hyung," he says, softening his grim expression with a small smile. "A lot of us got out, and even if not everyone finds their way here, they'll figure something out." It's not much comfort, but it makes Junmyeon smile, in the midst of everything, to have Jongdae who used to be so negative trying to cheer him up.
The remaining minutes tick by in silence until Sehun says, "That's it. We need to go." He doesn't look happy about it either, so Junmyeon bites back his objections. It's hard to leave with so few of the Sirens, but it would be much worse to wait too long and have them all get caught.
Sehun and Jongin lead them on a seemingly aimless path through the mountains, but they're walking with purpose so Junmyeon assumes they know where they're going. They walk mostly in silence, partly for safety, and partly, Junmyeon thinks, because they're all in shock. He is, and he's had time to mentally prepare for this. It must be even worse for the Sirens, who found out about the escape plan only minutes before it went into action.
They walk for the better part of an hour before finally emerging onto a dirt road with two vans parked on it. It doesn't seem like enough to transport over forty people, and a cynical part of Junmyeon wonders if they even really expected everyone to get out, but he pushes the thought aside. He doesn't know anything and it won't help to speculate. He just needs to focus on what's happening now, on getting safely away. Everything else can be dealt with later.
They split up, and Junmyeon finds himself in the back of Jongin's van with Baekhyun, Jongdae and Kyungsoo, with Kyuhyun riding shotgun. There are no seats in the back, just some cushions on the floor. Kyungsoo sits in the corner behind the driver's seat, his legs pulled up to his chest, and puts his head down on his arms, shutting out the world. Baekhyun frowns at him momentarily before sitting by himself near the back of the van.
Junmyeon takes the corner opposite Kyungsoo, and Jongdae comes over and sits next to him. It's some small comfort, as terrible as he feels about everyone who was left behind, that the people he cares most about made it out. He feels even more guilty for thinking that, as if the Sirens he doesn't know as well are less worthy of saving, but he can't help feeling it.
Almost like he knows what Junmyeon's thinking, Jongdae puts his head on his shoulder, leaning into him. "Thank you," he murmurs. "For coming to get me out. You're an idiot, but thank you." His voice catches, and Junmyeon wonders if he doesn't feel just as guilty for being safely out when others aren't. He puts an arm around Jongdae's back and doesn't try to respond, just lets them both take comfort in that.
No one else speaks for a while after that, even Baekhyun, the perpetual chatterbox, quiet as they drive along narrow mountain roads. The other van is nowhere to be seen, and when Junmyeon asks after a while, Jongin says they're taking a different route. "We're taking you to different places," he explains, "for safety."
They seem to be taking a roundabout route too. They stop briefly after an hour of driving for a bathroom break, during which Jongin makes a hushed phone call and the four Sirens try not to look like they haven't seen a fast-food restaurant in five years or more, and then continue for another two hours before finally stopping in front of a house in what Junmyeon thinks is the outskirts of Seoul.
"Get out here," Jongin tells them. "I'm going to take the van somewhere else."
"But..." Junmyeon protests uncertainly. He's never met Jongin before today and barely spoken to him, but Junmyeon's knowledge of the escape plan ended in that mountain clearing and he's been counting on Jongin to lead them since then.
"It's okay," Jongin tells him. "This is a safe house. There's a friend waiting for you. Someone you kind of know, actually."
That surprises Junmyeon. The only person involved in this underground resistance that he's met, aside from Sehun and Jongin today, is Chanyeol, and he said he wouldn't be involved this time. Could it be that someone else he knows is secretly involved? But before he can ask, Jongin is unlocking the doors, an obvious hint that it's time to get out. Baekhyun opens the back door and climbs out, so Junmyeon reluctantly follows.
The van pulls away as soon as they close the doors, but they're only left standing in the street for a moment before a door opens two houses down. "Hi! Glad you could make it," the man who steps out of it calls cheerfully.
Junmyeon exchanges glances with the Sirens, who look as confused as he feels. That's not exactly the kind of greeting he was expecting. But then, Chanyeol has taught him about hiding behind a smile, so he shouldn't be so surprised. He does his best to smile back as he asks, "Are you the friend we're supposed to meet?"
"That's me! Come in before you get cold." Junmyeon takes that as a hint that they should hurry inside, so he does that and the others follow his lead.
Once they're all inside the house, the man's face falls. "We knew getting everyone out would be asking a lot, but I'd hoped for better than this."
"I'm sorry," Junmyeon says, even though there's no indication that the man is blaming him.
"No, no," the man says hurriedly. "You did your part. Sometimes things just happen." He shakes his head a few more times, as if to emphasize the point. Then, "Anyway, come in and have a seat. You can rest for now."
They gather in the living room, Junmyeon sitting between Jongdae and Kyungsoo on the couch. They're still very quiet, but he supposes that's understandable. For all its issues, they were used to the camp after being there for so long. They're out of their element now, thrown back into a world they left as children.
"I guess I should introduce myself," the man says. "I'm Kim Minseok."
They all give their names, and it's only after he introduces himself that Junmyeon remembers something. "Jongin said I kind of know you," he tells Minseok, "unless there's someone else here. I don't remember meeting you."
That gets a little smile from Minseok. "You haven't met me, but we've talked. I sent you those e-mails and letters, and I sent Chanyeol to meet you."
"You?" Junmyeon asks, surprised. Minseok doesn't look nearly old enough to be telling Chanyeol what to do. Now that Junmyeon looks at him more closely, he looks like he could still be in high school.
"No offense, but aren't you, like, five?" Baekhyun asks. Junmyeon has to smile. Baekhyun has been uncharacteristically silent since they left the camp, so it's a relief to hear him sounding like his usual self. It makes it feel more like things are still okay, in spite of everything.
Minseok's smile turns rueful. "I get that a lot. I don't know about all of you, but I'm older than Junmyeon-ssi by a year."
It probably shouldn't surprise Junmyeon that Minseok knows his age, all things considered, so he settles for being surprised that Minseok is both older than he looks and younger than he'd expect someone in his position to be. "And you're Chanyeol's boss, or whatever you want to call it?" he asks skeptically.
Minseok shrugs. "I guess you could say that. I'm not very important either, but I'm as high up the chain as you're going to go for now."
"And just high up does this go?" Kyuhyun asks.
"That's not important," Minseok says. "I'm sure you can understand the need for secrecy." Then he laughs, a little awkward, and adds, "And to tell you the truth, I don't know either. It's safer that way."
He looks so cute and harmless as he laughs, but Junmyeon supposes that's an advantage. Who would suspect someone like Minseok of being involved in anti-government activities, much like Chanyeol with his dumb grins? Maybe that's part of why they wanted Junmyeon, because he doesn't look anything like a rebel.
"Can you at least tell us what's going to happen to us?" Kyuhyun presses. "It's great that you broke us out, but we won't be able to hide here forever, will we?"
"No," Minseok agrees, "you won't. That's why we're planning to get you out of the country."
"Out of the country?" Baekhyun echoes. "To where?"
"You'll find out later," Minseok says with an apologetic grimace. "But you'll be safe there." When Junmyeon looks at the Sirens, they don't look convinced, and he can't really blame them. Is there really any country in the world now where Sirens can be safe? And even if there is, how can they get there without getting caught?
Before any of them can say anything else, there's a sound through the wall, like something being dropped on the floor. It's not loud, but they all jump. Junmyeon looks to Minseok, ready to start panicking, but he not only doesn't look worried, he's shaking his head with a smile on his face. "I was going to wait to introduce you to our other guests," he says, "but I guess now's the time. Hang on."
He gets up and goes into the hallway. Junmyeon can't see him, but he hears a door open, and then Minseok says something in what he thinks might be Chinese. The answering "sorry" is in heavily-accented Korean. A few more words are exchanged, too quiet for Junmyeon to make out, and then there are footsteps and Minseok comes back into the room with two people trailing behind him.
The three of them settle on the other couch, and Junmyeon curiously looks them over. The one in the middle has his shoulders hunched and his eyes firmly fixed on the ground, too-long hair only partly concealing a pretty face. He looks young, but after Minseok, Junmyeon's not going to assume anything. The other one, who's looking back at them with a small but not unfriendly smile, has a more nondescript appearance, hair dyed a medium brown and an expression that doesn't say much of anything. Junmyeon wonders if it's affected to make him easily overlooked or if that's just him.
"This is Lu Han and Yixing," Minseok explains, gesturing to them in turn. "They came here from China. Lu Han understands some Korean but Yixing doesn't know much." He seems to be considering saying more, but then he just shrugs. "You can try to get to know them. You'll be spending some time together."
Yixing smiles a little wider even though he probably doesn't understand what Minseok's saying, but Lu Han doesn't react at all. Looking at the way he's curled in on himself and remembering what Minseok said in his e-mail about experiments in China, Junmyeon wonders what he's been through before coming here. Minseok hasn't said that either one of them is a Siren, but it's an easy enough conclusion to draw, given their presence here. It's harder to tell with Yixing; if he is a Siren too, it seems he's had an easier time of it.
Minseok quickly introduces the rest of them to Lu Han and Yixing before getting to his feet. "You guys can rest and get to know each other," he tells the room before he turns to Junmyeon. "Can I talk to you for a second?"
They go into a room that has only a bunk bed and a single chair. Minseok takes the chair, so Junmyeon sits on the bottom bunk. "I got a little information from Jongin and Sehun," he says once they're both seated, "but I'd like to get your report of the escape."
Junmyeon's been trying really hard not to think too much about what happened, and either he's good at denial or he's still kind of in shock because it's worked, but of course he can't keep that up forever. He nods, trying to get his thoughts together. "Things went mostly according to plan, but then the warden got to the gate as we were leaving, and he managed to get it locked again before everyone got out. There were fifteen, maybe twenty Sirens left inside, but we had to run."
Minseok nods, and he doesn't comment, but Junmyeon can see sympathy in his eyes that says he understands that it was both hard and necessary. "I don't really know what happened after that, but I guess people panicked and they scattered when they hit the trees. We couldn't find most of them, and then Jongin and Sehun said we couldn't wait. There are probably still a lot out there, if they haven't been captured."
"We're doing what we can about that," Minseok tells him. It's not much comfort, but it's good to know that they haven't given up on those left behind. "What about making it look like you were a hostage? Did you manage that?"
That had been the plan, to make Junmyeon look like an innocent victim so he could go back to his life in peace, but he threw that away without even thinking about it when he went to break Jongdae out. He frowns, which is answer enough for Minseok. "Tell me more about what happened. We might still be able to spin it to look like you got kidnapped, or like you were being controlled. Did anyone notice you explaining the plan?"
Junmyeon shakes his head. "The guard in the dining hall was practically sleeping on his feet. He didn't notice anything."
"And after that? Did anyone see any obvious signs that you were involved?"
Junmyeon hasn't said anything yet about getting Jongdae out of solitary, because that's what he wants to think about the least, but he can't avoid it any longer. "There was another problem with the plan, at the beginning. Jongdae got locked up in solitary at the last minute, so I told the Sirens about the escape a little early and then went to see if I could get him out."
"Out of solitary confinement?" Minseok asks, eyebrows jumping up. "How did you manage that?"
It's a good question, and one Junmyeon doesn't really have an answer for. He remembers singing and remembers the guard freezing in place and on some level he knows what that means, but he can't believe it. It's easier to question his memory than to accept that he, perfectly ordinary Kim Junmyeon who passed every Siren test he took without any trouble, is capable of that. "A guard saw me on the security camera and showed up to see what was going on," he says slowly, "and Kyungsoo came just in time to make him unlock the door for us."
It's not a lie, but it is a deliberate omission. If there was ever a place where he could safely admit the truth, it's in this house surrounded by confirmed Sirens and a man working to rescue them, but he just can't bring himself to do it.
"We could make that work, probably," Minseok says slowly, thoughtfully. "Claim that he controlled you and that's why you went to solitary and went along with the rest of the escape. We've got people who are good at those kinds of cover stories, so I'll talk to them and we'll figure something out."
Junmyeon should feel relieved at that, but he doesn't. What if the guard remembers the effect his singing had? He could find himself locked away in a Siren camp, maybe even the high security one. And even if the guard doesn't remember and his secret is safe, the thought of going back to his normal life like nothing has happened is hard to wrap his head around right now. He's gotten in even deeper than he thought he would, and especially with what he's learned about himself, normal doesn't seem like an option anymore.
There's silence as Junmyeon searches for the correct response to that, and Minseok makes an incongruously cute confused face. "You do want that?" he asks. "Getting you safely back to your life was the plan, but plans can change."
"I don't know," Junmyeon admits. That much he can say.
Minseok accepts that surprisingly easily. "You don't have a lot of time to decide," he says, "but some. I'll talk to people, see what options we can give you." With that, he stands up. "You've had a stressful day. Rest and eat something and you can worry about what comes next tomorrow."
Junmyeon nods and follows him back to the living room, but he doesn't really mean it. He's got more than enough to keep him worrying tonight.
Back in the living room, things have gotten a lot louder. Kyuhyun is off somewhere, but the other three Koreans are engaged in a lively conversation with Yixing that seems to consist mostly of hand gestures, sound effects and laughter. Lu Han is still sitting next to Yixing, but he looks like he's trying to disappear into the couch cushions.
Minseok and Junmyeon stop in the doorway to take in the scene, and Minseok laughs a little, quietly. "I didn't expect them to cheer up so quickly," he tells Junmyeon. "Lu Han's been here for three weeks already and he hasn't said a word he doesn't have to."
"They're like that," Junmyeon says. The humor may be a defense mechanism, but it seems to be a good one. Then, hesitant but too curious to resist, he asks, "Lu Han, is he...I mean, did he...?" It's hard to even know what to ask.
Minseok glances at Junmyeon before turning back to the others. "Like I told you, conditions are worse for Sirens in China. Lu Han escaped the worst of it, but from what I understand, he's had it rough. I haven't been able to get much out of either of them about it, but it seems like their escape went badly. The guard who was supposed to hand the Sirens over to Yixing was injured, and Lu Han's the only Siren who survived."
Suddenly, nine Sirens plus Junmyeon safely out doesn't sound so bad. It also drives home the point that there really is a need to help Sirens escape, to get them to a safe place, if such a thing really exists. "Will they be all right?" He watches Jongdae laugh so loud Kyungsoo shushes him, with an accompanying death glare, and he's not really talking about Lu Han and Yixing.
"We'll do everything we can to make sure they all are," Minseok says. Then, with a smile, "You too."
They split up into the rooms early that night, and Junmyeon's more than ready to sleep after the stress of the day and the sleepless night before, but he's coming back from the bathroom when he sees Kyungsoo standing by the living room door, watching him. He catches Junmyeon's eye and jerks his head to say, "Come here."
A feeling of dread settles over Junmyeon because there's only one thing Kyungsoo would want to talk to him about in secret. He'd been hoping that maybe Kyungsoo hadn't seen enough of what happened in solitary to understand, but it was always a flimsy hope at best.
"Minseok-ssi said you told him about the escape," Kyungsoo says after he's closed the door behind them, keeping his voice low.
"I did," Junmyeon says.
"Did you tell him everything?" Kyungsoo's gaze is piercing and Junmyeon knows there's no point in trying to lie.
"Almost," he admits, "but not that."
"None of it?"
"I told him what you did," Junmyeon says, realizing too late that maybe he shouldn't have. Minseok took it in stride, but that doesn't mean everyone he shares the information with will. But if it bothers Kyungsoo, he doesn't show it, so Junmyeon continues, "I left out what I did."
"Are you going to tell anyone?" Kyungsoo asks. Junmyeon bites his lip, not sure how to answer when he doesn't know himself, but he's spared answering when Kyungsoo continues, "Did you know?" Junmyeon shakes his head. "Huh." He can't read Kyungsoo's expression at all. "What's supposed to happen to you after this?"
"We were supposed to make it look like I was a hostage," Junmyeon tells him, "so I could claim I wasn't involved."
"And now?"
Junmyeon frowns, not knowing how Kyungsoo will take this. "Minseok said maybe they can claim you were controlling me."
"I see," Kyungsoo says, still impossible for Junmyeon to read, even though it's hard to believe that he doesn't care. "Do you think people will buy that? That guard?"
"I don't know." There's no guarantee it'll work, and he's not even sure at this point if he wants it to work. He doesn't want to get caught, but he doesn't know anymore if he wants to go back to his ordinary life either. He doesn't think he can pretend.
There's a long, unnerving silence in which Kyungsoo just looks at Junmyeon before finally he says, "You do what you want to do—what you can—but I can tell you this: you don't want to be locked up."
Junmyeon swallows hard as the words sink in. Kyungsoo is right. He's seen enough of life in a Siren community to know he doesn't want to live it. If the guard says that Junmyeon controlled him, he could get put in the high security camp with Sirens who have done much worse. Even if he doesn't, things are bound to be worse now that there's been a successful escape from at least one camp, to say nothing of the potential experiments. It's a big risk, sticking around when there's no guarantee of his safety.
But what's the alternative? He never planned to leave with the Sirens, to follow what will surely be a risky road to wherever it is they're going. He has a life waiting for him, with family and friends and university, a future he's worked hard to prepare for. It's hard to imagine picking up and leaving everyone and everything behind without so much as a chance to say goodbye, though it's no worse than what happened to every Siren who was whisked away the second they failed their test. At least he has a choice, even if it's a difficult one. It's more than can be said for most Sirens.
And that's the thing, isn't it? He's no longer an ordinary person who can, if he wants, ignore the difficulties Sirens face entirely. Maybe he hasn't been for a while. He's tried not to think about it, but he knows what it means, the way the guard reacted to his singing. He may not have been able to do as much as Kyungsoo, but he controlled someone with his voice, and that makes him a Siren, period. He doesn't understand it, but the facts are there, stark and undeniable.
"I'm going to bed," Kyungsoo says, but he doesn't move right away. Looking hesitant for the first time in this conversation, he adds, "I know you probably don't want to go if you don't have to, and if you want to stay, I hope you can, but it would be nice. To have you with us." Then, without giving Junmyeon time to respond, he turns his back and walks out.
In spite of everything, Junmyeon finds himself smiling. Baekhyun has been outwardly friendly from the beginning and he's gotten close to Jongdae with time, but he's never been quite sure what Kyungsoo thinks of him. It's a nice surprise to realize that he has made that much of a good impression after all.
He goes to bed in the room where Kyuhyun is already asleep, and as much as he has on his mind, he's worn out enough that he falls asleep immediately.
Junmyeon wakes up early in the morning, tense and too alert without knowing why. It takes him a moment to remember that he's not in his bed at home, safe and sound, and that explains the tension but does nothing to help it. The other bed is empty and he won't be falling back asleep, so he rolls out of bed.
His borrowed pyjamas aren't warm enough, so he pulls on his sweatshirt from the day before, even though it's dirty from trekking through the woods. It makes him wonder if he'll ever be able to go back to his apartment for a clean one, or even walk into a store and buy one. So much is uncertain right now. It's probably better not to think about it.
He goes out to find only Minseok and Kyuhyun in the kitchen, the doors to the other two bedrooms in use still closed. Kyuhyun nods at him, and Minseok says, "Morning," casual, like he hosts escaped fugitives and their accomplices all the time. "Want some coffee?"
"Uh, sure," Junmyeon says. He doesn't know what today will bring, but there's a good chance that it'll be the kind of day that requires coffee.
"Did you sleep okay?" Minseok asks as he pours the coffee.
"Well enough. You?" He accepts the coffee and stirs in some sugar.
"I'm going to need a lot more coffee," Minseok says dryly. Then, "Don't just stand there." Junmyeon is confused until he turns around to see Lu Han standing in the doorway. "You always get up for coffee," Minseok says with a laugh, standing to get another cup. "Have a seat."
Lu Han does, nodding a greeting without meeting anyone's eyes. When he reaches to take the cup from Minseok, the sleeve of his shirt rides up and Junmyeon sees something dark and unpleasant-looking covering his wrist and spreading onto the back of his hand. He remembers hearing rumors that all Chinese Sirens are marked with identifying tattoos, but that looks less like a tattoo and more like a burn. Is that what it took to get rid of the tattoo? He flinches at the thought.
They sit and drink their coffee in reasonably comfortable silence for a while, leaving Junmyeon time to think about what will come next. He doesn't know how long they'll be able to stay here like this, but he doubts it'll be long. The Sirens need to get away before they get caught, and if Junmyeon is going to try to go back to his life, it should happen soon. He likes to think his decisions through carefully, consider all the pros and cons, but there's no time for that now. He has to decide quickly, and that's more than a little bit scary.
The others trickle in one at a time, the last a sleep-eyed Baekhyun with his hair sticking up in all directions. They eat breakfast and even Baekhyun is quiet, all of them either lost in thought or too sleepy for conversation. Only when they've finished eating does Minseok say, "As far as we know, you're safe here for now, but we intend to get you out of the country as quickly as possible. It's not going to get any easier."
Junmyeon finds himself wondering again about the scale of this escape plan, whether it's only this camp or others around the country. The TV in the living room hasn't been turned on since they got here, and Junmyeon's phone is in his car, quite possibly never to be seen again. It's a strange feeling, being so cut off from the outside world. Is this what it's like for the Sirens in their isolated communities all the time?
"Where are we going to go?" asks Jongdae.
"I'm not going to tell you for now, but the first step will be to go to Busan. If everything goes well, we'll leave tonight."
"Tonight?" Junmyeon echoes, dismayed. He knew he wouldn't have a lot of time to figure out what he wants to do, but he didn't realize it would be so little.
Minseok flashes him a sympathetic grimace. "I know it's soon, but there's a long way to go, and right now there's a lot of chaos that we should take advantage of."
"Are we all going?" Baekhyun asks, looking over at Junmyeon. He looks confused. It seems Kyungsoo hasn't told the others about what he saw, or about the possibility of Junmyeon coming with them. Part of Junmyeon is relieved and part wishes he would so Junmyeon won't have to do it himself. "The others who escaped with us too?"
"They'll go a different way. It's safer to travel in small groups. Yixing will be coming only partway. And..." Minseok gives Kyuhyun a questioning look. Junmyeon doesn't understand why until Kyuhyun speaks up.
"I'm staying," he says.
Judging by the shocked reactions, no one but Minseok knew about this, and no one seems to understand. "Why?" Kyungsoo asks, the 'Are you crazy?' heavily implied.
"I want to do what I can here," Kyuhyun explains. "Too many people got left behind." Junmyeon winces at that, and he can see similar guilt on Jongdae, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo's faces. "Not to say that you shouldn't go. It's good for someone to get away. But I want to stay and help."
"The option is there for any of you, if you want," Minseok adds quickly, before anyone can respond, "but don't start feeling guilty. The whole point of this was to get you safely out of the country, and anyway, there's probably a lot you can do for us down the line." He's babbling a little, and he laughs awkwardly when he finishes. "So please don't tell me any of you want to stay. Hiding one person will be hard enough."
That gets a wry smile from Kyuhyun. Baekhyun grins and says, "Well, if you insist..."
Junmyeon only has a moment to feel relieved about that before Jongdae asks, "And what about Junmyeon-hyung? He doesn't need to run, does he?" He's not looking at Junmyeon as he says it, which is strange. Junmyeon would like to take a moment to figure out the small frown on his face, but he has bigger things to worry about.
Now Minseok turns to Junmyeon with a question in his eyes. He thinks he knows what his decision is, but he has to stop and take a deep breath, trying to find his courage, trying to be sure when he's not at all. "I'm going with you." He's relieved when his voice comes out steady. "That wasn't how it was supposed to go, but I think it's best now. I didn't do a good enough job hiding my involvement, so the guards probably know." The lie, or half lie, comes out smoothly. The only other person who knows it's not the whole truth is Kyungsoo, and his impassive face gives nothing away.
Minseok doesn't question it, even though he's only finding out now, just nods. "Okay, then. We leave at 5:00. Be ready."
"Wait, are you coming with us?" It's not until Baekhyun asks that Junmyeon registers that Minseok has been talking like he's leaving too. It makes sense for someone to help them along the way, but as far as Junmyeon knows, Minseok's work has been here until now. No one knows about his involvement, so unlike Junmyeon, he has no reason to run.
Minseok smiles. "Not all the way, but for now. I'll hand you off to someone else down the line, but I can't trust just anyone to get you out of the country."
They laugh, but Junmyeon has to admit he's relieved. Minseok may not look like much, but he's taken good care of them so far. With all the uncertainty involved, it'll be good to travel with someone they can trust.
Once the necessary decisions have been made, everything happens very quickly. Minseok already has a suitcase packed, and the rest of them will carry only small backpacks to hold a few essentials. Minseok will be leaving the country legally, but the rest of them will have to do it the hard way, whatever that means. They'll be getting forged passports down the line, Minseok tells them as he makes them each pose for pictures, but for now they'll have to travel in secret.
Junmyeon feels overwhelmed thinking about it, already questioning his decision if it means traveling under a fake identity with little more than the clothes on his back, but that's fear talking. What he told the others was true in spite of the omissions: this may not be a good choice or an easy one, but it's the best for him under the complicated circumstances. He has to believe that.
They have some downtime after they're showered and dressed in borrowed clothing and ready to go, and Junmyeon walks into the living room only to have Jongdae spring to his feet and come toward him. "What—?" he starts to ask, but then there are hands on his chest pushing him back out the door.
"Get it, Jongdae!" Baekhyun calls after them, but Jongdae doesn't smile or say something sarcastic back like he normally would.
"What's the matter?" Junmyeon asks when Jongdae stops pushing, out in the hallway.
"Come here," is all Jongdae says, pulling him somewhat more gently by the arm into the room he slept in. Only when they're sitting opposite each other on the beds does he ask, "What's this about you coming with us?"
So that's what this is about. It's not surprising that he'd ask, but he seems angry, which Junmyeon doesn't understand. Kyungsoo said it would be nice to have Junmyeon with them even if it would be better for him to not have to be. He would've expected Jongdae to feel the same, and he feels strangely hurt that he doesn't. "It's like I said," he explains. "There's a good chance people know I was part of the escape and if I try to go home like nothing happened, I'll end up in jail or in a Siren camp or worse. It's safer for me to leave with you."
"There's got to be a way to spin it," Jongdae insists. "Hell, we can control people's minds. How hard would it be to convince everyone you were being controlled? You don't need to leave everything behind and run away."
"I made my decision," Junmyeon says, irritated not because what Jongdae's saying is wrong but because it's right and he doesn't want to keep questioning the decision that was hard enough to make already. He pushes that down and tries for a joke. "What, you don't want me to come with you?"
"No, I—" Jongdae's hands clench into frustrated fists. "I don't understand. For us, this is the only choice. It doesn't have to be this way for you. You have a life here, a good one."
It wouldn't be so hard to explain it. Kyungsoo already knows and he didn't judge Junmyeon for not knowing he's a Siren or for not telling anyone now that he does know, and of course not for being one in the first place. Jongdae wouldn't hold it against him. But he still can't bring himself to tell the truth, not even to someone he trusts. It's too big for him to come to terms with on top of everything else that's happening.
"You don't have to like it," he says, trying to push aside the guilt he feels at keeping such a big secret, "but I've made up my mind. I'm not going to take the risk of staying."
Jongdae just looks at him for a long moment, something dark and unhappy in his eyes, before he says, voice tight, "Fine. I hope you don't regret it." He gets up and walks out, leaving Junmyeon alone with his guilt and fear.
Jongin comes by in a van with actual seats to drive them to the train station. Junmyeon sits with Kyungsoo and Lu Han in the middle, while Yixing gets stuck in the back between Jongdae and Baekhyun, who chatter like they're not scared at all (and like Jongdae has forgotten about arguing with Junmyeon earlier). Junmyeon suspects it's actually the opposite, but he doesn't comment. It's comforting, in a way, distracting him from thinking about what's going on. The rest of them are quiet. Kyungsoo dozes off, Minseok is busy with his phone, and Lu Han is as silent as ever, staring out the window.
They split into two groups to ride the train, which somehow results in Junmyeon with Yixing and Lu Han while Minseok gets to babysit the other three. Junmyeon feels awkward, unable to recall more than a few words of Mandarin. Do they even speak Mandarin? He knows precisely zero words of Cantonese. It feels weird to sit in silence, but he doesn't know what to do about it, and there's so much else on his mind.
"Sorry," Yixing says after some ten minutes of awkward silence, his accent heavy and difficult to understand. "No Korean."
"Sorry, only Korean," Junmyeon manages to say in Mandarin, or at least he thinks that's what he's saying.
Yixing laughs at that, but Junmyeon doesn't know if it's at his words or at his butchering of the language. He says something to Lu Han, who shakes his head. Another few words earn another shake of the head from Lu Han, but then he sighs and says, still without looking up, "He says to relax." Lu Han's accent is only marginally better than Yixing's, but he seems to know more words.
"I'm trying," Junmyeon says dryly.
Lu Han cocks his head like he's trying to process that before he relays it to Yixing, who smiles but doesn't say anything more.
"How did you learn Korean?" Junmyeon asks, careful to speak slowly and clearly. It's half to make conversation and half because he's curious. If education in Chinese Siren camps was anything like in the Korean equivalent, he doubts Korean classes were offered.
"We had some books," Lu Han tells his feet. "And I had a lot of time to study."
So things were about the same. "Why Korean?" he asks.
Lu Han shrugs. "That's what we had. And...I listened to kpop, a little, before."
Junmyeon imagines a younger, happier Lu Han singing along to Shinhwa without understanding the words. That makes him smile, but Lu Han can't see it, still looking down. "It's a good thing you did learn. It's useful now."
Lu Han makes a vague sound of agreement. Yixing says something to him, maybe asking for a translation, and Lu Han responds, incomprehensible to Junmyeon. His voice is still very soft, but he has a little more inflection in his native language. He doesn't sound as much like he's scared of letting words out.
There's a lot more Junmyeon would like to ask, curious about both of them, but between the language barrier and the fact that they're in public, it doesn't seem like a good idea. Maybe later, when they can talk in private and take their time figuring out what to say. In any case, Lu Han looks kind of freaked out about having a conversation this long, and Junmyeon doesn't want to push him. He seems more comfortable with Yixing, and even with Minseok, so maybe he'll warm up to the rest of them in time. For now, they settle into silence again.
Halfway through the train ride, Kyungsoo comes to sit with them. "I thought it'd be quieter with you," he explains, sliding into the empty seat next to Junmyeon.
Junmyeon laughs. "You're right about that." Yixing has been asleep for a while, and he and Lu Han haven't spoken since their earlier conversation. He's glad to have Kyungsoo here so he's not stuck with only his thoughts for company. "Have you been to Busan before?" he asks, mostly to have something to say. Kyungsoo looks nervous, which is understandable given that not only is he running from the law but he hasn't been out in public like this in years.
"Once," Kyungsoo says. "I don't really remember. It's been a while since..." Since he's been anywhere except the Siren camp.
"It's nice," Junmyeon says, not that it really matters since it sounds like they won't be staying there long.
"Hmm," Kyungsoo responds vaguely. He glances over at Lu Han, who is determinedly staring out the window but can't seem to find anything to say to him, so he settles in his seat, trying to relax and almost succeeding.
"Don't worry," Junmyeon says after a moment, even though Kyungsoo hasn't said anything and even though he's worried too. It's scary, facing the unknown like this, but he wants to believe everything will go well from here on. The hard part should be behind them. "We'll be okay."
"I know I'll be okay. I think you should be more worried about yourself, hyung," Kyungsoo says. His voice is so soft and even that it takes Junmyeon a moment to realize it's a joke.
He laughs once he gets it and digs his elbow into Kyungsoo's arm. "How about a little respect for your elders?" he chides, but he can't say he really minds.
They meet up with the others outside the train station in Busan. Baekhyun and Jongdae are quiet again, either tired of talking or, much more likely, too nervous now that they're moving on to the next stage, whatever it is. It's not hard to guess that they'll be leaving through the port, but how and to where is anyone's guess.
Sure enough, they head toward the port but don't quite make it there, stopping at a hotel nearby. "Are we staying here?" Junmyeon asks curiously. It seems strange to rush to Busan only to hang around overnight.
"Not for long," Minseok says without elaboration. He leads them up to the third floor and knocks on the door of room 305. After a moment, a young man answers the door. He looks at Minseok and then at the rest of them, then silently moves aside to let them in.
"This is Kibum," Minseok says when the door is closed. "He's going to help you get onto a ferry to Japan." So that's where they're going next. It's not a big surprise, given where they are, but Junmyeon doubts getting to their ultimate destination will be as easy as hopping on a ferry.
"So much for anonymity," Kibum grumbles at Minseok.
"You say that like your name is unusual," Minseok retorts, and thankfully Kibum laughs. "So here's the plan," Minseok continues. "Kibum works loading cargo, so we're going to sneak you in that way, inside individual cargo containers. It's not exactly first-class travel, but this is the fastest ferry there is, so you'll be fine. I hope none of you are claustrophobic."
"And if you are, suck it up," Baekhyun chimes in helpfully. If anyone does have a problem, they don't say anything after that.
"The ferry leaves in the morning, so we'll wait until the middle of the night and then go. We'll try to do it as last minute as possible to limit the time you have to be cooped up, but we can't wait too long, so just try to put up with it. We'll get to Fukuoka in the late morning and I can promise you no more cargo crates after that," Minseok finishes with an apologetic smile.
And that's how Junmyeon finds himself hiding in a moving storage container at some unfortunate hour of the morning wondering how on Earth he went from his safe, comfortable life to this. His heart is pounding, his mind racing through all the ways this could go wrong, but there's nothing to do now except stay quiet and hope for the best.
He can breathe easier once the container is in place, but only a little bit. In spite of the cold outside and the holes to allow him some fresh air, it's hot and stuffy in the enclosed space. It may not be a long trip, but boarding hasn't even started yet, so he can still look forward to quite a few hours stuck in here. Any amount of time seems like too long. He tries to remind himself that he signed up for this, so he has no choice but to deal with it. It doesn't help.
It's hard to believe that he's really leaving the country that he's spent his whole life in, and considering that he's sneaking out, he might never be able to come back. Will he ever see his family again, he wonders, or his friends or his apartment and everything he left in it? Will he ever be able to come back to Seoul and all its familiar sights?
It hurts to even think about that, and it's too scary to think about the danger of his current position, so he tries to think about something, anything else. He wonders how the others are handling this. Nobody admitted to being scared as they went into the containers, but it was written all over every one of their faces (except maybe Yixing's, which Junmyeon hasn't figured out how to read yet). Baekhyun, for all his bravado, looked downright green. Junmyeon hopes he's all right.
It's strange, he thinks, traveling with the three Sirens from the camp. They've laughed at him for being more innocent than them despite being older, but at the same time, he's experienced a lot more of the outside world than they have. It brings out his protective instincts, and that helps distract him from his own fear, of the journey they're on and the uncertain future that follows it. If he can worry about them, he doesn't have to focus on the many reasons to worry about himself.
Thinking about that reminds him of his last conversation with Jongdae, how upset he seemed about Junmyeon leaving the country with them. It's not like he was expecting celebration, but it bothers him to have Jongdae angry with him. He was a comfort during the initial escape, after they had to leave so many people behind. Junmyeon could use more of that comfort now, and he wants to give it back too. He doesn't want things to be complicated between them.
Junmyeon's thoughts continue to drift as the hours inside the storage container seem to drag on forever. They start to move eventually, and after a small eternity of rocking on the open seas, they stop again, but still he has to wait. Minseok said they had someone on the other side who would get them out, but he didn't give any indication of how long they'll have to wait before that happens, or even of where they'll be when it does.
After far too long for Junmyeon's taste, the container is lifted and carted shakily off the boat, presumably to dry land. Then it moves again, more steadily, like it's on a truck, and after a few minutes, they stop. There's no further movement, and Junmyeon holds his breath until a few minutes later, the lid finally, finally cracks open.
The relief he experiences when the lid comes off and he sees Kyungsoo's wide eyes looking down at him along with those of an unfamiliar man is like nothing he's felt before. At last, he can breathe properly, without the walls tight around him and the fear of capture making his chest even tighter. Fresh air has never tasted so good.
"Never again," Baekhyun whines miserably when they let him out next, and Junmyeon has to agree.
Next is Lu Han, who looks pale and shaken, and then Jongdae, who laughs and says, "Well, that was exciting," even though he's just as pale. The last one out is Yixing, who has miraculously fallen asleep. They all laugh at the sight, the kind of almost-hysterical laughter that comes with surviving a terrifying experience. Yixing wakes up and looks up at them in confusion for a few seconds before he realizes what happened and grins.
The man who lets them out doesn't give a name, but when he speaks after they're all safely out of the containers, it's in fluent Korean. "Put these on," he says, handing them coveralls like the ones he's wearing, probably a uniform. They quickly put them on over their clothes and then follow him out of the warehouse.
There are a few other workers in matching coveralls outside, caught up in their own tasks. Junmyeon eyes them worriedly, trying to breathe normally and not look as nervous as he feels. All it would take is one person asking questions for them to be in big trouble, but no one gives them a second glance.
The man leads them to another building and around the back to a bus stop and there's Minseok, sitting on the bench with his suitcase. He jumps up when he sees them, visibly relieved. "Good, good, you made it." Then to the man, "Thank you very much. Your contact will be in touch soon."
The man nods and turns to go, calling "Good luck" over his shoulder, and they're left alone.
"I'm glad you're okay," Minseok says. "Let's go." Just down the street is a small park, and they ditch the coveralls there, then move back to the bus stop to wait. "We're going to head into the city," Minseok explains. "We have a train to catch."
The day is sunny but cool, and without the extra layer of fabric, the wind cuts through Junmyeon's clothes. He's not the only one shivering, and even Minseok, who's the only one wearing a real jacket, has his arms crossed tightly. Lu Han keeps tugging down the sleeves of his sweatshirt, but that could be more about the mark on his wrist than the cold. Only Yixing doesn't seem bothered, his sweatshirt left half unzipped. "Couldn't you order us better weather for our exciting trip to Japan?" Baekhyun jokes.
Minseok smiles at that. "I'll see what I can do from now on."
Thankfully, the bus comes soon and they get on. None of them talk during the short ride to the train station, mostly looking out the windows. Junmyeon came to Japan once before, with his family, but he was so young that the memories are a blur. He can't even remember if they came to Fukuoka at all. He watches the buildings get taller as they approach the station and wonders if Minseok will tell them now where they're headed or if he's going to keep them in suspense. It's possible Japan is their final destination, but he has a feeling they're in for a longer haul. They wouldn't need passports if this was it.
The train station is busy and Junmyeon watches the way the four Sirens take in the hustle and bustle. Lu Han looks freaked out, standing close to Yixing. Kyungsoo's less obvious about it, but he seems almost as uncomfortable. Even Baekhyun, usually so comfortable with people, is tense, fidgeting with the straps of his backpack. It's only Jongdae who is looking around with wide, curious eyes at the people and the shops. Junmyeon can't help smiling at his childlike fascination, forgetting for a moment to be nervous.
They make their way to the ticket machines, where Minseok frowns at the sign showing fares. "I don't suppose any of you know Japanese?" he asks.
None of them do, but they eventually manage to buy seven one-way tickets to Osaka. "Is that where we're going?" Baekhyun asks. "Our destination?" He doesn't seem surprised when Minseok gives him a mysterious smile as an answer.
They buy food and drink, the younger three bickering about what to get until Junmyeon makes an executive decision and picks for all of them, then make their way to the platform. They don't bother splitting up for the ride this time, taking up a row and a half on the bullet train. Junmyeon sits by the window next to Baekhyun, with Minseok across the aisle and Kyungsoo and Jongdae both looking out the other window. Lu Han and Yixing sit behind him, talking quietly.
"My brother came to Japan once," Baekhyun comments as the train starts to move, looking past Junmyeon out the window. "When I was in middle school and he was in high school, a friend's family invited him to come on a trip with them. I was so jealous I wouldn't stop whining about it. I wasn't doing great in school then so my parents told me that if I got into the high school they wanted me to go to, we could take a trip to Japan. I took the entrance exam, but I never found out how I did..." He sounds wistful, his voice softer than Junmyeon has ever heard it, but then he laughs loudly. "It's probably good since I bet I failed."
"Well, here you are," Junmyeon says with a smile that he's glad to see Baekhyun return. "It just took a few extra years."
"And now I might just get to see the world!" Baekhyun declares. He's still smiling, but Junmyeon suspects it's false bravado. This is scary for all of them, and for good reason.
"Don't worry," he says. "I'm sure we'll be okay, wherever we end up."
"Who's worried?" Baekhyun says lightly, but his smile is a little different now, maybe grateful, and more sincere. "I just wish someone would tell us where we're going already."
He glares pointedly over at Minseok, who looks up from his phone, his face the picture of innocent confusion. "What?" he asks. Junmyeon honestly can't tell if he's messing with them or if he really wasn't paying attention. Considering what he does, Minseok is surprisingly out of it sometimes.
Either way, Baekhyun laughs. "Nevermind." Minseok shrugs and goes back to his phone, and Baekhyun turns to Junmyeon again, sharing an amused look. "Anyway," he says, "I guess we shouldn't..." He looks around, and Junmyeon gets the message. It's not so unlikely that someone on the train in Japan might understand Korean, so they need to watch what they say. They're hiding in plain sight now, and that only works if they don't call attention to themselves.
In spite of that, they end up talking for the better part of the two and a half hour ride, though if someone asked Junmyeon what about, he couldn't really answer. Baekhyun never seems to run out of things to say, even after so many years of living a life without much worth talking about. Maybe that's why he's so good at it, because someone had to keep things lively in the camp no matter how boring it was.
It's late afternoon when they get to Osaka, and Minseok pulls up something on his phone before leading them to a hotel. "Wait out here," he says. "The reservation's in my name and we'll have to sneak you in later." It's a big hotel, hopefully big enough that they won't notice a few extra guests going in and out.
They wait, browsing in a convenience store next door, until Minseok comes out ten minutes later without his suitcase. "Room 802," he tells them. "Here's the key. Go up and lock the door. I'll be back later."
"Where are you going?" Baekhyun asks.
Minseok looks over at Yixing. "We're going to go meet someone, and then Yixing's leaving us." He did mention that Yixing wouldn't be coming the whole way, but it's still a surprise that it's happening so soon. Judging by the others' expressions, only Lu Han knew it was coming. The rest of them haven't had much time to get attached, but it feels strange to lose one of their number already.
It would be bad to make a big deal about goodbyes in public, but Jongdae says, "Good luck, I guess."
Yixing says something to Lu Han who tells the rest of them, "He says...take care? Something like that. And maybe we'll meet again someday."
They say goodbye and then Minseok and Yixing leave. The rest of them go into the hotel. They split up to avoid drawing attention with a group of five, and Junmyeon and Lu Han go in first. He's worried that someone will notice they never checked in, but the man at the front desk just greets them politely and doesn't bother them as they make their way to the elevator, and they get to the room without any trouble. It's a double room, but a small one, not nearly enough for six people. He wonders how long they'll be here.
Five minutes later, the other three join them. "That was way more nerve-wracking than it should've been," Jongdae mutters as he flops onto one of the beds.
"But there's no reason anyone should be looking for us here, right?" Kyungsoo says.
"No, but they'd want to see our passports to check into a hotel and then we'd be in trouble," Junmyeon points out.
They make themselves as comfortable as they can on the beds and the two armchairs. There's not much they can do while they wait for Minseok to come back and tell them what's next.
"I wonder where Yixing's going," Baekhyun says. He looks over at Lu Han, who as usual isn't looking at him or anyone else, and asks, "Do you know?"
"He's going home," Lu Han says. "To China." There's sadness in his voice, as soft as it is. The rest of them won't be going home any time soon, or maybe ever.
"He can do that?" Jongdae asks. "Didn't you guys sneak out?"
"We don't think anyone knows he had anything to do with the escape. He doesn't have any known connection to Sirens. They'll make it look like he came to Japan legally," Lu Han explains, pausing occasionally to hunt for words. "Somehow. Then he can go back to China like he's coming back from vacation. If it works."
"That's good," Baekhyun says. "At least someone can go back." Junmyeon doesn't miss the glances that both Baekhyun and Jongdae shoot his way, but he doesn't let himself think about it.
"He didn't tell you anything else, did he? About where we're going?" Kyungsoo asks Lu Han, changing the subject. Junmyeon wonders if it's on purpose.
Lu Han shakes his head. He looks uncomfortable with the attention, more so now that he doesn't have Yixing to hide behind, and it can't be easy for him to keep up with the conversation in a language he has so little practice using. "I don't know if he knows."
"We'll find out sooner or later," Junmyeon says. "I guess it's probably safer if we don't know much, just in case one of us gets caught." He regrets saying that when he sees the fear on the others' faces. No one wants to think about the possibility of getting caught. "But I'm sure we won't be," he adds quickly.
"That would be more convincing if you didn't look scared," Baekhyun says dryly, which gets a laugh that eases the atmosphere a little.
Minseok comes back alone just before 7:00. "Please tell me you brought food," Baekhyun says by way of greeting.
Minseok looks startled at that, and then sheepish. "Uh, no, but I can go get something."
"Please." Jongdae pouts at him. "We're starving."
With a put-upon sigh, Minseok heads back downstairs and returns ten minutes later with prepared meals from the convenience store. They gather around the table between the beds to eat, and Junmyeon realizes only when he takes his first bite how hungry he is. "Did everything go well?" he asks Minseok as they eat.
"It looks like it," Minseok says. "I handed your pictures and info over to a friend and if all goes well, we'll get you passports soon and you'll be able to leave the country the legal way."
"So we are going somewhere else?" Jongdae asks.
"Yes," Minseok answers. "And no, I'm not going to tell you yet. Sorry."
"What else is new?" Baekhyun doesn't even sound annoyed. They weren't expecting anything else at this point.
They talk about the food for a little while, pointless small talk, until Jongdae suddenly says, "Can I ask you something?"
"Who?" Baekhyun asks.
"Not you," Jongdae shoots back without missing a beat. The rest of them laugh, but Jongdae stays serious. "You two." He gestures across the table at Junmyeon and Minseok.
"Okay," Junmyeon says warily. He wouldn't normally have a problem answering anything Jongdae might ask him, but after their last conversation, he has reason to worry that it'll be a question he's not ready for.
"Aren't you scared of us?" Jongdae asks point blank. Silence follows his question, so he adds, "It's great that you're for Siren rights and everything, but you know what we can do. Four of us together, especially. We could make you do anything. That really doesn't scare you at all?"
Junmyeon and Minseok exchange a glance, but Junmyeon can't read Minseok's expression. He doesn't really know what his answer is either. The possibility of being controlled is scary, sure, but he doesn't feel scared, not with these Sirens. "You're not scared of each other, are you?" he asks.
"We can't control each other," Baekhyun says like it's common knowledge, but it's the first time Junmyeon's heard about this.
"Oh," he says dumbly. Minseok looks less surprised, so it must be just him who didn't know. He wonders why it's not more widely known, and what other things about Sirens the general public doesn't get to hear about. "Well...even so, I'm not." If what Baekhyun says is true, he has nothing to fear in the first place, but he's not ready to reveal that yet. "I trust you guys."
"The way I figure," Minseok says thoughtfully, "I studied a bunch of martial arts, so maybe I could kick your ass if I wanted to, but I won't. And you could control me if you wanted to, but I don't think you will."
"But you barely know us," Kyungsoo points out.
"That's true," Minseok agrees, "but you seem like good guys. I'll trust you until you give me a reason not to." He smiles. "Don't make me regret it."
That seems to be good enough for Jongdae because the next thing he does is ask Minseok, "You really think you could kick our asses? You're so..."
"Tiny," Baekhyun supplies, as if he has any room to talk.
And that's how Minseok ends up beating them soundly at arm wrestling one after another until even Lu Han is laughing, their worries momentarily forgotten.
They spend the next day cooped up inside, which is no fun for any of them. Junmyeon's not used to having his movements restricted, and even for the Sirens who are more accustomed to it, being stuck in a single hotel room with six people is excessive. "At least we can watch TV here," Baekhyun comments, flipping through news and weird variety shows and soap operatic daytime dramas. Junmyeon would be interested to watch the news because he still doesn't know if there were escapes from other Siren camps in Korea or other countries, but Baekhyun flips past every news show so quickly it has to be intentional.
"I'm sorry," Minseok says. He and Lu Han have claimed the two chairs while the rest of them sit on the beds. "It's only until we get your passports. The police can ask to see them any time and even if they probably won't, that's a risk we can't take."
It wouldn't be so bad except that it leaves them with not much to do but think, and there's a lot to think about. Where they're going, whether they'll make it there safely, what will happen when they do. On top of that, Junmyeon is worried that Jongdae is still upset with him. They haven't spoken much since they left Seoul, and there's no chance to talk alone here.
Even if they did, Junmyeon doesn't know what he'd say. He feels like a coward for keeping the secret of what he learned during the escape, but it's still too hard to wrap his head around it. He keeps thinking of Minseok and himself as the normal ones and the other four as the Sirens, but even if he's not an escapee from a Siren camp, he's part of that group now. He wonders if he'll ever be able to believe it.
He distracts himself by talking to Minseok, who's been sitting with his laptop, half watching the TV show that Baekhyun, Jongdae and Kyungsoo are dying over despite not understanding any Japanese. "I've been wondering, how'd you get into all of this? You're not much older than me, but you're all...important."
Minseok laughs at that. "I'm not really. It's only because I'm a little older and I've been involved for a few years that I'm above people like Chanyeol. But I'm just one of many."
Junmyeon nods. "Did you get a mysterious e-mail inviting you to join too?"
That makes Minseok smile. "No, I just send those. I got recruited by a professor at my university. I didn't know what I was getting into, but I really looked up to him so I said yes easily."
"Do you ever regret it?" Junmyeon asks the question without thinking and then he feels guilty, looking around to see if anyone else heard. Lu Han has been sitting quietly, not reacting but probably listening to them, but the other three are still distracted by the TV.
Minseok looks at him thoughtfully, not judging. "It's not easy, sometimes," he says. "Even though I've managed to keep my life separate, I have to lie to almost everyone I know and worry about what'll happen if I get caught. But it's worth it, right?" He smiles over at Lu Han and then nods in the direction of the others. "And somebody's got to do it." Then, more quietly, he asks, "Do you regret it? Getting involved, or deciding to run."
It's a difficult question. Junmyeon still feels he made the right choice, both in helping with the escape and in deciding not to risk staying in Korea, but it's impossible not to regret the loss of his old life. "It could have turned out better," he says, trying to laugh it off. Then, more soberly, "But we got some people out. That makes it worth it." He's sacrificed a lot for the cause, much more than he thought he could when he replied to Minseok's e-mail, but there are three Sirens here and laughing freely, safe because of him, and more in Korea or who knows where. That has to count for something.
Minseok nods but doesn't say anything. Junmyeon doesn't mind; he doesn't need platitudes.
He's surprised when Lu Han suddenly speaks up. "You didn't have to," he says. "Get involved. Both of you. It's easy, if you're not like us. You can forget. Most people do. That's why...bad things happen. So..." He trails off awkwardly, looking like he wishes he hadn't started talking. "Thank you. I mean, um... Yeah. Thanks."
Junmyeon restrains himself to a smile, but Minseok chuckles a little, softly, and pats Lu Han on the shoulder. Junmyeon's surprised to see he doesn't flinch away. "You're welcome," Minseok says.
"Hey, what are you guys whispering about over there?" Baekhyun asks as the others finally notice them.
"Adult things," Junmyeon jokes. "You kids don't need to worry about it." He's pleased when even Jongdae laughs at that. He can't be too mad, in that case.
"Whatever, old man," Baekhyun tosses back. "Quit being so serious and come watch TV with us. This next show has idols getting attacked by wild animals."
"If you insist," Junmyeon says, pushing aside his serious thoughts and turning back to the TV.
The next morning, Minseok brings them food and then goes out, promising to come back with passports for them so they can safely go out in public. "And then I'll explain to you what's happening next," he tells them, which is a relief but also more than a little bit scary.
Kyungsoo claims Minseok's laptop, though he doesn't seem to quite know what to do with it, either because he's not familiar with the newer technology or because he's not used to unfettered access to the internet. Thinking about having access to e-mail reminds Junmyeon that he hasn't been in contact with his family for days now. He wonders if they believe he's a criminal or an innocent victim, or if they even think he's dead. He wonders if and when he'll be able to contact them again, to say that he's safe and that he's sorry.
That's a painful train of thought to follow, so he pushes it aside as best he can. Kyungsoo seems to be avoiding the issue of what to do with the internet too; when Junmyeon looks over again, he's playing a card game. Junmyeon smiles a little at that before turning his attention to the others, hoping for some distraction.
He finds Jongdae and Baekhyun attempting to cajole a conversation out of Lu Han. Junmyeon would expect them to not want to think about the Siren camp now, but they seem curious to find out how similar Lu Han's experience was to theirs. "How old were you when you went in?" Baekhyun is asking.
Lu Han counts on his fingers to come up with the number in Korean. "Fourteen." He's a year older than Junmyeon, the same as Minseok, so that's a lot of years to spend locked away. Junmyeon wonders how much of Lu Han's behavior is because of that and how much is a result of more recent trauma.
"That would be..." Jongdae considers. "2004? Wow. Kyungsoo was the first out of us three and that wasn't until two years later."
Lu Han just nods at that, so Jongdae asks, "Were there a lot of you there?"
"I think, maybe...300 at the most? Before..." Lu Han flinches, and Junmyeon wonders if he should tell them to leave him alone, or cut in and change the subject.
"Before what?" Baekhyun asks. Jongdae kicks his leg, also aware that this is a sensitive subject, but he still looks curiously to Lu Han for an answer.
"People started to disappear," Lu Han says, very quiet. "About a year ago. Sometimes they came back. A lot of times they didn't. Not that many, but enough to notice."
Nobody knows what to say to that. "Were they...? I mean, do you know...?" Baekhyun frowns, curiosity warring with the tact he apparently does possess. "It's just that we heard they're planning to start experimenting on Sirens in Korea, but it's hard to believe..."
Lu Han goes tense like a cornered animal and Junmyeon opens his mouth to change the subject, but Lu Han speaks up before he can. "Yes. I mean, they were, in my camp. I'm sure." They're all wondering it, whether he knows from personal experience, but nobody's going to ask that, not when Lu Han looks freaked out enough as it is.
"Then I guess it really could happen." Baekhyun sounds shocked, like he didn't believe it until now. "It could've happened to us if we'd stayed."
"We're out," Kyungsoo says sharply, and Junmyeon turns to look at him. It seems he's been listening too. "Let's not think about what could've happened."
"Not everyone is out," Jongdae retorts, and now Kyungsoo flinches. None of them want to be reminded of how many people they left behind.
"Look," Junmyeon cuts in, "this...whatever you want to call it, this movement that I got involved in, that Minseok and the others who helped us are part of, it's big. I don't know how big, but they've got people in politics, and obviously connections in China and I'm willing to bet around the world. They're not going to sit still and let this keep happening. And you know, maybe once we're safe, we'll be able to do something to help too.
"So Kyungsoo's right; let's not dwell on what happened or what could've happened. That won't help anyone. Let's just focus on staying safe and try to have some faith in the good people out there who want to make things better."
He feels a little embarrassed after that impassioned speech, but he doesn't want to take it back. It's true, and he thinks it's important to put it out there. He looks around at the others as they think about what he said, and for a long, awkward moment no one says anything, but then Baekhyun laughs. "And here I thought you weren't so innocent anymore," he teases.
"I'm not," Junmyeon grumbles good-naturedly, too relieved that the tense atmosphere has been broken to really mind. Innocent may not be the right word, but if he has more optimism left than the others, it's good to share it.
"You are," Kyungsoo says with a little smile, "but that's okay. We like you that way."
In the evening, Minseok returns to the hotel room with hands full of takeout bags and a tagalong. The guy towers over Minseok and looks a little dangerous with his huge hands and angry eyebrows, but if Minseok's bringing him here, he must be okay. "This is Kris," Minseok says once they've put the bags down.
"Hi," says Kris. "My Korean's not very good, so, uh, patience, please?" He gives them an awkward half-smile that immediately makes him look a lot less threatening.
"English?" Baekhyun asks in clumsy English.
"Yes," Kris says. "Or Chinese." Then, belatedly realizing he said that in English, he repeats it in the correct language. Lu Han brightens a little at that.
"Kris lives in Canada," Minseok explains. "He's going to help you get there."
"Canada?" Jongdae echoes, surprised. Junmyeon is too. It may be the safest option, but it's a long way to go. Will they be able to find a place for themselves in such a different country? Will they even be able to get there in the first place?
Baekhyun groans. "My English is terrible," he whines.
"Mine too," Minseok replies with a laugh, "which is why you're going with Kris. He'll help you out." That's a relief. Junmyeon has always done well in English class, but he doesn't know how that'll hold up to life in an English-speaking country.
"You're not coming?" It's Jongdae who asks the question, frowning, but nobody looks too happy about it. Junmyeon feels the same. They've only known Minseok for a few days, mysterious e-mails aside, but they were such an intense couple of days that it feels like longer, and they've all been relying on him a lot. He did tell them he wouldn't be coming the whole way, but it still seems too soon.
Minseok shakes his head. "I wouldn't be much use to you in Canada, and I've got things to take care of here and back in Korea. But I'll be in touch for official purposes, and if you want for unofficial purposes too."
He laughs a little, shyly, like he's not sure if that offer is wanted and is giving them the chance to laugh it off, but Baekhyun throws an arm around his shoulders and says, "Just wait, we're going to pester you so much you'll wish you left us locked up."
Over dinner, Minseok and Kris explain the plan in a confused mix of languages. Tomorrow, armed with forged passports claiming they entered Japan legally a week ago, they'll fly to Vancouver. If all goes well, they'll travel from there to an apartment outside of the city where they can hide for now.
"And after that?" Jongdae asks. The passports should get them out of Japan and into Canada, but they won't entitle them to stay forever. Even if they can safely hide away, going from forced isolation in one country to voluntary isolation in another isn't ideal.
"That depends on a lot of things," Minseok admits, apologetic, "but we have some connections in Canada who should be able to help you out once you're there so you won't have to stay in hiding indefinitely. Don't worry. We won't leave you hanging."
It's not terribly comforting, but Minseok and the mysterious people behind the curtain have taken good care of them so far. There's no reason to think they can't be trusted to keep them safe in Canada too.
Kris leaves after they eat, and Minseok pulls Junmyeon aside, even though there's no real privacy in this overcrowded room. "I'm just going to ask once more," he says in a low voice. "Are you really sure you want to go through with this?"
"Isn't it too late to change my mind?" Junmyeon asks. He thought he'd passed the point of no return and didn't have to think about it anymore. It would be simpler if he had.
"It would be difficult to backtrack now," Minseok says, "but not impossible. I wanted to give you one last chance, in case you regret your decision."
Junmyeon feels tense, overwhelmed, so he forces himself to take a deep breath in and out. He looks around, but the others are across the room and probably can't hear them. "There are...reasons," he says. "Why I think I should go." His voice comes out sounding strange, strained. He clears his throat, as if that'll help. "I don't want to. I don't think any of us do, but it's for the best."
Minseok's brow furrows. "Is there something I should know about?" he asks.
Junmyeon thinks about it for only a moment before he shakes his head. It won't make a difference if Minseok knows the truth or not at this point, and it's still too hard to say it. He's starting to wonder if he'll ever be able to.
To his relief, Minseok doesn't press. "Okay then," is all he says before leaving Junmyeon alone.
Once Minseok is gone, Junmyeon leans back against the wall, feeling shaken even though he has no reason to be afraid of Minseok finding out. He closes his eyes and takes another slow, deep breath, and when he opens them again, Jongdae is standing in front of him. "Are you okay?" he asks. "You don't look good."
"I'm fine." Junmyeon forces a smile.
It's obvious Jongdae doesn't believe him, and for a second it looks like he'll push, but instead, after a moment's hesitation, he says, "I'm sorry. About getting mad at you before. I just didn't want to see your life get ruined because you helped us." He looks sad and Junmyeon feels guilty again for lying even as he's relieved to hear that Jongdae isn't mad at him.
"It's not your fault," he says. "It was my decision to be part of this and my decision to leave."
"I know, but if you hadn't come to break me out of solitary, maybe you would have been able to get away with it." Suddenly, it makes sense why Jongdae would take Junmyeon joining them in leaving the country so badly. Junmyeon's been so busy wallowing in his own guilt about keeping secrets that he hadn't considered anyone else's.
"That was my decision too," he says gently. "You told me to go and I decided not to." He remembers Jongdae silently pleading with him, and how he almost did leave him there. The thought makes his chest feel tight and he wonders how he could have even considered it.
Jongdae sighs, the guilt still written all over his face, but he doesn't try to argue. "It's just...you were so innocent when you first came to the camp. Everyone commented on it, how we'd gotten used to being around jaded, bitter people and then you came in there with your smiles and wanting to help and it was like you'd grown up in a totally different world from us."
"I did," Junmyeon says.
"Yeah, you did. And at first, it kind of pissed me off because our lives looked that much worse by comparison, but then we talked more and it was...nice. It helped to see that even if we'd been screwed over by life, there were still good things and good people in the world. It was almost like hope, like...if there are still good people like you out there, maybe things can change."
"And they did," Junmyeon points out.
Jongdae smiles, but it's a small, sad smile. "I guess they did. Don't get me wrong, I'm really grateful that you helped us get out, especially if it's true that they were going to start experimenting on us, but I hate that you got caught up in this. I don't want to see life mess you up too. I really...I like you the way you are and I don't want you to get hurt."
Junmyeon doesn't know what to say to that, considering everything that's happened, but he flashes Jongdae a smile, a genuine one this time. "You don't have to worry about me," he says. "I'm tougher than I look." He's half joking, but it's the truth. If he was really so fragile and naïve, he never would have made it this far.
Jongdae doesn't laugh, but he smiles a little bigger, a little happier. "You really are."
They go shopping the next morning because Minseok says it looks suspicious if you board an international flight with no luggage, and also because it'll be colder where they're going. Junmyeon thinks sadly of his full closet back in Seoul, but the Sirens get childishly excited about trying on clothes, even Lu Han smiling faintly as Jongdae forces him into a gaudy leopard print jacket.
"Whose money are we spending?" Baekhyun asks only once they're in line to pay.
Minseok laughs at that. "Not mine, I can tell you. Don't worry about it."
They're hardly breaking the bank with some basics and a warm jacket each, plus cheap small suitcases, but the money has to come from somewhere. Junmyeon can't help wondering what'll happen when they get to Canada. He's not too worried that they'll be left to fend for themselves, but he doesn't know if they'll be able to work somehow or if they'll be dependent on whoever's bankrolling their escape for as long as they're there. He doesn't like the idea of living like that long term.
They go to lunch after, and Kris comes to meet them at the restaurant. "I'm going to say goodbye to you after this," Minseok tells them, "and then Kris will take you to the airport. There shouldn't be any problems, but you'll have me and a couple of contacts in Japan standing by if there are, so don't worry."
"Don't worry, he says," Jongdae comments dryly. "Why would we ever worry when we're..." He looks around at the other tables before finishing, "You know."
"Hey, compared to our trip from Busan, this is nothing, right?" Baekhyun says with a laugh.
"We can laugh about it after." Jongdae's trying to hide it, but he looks really nervous, and not, Junmyeon thinks, without very good reason. Sneaking into Japan was scary. Walking out under assumed identities sounds even more frightening.
"It'll be fine," Minseok says firmly. He turns to Kris. "Right?"
"Right," Kris agrees, even though Junmyeon's not too sure he understood the conversation.
They finish lunch far too quickly for Junmyeon's taste, considering what's coming next, and Minseok sees them off at the nearest train station. "Good luck," he tells them, "not that you'll need it." Then, to Kris, "You know what to do if there's a problem. Otherwise, let me know when you get out of the airport in Vancouver." Last, he says something to Lu Han in what Junmyeon assumes is Mandarin even though it sounds an awful lot like Korean. Whatever it is, Lu Han seems to understand and nods in response, flashing Minseok the faintest of smiles.
"Okay, let's go," Kris says, and they wave goodbye before heading to the platform.
They're all quiet as they board the train, thoughts elsewhere. Junmyeon thinks about where they're going and what they're leaving behind. Japan isn't home, but there are parts of it that still feel familiar, and it's not so far from Korea. Canada is an ocean away, and it's entirely new to him and likely to be very different.
It's not a short ride, but Junmyeon almost wishes it was longer. He's not eager to test out his new passport with its unfamiliar name (aside from the last name that's so common he's allowed to keep it), but he'll feel better once he knows it's good.
They're all a little twitchy inside the airport. Baekhyun, Jongdae and Kyungsoo stick close together, and although Lu Han's managing without anyone to hide behind anymore, his knuckles are white where they grip his suitcase. Junmyeon doesn't know if he looks as obviously nervous as them, but he definitely feels it.
"We'll go through separately and meet at the gate," Kris tells them when they find the check in counter. "Just in case."
"That's comforting," Baekhyun mutters.
"Let's just get it over with." Jongdae's voice is sharp from nerves. "I'll go first if you're chicken."
Baekhyun opens his mouth immediately, probably to retort that he's not chicken, but then he seems to think better of it and smiles sheepishly before saying, "I'll go second."
Jongdae rolls his eyes, but he's smiling, even if it's a little tight. "See you on the other side, guys," he tells them all before getting in line.
Junmyeon goes third. He sees Jongdae and then Baekhyun safely check in and head for security, but his heart still tries to pound its way out of his chest as he walks up to the counter and hands over his passport. He has to remind himself to breathe as the woman behind the counter looks him up on the computer. It's probably not taking any longer than usual, but it seems like an eternity before she finally says, "Thank you, Mr. Kim," and hands him his passport and boarding pass. He wastes no time taking them and moving away before she can realize her mistake.
He gets just as nervous when he goes through customs and security, but each time he makes it through without a problem. When he's finally through into the terminal, he sits down for a minute to calm his racing heart before continuing to the gate to meet the others. He can only hope they've had as little trouble as he did.
Baekhyun and Jongdae are already waiting at the gate, and they smile when they see him, Jongdae pouncing him for a brief hug. Lu Han shows up only a few minutes after Junmyeon, sinking into a seat beside them. Kyungsoo should be next and Kris last, but after ten minutes there's no sign of either of them. "Do you think something happened?" Baekhyun asks, getting to his feet and fidgeting nervously.
"I'm sure they're fine," Junmyeon says with more confidence than he feels. "Security just takes forever sometimes."
Kris shows up after fifteen minutes, but there's still no sign of Kyungsoo. "I didn't see him," Kris says, "but he's still got plenty of time." Then he frowns, which takes a lot of the comfort out of his words.
There are lots of explanations for why Kyungsoo isn't here that don't involve him getting caught, but it's all too easy to imagine the worst case scenario. "If they stopped him..." Jongdae says worriedly.
"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." Kris says that in English so they get a few moments of distraction while Junmyeon explains it in Korean, but then they're back to waiting in tense silence.
It's another ten painfully long minutes before finally Kyungsoo comes around the corner. Baekhyun stops pacing and throws his arms tightly around his friend, and Jongdae gets up and hugs both of them. Junmyeon can't see, but he's sure Kyungsoo is rolling his eyes when he says, voice muffled, "I'm fine, geez. Let me go."
Once Kyungsoo's managed to disentangle himself, he tells them, "Nothing happened. I just got stuck behind this couple who had no idea what they were doing. It's not a big deal." Despite his words, he looks shaken. It can't have been fun to have the experience dragged out.
They sit down to wait for boarding, incredibly relieved to all be through. There's still getting into Canada to worry about, but for now, they're together and safe and they can breathe relatively easily.
They board the plane in pairs. Jongdae takes the window seat with Junmyeon next to him in the middle, Kyungsoo and Baekhyun in the same position three rows in front of them. Kris and Lu Han are one row further forward on the opposite side of the plane. "There are more people on this plane than there were...back home," Jongdae comments as they watch people file in, searching for their seats and hoisting suitcases into the overhead bins. "Probably a lot more." He sounds partly impressed and partly wary.
"They won't bother you," Junmyeon tells him. "Most people keep to themselves on airplanes, especially on these long flights."
"Who says I'm worried?" Jongdae grins and smacks Junmyeon's shoulder. "It's exciting! In a terrifying kind of way."
That makes Junmyeon laugh. "That's a good way of describing this whole experience."
"Isn't it?" Jongdae ruefully agrees. "But it helps, you know, having you here." Then he laughs and adds, "Even if you're scared too." It's not a surprise now that Jongdae's gone back to acting normal around him, but it's still good to hear.
Jongdae stares out the window as they take off and climb higher and higher, until they pass above the clouds. They talk on and off during the meal that follows, about nothing in particular, and until the cabin lights are dimmed. "Are you going to sleep?" Jongdae asks.
"We should." It's not a very appealing prospect, with a lot on his mind that he doesn't want to give himself time to think about, but it'll be easier to face a repeat of their airport stress in Canada if he's well-rested.
Jongdae bites his lip and Junmyeon can guess he's thinking the same thing. "Maybe I'll watch a movie first." He chooses an English movie Junmyeon doesn't recognize and slips his headphones on, turning his attention to the screen.
Junmyeon makes himself as comfortable as he can and then closes his eyes, but sleep is elusive. He thinks about the growing distance between them and Korea, about everything he's leaving behind there. It's not just his family and his friends, his favorite clothes and sentimental keepsakes. It's his whole life, and his whole future. At least he's not entirely alone in this, but the unknown looms frighteningly before him in a way it never has before and he doesn't know how to deal with it. It wasn't so hard, when put on the spot, to make the decision to run away, but living with it will be a lot more complicated.
He gives up on sleep after what feels like much longer than it probably is, when it becomes clear that his brain isn't going to shut up yet, and opens his eyes. At this angle, he can barely make out fighter jets flying on the screen in front of Jongdae's seat. He leans over to get a better look, and Jongdae glances down at him. "Can't sleep?"
"You're right," Junmyeon says quietly, the words coming out more easily than they normally would in the dimly lit cabin. "This is kind of terrifying."
Jongdae doesn't laugh, doesn't try to make a joke of it or say that it'll all be okay when there's no way he can know that. He just lifts up the armrest between them and pulls Junmyeon closer to him, until he can see the screen clearly. "Just forget it for a while and watch things blow up with me," he says, voice gentler than would be expected with words like that.
The fabric of his new sweatshirt is soft under Junmyeon's cheek. He keeps his arm around Junmyeon, hand resting lightly on his hip. He's sturdier than he looks, his chest a good pillow. "I can do that," Junmyeon murmurs, curling a little closer. He's been trying hard to be strong on the outside, and tomorrow he will be again, but for now, he takes comfort in the warmth of Jongdae's body and his steady breathing, watching the silent action on the screen until he finally manages to fall asleep.
Junmyeon doesn't wake up until the cabin lights go up. The TV screen is dark and Jongdae is asleep, leaning against the window. The angles of his face stand out under the harsh fluorescent lights, his jaw, his sharp cheekbones. It's usually camouflaged by his smiles and teasing, but with his expression smoothed out by sleep, Junmyeon can see the shadows dark under his eyelashes. It's been hard on all of them, the fear and sadness and guilt and uncertainty. It'll be better, he hopes, when they can stop running and settle down, however temporarily.
Jongdae wakes up only when the flight attendants announce breakfast. "Is it morning already?" he asks sleepily, rubbing his eyes.
"Morning is relative when you're on an international flight," Junmyeon tells him. "But it's time to wake up. We'll be landing soon."
They eat their breakfast in groggy silence, and soon it's time to land. "There's a little snow," the pilot announces, "so look forward to that when we land. It's not enough to give us any trouble." Junmyeon relays the message to Jongdae, who can't understand English or Japanese.
"I almost wish we would be delayed," he mutters as they circle the airport. Junmyeon pretends not to hear.
But there's no delay, and it's not long before they're on the ground and parked at the gate. They file out slowly, and then Jongdae says, "See you on the outside," like there's no question of it before they separate to go to customs.
There's no reason for it, except that his passport has survived the scrutiny of one country already, but Junmyeon doesn't feel as nervous as he approaches the counter. Maybe he's still too sleepy to worry properly or maybe Jongdae's certainty has given him some confidence, but he doesn't question it. He offers the lies Minseok coached them in when asked about his plans in Canada, and very quickly, he's allowed to pass through.
They meet in the arrivals area, no problems this time. "I can't believe we made it." Baekhyun is smiling widely, giddy with relief, and Junmyeon feels the same. It's insane, going from being afraid to so much as express support for the Siren cause in an e-mail to running halfway across the world with them under an assumed name. In spite of everything, there's a certain thrill to it.
They emerge from the airport to find that the snow that was just barely falling when they landed has picked up significantly. Kris frowns up at the big flakes drifting down from the sky like they've personally offended him. "This could be a problem," he says.
"It's not that bad, is it?" Junmyeon asks. This is Canada. Shouldn't Kris be used to snow?
"Not here," Kris says, "but it'll be worse inland, where we're supposed to drive tonight."
"So, what, we won't be able to go?" Baekhyun asks, his smile gone. The most dangerous parts should be behind them now, but any wrinkle in the plan is still worrying.
"I don't want to get stuck on the way." Kris considers for an unpleasantly long time while the rest of them wait anxiously before he concludes, "Let's wait an hour and see. If it gets worse, we'll go tomorrow."
"But where will we wait?" Junmyeon asks. They should be safe in public here, but he doesn't like the idea, and they're all tired after a long flight.
"Oh," Kris says like that detail hadn't even occurred to him. "Uh, we can go to my apartment, I guess. "
Junmyeon can see the uneasy looks on everyone's faces, but he doesn't have a better alternative to offer. The bad weather is beyond anyone's control. "Let's go. There's no use standing out here in the cold."
They go to Kris' car and he drives them to his apartment. The snow doesn't get any harder, but it doesn't let up either, which isn't good for their chances of getting out of the city tonight.
"Seems like a nice enough city to spend a night in," Jongdae says as they get out of the car, his grim expression belying his words.
"It's a lot nicer when it's not covered in snow," Kris comments dryly, ushering them into the building.
Kris' apartment is small, but for the short time they'll hopefully be here, it'll do. Junmyeon squeezes onto the small couch with Jongdae and Kyungsoo and they settle down to watch the snow fall and hope it stops soon.
"It hardly ever snows like this," Kris tells them, "especially at this time of year."
"We're just that lucky, huh?" Baekhyun mutters.
"I guess we used up all our luck getting here." Jongdae sounds tired and he's already sinking lower on the couch next to Junmyeon.
Junmyeon would like to believe that they've still got some luck left, but after an hour, the snow still shows no signs of letting up. No one wants to admit defeat, but finally Kris sighs and says, "I guess we're staying here tonight. I'll go out and get some food and stuff before it gets any worse out there. Anyone want to come?"
Surprisingly, Lu Han volunteers. Maybe he's happy to have someone he can talk to more easily or maybe he just thinks Kris is less likely to try to attempt conversation. Whatever the reason, the two of them head out, leaving Junmyeon and the others to sit and wait some more.
Kyungsoo moves to join Baekhyun sitting on Kris' bed, all of them drooping even more now that they've lost their momentum. "I'm so ready to not be stuck in rooms doing nothing," Baekhyun comments, but nobody bothers to reply.
The minutes tick by in silence until suddenly Junmyeon hears a faint sound. It takes him a moment to register, because it's been so long since he's heard anything like it, that the sound is someone humming. He looks over to see Jongdae at the other end of the couch absently tapping his fingers on his knee. So this is how he got himself in solitary so many times. It shouldn't, knowing what Jongdae is, what his voice can do, but it makes Junmyeon smile. He must really love music to still keep forgetting himself like this after all the punishment.
"Jongdae," Baekhyun hisses, startling Junmyeon out of his thoughts, and Jongdae stops abruptly. He turns and sees Junmyeon watching him and his eyes go wide.
"I'm sorry," he says, stricken. "I didn't mean to... I just forgot..."
"It's okay," Junmyeon tells him gently. There's no need for Jongdae to worry when he's surrounded by Sirens, but he doesn't know that.
"No, it's not!" Jongdae bursts out, much louder than the situation seems to warrant. It's the first time Junmyeon's heard him yell, but he doesn't think it's him that Jongdae's angry with. He doesn't think Jongdae's even really angry. Sure enough, the fight goes out of him immediately and he continues in a small, unhappy voice, "I don't want to do that to you. To anyone, but especially not to you."
Guilt twists in Junmyeon's stomach again. How many times is his secret going to hurt Jongdae before he can finally bring himself to stop being a coward? He glances to the side and he's not surprised to see Kyungsoo looking at him. He's expecting to be glared at for hurting Jongdae's feelings, but instead Kyungsoo gives him a tiny sympathetic smile and a nod, as if to say, "Go on."
He's right. It'll have to come out sooner or later. Junmyeon's put it off too long already. He takes a deep breath, searching for his courage, and then says, "You don't have to worry about me."
"What?" Now Jongdae just looks confused.
"There's something I haven't told you," Junmyeon continues. "Something that happened during the escape."
He pauses too long, still trying to work up the nerve, so Baekhyun asks, "What are you talking about?"
"I came into solitary to get you out," he says to Jongdae. "And then that guard came in."
"Yeah, I saw," Jongdae says. "But Kyungsoo came and stopped him from doing anything."
Junmyeon looks at Kyungsoo again, but he doesn't give him any help. "He did. But the guard got there before Kyungsoo did and...I panicked. I needed to do something to stop him from raising the alarm and for some reason I thought I should try to sing. To scare him, I guess, long enough for me to figure something out. But it didn't scare him. It...he didn't move. He just stood there."
"Because of Kyungsoo, right?" Jongdae speaks slowly, like he's connecting the dots but doesn't want to reach the logical conclusion.
"No." It comes out quiet but steady. "Because of me."
Silence follows Junmyeon's words, a much more loaded silence than before. He looks nervously at Jongdae, and then at Baekhyun and back again. There's shock written all over their faces. "You're telling me you're...a Siren?" Jongdae finally asks, disbelieving.
"I must be, right?" Junmyeon looks to Kyungsoo for confirmation. "You saw it."
Kyungsoo nods. "The guard was just standing there, perfectly still, and it wasn't me doing it. It wasn't until Junmyeon-hyung stopped singing that he started moving again and I stopped him."
"But how is that possible?" Baekhyun asks. "You must have been tested."
"Every year, just like everybody else," Junmyeon confirms. "Maybe there was a flaw in the tests or maybe I'm just a really late bloomer. I don't know, but I'm sure of what happened and I don't see what else it could mean."
"So that's why you decided to come with us?" The shock is already fading from Baekhyun's expression. "I thought it was weird that you'd throw everything away like that if you didn't have to, when you had such a nice life, but now it makes sense."
"I didn't know if the guard would remember," Junmyeon explains, "or if he'd realize it was me who did it and not Kyungsoo the whole time, but it was too much of a risk. If they knew, I'd probably end up in the high security camp, and if even regular camps are getting dangerous..."
"Did you know?" Baekhyun asks Kyungsoo. He answers the question well enough by looking away, but Baekhyun doesn't bother him, turning back to Junmyeon. "You could've told us. What did you think we'd do, turn you in?
"I'm sorry," Junmyeon says. "I just needed some time to deal with it myself, you know? Get used to the idea. It was a big shock."
"Well, welcome to the cool Siren club," Baekhyun says, letting it go with an easy laugh. "I'm sure you'll fit right in."
Junmyeon smiles, relieved that Baekhyun's taking it so well. Jongdae, on the other hand, has been conspicuously silent, and that's worrying. He's staring past Junmyeon with a frown on his face. Junmyeon grins at him, trying to make light of the situation. "Don't you want me in your club?"
"What?" Jongdae asks, his thoughts clearly elsewhere. "No, I..." His frown deepens. "Why didn't you say anything? Even when I tried to talk to you about coming with us. If you'd just explained, I would've understood."
"I'm sorry," Junmyeon says again. He does feel guilty about that, but there's nothing to be done for it now. It was never about trust, anyway, only about him not being ready. "Like I said, I needed time..."
"What's the big deal?" Baekhyun asks, his tone light and teasing even though Jongdae is serious. "He said he's sorry. You don't like him anymore if he's a Siren?"
"You're such an idiot sometimes," Jongdae mutters.
"There's something we used to talk about in the camp," Kyungsoo jumps in suddenly. "We didn't use our powers, of course, except maybe a little on accident like Jongdae, but we talked about them a lot. One thing we wondered was whether it was only singing that would affect people. If it's tied to our voices, you have to wonder what difference it makes if we're singing or humming or speaking normally."
It's interesting, but Junmyeon doesn't understand why he's saying it now, in the middle of this conversation. Who cares about the details of Siren powers? Baekhyun doesn't seem to get it either, but Jongdae's looking at Kyungsoo and biting his lip like he knows where this is going and he's nervous about it. Junmyeon half expects him to stop Kyungsoo, but he stays quiet.
"We also wondered how much it's under our control. None of us meant to control anyone during the Siren tests, but it happened anyway, so we didn't know how much we can turn it on or off or control the effect it has on people."
"You did a pretty good job with that guard," Junmyeon points out.
Kyungsoo pulls a wry face. "I had no idea if it would work, to tell you the truth. I'd never tried to make anyone do anything before."
"The point is," Jongdae cuts in, getting impatient, "for all that we know, we could be messing with people's heads all the time without meaning to, subtly influencing them to do things or feel things, maybe even in a way that lasts."
"So you thought you might be controlling me?" Junmyeon asks. There's a connection he's still not quite grasping, what this has to do with Jongdae's reaction to learning he's a Siren too. Did he think that was the only reason Junmyeon was nice to any of them, because they unintentionally forced him to be? That that was why he helped them?
Jongdae won't look him in the eye, and then Junmyeon notices that he's blushing and suddenly he gets it. It's like the world shifts, casual touches and caring words taking on a different meaning with this new context, and he wonders how he could have missed it. He feels a flush rise in his own cheeks, and Baekhyun looks back and forth between Junmyeon and Jongdae a few times before he asks, trying to hold back laughter, "Are you telling me you didn't realize Jongdae had a crush on you?"
"Should I have?" Junmyeon asks sheepishly. In retrospect, Jongdae's anger at Junmyeon putting himself in danger with them, and the way he's opened up to Junmyeon and all the times he's stuck close to him make more sense knowing that, but he hadn't realized they meant anything more than friendship.
"Is that a problem?" Baekhyun's eyes flick over to Jongdae again and then back at Junmyeon. "I kind of thought you were interested too."
"Well, I..." Thinking about it, he should have realized that too, that even if he's also gotten close to Baekhyun and Kyungsoo, things are a little different with Jongdae. It was Jongdae above anyone else who he couldn't bear to leave behind.
"What, you're not into guys?" Baekhyun presses, shameless as ever.
"I'm not really..." Junmyeon starts. "Well, yes, but..." It's not new to him, exactly, but it's not something he's entirely comfortable with. However much Baekhyun may be laughing about it, liking another guy is complicated even under normal circumstances.
Baekhyun just looks at him for a moment before he says dryly, "Hyung, if you're worried about what other people think...you're an unregistered Siren traveling from country to country illegally with a group of Sirens you helped escape from an isolation camp and you're worried society will judge you for being gay?"
"Besides, Canada is way more liberal about that kind of thing," Kyungsoo adds, deadpan.
It's all so ridiculous Junmyeon has to laugh, and he's relieved to see that Jongdae does too. It's not as simple as all that, but Baekhyun does have a point. He's already done many things that are a lot riskier, a lot further out of his comfort zone. And besides, looking at Jongdae as he smiles, his eyes crinkling and the corners of his mouth quirking up in that way Junmyeon thought was cute even when he barely knew him, he thinks this could be a risk worth taking.
"Live a little, why don't you?" Baekhyun concludes, grinning. "What do you—?"
"Stop," Jongdae cuts in. He's still smiling, but his voice is firm. "We're not in the camp anymore, so not everything needs to be done with an audience." He meets Junmyeon's eyes, and he looks uncharacteristically shy but determined. "Let's talk about this once we're safely where we're going. Whatever you want to say, whatever we want to do, it can wait until then. Okay?"
"Okay," Junmyeon agrees. Even if they needed a few pushes to get to this point, they can figure out the rest themselves when they have the privacy to do it right. He smiles, feeling so much lighter with his secret out, and happy in spite of the uncertainty, and Jongdae smiles back.
By the time Lu Han and Kris get back, Jongdae and Kyungsoo are asleep, and Baekhyun and Junmyeon are on the verge of joining them. "We brought food," Kris says, "but maybe sleep is better."
"Food is always better." Baekhyun kicks Kyungsoo awake, and Jongdae wakes up at his yelp, looking panicked for just a moment before he sees Kyungsoo attacking Baekhyun in retaliation.
Once that's over, they sit down to eat. "The snow should stop by morning," Kris tells them. "We can leave as soon as the roads are clear." That's a relief, at least, that they won't have to be here for long. It's been a long, stressful trip, and Junmyeon is ready to be done with it.
It's still early when they finish eating, but Kris says they might as well sleep and get up early in the morning. They spread out extra blankets on the floor in a makeshift bed, Kris apologizing that that's all he has to offer. It's not comfortable and there's still a lot to think about, but even though he slept for a few hours on the plane, Junmyeon is tired enough to pass out quickly.
In the morning, the sky is blue, the sun shining off the accumulated snow. Kris looks out the window and nods his approval. "If the roads are clear all the way, it'll take about two hours to get where we're going."
"Where exactly are we going?" Baekhyun asks him.
"The middle of nowhere," Kris says wryly, "but maybe not as bad as you're used to. You'll have at least a few neighbors."
"And that's safe?" Junmyeon asks. He's spent his whole life in a big city so having neighbors sounds better than being on their own in the wilderness, but considering that they're fugitives, it seems risky.
"This town's a safe place to be," Kris says with an enigmatic smile. Some things don't change, it seems, no matter who's leading them around. "They haven't arrived yet, but over the next few weeks, you might even meet a few new neighbors you know."
Jongdae perks up at that. "Some of the others from our camp?"
Kris manages to keep up the mysterious expression for a few seconds before he gives up and smiles. "Among others. They're on their way. A few stragglers too, from what I hear."
That's a big relief, even if Junmyeon fears it'll still be too few residents of that camp who made it to safety. The others are smiling too, relieved and happy.
After just over two hours of driving, Kris pulls up in front of a two-story apartment building. There's another building next door, and then nothing until a house further down where the road dead ends. "This is going to be your home for now."
The apartment he unlocks for them has three bedrooms, a kitchen and a living room, all with basic furniture. It's not much, but after spending much of the last week in rooms meant for one or two, when they weren't on planes or trains or squeezed into shipping containers, it seems incredibly spacious. Besides, it's only Junmyeon who's been spoiled having an apartment to himself the last few years. The others are used to sharing space.
They drag their suitcases into the bedrooms, splitting up the same way they did on the plane without discussion. "Are you staying with us?" Junmyeon asks Kris. He's carrying a bag, but not a suitcase like the rest of them, and he didn't follow Lu Han into the third bedroom.
Kris shakes his head. "I was going to stay the first night, but since we left late, I have to get back tonight. I have work tomorrow." It's strange, thinking of Kris going to work like an ordinary person, like he didn't sneak five people illegally into the country yesterday. "But I'll be in touch, and I'll be back probably next weekend with the next group." That's strange too, that this isn't over yet. Junmyeon is just glad it is for them, for now.
Before he leaves, Kris takes them out to lunch in a restaurant fifteen minutes drive away. If the waitress and the handful of locals there think anything of the group of strangers speaking multiple languages other than English as they wolf down sandwiches, they don't say anything, just smile politely at them.
"This is kind of weird," Baekhyun comments as he smiles back. "Never thought I'd end up in small town Canada."
"It beats no town Korea," Kyungsoo says.
"True," Baekhyun agrees. "The food's not bad either."
After lunch, they go grocery shopping and then return to the apartment building. There's a middle-aged couple walking down the street, and they stop out front when they see them carrying bags inside. Junmyeon eyes them worriedly, but the smiles they react with are less politely curious than warm and knowing. "Are they...?" Jongdae asks, stopping to look at them.
Junmyeon doesn't know what to make of them, but the question of whether they're somehow involved is answered when Kris waves the couple over. "Mr. and Mrs. Thompson live in that house down the road," he explains, "and they own these apartments. And they're, uh, friends."
"Sorry," the woman says, "we only speak English and a little French, but if you need anything, we're here."
Junmyeon's English is good enough to follow that, more or less, but judging from the other's blank looks, he's the only one, so Kris translates. "Thank you," Baekhyun tells the couple. It's probably just about the only English he knows, but he looks very pleased with himself when they smile widely in response.
Back inside, Kris says, "So I guess you can see why you're here of all places. Their son lives in apartment 101 and he knows all about you too, but nobody else around here does. You can still talk to people, but...try to act normal, and remember the story we gave you."
That's good to hear, both that they don't need to hide away completely and that they'll have some allies nearby. There's still a lot up in the air about what their lives will be like from here on out, but for now, it's something.
After they unpack the groceries, Kris takes them on a tour of the town. There's not much to see, but there's a smaller grocery store that they can walk to, and a doctor's office and a police station and a few restaurants further out. "Try to stay away from the police station, obviously," Kris says dryly.
By the time they're done, it's late afternoon and starting to get dark. "I should get going," Kris says. He leaves them a list of phone numbers, his and the Thompsons' and their son's, along with a few international numbers in case of emergency. "Not that there should be any emergencies," he hastily adds.
"So, what, we just hang out here?" Junmyeon asks. There are worse fates, but considering how little there is in this town, it won't be much less boring than the Siren camp.
"For now," Kris says. "We're hoping to make it possible for you to work or even study, and if you want to help with Siren stuff, there are things you can do, but not yet. Just give us some time."
That's some comfort, at least. Junmyeon's not one for a life of leisure, and he's sure the Sirens have had more than enough of that. It's good to know that some possibilities should open up to them down the line.
With that, Kris says goodbye. It's not until he's gone and they're left alone in the apartment that the reality of the situation really sinks in. "So this is home, I guess," Jongdae says, looking around.
Baekhyun sprawls onto the sofa in front of the TV. "I could get used to this."
Junmyeon thinks about joining him, but Jongdae puts a hand on his arm and he remembers that they have a conversation to finish. Kyungsoo looks over at them and then says, a little too loudly, "Let's see what's on," grabbing the remote out of Baekhyun's hand and turning on the TV. While they're distracted, Junmyeon follows Jongdae into into the bedroom they'll be sharing and closes the door behind them.
"Sorry," Jongdae says. "I just thought we should, you know..."
"Get it over with?" Junmyeon offers.
Jongdae grimaces. "That makes it sound like a bad thing, but yeah, I guess." He sits on the bed closest to his suitcase, so Junmyeon takes the other. The room is small enough that that doesn't put them so far apart. "I wanted to say, there's no pressure. We're stuck together, and I think, I mean, I hope you're not going to stop being my friend, but if that's all you want to be, I'm not going to make a big deal about it."
Junmyeon doesn't know what to think about that. He doesn't think it means that Jongdae's not interested in him, but it's weirdly disappointing, him sounding like he would give up so easily. "But you do want to...?"
"I do like you." Jongdae's smile is shy, but he meets Junmyeon's eyes without hesitation. "I have for a while, even when I thought there was no way anything would ever happen."
"Because you thought I wasn't interested?"
"Because I was locked up in a Siren camp and you weren't," Jongdae says dryly. "And then because I was going to leave the country and you weren't, and also because I was worried about messing with your mind."
"That too." Junmyeon laughs, mostly at himself. This is a bit more complicated than your average university relationship.
"I also wasn't sure about you," Jongdae adds, his voice going softer. "You were really nice to me, but you're nice to everyone."
"I'm nicer to you," Junmyeon finds himself saying. Maybe he's not nicer, exactly, but he's something with Jongdae that he isn't with anyone else. He looks at Jongdae, the corners of his mouth turned up in an uncertain smile, those killer cheekbones, and remembers how it felt to press up against his side and tell him things he wouldn't tell anyone else. "I didn't really get it, before, but I do. Like you, I mean."
Jongdae's face lights up at that, and if Junmyeon had any remaining doubts about his feelings, they'd be erased by how happy the sight makes him. There's something about Jongdae's smile that makes him want to see it as often as he can. He gets up and moves to sit next to Jongdae, taking his hand and lacing their fingers together. "I don't know what's going to happen after this. To us, to the world. I always thought I knew what my future would be like, more or less, so this is..."
"Terrifying," Jongdae supplies. It's not a question.
"Yeah," Junmyeon agrees.
"Would you take it all back, if you could?" Jongdae's gaze is piercing from this close, but Junmyeon doesn't look away. "If you'd never started volunteering, never met any of us, your life would be a lot simpler. A lot less scary."
Junmyeon thinks about what his life was like this time last year, classes and friends and worrying about so many things he's realized don't matter at all, unaware of how easy he had it. He thinks about the camp and the experiments Minseok talked about, and about Jongdae's bright smile and Baekhyun's noisy laugh and Kyungsoo's quiet confidence compared to the way Lu Han is scared of his own shadow.
"No." He punctuates the word with a squeeze of Jongdae's hand. "Not for a second." He's sacrificed a lot, and only time will tell how everything will play out, but if there's one thing he's learned in changing from that carefree student into who he is now, it's that there are some things he's willing to sacrifice for.
"You might regret it." Jongdae's voice is soft now, a little sad. "Even if you don't now, you might later."
Junmyeon considers for a moment how to answer. "I might," he concedes, "but you know what? Not knowing what's going to happen is exciting too. We could change the world, and that's not something I ever believed I could do. It must be exciting for you too, right, after the same old thing every day for so long?"
"That's true." Jongdae's smiling again. That's good.
"Baekhyun was right," Junmyeon continues. "I should live a little and see where it takes me. There's a big world out there and a lot of things to experience, and a lot of things that are more important than me." He turns, and Jongdae's smile is so close now that he can't resist leaning in to press a kiss to it. Jongdae beams in response, and no, in spite of everything, Junmyeon can't regret the day he set foot in that Siren camp or any choice he's made since then.
There's a crash and a yell from the living room and they both jump. "Some things never change," Jongdae says ruefully.
"Should we go rescue Baekhyun?" Junmyeon asks, grinning.
Jongdae looks like he's seriously considering saying no, but then he heaves a put-upon sigh. "I guess." He gets to his feet without letting go of Junmyeon's hand, offering his other hand to pull him up. Junmyeon falls against him and they kiss for one long, lingering moment during which Junmyeon considers whether he really likes Baekhyun that much, but then there's another yell and they break apart.
"It's okay," Jongdae says with a smile that's somehow even bigger than before. "We've got plenty of time to live a lot."
Epilogue
They've been in Canada for three months when the first news of Siren experiments breaks. Kris calls at 7 p.m. and says, "Turn on the news. They found out about China's experiments."
A minute ago, they were all talking and laughing, but now everyone's looking at Junmyeon as he hangs up the phone. "Turn on the TV," he says, and Baekhyun jumps to do it.
Every channel is showing the same breaking news. Junmyeon's English comprehension isn't what it needs to be to follow the story, but he can read the headline at the bottom of the screen, Shocking Siren Experiments Revealed.
Then the picture changes from the newscaster to three serious-faced people with the caption, Witnesses Speak. Lu Han jumps, and Junmyeon turns to see him staring at the screen with wide eyes. "What's wrong?"
"I know him." Lu Han points to the man on the right side of the screen. He focuses for a moment on the screen, where Chinese characters identify each person. "Huang Zitao. I didn't know his name. He helped me get out."
"I thought that was Yixing," Jongdae says.
"Yixing helped later," Lu Han explains. "Getting out of China." His Korean is still halting, but he manages well enough with them. "Zitao was a guard at the camp. He got hurt in the escape so he stayed behind."
"What are they saying?" Baekhyun asks impatiently, still watching the screen. The man on the right, this Huang Zitao, is speaking Chinese, subtitled in fast-moving English.
Lu Han listens for a while. "The other two are Sirens," he says, pausing to listen between sentences. "Their...what do you call it? To talk with?" He gestures to his throat.
"Vocal cords?" Junmyeon offers.
Lu Han shrugs. "I guess. They were cut. They can't sing so they can't control anyone, but they can't talk either." His voice is more or less steady, but Junmyeon notices that he's tugging his sleeve down over his scarred hand, a nervous habit he's developed. This isn't an easy topic for him. "They wrote down what happened. How they were picked out of the camp's residents and hidden away and used for experiments. Said there are a lot like them, and others who had worse..."
Nobody seems to know what to say when Lu Han finishes. "We really dodged a bullet, didn't we?" Jongdae says faintly. Junmyeon puts a comforting hand on his shoulder and Jongdae flashes him a weak smile.
The screen goes back to the announcer speaking English and Kyungsoo mutes it. "This is big, right?" he says. "People will know now, what's happening. That has to change the game."
It takes a while, but it does come out that this is not an isolated incident, first only in China, but then Russia and then a week later, to a considerably more surprised reaction from the world, France. South Korean politicians express their disgust only to have it leaked a few days later that they were close to implementing their own similar program.
It's not the whole world, but enough countries for it to be a big deal, for it to look like a trend in the treatment of Sirens. There are those who would say it's okay, even necessary for the safety of the non-Siren majority, but when reports of Siren powers being tested on unwilling ordinary citizens in China comes out, public opinion turns more solidly against the governments who supported these things.
"Do you think it'll be enough?" Junmyeon asks Kris one night when he's stopped by their apartment. They're sitting around the TV after dinner, watching the news. "To change things."
"I don't know," Kris admits. "You're the political science expert. What do you think?
Junmyeon would hardly call himself an expert, but he considers the question. "It's an opening for everyone trying to change the system. It's hard to say if it'll work, but now's the time to go for it with everything we've got, while the world is listening."
"Do you think the Siren camps will ever go away?" Jongdae asks. "Maybe we could go home, if they did." There's so much hope in his voice, more than they've had reason for until now.
"Someday," Kris says firmly. "They have to."
"We'll make it happen," Junmyeon agrees. He laughs a little so he doesn't sound too full of himself, but he does mean it, in a way. They've been doing what they can since their escape to help other Sirens here and abroad, but now, with this golden opportunity before them, he's more determined than ever to make a difference.
"With people as great as us working on it, anything can happen," Baekhyun declares grandly.
Everyone laughs, but then Jongdae says, "We've come this far, right? I used to not believe we'd ever live free again, but here we are. So I'll believe it. Anything can happen."
Go here for an epi-epilogue.
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